Am i too old for med school?

[Yulduz82]

Greetings!

I'm sure hundreds of people have already asked this question, but I am still hoping to get some of your opinions on this issue.

I am 28 and just got accepted to med school for January 2011, and I am terribly scared to commit to this decision. My big concern:

- My age. Especially considering the fact that I am a girl, and will need to start a family and make many cute babies soon. If everything goes smoothly, I will be able to start practicing when I am 35-36 (don't know what exactly I would be practicing thought). If so, then when am I supposed to start procreating?... Besides, after reading how grueling med school and especially residency are (working 85 hrs/week, no time for the family etc.) I get discouraged more and more. I definitely don't want my family to be attention-deprived. How does one strike a good balance, and is it possible?

- Just came back from my family doctor. I was asking him all these questions, and really felt that his was trying to dissuade me from going to med school all together, or if I do decide to go, to choose a specialization that would allow me to have a lighter work load. What are those specializations? Anybody knows?

- My other concern is that med school might suck all life out of me, leaving me absolutely passionless, tired and with no ambitions. Will put me in the box so to speak and will make me work according to the protocol all my life, leaving no room for creativity. Should I just do an MBA? But where is the guarantee that after finishing it I will come with a revolutionary business idea and start making millions right away?... Being a physician seems to be more appropriate for a lady, who also wants to have a family, than being a business woman, it seems...

Are there lady physicians, who can share their life experience and their perspective on a situation like this? Or any opinion is highly welcomed!

Thanks!!

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[Crelal]

My class has at least 25% of people over 25, so no, you are not too old.

As far as the family piece, I would check out mommd.com You will find many different situations there and can see how people have done it. I am a little different in that I entered medical school with three children and will be having my fourth this fall during MS2.

Good luck!

 

[Pons Asinorum]

1. No, you're absolutely not too old. There are points in your training where it "works" to have children, in med school, in residency and as an attending.

2. Utilize the search function. This topic has been discussed many times and by people who are on the other side of these decisions by now. Seek them out.

3. There are a couple of non-trad blogs by women about your age who have grappled with this question and have some good commentary, and reader comments. I highly recommend (for more than just info on juggling a family)
http://oldmdgirl.blogspot.com/
http://journeysinmedicine.blogspot.com/
(obviously) http://mommd.com/

As for the rest of your post, I'll leave to others. I can't say that I feel whether business or medicine is "more appropriate for a lady." I know it feels anachronistic just to type the words as a male in 2010. You can do either. And to be successful at either, there will be times that your family is "attention-deprived" and that it consumes your life. That is the nature of hard jobs. That's why so often here on the non-trad forum, you hear people say something along the lines of "don't do it unless it's the only thing you can imagine doing." Hard work can lead to high income all kinds of places. But none of them are perfectly conducive to you starting a family. That's up to you to make happen.

Caveat Emptor: I'm a soon-to-be 32 year-old male (hopefully) starting MS1 next fall, with a 9-month old and most likely another sometime during MS1/MS2. I don't think my kid(s) will regret my decision.

 

[CookDeRosa]

Greetings!

I'm sure hundreds of people have already asked this question, but I am still hoping to get some of your opinions on this issue.

I am 28 and just got accepted to med school for January 2011, and I am terribly scared to commit to this decision. My big concern:

- My age. Especially considering the fact that I am a girl, and will need to start a family and make many cute babies soon. If everything goes smoothly, I will be able to start practicing when I am 35-36 (don't know what exactly I would be practicing thought). If so, then when am I supposed to start procreating?... Besides, after reading how grueling med school and especially residency are (working 85 hrs/week, no time for the family etc.) I get discouraged more and more. I definitely don't want my family to be attention-deprived. How does one strike a good balance, and is it possible?

- Just came back from my family doctor. I was asking him all these questions, and really felt that his was trying to dissuade me from going to med school all together, or if I do decide to go, to choose a specialization that would allow me to have a lighter work load. What are those specializations? Anybody knows?

- My other concern is that med school might suck all life out of me, leaving me absolutely passionless, tired and with no ambitions. Will put me in the box so to speak and will make me work according to the protocol all my life, leaving no room for creativity. Should I just do an MBA? But where is the guarantee that after finishing it I will come with a revolutionary business idea and start making millions right away?... Being a physician seems to be more appropriate for a lady, who also wants to have a family, than being a business woman, it seems...

Are there lady physicians, who can share their life experience and their perspective on a situation like this? Or any opinion is highly welcomed!

Thanks!!

99% of other women are going to tell you to go forward with your dreams to hell with your family. I'm the 1% who thinks it's a bad idea. Sequencing is important, and life flows easier because of it.

If you had already started a family, you would better understand the demands of young children (I don't mean physical demands- I mean their emotional growth and development that are served by your presence) and weigh that against taking night classes, etc. You'd be able to juggle it out. Not knowing what you don't know (I mean that respectfully) you are putting yourself into a forced position where your children will come second. There's no way you are about to walk away with all that student loan debt once you get pregnant- especially if you have yet to start residency. You'll be so far upside down that you'll be one of those women who "have to" work. That's a hard position to be in when you don't want to be. Of course, maybe you won't mind it- and that's none of my business.

I have 4 children, and I'm going to be brutally honest. I had my first son young in my prior career. I was only 2 years out of school and I landed my dream job. I was 2 years into my dream job when I got married/pregnant. I worked up until delivery and planned a very short maternity leave. *after all, I didn't even like kids, I wasn't 100% sure I'd like my own.
3 weeks back to work my grandmother (babysitter) said "oh you should have seen what he did today- it was so cute" and like a ton of bricks I realized that I would never see any of those things- unless they happened after 6pm or on weekends. I quit my job the next day. That was 16 years ago. I have no regrets. I do have 4 amazing children- which I proudly raised.
When I start med school xf 3 of my 4 will be teens and my youngest will be 9. My youngest, as a result, will be getting short changed. It's a fact. Will he need therapy? No, but if I could stop the clock and wait until he was closer to 15 I would.
I know that telling you my story doesn't mean it will be similar to your story, and we each get to make our own way in this world- our own decisions. But, I think your concern is valid. I think that to balance some of the links shared in this thread, you might want to do a google scholar search for studies about early childhood development and the impact of daycare vs stay at home moms. It's a choice. It's your choice. But, I think it should be "either - or" not "balanced" because balance is a myth working mothers tell people to justify working.

 

[MiCasaMD]

So, you are trying to say that you didn't contemplate all of these variables you mentioned while you were going through premed for 4+ years? It didn't even cross your mind that you wanted to populate the world more so than becoming a physician? I think you should quit, so they can give the spot to someone more deserving of becoming a health care provider. Go make babies and be merry.

