I started off general surgery for reasons I ultimately determined were wrong. I loved my M3 surgery rotation. Doing procedures, fast paced nature, Men's club attitude, ETC... Arranged M4 year with Trauma ICU, Surg ICU, CT Surg, Transplant, Sub I surg, Med ICU then all the easier rotations. By my MICU rotation I was teaching my PGY2 IM residents how to put in subclavian/IJ lines and chest tubes etc.. Loved bedside procedures.
Then during internship I found that taking out gallbladders was not so exciting. And one time post call after a particularly bad night, I found myself as the "intern retractor" after being awake for 38hours straight on a case that could have easily gone the next AM or have been turned over to the next team. This was pre 80 hour work week. lol we were more like 120 hour work week.
I decided that there was more to life than taking out gallbladders and being so into the Men's club that you dont have any kind of life outside work. (Not to mention being dangerous after being awake that long) So, I looked at several other specialties and in the end decided on Anesthesiology, for what I feel is finally the right reasons. I went into surgery b/c I liked procedures, critical patients, minute to minute changes and interventions that immediately affect the patient. I will get all that with Anesthesia and as a bonus I dont have to follow the patient (Unless I do a fellowship in pain or CC)
Now, I dont start my CA1 year until July but Ill never regret turning away from surgery. Through that time I hated who I was and what I was becoming, even though I was good at it. My PD and fellow residents all tried to talk me into reconsidering.
In the end you have to decide what you want out of life. And my decision was to have a job I enjoyed but not to be defined by it.