Changing last name after medical school possible?

[BlueJasper]

That is, do you have to get married before graduating to change your last name? I have heard that it is nearly impossible and extremely costly to change your name after you gradutate med school, get you DEA number, etc.

Does anybody have any advice or personal experience on this one? Where is there info on this?

thanks.

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[DeusSolInvictus]

why bother changing your last name? i personally think that its an outdated tradition and kind of useless, unless your into that sort of thing. my mom never changed her last name after she married my dad, and my fiance (yes im engaged ) isn't going to have to either.

i think its simpler, and why should the woman or anyone have to change their family name, should it matter?

 

[45408]

i think its simpler, and why should the woman or anyone have to change their family name, should it matter?

It would've been a fairly big deal to me if my wife hadn't changed her name (women with a professional reputation based on a name is a different situation). She and I are planning on having our own family, so it makes sense to the both of us that everyone in the family would have the same last name. If tradition had dictated that I change my last name, I probably would have done that.

 

[elwademd]

That is, do you have to get married before graduating to change your last name? I have heard that it is nearly impossible and extremely costly to change your name after you gradutate med school, get you DEA number, etc.

Does anybody have any advice or personal experience on this one? Where is there info on this?

thanks.

it can be expensive and problematic, depending on the state you plan on practicing in- during residency, fellowship, and the life that comes after that.

it's easiest if your name matches up on all your documentation from medical school and residency. if the name on your medical school diploma differs from the name on your residency certificate/diploma it may be a bit troublesome... then throw in a different name on your driver's license, medical license, and dea number... and it may take some explaining to various sources- for hospital privileges, getting another license in another state, etc. .

of course, you can also get into your "married name" and your "professional name" as well.

 

[redbeans]

why bother changing your last name? i personally think that its an outdated tradition and kind of useless, unless your into that sort of thing. my mom never changed her last name after she married my dad, and my fiance (yes im engaged ) isn't going to have to either.

i think its simpler, and why should the woman or anyone have to change their family name, should it matter?

this was almost my reply exactly.

 

[Ashers]

If I ever get married, I plan on changing my name, no matter how inconvenient it is. Just something I've planned on doing for most of my life.

 

[MrBurns10]

My chief resident and his wife both hyphenated their last names when they got married, which I think is cute.

I'm not changing my name. For one, I love my last name. And I do think it's an outdated tradition (for me personally) that had not-so-innocent origins.

 

[ambulancedriver]

don't mean to hijack the thread, but how do you even go about changing your legal name? a google search turned up conflicting answers

 

[alwaysaangel]

Good to know that I need to change my name before I graduate. Wouldn't have even occurred to me. Yet another reason to go ahead and get married after my second year.

I will change my name, not because tradition dictates it, but because I think hyphenated names are tacky (it leaves your children with having to pick one name or the other or having three last names hyphenated when they get married). And I grew up with my mother having a different name than my father (she was just too lazy to legally change it from her first marriage). It did make things hard on me. Teachers questioning why someone with a different last name than me signed stuff. Maybe thats not true anymore because its more common now, but I just think it was a huge pain and would rather have everyone in my immediate family have the last name for simplicities sake and for the sake of not confusing my children.

 

[spreebee]

why bother changing your last name? i personally think that its an outdated tradition and kind of useless, unless your into that sort of thing. my mom never changed her last name after she married my dad, and my fiance (yes im engaged ) isn't going to have to either.

i think its simpler, and why should the woman or anyone have to change their family name, should it matter?

Ahhh... One of the few exceptions to the general population...

 

[DeusSolInvictus]

The wife changing her last name is more of a western tradition as I learned in my stay in uae, here the tradition is that the woman keeps her name, so that everyone can trace the geneology (sp?) of her children (both father's and mother's).

So its not just a small part of the world's pop. theres literally more than 100 million ppl from morroco to pakistan that don't do this.

but hey, whatever floats your boat. i mean if my fiance wanted to change her name, i wouldn't stop her but its not something i expect from her or even encourage her to do.

 

[45408]

don't mean to hijack the thread, but how do you even go about changing your legal name? a google search turned up conflicting answers

Mail in a copy of your marriage license and your social security card along with a form to the SS office nearest you.

 

[Meatwad]

I think when people get married, they should both change their names to something totally different. So if Bob Smith marries Mary Jones, they should both change their last names to Johnson.

