Anyone going to vet school with a partner/bf/gf?
Started by bluechis
Get help with your application
Use all the free resources available to you from SDN: articles, guides, expert advising, forums discussions, and school research.
I am!! I'm not too worried though, we've been together for 8 years so I think we can handle it. Does he want to move with you once you get accepted?
The gf moved with me for school and it's been pretty good so far. Not really any more stressful on our relationship than undergrad tbh. To be fair, we don't have kids or anything extra like that. You both just have to be willing to make compromises. He has to realize there are going to be weeks where you're locked in studying for finals and he'll barely see you. You have to realize that sometimes making him a priority over things that feel more pressing is going to make both of you healthier.
IMO a lot of the rumors about the relationship stress have to do with the length of vet school. A lot of things can happen over four years, including a lot of breakups that have nothing to do with school. I know in my class there are a ton of healthy relationships, including several engaged couples.
IMO a lot of the rumors about the relationship stress have to do with the length of vet school. A lot of things can happen over four years, including a lot of breakups that have nothing to do with school. I know in my class there are a ton of healthy relationships, including several engaged couples.
Advertisement - Members don't see this ad
Works for some couples, doesn't work for others. You shouldn't go in expecting things to fail but be realistic about the amount of time and stress school will be.
In my class experience, the most big relationship break downs actually came within the year or so after vet school.
In my class experience, the most big relationship break downs actually came within the year or so after vet school.
Bf will also be coming with me. I definitely think it'll be an adjustment for us. We've been together 4 almost 5 years when we'll move so not too worried but know it'll be an adjustment. He is definitely opposite of me when it comes to school he's much more relaxed about studying and not worrying about everything so that's a plus and a minus. On one hand he'll make me take breaks but on the other hand part of me worries he will want me to relax when I really need to study and that'll cause some tension. Plus he's planning to go into law enforcement so he'll be stressed and I'll be stressed but I'm sure once we get into a routine we'll be fine. We've been to all the schools I've applied to and he doesn't care where we go so that's a plus although he obviously has his preferences.
Sent from my HTCD160LVW using SDN mobile
Sent from my HTCD160LVW using SDN mobile
It feels like almost every guy in vet school comes in already in a relationship. -_-
I'm not sure if you mean you and your boyfriend will both be in vet school together, or if he's just moving with you when you go to vet school. Both can be tough, but I think the former would actually be nice - you will both be very busy, of course, but you can share your experiences, study together, and help each other with the material. I think you would just want to be careful to fit in some time where vet school and all related topics are off-limits so you can just enjoy each other's company.
If it's the latter, I've been on both sides of that situation. I met my husband in college and after graduation we moved to the west coast, away from everyone we knew, so he could attend law school. We were not yet married at the time and had been together for four years. There were times when it was very difficult because even though we lived together I barely saw him. He was incredibly busy and stressed. I found a job and worked while he was in school, but I didn't like the city we were in and struggled to make friends in a place so culturally different from my hometown. We survived it, though. It helped to set expectations with each other about what we could and couldn't do, and to view that period as temporary - an investment in our future.
Now I'm in vet school, he's working, and we are married with a small child. His job is very demanding, as is vet school, and we both commute a long way in opposite directions. I would say we get about 15-30 minutes per day (tops) where our child is in bed, we're not asleep, and we're both actually free to just hang out together. So, we do our best to make that time count. Again, we're honest about what we can and can't do. We respect each other's need for alone time to unwind. Do I still get frustrated and wish we had more time to be a couple? Of course. But again, this isn't forever - it's an investment in my career. And honestly, I would rather be in a position where we're both busy pursuing careers we love than how things were when he was so busy in law school and I was working 9-5 and sitting alone in our apartment after work.
So: it's not easy, but I think it's better when you're both able to stay busy and there's not a huge imbalance (ie one person always waiting around for a chance to see the other one and feeling resentful). Communication, trust, understanding - all key. If you truly see yourselves in it for the long haul, realize that vet school isn't forever. It's just an investment.