 

[TriagePreMed]

Should I just do an MBA?

I always say this to my friends: You can't spell "*******" without "mba." Seriously, the MBA degree is the most bull**** of all. Unless you have connections, you will not get into a top program. The second tier and lower programs are useless for those seeking a job. The people that get them usually are in the corporate world and have a boss forcing them to get it or otherwise they can't escalate the corporate ladder.

If you already have a husband and both of you are ready to have children, I would say you just give up on med school. You seem to be one of those rare gems out there that values families and realizes that at the end of the day a job is a job, while a family is the most important thing there is. Just because the feminist revolution has given you the opportunity to go after all your dreams, it doesn't mean you can't choose your dreams to be your family.

Also, it seems you want to do primary care. You should consider becoming a nurse practitioner. I know some nurse practitioners at work. They do the same exact job as the primary care doctors, except they don't have to deal with liability insurance.

 

[brdmadgrl82]

Hi, I'm 28 and a currently a post-bac. I will not be applying until I am 30. My husband and I thought long and hard about this...we both understand the risk of not having children and we are ok with it if we don't because of how important it is for me to commit my life to others. I have discussed this with physicians who have families...many don't get to spend much time watching their child grow up. They miss all the cute things like first day of school, and other because they are on call. I have talked to some who make it work...there are always family vacations once you are practicing and there will be some time off to play catch up with your kid. I should also mention they have babysitters. are you prepared to have a babysitter when needed? are you going to be ok with the child calling your babysitter mommy? (heard stories about that one too). I also suggest researching more about this before you make this decision. It is possible to have a child, but it is more difficult to raise that child the way you want because you will always have to rely on others for help with the childcare. Can your husband stay at home full time once you do have a child? I am just posting these questions to give you something to think about. I'm sure you will make the best decision once you really think about this. If family is this important to you why not put med school on hold? You got the stats to get in again later (maybe when the child starts pre-school full time?). First couple years go by fast. I might sound like I know from experience, however, I don't have children but I have alot of nephews, nieces, friends with babies already, and I have worked as a sitter for a few families.

 

[brdmadgrl82]

I always say this to my friends: You can't spell "*******" without "mba." Seriously, the MBA degree is the most bull**** of all. Unless you have connections, you will not get into a top program. The second tier and lower programs are useless for those seeking a job. The people that get them usually are in the corporate world and have a boss forcing them to get it or otherwise they can't escalate the corporate ladder.

If you already have a husband and both of you are ready to have children, I would say you just give up on med school. You seem to be one of those rare gems out there that values families and realizes that at the end of the day a job is a job, while a family is the most important thing there is. Just because the feminist revolution has given you the opportunity to go after all your dreams, it doesn't mean you can't choose your dreams to be your family.

Also, it seems you want to do primary care. You should consider becoming a nurse practitioner. I know some nurse practitioners at work. They do the same exact job as the primary care doctors, except they don't have to deal with liability insurance.

I agree with the NP suggestion! Why not do that first? You can always decide to do medicine later if you feel that thats what you really want. My neighbor is an NP and she just had a baby shes 26 her husband 27.

 

[mspeedwagon]

Wow... I don't know how I didn't see this thread, but there is some terrible advice in it.

I'm not sure where you are located, but go to your local medical school and hospital and talk to some folks about their life. You'll notice they all have lives (unlike some folks on sdn).

At 28, you are at the right age to go to medical school now. You will graduate at 32 and with a 3 yr residency you'll be 35 and a practicing physician, which will be great. My advice would be to differ having kids until you are at least a 2nd yr resident (there is no prize for having a kid at 28 vs 34). You'll have a substantially greater income and be better able to support the family.

If you have been reading about the grueling nature of medical school and residency on SDN it is HIGHLY overexaggurated. My gf (now an M3) says that for the first two years you basically have a regular 9-5 jobs with some HW. If you do some searches on here for the least amount of work to get through medical school there are folks that studied 2-3 hrs a day and graduated (albeit, not at the top of their class, but what do you call the person that graduates last in their medical school class? Yup, doctor). Rotations vary (surgery rotation can be 12-16 hrs a day... all other rotations are easier). Residency depends on the field.

Given your needs, I agree with your family doctor that you should look in specialities with lower workloads (primary care oriented). These doctors are NEVER on call and don't really work much. Some work from 10 am - 3 pm. Yes, that's it, 5 days a weeks and never on weekends. That's pretty good imho (there is someone on here who had a husband that was at home by 4 p.m. every day). Of course you aren't making the same as a neurosurgeon, but you'll be living comfortably.

Regarding an MBA, if you want details PM. It's only worth going to the Top 20 schools. You don't need connections to get in (I know plenty of folks that have gotten in without any). What you do need is a high GMAT and great ECs. A friend of mine even was able to get into Wharton (UPenn) for her MBA after working as a stand-up comedian (http://www.funnybrowngirl.com/). I was accepted, but chose not to attend the MBA program at Georgetown (again, with absolutely no connections). That said, I wouldn't recommend this path over medicine. To make money with an MBA you need to be prepared to fly all time time (as a consultant or in sales... and we're talking 500,000+ miles per year) or work 20 hour days (investment banking or upper management) and as you rise the corporate ladder it only gets worse.

Finally, I disagree with the NP suggestion. It's becoming fairly hard to get entry-level NP positions. There have been so many direct-entry programs coming up that most entry level NPs are starting to have to go to remote locations to get training. My sister-in-laws sister, who is a newly minted NP, can't find a job in any desirable coastal state in America (CA, NY, MA has been her focus). She's a Harvard grad and turned down med school to go the NP route to have a family and flexibility.

 

[yaparqa]

nice outlook, i agree that things are all or one and 'balance' aint somethin you can do with med and 24 hours in one day.

 

[mspeedwagon]

And when I said "some folks on sdn" I was talking about folks like the person below. Having a balanced life is not only possible in medicine, but actually what most people in medicine have.

nice outlook, i agree that things are all or one and 'balance' aint somethin you can do with med and 24 hours in one day.