With that said, I'd demand on changing our names to something cool, like Calrissian.

 

[Doctor Bagel]

My chief resident and his wife both hyphenated their last names when they got married, which I think is cute.

I'm not changing my name. For one, I love my last name. And I do think it's an outdated tradition (for me personally) that had not-so-innocent origins.

If anyone's curious, there's a big thread about whether or not you plan to change your name in the Women In Healthcare forum. Apparently I'm immasculating my husband by not changing my name.

 

[45408]

If anyone's curious, there's a big thread about whether or not you plan to change your name in the Women In Healthcare forum. Apparently I'm immasculating my husband by not changing my name.

So would you have been okay if he hadn't bought you an engagement ring?

 

[GuzzyRon]

why bother changing your last name? i personally think that its an outdated tradition and kind of useless, unless your into that sort of thing. my mom never changed her last name after she married my dad, and my fiance (yes im engaged ) isn't going to have to either.

i think its simpler, and why should the woman or anyone have to change their family name, should it matter?

Just because you think name change is "useless" doesn't necessarily make it so. And just because it's not done in the region of the world you live doesn't mean other regions who practice the tradition should give it up. And also, just because your parents didn't do it means other people have to follow suit.

Family ties and common identity means a lot to some people. And you shouldn't describe their preference for a name change as "useless" just because it means nothing to you.

 

[Meatwad]

Just because you think name change is "useless" doesn't necessarily make it so. And just because it's not done in the region of the world you live doesn't mean other regions who practice the tradition should give it up. And also, just because your parents didn't do it means other people have to follow suit.

Family ties and common identity means a lot to some people. And you shouldn't describe their preference for a name change as "useless" just because it means nothing to you.

Plus, the OP never asked if they should change their name; rather, they asked if changing their name would cause a problem. So it sounds like their mind is made up already and the preachiness is falling on deaf ears.

 

[Doctor Bagel]

So would you have been okay if he hadn't bought you an engagement ring?

Lol, actually he didn't, and we agreed on that one, too. One, they're a huge waste of money -- we had been living together prior to getting married, so it wasn't like I wouldn't feel the hit of a several thousand dollar ring. Two, I don't like diamonds, and three, I'm not a fan of the symbolism there. Neither my mom nor my sister have engagement rings either. The big diamond engagement ring is actually a very new tradition, so I'm actually not being horribly non-traditional here.

 

[45408]

Lol, actually he didn't, and we agreed on that one, too. One, they're a huge waste of money -- we had been living together prior to getting married, so it wasn't like I wouldn't feel the hit of a several thousand dollar ring. Two, I don't like diamonds, and three, I'm not a fan of the symbolism there. Neither my mom nor my sister have engagement rings either. The big diamond engagement ring is actually a very new tradition, so I'm actually not being horribly non-traditional here.

Hmmm, so if you're not a big fan of tradition, why did you get married? Kind of an expensive maneuver for most people.

Or wait, let me guess, you had the ceremony in the backyard wearing a grass skirt?

 

[DeusSolInvictus]

Just because you think name change is "useless" doesn't necessarily make it so. And just because it's not done in the region of the world you live doesn't mean other regions who practice the tradition should give it up. And also, just because your parents didn't do it means other people have to follow suit.

Family ties and common identity means a lot to some people. And you shouldn't describe their preference for a name change as "useless" just because it means nothing to you.

you should read my posts more carefully, firstly I was born and raised in the US and was merely stating an observance on the other part of the globe. I know big mistake... And Im not stopping them or advising them, just giving my opinion on why I wouldn't want to, because it is a hassle for the girl/woman/wife whatever after getting her degree, her bills, her paychecks in one name and then suddenly switching. So I do think it is useless, I'm not trying to fight tradition ,to me its an annoyance and I can describe it as useless If I want b/c thats what it is to me. If you want to do it anyway then go for it buddy nobody is telling you to follow me.

And in my second post I think I made it clear that If my fiance wanted to change her name, its up to her, I am not going to demand that the person I love make a sacrifice that I don't have to do. And she should be able to choose whether to give up her father's name and take mine or to keep it because for the past 20 years that's who she was, becuase it's not my decision it's hers. Personally I think it is trivial in the grand scheme of things, especially after graduating where you start to settle in to life; thats my opinion, and there are some who agree with me and don't want to deal with another headche.

