Challenge/Adversity Topic Feedback

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steffiswims

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Hi guys, starting to prewrite and would love some advice. I am a rising senior in college.

For the more general challenge question (GW, CW, Pitt, Cornell, and UVA):
1. I moved to a new, very small, private high school in Gr10, where I was one of four accepted students and the only girl entering into a class of ~100 students that had been together since Gr7.
2. I'm a varsity sports supervisor at my college; was thinking of the first time I had to announce one of our hockey games because our announcer flaked and my boss wasn't around and so the next person in chain of command was me (despite me having 0 announcing experience or practice)
3. This summer I had to choose between living at home with my parents, where I would have been supported with meals and not having to pay for gas or bills vs staying in my college town to continue in-person clinical research and clinical volunteering but I live alone and have to support myself
4. Maybe too extreme but first week of college, the guy I lived next to in our dorm was killed in an unprovoked attack on campus, first time I had ever experienced a personal loss and kinda killed the exciting buzz about starting a new chapter, people didn't want to hang out, events were canceled etc.

And then more specifically, Geisel and Saint Louis ask about times "where I was the other":
5. My job employs many international students, I've had to run hockey games where everyone was from India/Pakistan/Turkey and they have never experienced the sport/don't know the rules or set up involved
6. Worked on a semester research project where I identified myself as a group leader and then was paired with two students who were in 4th and 5th years of undergrad, so had to delegate tasks and take charge despite being younger and having less research experience
I could also use #1 here since no school asks about both of these prompts.

Thank you!!!

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For the more general challenge question (GW, CW, Pitt, Cornell, and UVA):
1. I moved to a new, very small, private high school in Gr10, where I was one of four accepted students and the only girl entering into a class of ~100 students that had been together since Gr7.
2. I'm a varsity sports supervisor at my college; was thinking of the first time I had to announce one of our hockey games because our announcer flaked and my boss wasn't around and so the next person in chain of command was me (despite me having 0 announcing experience or practice)
3. This summer I had to choose between living at home with my parents, where I would have been supported with meals and not having to pay for gas or bills vs staying in my college town to continue in-person clinical research and clinical volunteering but I live alone and have to support myself
4. Maybe too extreme but first week of college, the guy I lived next to in our dorm was killed in an unprovoked attack on campus, first time I had ever experienced a personal loss and kinda killed the exciting buzz about starting a new chapter, people didn't want to hang out, events were canceled etc.
Please provide the specific prompts. It makes a difference.

CWRU: Please describe a significant personal challenge you have faced, one which you feel has helped to shape you as a person. Examples may include a moral or ethical dilemma, a situation of personal adversity, or a hurdle in your life that you worked hard to overcome. Please include how you got through the experience and what you learned about yourself as a result.
GW: What makes you a unique individual? What challenges have you faced? What have you learned from your experiences?
UPitt: Tell us about a challenging problem you faced and how you resolved it. Include how the experience contributed to the person you are today. (250 words or less.)
UVA: Tell us about a challenge or obstacle you experienced. How did you manage it?
Weill Cornell: Please describe a challenge you faced and how you addressed it.

To that end:
1. Doesn't answer the prompts... How did you address this, manage it, become a better person for it?
2. How does this make you a unique person or a better person? Isn't this something that was expected of you because of your job responsibilities?
3. I guess you have more space to talk about how you came to adjust to living independently that is germane to the prompts? You would address most of the prompts, but how would you stand out?
4. That's not a challenge that affected you directly? It definitely affects the whole community and is why counseling should be available to everyone.

And then more specifically, Geisel and Saint Louis ask about times "where I was the other":
5. My job employs many international students, I've had to run hockey games where everyone was from India/Pakistan/Turkey and they have never experienced the sport/don't know the rules or set up involved
6. Worked on a semester research project where I identified myself as a group leader and then was paired with two students who were in 4th and 5th years of undergrad, so had to delegate tasks and take charge despite being younger and having less research experience
I could also use #1 here since no school asks about both of these prompts.

Thank you!!!
5. That should be a no-brainer though it puts you in a position of power. We are likely more interested in situations where you were the "other" and had no power to affect or control the situation.
6. Same thing.
 
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Hi guys, starting to prewrite and would love some advice. I am a rising senior in college.

For the more general challenge question (GW, CW, Pitt, Cornell, and UVA):
1. I moved to a new, very small, private high school in Gr10, where I was one of four accepted students and the only girl entering into a class of ~100 students that had been together since Gr7.
2. I'm a varsity sports supervisor at my college; was thinking of the first time I had to announce one of our hockey games because our announcer flaked and my boss wasn't around and so the next person in chain of command was me (despite me having 0 announcing experience or practice)
3. This summer I had to choose between living at home with my parents, where I would have been supported with meals and not having to pay for gas or bills vs staying in my college town to continue in-person clinical research and clinical volunteering but I live alone and have to support myself
4. Maybe too extreme but first week of college, the guy I lived next to in our dorm was killed in an unprovoked attack on campus, first time I had ever experienced a personal loss and kinda killed the exciting buzz about starting a new chapter, people didn't want to hang out, events were canceled etc.

And then more specifically, Geisel and Saint Louis ask about times "where I was the other":
5. My job employs many international students, I've had to run hockey games where everyone was from India/Pakistan/Turkey and they have never experienced the sport/don't know the rules or set up involved
6. Worked on a semester research project where I identified myself as a group leader and then was paired with two students who were in 4th and 5th years of undergrad, so had to delegate tasks and take charge despite being younger and having less research experience
I could also use #1 here since no school asks about both of these prompts.

Thank you!!!
@Mr.Smile12 gave you some great and specific feedback and as he wrote, the individual prompts matter, as does the rest of your app. However, just a little general feedback. I believe #1 and #3 (and to a lesser extent #4) could make you seem a little inexperienced and immature. That's exactly what you don't want to do if you are applying straight from college.
 
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2. How does this make you a unique person or a better person? Isn't this something that was expected of you because of your job responsibilities?

Thanks for your help.

For #2, this was not in my job responsibilities (and still isn't) - it's a completely separate role with an external hire. I had to do it though because all other staff present at the game are from different departments (Radio, Game Stats, Facility/Maintenance, etc.) and so as Event Supervisor it falls on me to make sure the game runs. But again it's not something I would ever have expected to do (in the same way I wouldn't ever expect to run the Zamboni or collect stats). I think it shows adaptability, willingness to try new things, and since I had to figure out how to carry out my other duties that I was supposed to be doing while sitting at a desk the entire game, creative problem-solving, and good communication with my staff.

I also think it's a pretty unique experience? I don't know how many pre-meds would have announced a college-level ticketed hockey game as an experience but I would guess it's not common.
 
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