“I hate them! I HATE them!”
@electropartyogram cried
With their upper lip curled in a grimace so snide
“I drink my chai smoothie at quarter to THREE,
and then jog 10k twice—why can’t they be like ME?
Surely there’s time between three different jobs
To make a nice pot roast—those poor, ugly SLOBS!
Why must they go on eating that horrid slime?
Because there’s no money? Because there’s no time?
Because they’re all stressed about bills yet in store?
Should’ve thought about THAT when they chose to be poor!"
"And now when I see patients they’re all fat, fat, FAT!
Well, now, I’ve got a great solution for THAT
If we take their healthcare—put them further in need,
Maybe THEN they’ll think twice! Maybe then they’ll take heed!
Who knew the solution was so simple, yet big?
Just make them all poorer, those fat, blubbery pigs!”
With that, then, they finished the rest of their shake
And set off to treat our country’s great mistake.
With all this in mind, now, I really must pry
To all those on this forum—why medicine? Why?
Did your shadowing and rotations, in all of their wealth,
Not showcase the social determinants of health?
Who did all of you THINK you were going to treat?
The young and the fit? Come in, take a seat!
Should the ER have two lines there, on the way in—
This way for FAT! This way for THIN!
“I want to treat only when it’s NOT their fault!”
Should’ve chosen another career, bro, don’t salt
Don’t push your regret and your lack of due patience
On those you deem blobs—or as they’re called, “your patients”
Or maybe go do plastics up in LA
“Oh, you’d like a nose job? Come here, right this way!”
And if you can’t see it with at least some good humor,
I guess then I’ll shrug and I’ll say—
OK boomer