 

[datsa]

There are already enough pertinent replies to this message, so I'll be brief.
In general, you are certainly NOT too old to go to medical school. As long as you have the drive to succeed, and are willing to make the sacrifices, then age should be irrelevant. Unless, of course, age interferes with other plans that you may have, such as having children and starting a family. Then you need to weigh the pros and cons of the timing of each, especially given that the older a woman gets, the lower her chances of having kids.
But it is possible. Lots of medical schools have classes with students in their 30s and 40s, and some even older: One of my college classmates waited until after her kids were grown to enroll in college at age 42, and went to medical school at age 48. Another one of my colleagues went to medical school at age 50 after her kids were grown. These are exceptions, of course, but it shows that age isn't a barrier unless you or the medical school to which you are applying allow it to be. And another friend we to PA school at age 61. So there are opportunities. The biggest barriers are getting over the fear and prejudices one has regarding age.

 

[brdmadgrl82]

Wow... I don't know how I didn't see this thread, but there is some terrible advice in it.

I'm not sure where you are located, but go to your local medical school and hospital and talk to some folks about their life. You'll notice they all have lives (unlike some folks on sdn).

At 28, you are at the right age to go to medical school now. You will graduate at 32 and with a 3 yr residency you'll be 35 and a practicing physician, which will be great. My advice would be to differ having kids until you are at least a 2nd yr resident (there is no prize for having a kid at 28 vs 34). You'll have a substantially greater income and be better able to support the family.

If you have been reading about the grueling nature of medical school and residency on SDN it is HIGHLY overexaggurated. My gf (now an M3) says that for the first two years you basically have a regular 9-5 jobs with some HW. If you do some searches on here for the least amount of work to get through medical school there are folks that studied 2-3 hrs a day and graduated (albeit, not at the top of their class, but what do you call the person that graduates last in their medical school class? Yup, doctor). Rotations vary (surgery rotation can be 12-16 hrs a day... all other rotations are easier). Residency depends on the field.

Given your needs, I agree with your family doctor that you should look in specialities with lower workloads (primary care oriented). These doctors are NEVER on call and don't really work much. Some work from 10 am - 3 pm. Yes, that's it, 5 days a weeks and never on weekends. That's pretty good imho (there is someone on here who had a husband that was at home by 4 p.m. every day). Of course you aren't making the same as a neurosurgeon, but you'll be living comfortably.

Regarding an MBA, if you want details PM. It's only worth going to the Top 20 schools. You don't need connections to get in (I know plenty of folks that have gotten in without any). What you do need is a high GMAT and great ECs. A friend of mine even was able to get into Wharton (UPenn) for her MBA after working as a stand-up comedian (http://www.funnybrowngirl.com/). I was accepted, but chose not to attend the MBA program at Georgetown (again, with absolutely no connections). That said, I wouldn't recommend this path over medicine. To make money with an MBA you need to be prepared to fly all time time (as a consultant or in sales... and we're talking 500,000+ miles per year) or work 20 hour days (investment banking or upper management) and as you rise the corporate ladder it only gets worse.

Finally, I disagree with the NP suggestion. It's becoming fairly hard to get entry-level NP positions. There have been so many direct-entry programs coming up that most entry level NPs are starting to have to go to remote locations to get training. My sister-in-laws sister, who is a newly minted NP, can't find a job in any desirable coastal state in America (CA, NY, MA has been her focus). She's a Harvard grad and turned down med school to go the NP route to have a family and flexibility.

I do agree with you that it is possible to find a balance. I got the impression that the question was more about a possible fear, or missing out on the baby experience because medical school is a serious commitment. The reality is that it won't be easy. Can it be done? You bet! Can it be put on hold if she is worried about waiting to long for a baby? You bet! She has many options here, even to have the baby during medical school.

I am not sure who you were refering to about the bad advice, but if it was directed towards me I felt that I needed to throw out some questions to really think about. I have a couple close girl friends who are in their 30's who are having trouble with getting pregnant because they put their careers first, its a huge emotional toll especially if someone is sure they want to have a baby. Not everything turns out picture perfect and things need to be considered. I had to think about this with my husband, afterall I will be 38 when I am done (if I get in as planned). Think about all the options, talk to people who have experienced both sides of this and make the best decision for you and your family.

As far as the NP thing, you might be right. I only know how it is in the Midwest (Chicago area) and I know a few NP's who didn't have problems getting hired. I guess it depends on where you live.

Anyway, best of luck and again I am sure you will make the best decision.

 

[Yulduz82]

Thank you all for your replies! I really appreciate your input!
I guess I sound like one of those old-fashioned gals. And it is rather ironic, because up until about 2 years ago I was anything but traditional. I was convinced that nothing should stay on the way of a woman pursuing her career goal, that men and women should be equal, I was stubborn, I was a fighter.
But something has changed. I feel like I got tired of fighting the battle all alone. And mind me, I would be more ready to go into this medicine battle, if I felt the complete support of my other half, who would encourage me and said that "hey, it'll be fine, we'll do this together, we'll do it somehow."
But I'm not even married, and my boyfriend just left abroad to do his masters, and we kind of have to do our own things for now.
And I hear more and more from my friends, whose moms are doctors, that they actually advise their daughters NOT to go into medicine, because it is very time consuming and there will be no time left for the family.
And hell, I don't even know if I Can have babies...

God help me on this one............

 

[brdmadgrl82]

Thank you all for your replies! I really appreciate your input!
I guess I sound like one of those old-fashioned gals. And it is rather ironic, because up until about 2 years ago I was anything but traditional. I was convinced that nothing should stay on the way of a woman pursuing her career goal, that men and women should be equal, I was stubborn, I was a fighter.
But something has changed. I feel like I got tired of fighting the battle all alone. And mind me, I would be more ready to go into this medicine battle, if I felt the complete support of my other half, who would encourage me and said that "hey, it'll be fine, we'll do this together, we'll do it somehow."
But I'm not even married, and my boyfriend just left abroad to do his masters, and we kind of have to do our own things for now.
And I hear more and more from my friends, whose moms are doctors, that they actually advise their daughters NOT to go into medicine, because it is very time consuming and there will be no time left for the family.
And hell, I don't even know if I Can have babies...

God help me on this one............

I know how hard it can be if you don't feel you have that 100% support from the other half. I kept asking my husband so many times because I just needed that reasurrance. If your guy is busy doing his own thing and following his own dreams, why not follow yours? Ask yourself what you really truly want? What will make you happy? If you still do not feel sure about medicine why not try something else for now? If you can't imagine doing anything else but medicine, go for it!

I like this quote: "Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new." Einstein

Don't worry you are still young, I'm 28 too and only a post-bac lol!

 

[Yulduz82]

So, you are trying to say that you didn't contemplate all of these variables you mentioned while you were going through premed for 4+ years? It didn't even cross your mind that you wanted to populate the world more so than becoming a physician? I think you should quit, so they can give the spot to someone more deserving of becoming a health care provider. Go make babies and be merry.

