Convince parents ?

[cristinayang16]

Hi SDN.

I am a current third year undergrad. How do I convince my very controlling parents that I need to do a post bacc before entering med school. I did really bad my freshman year, but I learned from my mistake and it has been an upward trend. However, at the end of the day my gpa is not good enough for any med schools except maybe a low end D.O. They want me to take the MCAT literally in two months when I havent even prepared enough for it/taken all the classes necessary for it. My resume is not even built up enough. I'm striving for a good med school(that is why I want to do the post bacc because I know I deserve a good school) but they say that they won't pay my university fees if I don't apply this cycle.
I don't know what to do. I guess at the end of the day they cannot force me to take the MCAT but I am still so confused on how to deal with this situation.

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[LikeDaniel]

Have you taken any practice MCAT exams?

Try taking an AAMC official one and really try to excel on it. You might either surprise yourself or be able to show your parents data on where you are.

Also, as a nontrad currently enrolled in FT classes while working FT, don't throw out the option of working through a post bach you pay for yourself. It will be hard and busy (i have a wife and a child on the way on top of it) but so will med school, or so I hear.

In short, it's your parents money. It was generous of them to pay for your bachelor's (mine didn't), try to find out if there is a middle ground (like being able to continue living with them for free while you fund your own post-bach), and if not, and if this is truly your passion, accept the decision they made and find another way to fund it.

Best of luck to you!
-LD

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[backside_attack]

Show them data that shows that you are not ready to apply.

 

[NonTrad16]

Start by showing them this table: https://www.aamc.org/download/321518/data/factstablea24-4.pdf

Emphasize that:
-the median gpa of accepted students is ~3.6-7, and mcat is ~30 (for the sake of that chart).

- a ~30 (or ~509? Don't have the numbers at hand) means that a student performed better than ~80% of test takers, and is no easy task considering the pool of applicants. It's well worth spending 2-3 months studying. But the test expires so taking it closer to applications is advisable.

- ~60% of applicants don't get in.

- if you don't have the stats (presently), more time to volunteer/study for the mcat is a twofold benefit of waiting (since it's all required).

- if you don't have the stats, you'll likely end up in the 60%. The lower yield combos in the table (lower gpa, mcat) may have had something interesting (lots of research, pasts career, connections, etc). It's not worth gambling thousands of dollars for a low-chance event.

If all that fails, tell them to tack on some lottery tickets with their final tuition payment, because... it could happen.

(Note: I'm a 30 year old career changer, so I didn't have to convince my parents of anything, and may not know how. Unless they've recently applied to medical schools themselves, they likely don't have the slightest clue what's required, but getting them over that hurdle can be a challenge.
Also, I had to reapply, and it sucked. I would avoid it.)

 

[AnotherLawyer]

Have you taken any practice MCAT exams?

Try taking an AAMC official one and really try to excel on it. You might either surprise yourself or be able to show your parents data on where you are.

Also, as a nontrad currently enrolled in FT classes while working FT, don't throw out the option of working through a post bach you pay for yourself. It will be hard and busy (i have a wife and a child on the way on top of it) but so will med school, or so I hear.

In short, it's your parents money. It was generous of them to pay for your bachelor's (mine didn't), try to find out if there is a middle ground (like being able to continue living with them for free while you fund your own post-bach), and if not, and if this is truly your passion, accept the decision they made and find another way to fund it.

Best of luck to you!
-LD

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using SDN mobile

I agree with your general sentiment, but I strongly disagree with the recommendation to use an AAMC FL. There are only three at the moment and only two will give you a score. If he plans to seriously prepare for the MCAT at some point in the future, using a precious AAMC FL now would be a huge waste.

 

[QofQuimica]

Hi SDN.

I am a current third year undergrad. How do I convince my very controlling parents that I need to do a post bacc before entering med school. I did really bad my freshman year, but I learned from my mistake and it has been an upward trend. However, at the end of the day my gpa is not good enough for any med schools except maybe a low end D.O. They want me to take the MCAT literally in two months when I havent even prepared enough for it/taken all the classes necessary for it. My resume is not even built up enough. I'm striving for a good med school(that is why I want to do the post bacc because I know I deserve a good school) but they say that they won't pay my university fees if I don't apply this cycle.
I don't know what to do. I guess at the end of the day they cannot force me to take the MCAT but I am still so confused on how to deal with this situation.

Do you have a premed advisor at your school? I'd suggest meeting with this person, and, if you're comfortable with the idea, having him or her discuss your readiness for medical school with your parents. (Or maybe you and your parents could all meet with the advisor together.)

If this doesn't work, then you unfortunately have a difficult decision to make, because the alternative Golden Rule (he who has the gold, makes the rules) very much applies in this case. So basically, if you want to be independent and make your own decisions, you will have to stand up to your parents and accept that this means paying your own way from now on. But if you're not willing or not able to do that, and you are not able to change their minds, then your only other choice is to do what they want and apply now.

 

[NonTrad16]

Do you have a premed advisor at your school? I'd suggest meeting with this person, and, if you're comfortable with the idea, having him or her discuss your readiness for medical school with your parents. (Or maybe you and your parents could all meet with the advisor together.)

