Are New Anesthesia Attendings HENRYs or are we Just HENR

[abolt18]

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In residency we lived in a nice (~$200-300K homes) neighborhood, quiet, safe. But we were zoned into a title one school that was majority very low socioeconomic status. MANY of the kids coming from broken or single parent households or raised by their grandparents or aunt and uncle, and parents were often working multiple jobs to keep food on the table, so the kids received very little actual parenting. It was normal for many to stay up till 3am on their iPads then sleep through school. This is elementary age kids I'm talking about.

It was a phenomenal experience for my kids when they were young. They got to see and interact with people from many different walks of life and I think/hope it gave them some life perspective. However, there was zero academic rigor despite them all being involved in accelerated classes and by about the 4th grade we were ready to pull them to go private or even move for better schools (moved for a job anyway). Learning was secondary at that school. Just getting kids to come to school was their main goal!

Fast forward to post-training life. We live in a nice area. Our public schools are phenomenal and full of high achieving kids who have high achieving parents. It makes for excellent positive peer pressure! Despite this, you still get kids who are disruptive and behave in an unacceptable manner at school. My kids have elected to do as many accelerated classes as they can in middle school for the sole purpose of getting away from those kids. I always thought spending a ton of money on private school was idiotic, but as my kids have struggled, not academically, but because of idiots around them who haven't learned how to act in the real world, I could see the draw at last.

Also, disagree that bullying is not an issue today. It's just changed in our digital world. Lots of cruelty out there. It certainly helps to keep your kids off social media as long as possible to insulate them from it.

 

[PpfSuxTube]

FIFY

Someone needs a hug. Thanks for telling me where to spend my money. Next time I spend money on a new Jet ski, I will be sure to run it by you fifirst.

You didnt read the starting post of this thread did you?
No one cares what you spend your money on.
Some dude was on here asking for help cause hes getting smoked/wasting his money.

Were trying to help (maybe you don't like our way, thats probably fair. This thread has gone ott).

You seem to be encouraging him to spend more or something

 

[Gern Blansten]

Also, disagree that bullying is not an issue today. It's just changed in our digital world. Lots of cruelty out there. It certainly helps to keep your kids off social media as long as possible to insulate them from it.

Bullying used to mostly end at the end of the school day. Now, with digital and social media, it is frequently 24/7. I would not want to be a kid in today’s society. Bullying is still a big problem, it just frequently looks different than it used to.

 

[Hoya11]

In residency we lived in a nice (~$200-300K homes) neighborhood, quiet, safe. But we were zoned into a title one school that was majority very low socioeconomic status. MANY of the kids coming from broken or single parent households or raised by their grandparents or aunt and uncle, and parents were often working multiple jobs to keep food on the table, so the kids received very little actual parenting. It was normal for many to stay up till 3am on their iPads then sleep through school. This is elementary age kids I'm talking about.

It was a phenomenal experience for my kids when they were young. They got to see and interact with people from many different walks of life and I think/hope it gave them some life perspective. However, there was zero academic rigor despite them all being involved in accelerated classes and by about the 4th grade we were ready to pull them to go private or even move for better schools (moved for a job anyway). Learning was secondary at that school. Just getting kids to come to school was their main goal!

Fast forward to post-training life. We live in a nice area. Our public schools are phenomenal and full of high achieving kids who have high achieving parents. It makes for excellent positive peer pressure! Despite this, you still get kids who are disruptive and behave in an unacceptable manner at school. My kids have elected to do as many accelerated classes as they can in middle school for the sole purpose of getting away from those kids. I always thought spending a ton of money on private school was idiotic, but as my kids have struggled, not academically, but because of idiots around them who haven't learned how to act in the real world, I could see the draw at last.

Also, disagree that bullying is not an issue today. It's just changed in our digital world. Lots of cruelty out there. It certainly helps to keep your kids off social media as long as possible to insulate them from it.

i just dont know if a private school solves the problem of misbehaving, distracting kids - they're not all poor.

we have had plenty of those type of kids leave our great public school and go to local private schools after so many disciplinary actions against them in public school, they went right over to private school where they can pay their way into no consequences and parents can continue to ignore their bad behavior and then blame the public school. it takes a LOT to get kicked out of a private school and for that school to give up the revenue. way easier for mediocre students to get better (paid for) grades and discipline problems to be (paid to be) ignored

admittedly my perspective is from a VHCOL area and I do think in more rural areas, where taxes are very low and as a physician you are in the top 1-2% of earners, private school is probably the best option. There has already been some filtering at the public school level in these VHCOL areas and top school districts.. just by nature of cost of homes in town

around me private schools are a composed of "I had issues in public school"/"I live in a bad school district"/"My parents say Im going to harvard"/ "My family is deeply religious"/"My family member went here"

 

[aneftp]

the op has never chimed in why they purchased the home other than to keep up with the jones.