I didn't do 4+ years of premed. All my prereqs are from the 2 years of Pharmacy that I did in another country. I relocated and had to start everything from scratch, i.e. learning English and getting my Bachelors. When I decided to apply to med school a year ago I felt like I was returning to complete the project I once had to leave behind. Now I am concerned it might be too late to do everything, and I will have to sacrifice having a big happy family for the sake of the medical career, or v.v.

 

[brdmadgrl82]

I didn't do 4+ years of premed. All my prereqs are from the 2 years of Pharmacy that I did in another country. I relocated and had to start everything from scratch, i.e. learning English and getting my Bachelors. When I decided to apply to med school a year ago I felt like I was returning to complete the project I once had to leave behind. Now I am concerned it might be too late to do everything, and I will have to sacrifice having a big happy family for the sake of the medical career, or v.v.

Now it is more clear. That is very hard to do. My family moved here from another country when I was 11yrs old, but it was easier for me to pick up the language since I attended school here most of my life. My dad had to start over though...he had to retake his examinations here for veterinary medicine while working two full time jobs. It might feel like it is too late to start over, but it is not! My dad did it in his 40's, you can do it at 28. In many other countries such as mine many people our age already have families and kids, here it is different...you can do school later and you fit right in. Again, best of luck on your decision.

 

[Yulduz82]

Hi, I'm 28 and a currently a post-bac. I will not be applying until I am 30. My husband and I thought long and hard about this...we both understand the risk of not having children and we are ok with it if we don't because of how important it is for me to commit my life to others. I have discussed this with physicians who have families...many don't get to spend much time watching their child grow up. They miss all the cute things like first day of school, and other because they are on call. I have talked to some who make it work...there are always family vacations once you are practicing and there will be some time off to play catch up with your kid. I should also mention they have babysitters. are you prepared to have a babysitter when needed? are you going to be ok with the child calling your babysitter mommy? (heard stories about that one too). I also suggest researching more about this before you make this decision. It is possible to have a child, but it is more difficult to raise that child the way you want because you will always have to rely on others for help with the childcare. Can your husband stay at home full time once you do have a child? I am just posting these questions to give you something to think about. I'm sure you will make the best decision once you really think about this. If family is this important to you why not put med school on hold? You got the stats to get in again later (maybe when the child starts pre-school full time?). First couple years go by fast. I might sound like I know from experience, however, I don't have children but I have alot of nephews, nieces, friends with babies already, and I have worked as a sitter for a few families.

Thanks for your reply, brdmadgrl82!

This is exactly my fear: that I will miss all the cute and precious moments in my kids' lives, like the first steps and the first words, because I was attending to other people's well being. Well, what about the well being of my own family? And I definitely do want one.
It's very easy for me to answer your questions it is not so easy to let go of the idea of becoming a doc.

 

[Yulduz82]

Now it is more clear. That is very hard to do. My family moved here from another country when I was 11yrs old, but it was easier for me to pick up the language since I attended school here most of my life. My dad had to start over though...he had to retake his examinations here for veterinary medicine while working two full time jobs. It might feel like it is too late to start over, but it is not! My dad did it in his 40's, you can do it at 28. In many other countries such as mine many people our age already have families and kids, here it is different...you can do school later and you fit right in. Again, best of luck on your decision.

Exactly And now I'm looking at all my former classmates who have alredy finished pharm school and now seem to be ahead of me in life. Almost all of them have families, professional careers and travel around the world. And where am I? Still deciding what to do with my life.
But that's a whole different discussion... I actually got over it already. I'm going my own way, and that's ok. Not everyone who wonders is lost.

Thanks for sharing your story! Your father's persistence is most inspiring!

 

[TriagePreMed]

The terrible advice I gave her is contingent on the fact that she wants to have kids now. It's glaring that she does. My advice is not based on economics or other material things. Women's age and preparedness does play a gigantic role on parenting.

NPs might have a heard time finding certain jobs. Lawyers, Engineers, Architects, etc. are having a hard time for their careers as well. Does that mean they should not go for it?

Wow... I don't know how I didn't see this thread, but there is some terrible advice in it.

I'm not sure where you are located, but go to your local medical school and hospital and talk to some folks about their life. You'll notice they all have lives (unlike some folks on sdn).

At 28, you are at the right age to go to medical school now. You will graduate at 32 and with a 3 yr residency you'll be 35 and a practicing physician, which will be great. My advice would be to differ having kids until you are at least a 2nd yr resident (there is no prize for having a kid at 28 vs 34). You'll have a substantially greater income and be better able to support the family.

If you have been reading about the grueling nature of medical school and residency on SDN it is HIGHLY overexaggurated. My gf (now an M3) says that for the first two years you basically have a regular 9-5 jobs with some HW. If you do some searches on here for the least amount of work to get through medical school there are folks that studied 2-3 hrs a day and graduated (albeit, not at the top of their class, but what do you call the person that graduates last in their medical school class? Yup, doctor). Rotations vary (surgery rotation can be 12-16 hrs a day... all other rotations are easier). Residency depends on the field.

Given your needs, I agree with your family doctor that you should look in specialities with lower workloads (primary care oriented). These doctors are NEVER on call and don't really work much. Some work from 10 am - 3 pm. Yes, that's it, 5 days a weeks and never on weekends. That's pretty good imho (there is someone on here who had a husband that was at home by 4 p.m. every day). Of course you aren't making the same as a neurosurgeon, but you'll be living comfortably.

Regarding an MBA, if you want details PM. It's only worth going to the Top 20 schools. You don't need connections to get in (I know plenty of folks that have gotten in without any). What you do need is a high GMAT and great ECs. A friend of mine even was able to get into Wharton (UPenn) for her MBA after working as a stand-up comedian (http://www.funnybrowngirl.com/). I was accepted, but chose not to attend the MBA program at Georgetown (again, with absolutely no connections). That said, I wouldn't recommend this path over medicine. To make money with an MBA you need to be prepared to fly all time time (as a consultant or in sales... and we're talking 500,000+ miles per year) or work 20 hour days (investment banking or upper management) and as you rise the corporate ladder it only gets worse.

Finally, I disagree with the NP suggestion. It's becoming fairly hard to get entry-level NP positions. There have been so many direct-entry programs coming up that most entry level NPs are starting to have to go to remote locations to get training. My sister-in-laws sister, who is a newly minted NP, can't find a job in any desirable coastal state in America (CA, NY, MA has been her focus). She's a Harvard grad and turned down med school to go the NP route to have a family and flexibility.