So chillax, its not like im challenging the sanctity of marriage here.

 

[Doctor Bagel]

Hmmm, so if you're not a big fan of tradition, why did you get married? Kind of an expensive maneuver for most people.

Or wait, let me guess, you had the ceremony in the backyard wearing a grass skirt?

Well we did elope, so it only cost us $100. No grass skirt, though. I'll admit our desire to do the legal marriage thing was more for practical considerations like legal rights and insurance.

 

[MrBurns10]

Hmmm, so if you're not a big fan of tradition, why did you get married? Kind of an expensive maneuver for most people.

Or wait, let me guess, you had the ceremony in the backyard wearing a grass skirt?

haha Prowler, I'm guessing you're one of those guys who says that if women want equal rights and equal pay, then it's hypocritical for them to like the door held open for them on dates...right?

It's perfectly okay to be traditional in some respects but not in others. For example, I want to get married. I would love to be the one proposed to rather than the one doing the proposing. I'd like a ring, but it certainly doesn't have to be super expensive. But those traditions in my mind aren't remotely analagous to changing my last name, which was done in the first place to identify women as their husband's property. I'm not sure if I would feel differently if I weren't going into a professional field, however.

I should say again that those are just beliefs for me and that if another woman wants to change her last name, that's of course totally fine.

 

[Pinner Doc]

That is, do you have to get married before graduating to change your last name? I have heard that it is nearly impossible and extremely costly to change your name after you gradutate med school, get you DEA number, etc.

Does anybody have any advice or personal experience on this one? Where is there info on this?

thanks.

I'm getting married this spring (I'm a 4th year), and part of the reason for doing it 2 weeks before graduation was so I wouldn't have to deal with this hassle. My married name will effectively be on the diploma, as long as I get everything in to the registrar on time.

Then again, I'm going into Emergency Medicine, so I'm not sure how much it would matter, doing it before or after. I'm told it matters more if you have an actual patient base that you're working with. It confuses things.

 

[Pinner Doc]

why bother changing your last name? i personally think that its an outdated tradition and kind of useless, unless your into that sort of thing. my mom never changed her last name after she married my dad, and my fiance (yes im engaged ) isn't going to have to either.

i think its simpler, and why should the woman or anyone have to change their family name, should it matter?

It's a personal decision every woman needs to make for herself.

Personally, I like the simplicity of having one last name, and one unifying name for our family. If I were insecure, or a raging feminist, or what-have-you, I might argue why he shouldn't have to change his name much... but in all honesty, I just don't care. It's a last name. And as long as it's not something awful, I'll make it mine.

 

[45408]

haha Prowler, I'm guessing you're one of those guys who says that if women want equal rights and equal pay, then it's hypocritical for them to like the door held open for them on dates...right?

It's perfectly okay to be traditional in some respects but not in others. For example, I want to get married. I would love to be the one proposed to rather than the one doing the proposing. I'd like a ring, but it certainly doesn't have to be super expensive. But those traditions in my mind aren't remotely analagous to changing my last name, which was done in the first place to identify women as their husband's property. I'm not sure if I would feel differently if I weren't going into a professional field, however.

I should say again that those are just beliefs for me and that if another woman wants to change her last name, that's of course totally fine.

Well, I certainly don't think that you can either accept all or none of the traditions at once, but I do think it's a bit odd that you expect a ring but wouldn't change your last name. I gotta hand it to Doctor Bagel - she's more consistent than I was initially expecting. I certainly don't view my wife's last name as a sign of my ownership of her, much like I have an illuminated spruce in my living room in December, even though I'm not celebrating Yule. It's just tradition.

If you find someone who's willing to go along with your plans, then I really don't care at all (and if someone has a professional reputation based on a name, then that's understandable as well, but you can use a fake name in some cases - Brad Pitt's ex-wife's legal name was Jennifer Pitt ). My wife and I have fairly traditional views of marriage and family. Both of our moms quit their jobs after having children and stayed home, while our dads worked. My wife intends to do the same, more or less, and that's something that I think is good as well.

 

[MrBurns10]

Well, I certainly don't think that you can either accept all or none of the traditions at once, but I do think it's a bit odd that you expect a ring but wouldn't change your last name.

No I know, I just in turn find it a bit odd that you're comparing these two examples...they have little to do with each other, in my opinion.