Deadly silent on the reason to purchase.

Zero answers to
1. Purchased home for closer commute?
2. Purchased home for school zone (one kid seems to be younger than age 2 so it definitely wasn’t for the school zone)?
3 purchase home to be closer to parents so they can help in a pinch ?

We all all trying to justify OPs original intent of the home purchase. Yet OP has been quiet on these questions.

We cannot speculate their reasons without these basic answers.

The OP has never answered these basic questions

I can tell u why I purchased my current home…the wife wanted it. It wasn’t due to the school district as it was 3 miles from our hold home. And same elementary and middle school. High school different but not a big factor

 

[Account1]

Bullying used to mostly end at the end of the school day. Now, with digital and social media, it is frequently 24/7. I would not want to be a kid in today’s society. Bullying is still a big problem, it just frequently looks different than it used to.

In our house there’s no social media until after high school. YMMV but I’m not worried about stunting their social lives by keeping them off smartphones.

Literally, the plot of the movie “8th grade” cannot happen without smart phones and social media

 

[aneftp]

In our house there’s no social media until after high school. YMMV but I’m not worried about stunting their social lives by keeping them off smartphones.

Literally, the plot of the movie “8th grade” cannot happen without smart phones and social media

Occasionally they will go wild in college. My second cousins were home school. Super religious rural area of Southwest Virginia. Usual church Christian conservative. Almost like Amish people living on the farm.

Once they got to uva and the frat and sorority scene in Charlottesville. Their body count likely up to 30 by end of their sophomore year. They were unleashed to the world. The 2 girls. The boy brother became a firefighter and all over social media these days flaunting his abdominals

So repression can sometimes have opposites effects as they go off into adulthood. Making up for lost social media time.

 

[finalpsychyear]

Occasionally they will go wild in college. My second cousins were home school. Super religious rural area of Southwest Virginia. Usual church Christian conservative. Almost like Amish people living on the farm.

Once they got to uva and the frat and sorority scene in Charlottesville. Their body count likely up to 30 by end of their sophomore year. They were unleashed to the world. The 2 girls. The boy brother became a firefighter and all over social media these days flaunting his abdominals

So repression can sometimes have opposites effects as they go off into adulthood. Making up for lost social media time.

balance is the key. If you dont allow social media for HS kids they would simply do it on a laptop. Putting away phones at a certain time like before dinner, events, and out of the bedroom is probably teaching more realistic balance going forward.

 

[Account1]

Occasionally they will go wild in college. My second cousins were home school. Super religious rural area of Southwest Virginia. Usual church Christian conservative. Almost like Amish people living on the farm.

Once they got to uva and the frat and sorority scene in Charlottesville. Their body count likely up to 30 by end of their sophomore year. They were unleashed to the world. The 2 girls. The boy brother became a firefighter and all over social media these days flaunting his abdominals

So repression can sometimes have opposites effects as they go off into adulthood. Making up for lost social media time.

I don’t consider nixing social media repression, but whatever they do after high school is on them. Every kid screws up in college. Just gotta teach them best you can and good god don’t send them to private school either to waste your money drinking and not going to class 😂

 

[Account1]

balance is the key. If you dont allow social media for HS kids they would simply do it on a laptop. Putting away phones at a certain time like before dinner, events, and out of the bedroom is probably teaching more realistic balance going forward.

I’m not really seeing how kids will get smartphones if you don’t buy them for them. Laptops or desktops for social media, whatever, far better than a phone for it 🤷

Parents are too weak now. Leads to a lot of lost money and sanity in their kids.

 

[emergentmd]

Not that my parenting is any better than the next but I prefer letting them do something under my watch so I can guide than doing something the first time without my direct guidance.

I let all of my kids have the occasional drink under my watch starting at 14. Take the surprise out and they won't seek it. My 17 YO never drinks outside the house while her friends do what the typical teenagers do. She did it at home, got tipsy once, and doesn't see this new experience.