 

[Yulduz82]

99% of other women are going to tell you to go forward with your dreams to hell with your family. I'm the 1% who thinks it's a bad idea. Sequencing is important, and life flows easier because of it.

If you had already started a family, you would better understand the demands of young children (I don't mean physical demands- I mean their emotional growth and development that are served by your presence) and weigh that against taking night classes, etc. You'd be able to juggle it out. Not knowing what you don't know (I mean that respectfully) you are putting yourself into a forced position where your children will come second. There's no way you are about to walk away with all that student loan debt once you get pregnant- especially if you have yet to start residency. You'll be so far upside down that you'll be one of those women who "have to" work. That's a hard position to be in when you don't want to be. Of course, maybe you won't mind it- and that's none of my business.

I have 4 children, and I'm going to be brutally honest. I had my first son young in my prior career. I was only 2 years out of school and I landed my dream job. I was 2 years into my dream job when I got married/pregnant. I worked up until delivery and planned a very short maternity leave. *after all, I didn't even like kids, I wasn't 100% sure I'd like my own.
3 weeks back to work my grandmother (babysitter) said "oh you should have seen what he did today- it was so cute" and like a ton of bricks I realized that I would never see any of those things- unless they happened after 6pm or on weekends. I quit my job the next day. That was 16 years ago. I have no regrets. I do have 4 amazing children- which I proudly raised.
When I start med school xf 3 of my 4 will be teens and my youngest will be 9. My youngest, as a result, will be getting short changed. It's a fact. Will he need therapy? No, but if I could stop the clock and wait until he was closer to 15 I would.
I know that telling you my story doesn't mean it will be similar to your story, and we each get to make our own way in this world- our own decisions. But, I think your concern is valid. I think that to balance some of the links shared in this thread, you might want to do a google scholar search for studies about early childhood development and the impact of daycare vs stay at home moms. It's a choice. It's your choice. But, I think it should be "either - or" not "balanced" because balance is a myth working mothers tell people to justify working.

Thanks for sharing your experience, CookDeRosa!
I absolutely agree with you. I definitely don't want to miss the important moments in my future kids' lives. If I will have to miss my daughter's piano recital or my son's soccer final, god will it kill me. I remember how I had to travel to my dance competition with our dance instructor, and neither of my parents was in the audience to watch us win. I wouldn't want this to happen to my kids.
And I have to believe you about reaching a balance being a myth. I just hear about so my examples that there is very little time left outside of work.
I often wish I already had kids, and it would be easier because I would be kind of "done" in this department. But I'm sure I just don't realize how much work it takes to take care of the kids, and that it actually would be more difficult to start school while being a mom.

 

[mspeedwagon]

I wasn't specifically targeting you, but I think we are in agreement. The OP is not married, her bf is abroad and in all honesty rushing to have kids right now seems like a bad decision. It doesn't sound like her bf is committed to the idea of kids and putting family first (I could be wrong, but going to pursue a masters degree abroad is generally not the behavior from somebody with such intentions. It also doesn't sound like he's supportive, but that's a whole other problem.

It's much harder to have kids after 35 (I have a few friends in that age range). Hence, why I suggested during her 2nd year of residency and at an age under 35.

As for the NP market it is great for experienced NPs. Entry level NPs is another story altogether.

I am not sure who you were refering to about the bad advice, but if it was directed towards me I felt that I needed to throw out some questions to really think about. I have a couple close girl friends who are in their 30's who are having trouble with getting pregnant because they put their careers first, its a huge emotional toll especially if someone is sure they want to have a baby. Not everything turns out picture perfect and things need to be considered. I had to think about this with my husband, afterall I will be 38 when I am done (if I get in as planned). Think about all the options, talk to people who have experienced both sides of this and make the best decision for you and your family.

As far as the NP thing, you might be right. I only know how it is in the Midwest (Chicago area) and I know a few NP's who didn't have problems getting hired. I guess it depends on where you live.

Anyway, best of luck and again I am sure you will make the best decision.

Again, I wasn't try to single out any one for giving bad advice, but she wants a baby with no husband and no one to support the family financially. I want a mansion in Malibu. We all want things, but it's glaring that she is not yet established. As such, now is a great time for her to pursue medicine.

The one thing engineer, lawyer and architect all have in common is more education. If she's willing to do more school, then she might as well do to medical school seeing that she is already admitted and has a desire to pursue medicine.

The terrible advice I gave her is contingent on the fact that she wants to have kids now. It's glaring that she does. My advice is not based on economics or other material things. Women's age and preparedness does play a gigantic role on parenting.

NPs might have a heard time finding certain jobs. Lawyers, Engineers, Architects, etc. are having a hard time for their careers as well. Does that mean they should not go for it?

 

[Yulduz82]

I always say this to my friends: You can't spell "*******" without "mba." Seriously, the MBA degree is the most bull**** of all. Unless you have connections, you will not get into a top program. The second tier and lower programs are useless for those seeking a job. The people that get them usually are in the corporate world and have a boss forcing them to get it or otherwise they can't escalate the corporate ladder.

If you already have a husband and both of you are ready to have children, I would say you just give up on med school. You seem to be one of those rare gems out there that values families and realizes that at the end of the day a job is a job, while a family is the most important thing there is. Just because the feminist revolution has given you the opportunity to go after all your dreams, it doesn't mean you can't choose your dreams to be your family.

Also, it seems you want to do primary care. You should consider becoming a nurse practitioner. I know some nurse practitioners at work. They do the same exact job as the primary care doctors, except they don't have to deal with liability insurance.

I must admit that this might be in part what I am trying to do: to impress everybody, because "just being a mom is no longer good enough". And I put quotation marks there because it IS a stereotype, and being a great mom is one of the hardest jobs there is. It takes a lot of brains and intelligence to raise healthy (physically and emotionally) kids.
Maybe I'm just worried that settling for something less ambitious than med school and making the family a priority and not pursuing a cool career will make people think I can't do it. Which I can! Or it will make them say something like "such a pity, such a bright girl, she could've done so much, and look at her, gave up med school, sitting with 3 kids now..."
And I know what your response to that will be. Gee, who cares what people think?! Just hang out with those who think like you, you can't please everybody. Yes, I agree, but I also have ambitions, and I too want to have a successful career where I can self realize fully.
Maybe those who suggest to wait with med school until after the kids are right.....
I'm not delusional, and I do realize that it is a serious symptom if I already have such doubts. This is why I'm here, asking you guys.