There's nothing wrong with being traditional. Hell, my kids (if I have kids, which I'd like to) will get my husband's last name and it's not like I would correct someone who called me by his last name. But professionally it's just different for me. I've always wanted to be Dr. My Last Name, not Dr. My Possible Future Husband's Last Name. If that makes any sense.

 

[Ashers]

Well, I certainly don't think that you can either accept all or none of the traditions at once, but I do think it's a bit odd that you expect a ring but wouldn't change your last name. I gotta hand it to Doctor Bagel - she's more consistent than I was initially expecting. I certainly don't view my wife's last name as a sign of my ownership of her, much like I have an illuminated spruce in my living room in December, even though I'm not celebrating Yule. It's just tradition.

If you find someone who's willing to go along with your plans, then I really don't care at all (and if someone has a professional reputation based on a name, then that's understandable as well, but you can use a fake name in some cases - Brad Pitt's ex-wife's legal name was Jennifer Pitt ). My wife and I have fairly traditional views of marriage and family. Both of our moms quit their jobs after having children and stayed home, while our dads worked. My wife intends to do the same, more or less, and that's something that I think is good as well.

Oh, I'm jumping in now! My mom too quit her job when she was pregnant with me (but she quit before she originally intended because a gomer kicked her in the abdomen). She's also been at home to raise all of us.

While in theory, I'd like to stay at home, I think I'd be bored out of my mind. (Again it's all a big if I get married, if i have kids). I think there can be a happy medium worked out nowadays with working maybe not so absolutely insane hours to see one's kids grow up (perhaps not as a resident, but even the OB chief when I was on OB/gyn had just come back from maternity leave).

 

[BlueJasper]

Okay everyone, thanks for all of your posts. However, as was pointed out before, I am not asking IF I should change my name, but HOW to do it.

Does anyone know somebody who actually had to go through the process of changing their name post-med school? All I have heard is that it can be a costly hassle. So this has implications as to whether I need to rush a wedding before graduation, or take time with it.

thanks.

 

[45408]

Oh, I'm jumping in now! My mom too quit her job when she was pregnant with me (but she quit before she originally intended because a gomer kicked her in the abdomen).

You got kicked in the head?

 

[ForbiddenComma]

Oh, I'm jumping in now! My mom too quit her job when she was pregnant with me (but she quit before she originally intended because a gomer kicked her in the abdomen). She's also been at home to raise all of us.

While in theory, I'd like to stay at home, I think I'd be bored out of my mind. (Again it's all a big if I get married, if i have kids). I think there can be a happy medium worked out nowadays with working maybe not so absolutely insane hours to see one's kids grow up (perhaps not as a resident, but even the OB chief when I was on OB/gyn had just come back from maternity leave).

Some residencies are more family-friendly than others. The traditional "girl" fields (OB, pedes) will be more friendly to maternity leave than, say, ortho. It also varies from program to program... try to feel it out before you make a committment, but without actually declaring to the PD that you intend to have kids during residency.

Keep in mind that no matter what residency you're in, having kids and taking leave (either maternity or paternity) will increase the workload of your fellow residents and/or force the hospital to pay out the nose for locums to cover you.

 

[ForbiddenComma]

It's a personal decision every woman needs to make for herself.

Personally, I like the simplicity of having one last name, and one unifying name for our family. If I were insecure, or a raging feminist, or what-have-you, I might argue why he shouldn't have to change his name much... but in all honesty, I just don't care. It's a last name. And as long as it's not something awful, I'll make it mine.

Nice.

You forgot to throw the term "man-hater" in there too.

 

[Ashers]

You got kicked in the head?

Or butt... don't know what way I was facing. Explains a lot doesn't it?

Some residencies are more family-friendly than others. The traditional "girl" fields (OB, pedes) will be more friendly to maternity leave than, say, ortho. It also varies from program to program... try to feel it out before you make a committment, but without actually declaring to the PD that you intend to have kids during residency.

Keep in mind that no matter what residency you're in, having kids and taking leave (either maternity or paternity) will increase the workload of your fellow residents and/or force the hospital to pay out the nose for locums to cover you.

Good thing I want to go into ortho. And, yes, I've known about potential conflicts. Not too worried about it; I basically wanted to get on Prowler's case. Oh yeah, and I won't have to worry about any of that having kids stuff for a LONG time.