 

[finalpsychyear]

I’m not really seeing how kids will get smartphones if you don’t buy them for them. Laptops or desktops for social media, whatever, far better than a phone for it 🤷

Parents are too weak now. Leads to a lot of lost money and sanity in their kids.

I love the idea of no smart phones till after high school. I also like the idea of tracking where they go.

 

[finalpsychyear]

Not that my parenting is any better than the next but I prefer letting them do something under my watch so I can guide than doing something the first time without my direct guidance.

I let all of my kids have the occasional drink under my watch starting at 14. Take the surprise out and they won't seek it. My 17 YO never drinks outside the house while her friends do what the typical teenagers do. She did it at home, got tipsy once, and doesn't see this new experience.

I actually like this idea and have thought about its value. kids are probably gonna drink/smoke/marijuana at some point better under my roof and i have all the keys and they sleep there. As long as its a random here and there less likely you are doing them more harm by giving them a taste at an early age of any of those substances.

 

[ucladoc2b]

I actually like this idea and have thought about its value. kids are probably gonna drink/smoke/marijuana at some point better under my roof and i have all the keys and they sleep there. As long as its a random here and there less likely you are doing them more harm by giving them a taste at an early age of any of those substances.

As long as there isn’t an inclination towards developing a substance use disorder (sometimes not predictable but sometimes obvious), this is probably the safest way.

 

[emergentmd]

As long as there isn’t an inclination towards developing a substance use disorder (sometimes not predictable but sometimes obvious), this is probably the safest way.

Drugs is a no no in our family. For alcohol, they are going to drink in college. If they are going to develop a problem, I rather they do it when I still have a strong say in this. I see very little downside and rather they get drunk at home under my watch learning from it than some unknown stranger house.

If they develop a bad relationship with alcohol, I rather guide them and blunt it from becoming a problem.

 

[triggermaster]

Drugs is a no no in our family. For alcohol, they are going to drink in college. If they are going to develop a problem, I rather they do it when I still have a strong say in this. I see very little downside and rather they get drunk at home under my watch learning from it than some unknown stranger house.

If they develop a bad relationship with alcohol, I rather guide them and blunt it from becoming a problem.

The age they start drinking (10-25 at least) is inversely proportional to the likelihood of becoming a problem drinker in the future.

There’s a trade-off between easing them into it in high school to hopefully avoid going overboard with drinking in college and introducing the added risk of early introduction of alcohol.

(Source- An episode of Huberman podcast)

 

[deleted87051]

FINRE…not FIRE


Years ago we had an intern in his 50s who had a very successful acting career before turning to medicine. He’s in his 60s now and still doing cardiac and liver transplant anesthesia at Cedars.

The Millionaire Who Left Wall Street to Become a Paramedic

After making millions in a job he came to hate, Jonathan Kleisner joined the Fire Department as a rookie paramedic at the age of 41. Now he’s determined to be the best rescue medic anywhere.

www.nytimes.com

 

[emergentmd]

The age they start drinking (10-25 at least) is inversely proportional to the likelihood of becoming a problem drinker in the future.

There’s a trade-off between easing them into it in high school to hopefully avoid going overboard with drinking in college and introducing the added risk of early introduction of alcohol.

(Source- An episode of Huberman podcast)

Absolutely it is inversely proportional. But I do it in a controlled environment and may give them a drink 5 times a year only on special occasions. They definitely do not have access to the liquor cabinet or having daily parties in their rooms.

Alcoholics have a genetic predisposition to drinking too much. Makes sense that they will start early. I didn't have a drink until my late 20's not because I could not but b/c I just didn't see the need or enjoy the taste. Even now, I only drink socially and really do not enjoy the taste

 

[abolt18]

In our house there’s no social media until after high school. YMMV but I’m not worried about stunting their social lives by keeping them off smartphones.

Literally, the plot of the movie “8th grade” cannot happen without smart phones and social media

I think we've decided at 16 (3 years away) we will allow very supervised and limited use of one social media platform. Similar to learning to drive safely with a permit and under the guidance of parents, I want them to have our help learning how to navigate the digital world. I hope they'll just say "that's dumb, I don't want social media" but I also worry that if we make them wait until they move out, they'll be ill equipped for how emotionally draining and toxic it can be. I got rid of social media (except SDN) in 2017 and I'll never go back.