If it's the latter, I've been on both sides of that situation. I met my husband in college and after graduation we moved to the west coast, away from everyone we knew, so he could attend law school. We were not yet married at the time and had been together for four years. There were times when it was very difficult because even though we lived together I barely saw him. He was incredibly busy and stressed. I found a job and worked while he was in school, but I didn't like the city we were in and struggled to make friends in a place so culturally different from my hometown. We survived it, though. It helped to set expectations with each other about what we could and couldn't do, and to view that period as temporary - an investment in our future.
Now I'm in vet school, he's working, and we are married with a small child. His job is very demanding, as is vet school, and we both commute a long way in opposite directions. I would say we get about 15-30 minutes per day (tops) where our child is in bed, we're not asleep, and we're both actually free to just hang out together. So, we do our best to make that time count. Again, we're honest about what we can and can't do. We respect each other's need for alone time to unwind. Do I still get frustrated and wish we had more time to be a couple? Of course. But again, this isn't forever - it's an investment in my career. And honestly, I would rather be in a position where we're both busy pursuing careers we love than how things were when he was so busy in law school and I was working 9-5 and sitting alone in our apartment after work.
So: it's not easy, but I think it's better when you're both able to stay busy and there's not a huge imbalance (ie one person always waiting around for a chance to see the other one and feeling resentful). Communication, trust, understanding - all key. If you truly see yourselves in it for the long haul, realize that vet school isn't forever. It's just an investment.
Check out the Relationship Center thread! Relationship Center
I'm a second year, my fiance and I have been doing the long-distance thing so far. My first semester he was studying abroad in China, so that was difficult with the time difference, and cell/internet service was often unreliable for him, but we made it through just fine! It's so much easier now that he's only five hours away. We've been together five years so far, got engaged in February and are getting married next June, and then he'll be moving up here! It will be different having him here, but I'm really excited. He's really understanding about me needing to ignore him to study sometimes, and hopefully he'll be able to get a good job so he won't just be sitting at home waiting for me all the time.
As far as dating classmates, no one in my class came in with an SO in the class, but there are five couples within the class now, and as far as I know all are going strong! Personally I wouldn't date a classmate since it would be so awkward if you broke up, and I enjoy having someone to talk to about things that aren't vet school, but it works out really well for some people. Coming into vet school as a couple would be different, but I think as long as you're able to weather the transition well together it can definitely work out.
I'm a second year, my fiance and I have been doing the long-distance thing so far. My first semester he was studying abroad in China, so that was difficult with the time difference, and cell/internet service was often unreliable for him, but we made it through just fine! It's so much easier now that he's only five hours away. We've been together five years so far, got engaged in February and are getting married next June, and then he'll be moving up here! It will be different having him here, but I'm really excited. He's really understanding about me needing to ignore him to study sometimes, and hopefully he'll be able to get a good job so he won't just be sitting at home waiting for me all the time.
As far as dating classmates, no one in my class came in with an SO in the class, but there are five couples within the class now, and as far as I know all are going strong! Personally I wouldn't date a classmate since it would be so awkward if you broke up, and I enjoy having someone to talk to about things that aren't vet school, but it works out really well for some people. Coming into vet school as a couple would be different, but I think as long as you're able to weather the transition well together it can definitely work out.
I was married before I started, was married the whole way through, and am still married several years out. Any issues with your relationship will be magnified by the stress and lack of time while in school. Make sure you communicate well and often. Try and be considerate of each other. And be sure to make time for being a couple away from school and work and stuff.
Really, that's good advice for any relationship at any point, but it becomes extra important during school.
Really, that's good advice for any relationship at any point, but it becomes extra important during school.
Yep, hubby will be moving with me if/when I get in. He's stuck with me for life though, the sucker.
Sent from my SM-G920T using SDN mobile
Sent from my SM-G920T using SDN mobile
They’re either in a relationship or not seeking a relationship necessarily with women.
Reposting this to echo. So, so important!
My SO is 4+ hours away right now, so didn't move with me and not living with me, but definitely all the stressors you had in your relationship before vet school become magnified by a thousand during vet school. Thankfully I find myself in a very tolerant relationship where it's almost expected that I'll disappear for days on end while I'm drowning in classwork. Just make sure everyone stays in the loop and knows what's going on (this goes for really... anyone. Parents, roommates, whoever). When they know going in that the frequency of your mood swings, anxiety, and ghosting is all going to be inversely proportional to how close your next exam is, people feel a little less left in the dust.