 

[45408]

Good thing I want to go into ortho. And, yes, I've known about potential conflicts. Not too worried about it; I basically wanted to get on Prowler's case.

Telling me that your mom stayed at home was getting on my case?

 

[Ashers]

Telling me that your mom stayed at home was getting on my case?

I've explained it to you... mute point.

 

[Gut Shot]

Okay everyone, thanks for all of your posts. However, as was pointed out before, I am not asking IF I should change my name, but HOW to do it.

Does anyone know somebody who actually had to go through the process of changing their name post-med school? All I have heard is that it can be a costly hassle. So this has implications as to whether I need to rush a wedding before graduation, or take time with it.

thanks.

There is another option, which is to leave your original name on all your official paperwork (license, DEA number, etc.), and adopt your husband's name for all other purposes. Honestly, who has to know? A number of physicians I work with do this.

A fellow resident got divorced a couple of years ago and went through the hassle of changing her name back. It was a huge hassle, involving a lawyer and multiple trips to court.

Not that you'll ever get divorced.

 

[acrunchyfrog]

In the words of Jim Gaffigan, "I expect my wife the change her name when we get married. Not to my last name, I just want her to have the name of one of my old girlfriends...."

Seriously, tho. One Dr I work with has practiced under 3 last names, and she manages to get things switched without too much hassle....although she might have her own hotline at the SS and DEA offices...

 

[montessori2md]

Mail in a copy of your marriage license and your social security card along with a form to the SS office nearest you.

When we got married, the county gave us paperwork on how to change your name with the app for the marriage license. Look at info on your local gov't website on marriage licenses, they'll probably have a link.

That said, you can call yourself whatever you want without changing your legal name. Some of my kid's MDs call themselves Dr. Bob, or whatever, instead of their last name, or Dr. G, b/c their last name is totally impossible.

I'm thinking about changing my name just because I like my DHs last name better than mine, but I've never been motivated enough to do the paperwork. On the other hand, I'd be the first person in my fam to be an MD, while his already has at least 2.

 

[45408]

I've explained it to you... mute point.

I see. Is that like a moot point?

 

[45408]

I'm thinking about changing my name just because I like my DHs last name better than mine, but I've never been motivated enough to do the paperwork. On the other hand, I'd be the first person in my fam to be an MD, while his already has at least 2.

You post on TheKnot, don't you?

 

[Ashers]

I see. Is that like a moot point?

maybe... I never know... It's a moo point

 

[kdburton]

That is, do you have to get married before graduating to change your last name? I have heard that it is nearly impossible and extremely costly to change your name after you gradutate med school, get you DEA number, etc.

Does anybody have any advice or personal experience on this one? Where is there info on this?

thanks.

I legally changed my name to McLovin' so I don't have to deal with it after med school

 

[NonTradMed]

I will change my name, not because tradition dictates it, but because I think hyphenated names are tacky (it leaves your children with having to pick one name or the other or having three last names hyphenated when they get married). And I grew up with my mother having a different name than my father (she was just too lazy to legally change it from her first marriage). It did make things hard on me. Teachers questioning why someone with a different last name than me signed stuff. Maybe thats not true anymore because its more common now, but I just think it was a huge pain and would rather have everyone in my immediate family have the last name for simplicities sake and for the sake of not confusing my children.

Weird. I'm 28 and growing up, I've only had a few people ask me about the fact that my mother didn't change her last name. I never had an issue with the fact that my mother had a different last name than me, nor did anyone get confused by it.

The wife changing her last name is more of a western tradition as I learned in my stay in uae, here the tradition is that the woman keeps her name, so that everyone can trace the geneology (sp?) of her children (both father's and mother's).

So its not just a small part of the world's pop. theres literally more than 100 million ppl from morroco to pakistan that don't do this.

In China too, women typically don't change their last name. Never been that tradition I guess.

I think when people get married, they should both change their names to something totally different. So if Bob Smith marries Mary Jones, they should both change their last names to Johnson.

With that said, I'd demand on changing our names to something cool, like Calrissian.

Solo was way cooler.

Hmmm, so if you're not a big fan of tradition, why did you get married? Kind of an expensive maneuver for most people.

Or wait, let me guess, you had the ceremony in the backyard wearing a grass skirt?