 

[abolt18]

i just dont know if a private school solves the problem of misbehaving, distracting kids - they're not all poor.

we have had plenty of those type of kids leave our great public school and go to local private schools after so many disciplinary actions against them in public school, they went right over to private school where they can pay their way into no consequences and parents can continue to ignore their bad behavior and then blame the public school. it takes a LOT to get kicked out of a private school and for that school to give up the revenue. way easier for mediocre students to get better (paid for) grades and discipline problems to be (paid to be) ignored

admittedly my perspective is from a VHCOL area and I do think in more rural areas, where taxes are very low and as a physician you are in the top 1-2% of earners, private school is probably the best option. There has already been some filtering at the public school level in these VHCOL areas and top school districts.. just by nature of cost of homes in town

around me private schools are a composed of "I had issues in public school"/"I live in a bad school district"/"My parents say Im going to harvard"/ "My family is deeply religious"/"My family member went here"

I agree. I just meant that if we reached a level of desperation for our kids to get away from a bad situation like that I'd consider private school.

 

[deleted87051]

But then wouldn't the kids be alone at home? Both spouses work.

OP, I feel you; we live in Marin and spent a lot on a house and remodel. We have one more year of paying for pre-K before they go to the local public school. At its worst, our nanny costs were the same as yours. That's just what it costs. Still, our PITI is about half yours, but, to your point, my spouse had some tech money that brought our loan total to a less unreasonable amount. I have colleagues in two-physician households (so clearing a mill a year between the two of them) still complaining. It's like, if you want your kids to have horses in the stable out back, and private schools and all that, yeah, the bay area is going to be humbling. We live pretty modestly, if that can truly be said at our price point (e.g., older cars, vacations in nature instead of Paris), and the truth is, I often feel like I should be saving more than we are. But we really like living here. I think it's a matter of perspective and preference with regard to trade-offs. We all make them; the ones you're making a pretty severe, but you are choosing them.

Marin has its own Onion! Every weird community needs one.

Addressing the Allegations

In short, the readers are to blame for everything

marinlately.com

I did not know. Thank you NYTimes.

Outsiders Love Mocking Marin County. Now, It’s Laughing at Itself.

In February, the publication Marin Lately began satirizing the wealthy, idyllic swath of the Bay Area. The author has been a mystery, until now.

www.nytimes.com

 

[cchoukal]

Marin has its own Onion! Every weird community needs one.

Addressing the Allegations

In short, the readers are to blame for everything

marinlately.com

I did not know. Thank you NYTimes.

Outsiders Love Mocking Marin County. Now, It’s Laughing at Itself.

In February, the publication Marin Lately began satirizing the wealthy, idyllic swath of the Bay Area. The author has been a mystery, until now.

www.nytimes.com

I just saw that too. The articles are good, not great, but they’re a fun read.

 

[deleted87051]

Sort of. Any ribeye with the bone-in would have same impact on the temperature gradient (having cooked ribeye at home dozens of ways hundreds of times). The kids get the cap that ends up more done, I get the eye that's more or less medium, and the Mrs. gets the rare part near the bone. AND the tomahawk IS a great showpiece!

Makes sense to order a tomahawk for the whole family.

My daughter just sent me this. If she wasn’t veg, I’d think she’s dropping hints.

 

[cchoukal]

Makes sense to order a tomahawk for the whole family.

My daughter just sent me this. If she wasn’t veg, I’d think she’s dropping hints.

that's an immediate "follow."

 

[aneftp]

Makes sense to order a tomahawk for the whole family.

My daughter just sent me this. If she wasn’t veg, I’d think she’s dropping hints.

He’s a great chef.

why pay someone to cook something you can do better. Besides the time commitment to cook. And I’m sure he spends at least an hour to prep than another 30 min to clean

 

[Splenda88]

Makes sense to order a tomahawk for the whole family.

My daughter just sent me this. If she wasn’t veg, I’d think she’s dropping hints.

That is remarkable.

 

[triggermaster]

He’s a great chef.

why pay someone to cook something you can do better. Besides the time commitment to cook. And I’m sure he spends at least an hour to prep than another 30 min to clean

Then

 

[CopaceticOne]

Then

Seriously?

Name checks out

 

[GassYous]

Makes sense to order a tomahawk for the whole family.

My daughter just sent me this. If she wasn’t veg, I’d think she’s dropping hints.

My wife's expectations just went up

 

[deleted87051]

My wife's expectations just went up

Then don’t let her see this 😮. He was actually coached through the shoot by the fishmonger. Video was on the fishmonger’s account but it was taken down.