If this doesn't work, then you unfortunately have a difficult decision to make, because the alternative Golden Rule (he who has the gold, makes the rules) very much applies in this case. So basically, if you want to be independent and make your own decisions, you will have to stand up to your parents and accept that this means paying your own way from now on. But if you're not willing or not able to do that, and you are not able to change their minds, then your only other choice is to do what they want and apply now.

Looking at the OPs post history, their GPA may be 3.0 (or below). If they actually want to go to medical school, it seems wiser to drop the parental support (if that's necessary) to pursue the adequate steps for admission. I honestly don't think the bolded can be considered an option.

 

[Dr.Kitty]

Take out loans, were they going to pay for med school too?

 

[LikeDaniel]

I agree with your general sentiment, but I strongly disagree with the recommendation to use an AAMC FL. There are only three at the moment and only two will give you a score. If he plans to seriously prepare for the MCAT at some point in the future, using a precious AAMC FL now would be a huge waste.

Good point. My initial thought was so they could avoid their parents blaming it on the source material, but that's too precious to waste.

OP, I would alter what I initially said to include investigating a good test that will give you an idea of where you are. I know I've heard Next Step has a good one, but that might have been from someone sponsored by them.

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[QofQuimica]

Looking at the OPs post history, their GPA may be 3.0 (or below). If they actually want to go to medical school, it seems wiser to drop the parental support (if that's necessary) to pursue the adequate steps for admission. I honestly don't think the bolded can be considered an option.

Maybe she doesn't actually want to go to med school. And in that case, being passive aggressive to fail on purpose rather than openly defying her parents may be the route she prefers, particularly if, as I suspect, there are cultural issues at play here. If she does actually want to go to medical school, then I think we probably agree that she may not be able to do so as long as they are still calling the shots. So then the question is whether she wants to go badly enough that she would be willing to defy her parents and make her own decisions. To an American, sure, whatever, just drop the parental support. We're still a nation of rugged individualists, after all. But not everyone else does things the way we do.

 

[cristinayang16]

Maybe she doesn't actually want to go to med school. And in that case, being passive aggressive to fail on purpose rather than openly defying her parents may be the route she prefers, particularly if, as I suspect, there are cultural issues at play here. If she does actually want to go to medical school, then I think we probably agree that she may not be able to do so as long as they are still calling the shots. So then the question is whether she wants to go badly enough that she would be willing to defy her parents and make her own decisions. To an American, sure, whatever, just drop the parental support. We're still a nation of rugged individualists, after all. But not everyone else does things the way we do.

You are totally right about the culture thing! I was told since the second I could talk that I am going to be a doctor(or engineer but I hated that profession since my parents are that). So my whole life has been kind of been me going after this. However, I absolutely love the medical field and my experiences helped solidify the idea that I want to be a doctor. I talked to my advisor today and she also agreed with me, that I should not take the MCAT when I am not ready and never apply when I am not ready. Hopefully my parents listen, and if not I will have to be on loans. It's okay with me though, I have been wanting independence for a while.

Thanks for the help!!

 

[QofQuimica]

You are totally right about the culture thing! I was told since the second I could talk that I am going to be a doctor(or engineer but I hated that profession since my parents are that). So my whole life has been kind of been me going after this. However, I absolutely love the medical field and my experiences helped solidify the idea that I want want to be a doctor. I talked to my advisor today and she also agreed with me, that I should not take the MCAT when I am not ready and never apply when I am not ready. Hopefully my parents listen, and if not I will have to be on loans. It's okay with me though, I have been wanting independence for a while.

Thanks for the help!!

Good for you. I was a college junior too when my parents and I reached this "do what we say or we cut you off" impasse (only it was about my ex, not about med school). And while in retrospect I would have handled certain things a bit more....diplomatically than I did at the time, I have never regretted striking out on my own. We went through a few rough years, but we finally did find our way back to having a reasonable relationship again. Not that my mom doesn't still try to tell me how to run my life, mind you, and I'm twenty years older than you.

In all seriousness, you might want to see if your advisor would be willing to meet together with you and your parents. They might listen to her since she's an "adult" and an "expert." I hope that works. But even if it does work and your parents do keep funding you, you might want to still consider finding a PT job if you don't already have one. Take that money and save it. Every young woman should have her own rainy day fund.

Best of luck to you.

 

[Goro]

In their ignorance of this process, your parents are doing their best to destroy your chances at med school.

Get them accounts on SDN so they can listen to those of us who know about this process.

And put on your big girl pants and realize that you're an adult. They can't make you take the MCAT.

Hi SDN.

I am a current third year undergrad. How do I convince my very controlling parents that I need to do a post bacc before entering med school. I did really bad my freshman year, but I learned from my mistake and it has been an upward trend. However, at the end of the day my gpa is not good enough for any med schools except maybe a low end D.O. They want me to take the MCAT literally in two months when I havent even prepared enough for it/taken all the classes necessary for it. My resume is not even built up enough. I'm striving for a good med school(that is why I want to do the post bacc because I know I deserve a good school) but they say that they won't pay my university fees if I don't apply this cycle.
I don't know what to do. I guess at the end of the day they cannot force me to take the MCAT but I am still so confused on how to deal with this situation.