People get married for legal purposes and for future offspring. Our society tends to give prime of place to married couples rather than unmarried couples. And you can totally get married on the cheap. I'm planning on doing a cheap wedding and an expensive honeymoon. The way I figure, the wedding is for the guests and families, the honeymoon is for the couple....and if I'm shelling out thousands of dollars, I should make sure most of it is spent on ME.

 

[Lorrayne]

Changing your last name is fairly simple after marriage. Most places just ask for a copy of your marriage license. I updated my name with DPS, SS office, alma mater, etc. without any hassles. Some places just took my word for it over the phone as long as I could give them appropriate identifying information.

 

[samenewme]

That is, do you have to get married before graduating to change your last name? I have heard that it is nearly impossible and extremely costly to change your name after you gradutate med school, get you DEA number, etc.

Does anybody have any advice or personal experience on this one? Where is there info on this?

thanks.

Here's an example of an application requirement for people with a name change. Apparently they just want a copy of your marriage license or other name change documentation. Nothing too onerous:
http://ped1.med.uth.tmc.edu/residency/program-requirements.html

Similar requirement for licensure in West Virginia:

http://www.wvdhhr.org/wvbom/req_md.asp

And I've been married twice, changed my name the first time, went back to my maiden name the second. Oh, and both times we had wedding rings, but I did not have an engagement ring. The biggest problem I had was resuming the use of my maiden name in the great state of Louisiana. I had to have the judge grant me permission to resume the use of my maiden name on the divorce decree to make the Department of Motor Vehicles happy. I also carried a mini-copy of the marriage license (Louisiana gives you one) while married to my second husband in case anyone needed documented assurance I was his wife for any reason. I think I used it once.

It's not an awful ordeal; it's just paperwork. It's nothing compared to applying to med school. I wish you all happiness in your coming marriage.

 

[SalseraDoctora]

Gosh some of you people aren't very nice to each other on this forum! I think we can all agree that women who don't want to change their last name shouldn't marry the Prowler, and changing your last name is a personal decision to be made by the couple, and there is no right or wrong answer overall, just right or wrong for a particular couple.

And nobody is sexist if they really want their wife to change her name, and nobody is a man-hating lesbian feminazi just because she wants to keep her own last name. However this thread did amuse me for the last 5 minutes while I was procrastinating so thank you all for that

 

[Enthalpy430]

When I marry my fiancee, I'm making her change her last name to mine so everyone knows I own her.

 

[SalseraDoctora]

That sounds like a good plan. I actually always thought that what made the most sense was to take my husband's last name if it was really great or went really well with my first name, but if it was something uncute or that sounded stupid with my first name then no.

Mostly I just hope I don't marry anybody whose last name is Hooker or Ho or Butts or anything like that. I went to school with people with those exact last names, and it can't have been fun for them.

 

[ForbiddenComma]

When I marry my fiancee, I'm making her change her last name to mine so everyone knows I own her.

See... this is what is called 'refreshing honesty'

 

[PianoGirl04]

What about hyphenating, in terms of the legal/cost issues? It seems like it might not be as difficult since your original name will still match part of your new name, but I have no clue if the situation is any different. It just seems intuitive that going from Smith to Smith-Jones would be easier than going from Smith to Jones...

I ask because I'm an engaged MS4 with a plan to get married after I graduate. There's no way I could afford a wedding until I save up some money during residency, so getting married before graduation is out. And before you ask, I'm not planning some kind of extravagant ceremony that will cost $100k; I just want to have a simple wedding with my family and friends there (read: no eloping for me). As for the name, hyphenating is the way to go for me, since I want to keep my own name and my fiance wants me to change it.

 

[alwaysaangel]

What about hyphenating, in terms of the legal/cost issues? It seems like it might not be as difficult since your original name will still match part of your new name, but I have no clue if the situation is any different. It just seems intuitive that going from Smith to Smith-Jones would be easier than going from Smith to Jones...

I ask because I'm an engaged MS4 with a plan to get married after I graduate. There's no way I could afford a wedding until I save up some money during residency, so getting married before graduation is out. And before you ask, I'm not planning some kind of extravagant ceremony that will cost $100k; I just want to have a simple wedding with my family and friends there (read: no eloping for me). As for the name, hyphenating is the way to go for me, since I want to keep my own name and my fiance wants me to change it.

You could do the legal part of the marriage and change your name before you graduate. Then just have your wedding as planned. Wouldn't be that big of a deal, just legal paperwork. And you can choose to not act as man and wife until after your real wedding.