Can someone pls proofread my re-app essay?

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Wait have you not applied yet? It is too late in the cycle...
I will likely apply next cycle and add more to this essay, but I want some input on how it looks so far, and maybe get some direction on things to include/exclude. So far, I sent it to one sdn-er that was willing to read it over, but they unfortunately provided only a few words of negative feedback and discouragement, no advice on how to improve. So I would appreciate someone else's opinion!
 
I will likely apply next cycle and add more to this essay, but I want some input on how it looks so far, and maybe get some direction on things to include/exclude. So far, I sent it to one sdn-er that was willing to read it over, but they unfortunately provided only a few words of negative feedback and discouragement, no advice on how to improve. So I would appreciate someone else's opinion!
Also, I am confident in my stats, so I think I still have a shot this cycle, but I think I will take peoples advice and apply early in June.
 
I will likely apply next cycle and add more to this essay, but I want some input on how it looks so far, and maybe get some direction on things to include/exclude. So far, I sent it to one sdn-er that was willing to read it over, but they unfortunately provided only a few words of negative feedback and discouragement, no advice on how to improve. So I would appreciate someone else's opinion!
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