 

[Yulduz82]

mspeedwagon, you are right, I am not ready to have kids per se and right now. Will definitely need to get married first. (and my boyfriend doesn't seem to be entirely ready for it for sure.) But I am just worried that should I commit to med school, I will definitely exclude that possibility because of the workload, AND, as you correctly mentioned, because I will already be 35 or older when I finish. (considering that my idea of having a family includes spending a lot of time with them.)
I just worry that if opportunity comes, I will not be able to devote enough time to the family, and I don't want that.

I wasn't specifically targeting you, but I think we are in agreement. The OP is not married, her bf is abroad and in all honesty rushing to have kids right now seems like a bad decision. It doesn't sound like her bf is committed to the idea of kids and putting family first (I could be wrong, but going to pursue a masters degree abroad is generally not the behavior from somebody with such intentions. It also doesn't sound like he's supportive, but that's a whole other problem.

It's much harder to have kids after 35 (I have a few friends in that age range). Hence, why I suggested during her 2nd year of residency and at an age under 35.

As for the NP market it is great for experienced NPs. Entry level NPs is another story altogether.



Again, I wasn't try to single out any one for giving bad advice, but she wants a baby with no husband and no one to support the family financially. I want a mansion in Malibu. We all want things, but it's glaring that she is not yet established. As such, now is a great time for her to pursue medicine.

The one thing engineer, lawyer and architect all have in common is more education. If she's willing to do more school, then she might as well do to medical school seeing that she is already admitted and has a desire to pursue medicine.

 

[mspeedwagon]

In the long-run you'll be able to devote MORE time to family as a physician than in any other job. Part-time jobs in medicine pay very well and are abundant.

Obviously this is your life to live, but after 18 yrs when your kid(s) are all grown up, you'll always live with the regret "I had so much potential and could have become a doctor." I can't tell you how many times I've heard my mom say this. I'm one of 5 and my mom was a stay at home mom.

mspeedwagon, you are right, I am not ready to have kids per se and right now. Will definitely need to get married first. (and my boyfriend doesn't seem to be entirely ready for it for sure.) But I am just worried that should I commit to med school, I will definitely exclude that possibility because of the workload, AND, as you correctly mentioned, because I will already be 35 or older when I finish. (considering that my idea of having a family includes spending a lot of time with them.)
I just worry that if opportunity comes, I will not be able to devote enough time to the family, and I don't want that.

 

[Yulduz82]

.

 

[TriagePreMed]

Here's harsh old me telling you that I don't think you should do med school because I don't think you're prepared for it. You reek of insecurity. Based on all you've said here, it seems you're most concerned with what's "lady-like" and pleasing others. It doesn't seem like a true genuine interest on your part. You seem like the perfect candidate to regret your life decisions both ways you make them.

That's all I'm going to say though. I should refrain from making assumptions of character, so I apologize if I have offended you. My intention is to say it to you because that way you'll never be able to say nobody did.

I must admit that this might be in part what I am trying to do: to impress everybody, because "just being a mom is no longer good enough". And I put quotation marks there because it IS a stereotype, and being a great mom is one of the hardest jobs there is. It takes a lot of brains and intelligence to raise healthy (physically and emotionally) kids.
Maybe I'm just worried that settling for something less ambitious than med school and making the family a priority and not pursuing a cool career will make people think I can't do it. Which I can! Or it will make them say something like "such a pity, such a bright girl, she could've done so much, and look at her, gave up med school, sitting with 3 kids now..."
And I know what your response to that will be. Gee, who cares what people think?! Just hang out with those who think like you, you can't please everybody. Yes, I agree, but I also have ambitions, and I too want to have a successful career where I can self realize fully.
Maybe those who suggest to wait with med school until after the kids are right.....
I'm not delusional, and I do realize that it is a serious symptom if I already have such doubts. This is why I'm here, asking you guys.

 

[Yulduz82]

Here's harsh old me telling you that I don't think you should do med school because I don't think you're prepared for it. You reek of insecurity. Based on all you've said here, it seems you're most concerned with what's "lady-like" and pleasing others. It doesn't seem like a true genuine interest on your part. You seem like the perfect candidate to regret your life decisions both ways you make them.

That's all I'm going to say though. I should refrain from making assumptions of character, so I apologize if I have offended you. My intention is to say it to you because that way you'll never be able to say nobody did.

That's fine, every opinion counts. But "perfect candidate to regret your life decisions both ways you make them"? Really? That's optimistic....

 

[mspeedwagon]

LMFAO!!! I think this made my night. I'm off to take a shower and study for my molecular biology exam now.

That's fine, every opinion counts. But "perfect candidate to regret your life decisions both ways you make them"? Really? That's optimistic....

 

[brdmadgrl82]

After reading the other posts here is what it sounds like to me (my friends say when I say it this way I sound like a therapist- must be my psych background, lol).

From what it sounds like to me you don't want to give up on medicine/career. Only you know the reasons of why you chose medicine. It also sounds like you value family and it is something that will always be number one in your life. We can also see that your boyfriend is currently not thinking about babies, did you have this talk? When is he going to be finished with school?

Your options as I see them are:

Go to medical school! Again think about reasons you want this.

You will also have to become comfortable with the fact that others will be negative, they will think that you didn't do enough, or will be jelous...It is hard not to take things personally/to heart from others but its about YOU and YOUR FAMILY, not them.

Another option, figure out with your boyfriend a time frame for marriage, babies...speak openly about this to each other. You can always start medical school and take a year off during (I know a med student in year 5!). Schools don't like this, don't tell them, but they will help you once you are in.

You can also start making babies and a family and take a break until for example pre-school...then you can always go to med school once you are good and ready and 100% sure you want it!

I know it is a difficult decision with alot of factors, especially all those student loans you might be paying off for another 5-10yrs after you finish! I have a physician friend they are still living renting a place and he is still paying student loans.

There are alot of sacrafices on both ends...you and your partner will have to make the decision together...think also in terms of what would happen if the family unit fell apart (e.g. divorce) would you be able to support yourself and your children? How supportive is your family? Did anyone move here with you from your country? My parents went through a divorce and my mother gave up a dream job of being a chemist in my home country to come here and raise the kids while my dad worked on his career, but their marriage failed...she regreted this decision.

Again, do what will make you happy...if its doing another degree like NP or whatever FIRST just to have a career, by all means go for it (less student loans for sure). You don't have to give up med school dream, but you can always put it on hold if you are not ready financially, emotionally, ect...

Again, best of luck...

 

[brdmadgrl82]

LMFAO!!! I think this made my night. I'm off to take a shower and study for my molecular biology exam now.

yes, I laughed at that one as well ...off to shower, apply hydrocortisone to my bug bites and ek verbal reasoning time.

 

[mspeedwagon]

Two quick points.

