Are there female doctors who want to marry but don't want have children?

[libraryismyhome]

---

Members don't see this ad.

I am just wondering... If I could become a doctor, I would like to enjoy my life as much as possible by not having any kids. I would like to work part time and marry a female doctor who would also work part time, so we won't have much financial concern since our combined income would be equivalent to one full time doctor. We would only work 2 weeks or 3 weeks per month and would spend the rest of month traveling. Maybe I am thinking this way cause I am still not mature enough to get married. But are there female doctors who would like to live like this??

 

[rhesuspieces]

Yes. But it'll be quite a long time before you can have a career like that, if at all. Anyone you meet at the beginning of your career might not share your dreams after 10-20 years, when you're at the point where you can get away with working half-time.

 

[Mac Blade]

I am just wondering... If I could become a doctor, I would like to enjoy my life as much as possible by not having any kids. I would like to work part time and marry a female doctor who would also work part time, so we won't have much financial concern since our combined income would be equivalent to one full time doctor. We would only work 2 weeks or 3 weeks per month and would spend the rest of month traveling. Maybe I am thinking this way cause I am still not mature enough to get married. But are there female doctors who would like to live like this??

You could save mad money by living in the library as well.

 

[Helen Wheels]

OP, there are certainly heterosexual women out there who want to remain childfree. We are in the minority, though. I have known since around age 18 that motherhood is not for me. I just honestly don't want to be a parent and have the responsibility of taking care of a child. People often told me that I would "change my mind" but I am rapidly approaching middle age and I still feel the same way.

I am a homebody, though, and really wouldn't want to travel every month. 😉

 

[Winged Scapula]

Of course there are women who prefer to remain childfree but still desire relationships.

There are also such women in medicine; IMHO you tend to find them in the less traditionally "female" specialities like surgery.

However, your plan to work part time is pretty unrealistic except in very few exceptions. If you are unavailable to your patients and your referring physicians, you will lose business. Most people who work part time, work every day or 2-3 days per week. A smaller percentage will go on a sabbatical every few years.

We've discussed the issues with a part time career here at length before but suffice it to say that such jobs are few and far between (especially for a surgeon, should you choose to find a female surgeon to live with) except in a solo private practice and in those cases, the issues in the paragraph above become relevant (if your referrers can't rely on you to be available, they will not send you patients).

 

[mouthwash4hobo]

OP, there are certainly heterosexual women out there who want to remain childfree. We are in the minority, though. I have known since around age 18 that motherhood is not for me. I just honestly don't want to be a parent and have the responsibility of taking care of a child. People often told me that I would "change my mind" but I am rapidly approaching middle age and I still feel the same way.

I am a homebody, though, and really wouldn't want to travel every month. 😉

I am the same. I'm now 24 and still do not want to have children. My boyfriend doesn't want any either. I want to do a lot including get into medical school, some travel, learning new languages, instruments, play video games.. lol I need ME time!

 

[rhesuspieces]

Solution: find a specialty so specialized that even the most special specialists have no idea how to do what you do. Monopolize the market. Your availability will become irrelevant because you are THE ONLY OPTION.

Profit.

 

[Ladoctora44]

Maybe if you are both Dermatologists that is completely plausible. I want to travel, but I also want kids.

 

[American Shero]

There are women who would like this life but they are kinda rare. You would probably have better luck finding them through the internet than in a bar or walking thru the mall.

 

[FloridaMedicine]

You could save mad money by living in the library as well.

??? lmfao that was so random but it made me laugh

 

[desi0chick]

Contrary to most of the replies on this thread, I would want to have children in the future or at least after I'm settled with most of my work. Having children is a huge responsibiltiy, so lets first get through medical school and residency and then we'll talk about children haha

 

[Catalystik]

In my workplace there are three married female physicians who are and will remain childfree. There are five married male docs with the same intention. So from my perspective it wouldn't be difficult to find a partner dedicated to building their career rather than taking on family responsibilities. But of these, one works 80% time (female), one 90% (male), and rest full-time. It's more the married-with-children types that tend to work less than 100% time. And only after the educational loans are paid off.

 

[jadealer]

There are girls out there who have no desire to have children... I am one of them. I know I would be a horrible parent so I have absolutely no desire to procreate plus the world is over-populated enough. I'm fortunate to have a SO who also doesn't want to have children and just wants to travel and pursue our hobbies. I think as a woman, it is harder for people to accept the fact that you have no desire to have children. I have had many people almost become confrontational when I say why I don't want to have kids. I also don't want to get married though I do enjoy having a committed long term relationship.. but most people can't appreciate or understand that.

 

[JonnyL]

My sincere advice to you is worry about getting into Medical school before worrying about this kind of stuff. People change.

 

[deleted212936]

I don't want to have children, not because I think I'll be a bad parent but because I don't want more responsibilities.

 

[Hoody]

weird bump is...weird.


anyway, I don't want children either. if my step score allows, I will go for what I think is probably a male dominated specialty. but what if I like girls?

 

[athadam]

Idiocracy anyone?

 

[T1R3KO]

I'm not even thinking about kids yet. I figure that until the time comes when (if) I decide to spawn, my life is about me and I won't be making any real accommodations for future kids.

That said, it's definitely possible to work part-time almost immediately. My mother is a rheumatologist who went straight into her own private practice and never spent more than 3 days a week in her office. She did it to make time for kids and recreation. It helps to work in a field that prescribes expensive narcotics and that bone-density scans became really trendy...

 

[Pons Asinorum]

Maybe I am thinking this way cause I am still not mature enough to get married.

The important part is quoted for truth.

 

[BiopsychStudent]

I think you'll feel very differently about having children when your 30 compared to when you're 20.