I mean yeah, it can destroy your relationship. Like TT said, it will magnify any negative part of your life/relationship/etc. The best you can do is communicate with each other every step of the way and do your best to make time for the other person outside of school. If you aren't good communicators now, learn how to be.
We were together like 6 years when I started, went LDR, got married half way through and are now very happy campers. It can be done
Personally I just recommend being partnered with a saint. Worked for me.
Advertisement - Members don't see this ad
It took me a minute but now I can't stop laughing. Much needed giggles, thanks TT!
??
In my class multiple people came in and left with the same partners, some got new partners, some broke up, some married each other, some got divorced.
I came in with the same person I'm with now. 10 years and counting. Your mileage may vary.
I came in with the same person I'm with now. 10 years and counting. Your mileage may vary.
My class was a mix like Hyge's. Personally I came in with my fiance, got married in the middle of vet school and just graduated and am getting divorced now. Really anything could happen, it really depends on the people.
Yep, definitely had some people come in with a partner and get both married and divorced during vet school #nostress. Mad support to you, FB, that is really hard!
My wife and I have been together for 9 years, so planning to stay married through vet school if I get in this year ;-)
She might divorce me for moving her to MI lol
MICHIGAN IS BEAUTIFUL, YOU BE QUIET.
I like it quite a bit 🙂
Are saints allowed to marry?
This is 96.3% true.They’re either in a relationship or not seeking a relationship necessarily with women.
If you have questions about being in a relationship in vet school with someone from vet school (although we were dating prior) feel free to pm me and ask. Got engaged at end of first year, getting married at the end of third year (7 months from now)
Don't you have to be dead to be canonized???
you're mixing up priests and saints. big difference. 😉
yeah I mean how do you find a relationship? That’s been the hardest part. All of the guys all seem to find a way to escape from the cellar, should I increase security or what?
Remove the staircase duh
Advertisement - Members don't see this ad
I did that after the first couple escaped. Am I being too lenient?
Lock them in the attic instead. They need some daylight!
But what keeps them from breaking a window and jumping out?
Bars on the windows, duhhhh
I've been married for 15 years and I'm not changing that. Vet school will be hard and stressful on our relationship, but we've survived deployments in the military and him almost dying so we have some experience with stress. A good mentor (who also happens to be a vet) said that the goal is to make it through to the end of vet school without losing your family in the process. He was referencing balance and keeping things in perspective when school gets stressful.
And Michigan is AWESOME - especially the upper parts with all the tress. And the lakes. Don't forget all the lakes! 🙂
And Michigan is AWESOME - especially the upper parts with all the tress. And the lakes. Don't forget all the lakes! 🙂
paging @SkiOtter and @finnickthedog because something something lakes and Michigan
Excuse you, those are GREAT lakes.
You're never more than 6 miles from a body of water and 85 miles from one of the Great Lakes
EXCUSE ME but "All the lakes" = MINNESOTA not Michigan. Pfft. Noobs
I don't remember anyone asking you.
And what happened the last time Peter didn't believe Lucy? BAD THINGS THAT'S WHAT!
I don't even know what's going on here but MN is the land of 10,000 lakes and no one can take that from us
Alaska has three million! That makes them the best state, right? 😀
Look, lots of little lakes are nice but ours are just greater.
Advertisement - Members don't see this ad
But, three million.
But... largest freshwater lake in the world. Quality over quantity.
Minnesota has 11,842 lakes of 10 acres or more. The 1968 state survey found 15,291 lake basins, of which 3,257 were dry. If all basins over 2.5 acres were counted, Minnesota would have 21,871 lakes.
You wanna go?!
Michigan, Minnesota Lay Claim to Many Lakes | www.stignacenews.com | St. Ignace News
It's old, but seems relevant here.
Also relevant: "In total number of acres of water within a state boundary, Michigan will leave Minnesota far behind any old day."
Dude that's because half of what's within the state boundaries of Michigan are the Great Lakes, which just feels like cheating.