1) In my experience, all stay at home moms live to regret this decision. They all wish they had a career and had done something with their lives. Kids grow up, kids leave and what do you have left for yourself for all the hard work?

2) Not all NP programs are cheaper than medical school. LECOM has a 3 yr medical school option that is fairly reasonable (you have to commit to primary care though). There are also many scholarships for those interested in rural medicine that'll pay off your loans (competitive and you have to live in a rural area, but may well be worth it). It doesn't sound like cost is a huge consideration for you though so much as having time to raise kids.

My parents went through a divorce and my mother gave up a dream job of being a chemist in my home country to come here and raise the kids while my dad worked on his career, but their marriage failed...she regreted this decision.


Again, do what will make you happy...if its doing another degree like NP or whatever FIRST just to have a career, by all means go for it (less student loans for sure). You don't have to give up med school dream, but you can always put it on hold if you are not ready financially, emotionally, ect...

Again, best of luck...

 

[sideways]

In my experience, all stay at home moms live to regret this decision. They all wish they had a career and had done something with their lives. Kids grow up, kids leave and what do you have left for yourself for all the hard work?

A happy kid?

 

[Dr. Saturn]

It is discouraging to read "am I too old for med school" with a bunch of people questioning if they are too old at 28. I am 40. Supposedly I am not "too old," but I traded a few emails with an AMCAS statistician who told me I was in the 99th percentile for being older than 37. My application is strong, and a 47 year old got in somewhere last year. There are a few in their 40s at OHSU (I live in Portand). The biggest hurdle I think I have is that I can only apply to OHSU. My twins girls are starting high school and my husband works for Intel. I can't just pack up and leave for 4 years.

Anyone else out there tied into one school because of family constraints?

Personally, I am thrilled I have had my kids already. That was the hardest thing I have ever done, hands down. If I can get into med. school, I know I can manage.


I was in the operating room watching Dr. Evelyn Burger of U of Colorado perform a 12 hour scoliosis surgery last year. At one point a resident asked her what was the hardest job she had ever had. Without pausing she said "motherhood." Thank you Dr. Burger for acknowledging the trials and struggles of being a mom. They are not trivial.

 

[Crelal]

I guess I will jump in with my opinion that IF, (and this is a big IF from the skimming of the thread I have done) if you were ready to have children with your current partner, that it is not beyond fantasy to be able to have children and be in medical school.

We have ~12 parents in our current class, and a baby/month due over the next 5-6 months that is public knowledge at this point. There may be more I am as of yet unaware of.

There is a flip-side to the view of motherhood that was presented. It is someone who is simply not happy as a stay at home mother. Right or wrong, one or the other "fits" with an individual once they have children, and as it was noted, you do not know who you are until you ARE a parent.

I love my children dearly, but I would make a horrible stay at home mother. I love that I can go to class and study while my children are interacting with other children their age and involved in fun activities (some of which I couldn't have thought of if trying for hours on end). I would not be happy at home full-time, and in that case my children would suffer for me being at home.

And, just for the record, my children have never called their babysitter/day care provider mommy, or mama, as they call me. At least not in my presence- and if they have when I am not around, how horrible is that? They feel secure and happy with that individual. And that does not make me a horrible mother, by any stretch.

That being said, I have friends who are very torn about being in class/studying. Again, the issue with motherhood is you cannot possibly know how it will affect you until you are there. You can have a feeling (I thought I would love staying at home) and experience of others, but at the end of the day, you do not know.

Beyond the child issue, you do not sound as if you are that interested in medicine, but rather what looks best and "lady-like". But you have been accepted, which leads me to believe there is a passion for medicine that is simply not coming through.

So...
1) you need to figure out how badly you want both family and medicine. Your current partner sounds uncommitted, so it may be a few years before you find someone capable of settling down with in that sense.

If you are committed to medicine, go for it. There are specialties that are easier in terms of hours/call/etc. There is obviously more competition for those slots, but it's not unreachable.

2) think through your issues of insecurity you brought up- what others think (the first thing you will have to drop as a mother, whether stay-at-home or 80-hour/week career mother)

3) get additional information about specialties- from individuals other than those posting here! SDN is super-skewed, and does not represent reality in a lot of cases. Shadow areas of interest and get a feel for what is interesting to you...

Good luck, whatever you decide. It is ultimately about you, and while the advice of others is sometimes a good thing to solicit, the decision is yours. After all, you have to live with it.

 

[Crelal]

A happy kid?

I think mspeedwagon brings up an important issue- my mother was a stay-at-home mom for our entire childhood. She really wishes she had pursued some of her interests in addition to taking care of us. I remember many times when I was young that she was checked out emotionally- not neglectful, just obviously wished she was doing something else.

And that can arguably be just as painful as a missed sporting or school event.

So again, there are some women who are excellent sah moms, and there are some who would not be happy. Just another day in the mommy wars.

 

[Dr. Saturn]

That is sooooo true. I was not cut out for being a Stay at Home mom, but I did it for 12 years. Now that I am back in school, all is well, and it is water under the bridge, but I had so much guilt and regret all that time. Don't make that mistake if you want to go to school. Kids are tough, and no matter which route we take, they benefit in some way. Mine are now getting the example of a mom who studies with them and works hard. That is good too!

 

[Pons Asinorum]

Anyone else out there tied into one school because of family constraints?

I'll bite. Yes, but not one school. I'm tied to the LA area for a number of reasons, which isn't that bad due to there being a couple of great schools here. The downside being that the schools here are overrun with strong applicants. My numbers/ec's/etc. are more than competitive, but it's still an uphill climb. If it doesn't work out, the net gets cast wider next cycle.

 

[TriagePreMed]

The one thing engineer, lawyer and architect all have in common is more education. If she's willing to do more school, then she might as well do to medical school seeing that she is already admitted and has a desire to pursue medicine.

Are you trying to say that NP schooling will be as equally time committing as medical school?

1) In my experience, all stay at home moms live to regret this decision. They all wish they had a career and had done something with their lives. Kids grow up, kids leave and what do you have left for yourself for all the hard work?

My mom was stay at home and didn't regret it.

You also act like she can't do anything with her life without medical school. She's already a college graduate that can pursue a variety of interests. She already stated desire for the business world.

 

[mspeedwagon]

No, but it's still more school. As such there still needs to be a balance between school life and family life. Also, as I've said earlier, the market for newly minted NPs is pretty poor at the moment (it's great for those with experience). Medical school, while hard, is not impossible (if it were, there wouldn't be so many medical school graduates each year).