 

[libraryismyhome]

wow, who bumped this thread? This was just my temporal thought. Now I don't even think this way. Now I have moved from the dark age of celibacy and to the absolute monarchy by marrying a beta female.

 

[Pons Asinorum]

wow, who bumped this thread? This was just my temporal thought. Now I don't even think this way. Now I have moved from the dark age of celibacy and to the absolute monarchy by marrying a beta female.

...and THAT is why you don't start a thread on every silly little thought that wafts through your head. There are many guilty of that on this forum who would do well to learn.

 

[jsh52]

The important part is quoted for truth.

👍 Agree with that too! It's not that you're immature, but it's perfectly fine to not imagine having any kids yet. Truth be told-I can't imagine having another one right now. I just had our baby boy back in Sept 2010 (he's our first and only). He's totally precious and definitely makes the worst day seem 1000 times better...but he is WORK. 🙂 I went from working a nice, leisurely 8-10 hours a day to 24 hours with no breaks. When you are a parent, you are always on the clock. 😉

My husband wants to try for one more before I go to medical school (hopefully in fall 2012)...I'm just like ....NO WAY!!! I am the only one taking care of our little one anyways. Maybe in 5-10 years lol

 

[DrHogFan]

I am just wondering... If I could become a doctor, I would like to enjoy my life as much as possible by not having any kids. I would like to work part time and marry a female doctor who would also work part time, so we won't have much financial concern since our combined income would be equivalent to one full time doctor. We would only work 2 weeks or 3 weeks per month and would spend the rest of month traveling. Maybe I am thinking this way cause I am still not mature enough to get married. But are there female doctors who would like to live like this??

I use to think this way. I thought I'd want to be kidless work little and hunt and fish every day. I saw kids as a burden and hamper to MY fun. That is... until my little girl was born. It changes your life. I don't have a burden but a change in priority. Instead of counting down the clock to get off and run and grab a drink and watch the game or head to the woods or water, I honestly rush home and lay in the floor with my little girl, cause it's the best place on earth. By all means enjoy life to the fullest and travel and be happy, but you haven't experienced true happiness and unconditional love until you bring a life into this world.

[edit] sorry didn't realize this was a resurrected thread. Congrats on the change of heart. I'm leaving my post in case there's someone else out there thinking the same way.

 

[Torr]

wow, who bumped this thread? This was just my temporal thought. Now I don't even think this way. Now I have moved from the dark age of celibacy and to the absolute monarchy by marrying a beta female.

That's why I rarely start threads. Next time this thing gets bumped you'll probably have a kid or two .

 

[searun]

Ah, DINKS, dual income - no kids! Personally, I would never want to be a Dink but they do tend to drive better cars.

My mother wanted to be a Dink and she and my dad were married for 12 blissful years before I was born. My mother swore that she never wanted to have children. And then, one day, when she was 34, she walked into the family room while my dad was drinking beer and watching a football game, and announced that she needed to become pregnant immediately or her life was over. My poor dad gave her a puzzled look, took a long slow sip of his beer, and about shortly thereafter little searun made his entrance into this world, followed up by my little brother two years later. My mother traded her life as a Dink for motherhood and has never regretted it. Life happens, people change. And you are not the same person at thirty as you are at twenty.

Like I said, nothing wrong with being a Dink, and God knows some people are not suited for parenthood, but you never know how it will all turn out until you live your life. As Yogi Berra once said, when you come to a fork in the road, take it.

 

[karafox]

Definitely. I don't want kids (though, I'm not a doctor...😳).

 

[Narmerguy]

Ah, DINKS, dual income - no kids! Personally, I would never want to be a Dink but they do tend to drive better cars.

My mother wanted to be a Dink and she and my dad were married for 12 blissful years before I was born. My mother swore that she never wanted to have children. And then, one day, when she was 34, she walked into the family room while my dad was drinking beer and watching a football game, and announced that she needed to become pregnant immediately or her life was over. My poor dad gave her a puzzled look, took a long slow sip of his beer, and about shortly thereafter little searun made his entrance into this world, followed up by my little brother two years later. My mother traded her life as a Dink for motherhood and has never regretted it. Life happens, people change. And you are not the same person at thirty as you are at twenty.

Like I said, nothing wrong with being a Dink, and God knows some people are not suited for parenthood, but you never know how it will all turn out until you live your life. As Yogi Berra once said, when you come to a fork in the road, take it.

Good stuff 👍

 

[Pons Asinorum]

...Life happens, people change. And you are not the same person at thirty as you are at twenty.

The most accurate, and important, thing that will be said in PA today.

 

[slatermd]

searun, this post is SO full of WIN I don't even know where to start. Let's just take it from the top.

Ah, DINKS, dual income - no kids! Personally, I would never want to be a Dink but they do tend to drive better cars.

#WINNING

My mother wanted to be a Dink and she and my dad were married for 12 blissful years before I was born. My mother swore that she never wanted to have children. And then, one day, when she was 34, she walked into the family room while my dad was drinking beer and watching a football game, and announced that she needed to become pregnant immediately or her life was over. My poor dad gave her a puzzled look, took a long slow sip of his beer, and about shortly thereafter little searun made his entrance into this world, followed up by my little brother two years later. My mother traded her life as a Dink for motherhood and has never regretted it.

A legitimately "cool story" on SDN. I love it but I am terrified that the sky will now fall.

Life happens, people change. And you are not the same person at thirty as you are at twenty.

Nontrad anthem/epic poem

Like I said, nothing wrong with being a Dink, and God knows some people are not suited for parenthood...

Truth. Something about this gives me hope for future generations. All in all, excellent work.