Can you critique my draft rec letter?

[MyRealNameIs]

My pharmacy manager wants me to write a draft rec letter. I don't want to give her garbage to edit as I know she is very busy (two kids, mom has cancer). If people can critique my draft, that would be great. It seems very short but I don't know what else to write about. Its not even half a page.

Thanks for your help in advance. Hopefully this post can help others who needs to write draft rec letters.



I am pleased to recommend _____ for admission to pharmacy school. I am a pharmacy manager at Walgreens and _____ has been working as a pharmacy technician since May, 2014.

____ came to work as a technician with no previous experience. While he struggled at first, he is a keen learner. With minimal supervision, he was able to learn the daily tasks required for pharmacy technician quickly. He put extra time after work to study notes he took during his job. He is great with patients and remains unruffled even with difficult patients or unusually busy days. He gets along well with other staff members, takes criticism well, and a pleasure to work with.

In addition, _____ is an industrious student. I often saw him studying during his lunch break. He is motivated to succeed and passionate about the profession. I have no doubt he will exceed expectation at any pharmacy school program.

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[pms_testosterone]

"struggled" is too negative a word. If you can't think of a positive way to phrase it, describe your situation instead, e.g. "While he had much learn, he was a keen and determined trainee."

Can you give specific examples of things you've done - special projects you've worked on, or especially difficult situations you've helped out with? That's the only thing I would add, if applicable.

 

[PharmHealth_KI]

I, _____, am pleased to recommend _____ for admission to pharmacy school. As a pharmacy manager at Walgreens, I have acknowledged ______'s efforts to succeed and have an impact on others. He has been a pleasure to work with for more than one year.

____ began to work as a technician with no previous experience, and although there was a substantial amount of material to grasp, he was extremely positive and is a keen learner. With minimal supervision, he was able to learn the daily tasks required for a pharmacy technician quickly. He utilized extra time after work to study notes that he took on-the-job. He is great with all patients and remains unruffled when issues or unusually high workload circumstances arise. He is an exceptional team-player who communicates well with other staff members and employs constructive criticism.

In addition, _____ is an industrious student. I often noticed him studying for __???___ during his lunch breaks. He is motivated to succeed and is passionate about the profession. I have no doubt that he will exceed expectations at any pharmacy school program.


I polished it up for you/fixed grammatical mistakes. If you have specifics that you can add that would definitely be great. Good Luck!!!

 

[MyRealNameIs]

Hi Thank you guys for your help, especially PharmHealth for taking time to specifically correct my mistakes. Really appreciate it. I will also try to think of some specifics to add. Thank you.