Also, have you directly asked your mom if she hadn't been a stay at home mom what career she would have liked to pursue? Also ask her if she felt should could pursue it today, would she like to? I think you may be surprised. Also, I don't know if you have younger siblings that are still at home or if your folks are retired. My mom had always said she loved being a stay at home mom until my dad retired and the kids were long gone and now all her comments are about how she wishes she had a career.

Unfortunately, virtually every one is a college graduate these days and our society no longer values a BA/BS degree. It is equal having said you were a high school graduate a few decades ago.

Are you trying to say that NP schooling will be as equally time committing as medical school?

My mom was stay at home and didn't regret it.

You also act like she can't do anything with her life without medical school. She's already a college graduate that can pursue a variety of interests. She already stated desire for the business world.

 

[TriagePreMed]

Yes, I have asked my mom. While she says she would like to have some kind of career, she doesn't regret that she put it aside.

There are a lot of college graduates, but it is still only 1 in every 4 folks. Due to the economy, the college degree seems much worse, but once the economy gets better and the OP has some work experience under her belt, she will have greater job mobility and opportunities than the 3/4 of Americans that will still have no college degrees.

No, but it's still more school. As such there still needs to be a balance between school life and family life. Also, as I've said earlier, the market for newly minted NPs is pretty poor at the moment (it's great for those with experience). Medical school, while hard, is not impossible (if it were, there wouldn't be so many medical school graduates each year).

Also, have you directly asked your mom if she hadn't been a stay at home mom what career she would have liked to pursue? Also ask her if she felt should could pursue it today, would she like to? I think you may be surprised. Also, I don't know if you have younger siblings that are still at home or if your folks are retired. My mom had always said she loved being a stay at home mom until my dad retired and the kids were long gone and now all her comments are about how she wishes she had a career.

Unfortunately, virtually every one is a college graduate these days and our society no longer values a BA/BS degree. It is equal having said you were a high school graduate a few decades ago.

 

[Don Draper]

 

[CookDeRosa]

In the long-run you'll be able to devote MORE time to family as a physician than in any other job. Part-time jobs in medicine pay very well and are abundant.

Obviously this is your life to live, but after 18 yrs when your kid(s) are all grown up, you'll always live with the regret "I had so much potential and could have become a doctor." I can't tell you how many times I've heard my mom say this. I'm one of 5 and my mom was a stay at home mom.

>>


That's unfortunate that your mother would say that out-loud. However, raising children instead of having a career is very fulfilling for many people- I think it's reasonable to have hobbies/jobs/volunteer work/etc too. Being a stay at home mom doesn't mean you have to stay AT HOME LOL. Besides, when the kids start school- there isn't any reason to sit and twiddle your thumbs for 7 hours. I'm a stay at home mom, but I've continued to work 1 day per week in my field the whole time in addition to doing a lot of volunteer work, you certainly don't have to be sitting on the floor playing blocks and cleaning toilets all day. I'm a driven person, so that's just my personality, but I always felt that it was worth it. (it is/was)

I have to ask though, why, when one's children turn 18, is it time to pack away our lives and plop down into a rocker under an afghan? In my case, when my children are 18 and all grown up, I'm going to med school I'm turning 40 this month, and my life is FAR from over- I have at least another 25 years before I can even qualify for retirement!?!?

To the OP: your eggs, of course, will be gone one day and your children grow up no matter what you are doing. However, you have the rest of your life to be someone's employee. It is a matter of maturity when you know yourself and what YOU are capable of. Do either path, but do it well.

 

[brdmadgrl82]

post above said it best

 

[mspeedwagon]

I think there might be a difference here in that you are NOT a career stay at home mom (clearly with going to med school that would eliminate that).

Remember I'm one of 5 and that youngest to oldest we are 14 years apart. My mom was in her mid-50s by the time I turned 18 (I'm the youngest). Also, she doesn't have a college degree so starting from scratch in your mid-50s to pursue medicine is pretty unrealistic.

If the OP were to have a kid now she'd be almost 50 (and that's a big IF) when her kid turned 18.

I FULLY AGREE with you when you say do either BUT DO IT WELL. In the long run what's most important is happiness and to live with no regrets. Do either and it will is probably the best summary.

 

[dancingdoctor13]

Have you thought about PA school as well? That's an option for many gals as well. Heard it pays quite nicely, but obviously you won't have the DR title, if that is important to you. I have heard that new grad PAs have an easier time getting jobs then direct entry graduates of NP programs.

 

[katiemaude]

I hesitated to jump into the fray because there are parents in medical school who have already responded to your post, so I will just speak from my own experience as a single, 32-year-old woman who is also premed.

There are no guarantees in life. I learned the hard way. There is no guarantee your boyfriend will become your husband (yes, even with a ring and a wedding date). There is no guarantee you will be able to have children or adopt. There is no guarantee you will get into medical school or graduate from medical school.

The best you can do is make your decisions based on what you know for certain *right now*. You can factor in your dreams, but don't make decisions based on theory. If you love medicine and you want to be a doctor, keep forging ahead. If the boyfriend is meant to be your husband and you're meant to be parents, cross that bridge when you come to it.

If your primary goal in life is to be a stay-at-home mom for several years or for their entire childhood (notice I didn't say just "mom" - lots of great moms work), then you are better off not pursuing any graduate study that will put you into mountains of debt and prevent you from taking those years out of the workforce. School debt does hinder people's dreams. If you're not sure you can or want to keep working for at least a decade, but probably more, then you are never going to pay it off barring an inheritance or lottery win. It doesn't matter if this debt comes from medical school or business school.

If you can find a graduate program that puts you into a field you love without taking on the debt, then you have it made.

I'm not touching on the "can a doctor also be a good mom?" notion because there are too many variables - specialty, hours you choose to work, kids personalities, help at home, etc.

 

[LingoLaine]

Anyone else out there tied into one school because of family constraints?

Yup, that would be me. Puttin' all my eggs in the Colorado basket.

 

[EdLongshanks]

I am under the impression that being a doctor can involve many different choices and many different lifestyles. I know that, as students and pre-meds, we are focused on the single goal of getting into and graduating medical school, but let's not forget that after graduating there are hundreds of choices to make about our lives. All doctors don't work the same hours, have the same responsibilities, or live on-call the same way.

 

[hello3angel]

Exactly.

I am under the impression that being a doctor can involve many different choices and many different lifestyles. I know that, as students and pre-meds, we are focused on the single goal of getting into and graduating medical school, but let's not forget that after graduating there are hundreds of choices to make about our lives. All doctors don't work the same hours, have the same responsibilities, or live on-call the same way.