Am I wasting my time with this dream?

[midwesternguy]

hey medmom-

i don't know if this was already covered, but several med schools have "part time" programs for people in situations similar to yours. A woman who lives next door to my parents (in Wisconsin) just finished her residency, and she is a 36 year old mother of 3. I don't know exactly how the program works but it's definitely something to look in to- I believe the first two pre-clinical years are completed over four years rather than two. If you're dedicated enough, I'm sure you will be able to make it happen. Good luck.

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[janis]

I feel somewhat compelled to add my two cents to this thread since I have seen this situation often. I have been married to my doctor husband for 34 years. We were married in college and so have been together through college, graduate school, medical school, a seven year residency and now almost 20 years in practise.

There are many great women doctors and they add a great deal to the profession. Personally I think that women make much better Ob/Gyns since they understand giving birth, etc.
Here are a few observations from my own experience:
a. Of the women physicians that I know or know about, more than half never practised after residency. Those that did, have a husband who takes on what is traditionally considered the woman's role. This often works very, very well but I have seen cases where it has lead to divorce.
b. The women who are in medical school or residency and have children usually have a full time nanny or household person. Sometimes they even have more than one. I would say that this is a necessity.
c. In the case of a woman doctor married to a male doctor, there is usually some trouble about who will do more of the household stuff and child care. This situation can also lead to some difficulties in a group practise (or resentment during residency) where they are sometimes unable to take on a full work load.
d. I have also seen some women (doctors, dentists and other professionals) feel like they are missing out on raising their children. Frequently they will temporarily or permanently stop working in order to stay home.

Here are my observations as to what works:
a. Woman doctors married to very supportive NON doctor persons. If the NON doctor person really respects the enourmous amount of time involved and will take care of most of the household responsibilities without resenting it; the marriage seems to prosper. (I have seen this work very well a number of times, with or without children )
b. Women doctors who choose not to have children.
c. Women doctors who manage to find a part-time practise and are able to successfully find very reliable household help.

Hope this is helpful.

 

[momto5]

I wanted to post to offer some support. I also had my first child in high school, and had my twins (#3 and 4) at 21 and my 5th at 23. I have a wonderful husband who is very supportive in everything (we have been married almost 13 years)! I am a stay-at-home, homeschooling mom by day and a pre-med student by night My kids are older, though, 6-12. I often think that if I had gone to college before I knew what I wanted to do that I wouldn't have done as well. Just remember, you have time, you are young! I know it is hard looking at the long road ahead to remember that. I am 29 with 2 more years of pre-med to go, and if it takes 3 years that is fine also. I also plan to take a year of before med-school. While I am in med school my dh will work from home and be more available for the kiddos. I wouldn't change anything in my life. I want to be a role model for my children. I am the first one in my family to get beyond an AA, I want my kids to see me passionate and willing to work hard to achieve a goal- but always while keeping them my top priority. It is possible to find a balance.
Good luck and God bless!

 

[hot hot heat]

I wonder if you would say these things to a man with 3 kids who was married to a woman who worked?

I dunno. If that situation comes up then I'll comment.