Crying During Interview

[flash123]

Does crying during an interview diminish acceptance chances? For a recent interview, I became a little choked up when discussing my father's health and immigration challenges (he was nearly deported and served time in jail). I had practiced extensively talking about these sensitive topics, but for some reason, couldn't keep some tears from falling when my interviewer brought up these issues. He offered a tissue and I was able to compose myself as well as talk about these challenging experiences, but I'm not sure how it would affect his evaluation of me.

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[TakotsuboOkazaki]

IMO, it would really depend on the personality and experience level of the interviewer. They could interpret it anywhere from genuine and understandable or an attempt at gaining pity points.

I would try and refrain from talking about those issues to the extent that you start crying and, if that’s not possible, perhaps refrain from talking about them.

I would say that any sign of emotional instability might make admissions worried about how you’ll handle those issues and future issues in your education and career.

It also makes a difference whether you shed a single tear and keep on going or if you completely loose it and start sobbing. The latter of which is probably not good for admissions chances.

My condolences for your struggles, but remember we all have them and people really, really admire those who can be strong in the wake of such things.

Best wishes.

 

[gyngyn]

Make sure that you can maintain your composure regarding any topic you include in the application.

 

[Goro]

Does crying during an interview diminish acceptance chances? For a recent interview, I became a little choked up when discussing my father's health and immigration challenges (he was nearly deported and served time in jail). I had practiced extensively talking about these sensitive topics, but for some reason, couldn't keep some tears from falling when my interviewer brought up these issues. He offered a tissue and I was able to compose myself as well as talk about these challenging experiences, but I'm not sure how it would affect his evaluation of me.

I've seen this happen exactly two times in nearly 20 years of interviewing, so it might have an impact. What's done is done and you have to look to the next interview, and, as the wise gyngyn points out, try to keep your composure.

 

[RNthenDoc]

Two of my upperclassmen claim to have bawled during their interviews and were accepted.

FWIW, both are female. Society sees people crying VERY differently based on gender.

Just ask my speeding ticket.

 

[atomi]

OP, Adcoms are humans too.

I Interview for residency. I wouldn’t hold this against you in the slightest.

Don’t worry about it.

 

[878956]

Two of my upperclassmen claim to have bawled during their interviews and were accepted.

FWIW, both are female. Society sees people crying VERY differently based on gender.

Just ask my speeding ticket.

Yea could not see this flying well if you were a man bawling out of your eyes...

 

[RNthenDoc]

Yea could not see this flying well if you were a man bawling out of your eyes...

“Officer I.... I..... I have two hundred grand in med school debt and don’t want to add a speeding ticket...........”

 

[freedoctor17]

“Officer I.... I..... I have two hundred grand in med school debt and don’t want to add a speeding ticket...........”

thanks for making my day haha

 

[freedoctor17]

Although on a serious note there's one topic that makes me get a little teared up (I keep myself from crying but I get clearly emotional) but I only wrote about it for the one school that asked for an autobiography so it probably won't come up except for maybe at that school. I don't think there's anything wrong with showing emotions, we are human. Just do your best to not let it prevent you from presenting yourself as best as possible.

 

[Angus Avagadro]

I might have considered a less emotional topic. Medical school is very stressful for all but the elite students. Managing the stress will be crucial for success. Is it possible there are remaining issues with your Father? Counseling might be in order. Good luck and best wishes

 

[Fangfeng]

I think there is something wrong with my facial nerve. Even reading this post makes me shed some crocodile tears.

 

[evasive fish]

Medical school is very stressful for all but the elite students.

What exactly do you mean by "elite" students? Just curious...

 

[mwsapphire]

What exactly do you mean by "elite" students? Just curious...

The robots, obviously.

 

[THEBACKANDFORTH]

I have a classmate who claims to have cried talking about a sensitive issue, but quickly regained composure and gave what im sure was a good interview. I imagine tearing up has a much different effect than ugly crying

 

[Stagg737]

Something else to keep in mind when writing about emotionally charged topics is that crying/breaking down during an interview isn't just a reflection on emotional stability. It reflects an applicant's judgment in regards to what they are capable of discussing appropriately.

If someone completely breaks down during an interview when discussing something they included in their application, my first question would be why they would even include that topic in their application. The interview is a time to showcase what you bring to the table in professional manner. It is NOT a time to lay out experiences that may be raw or make a situation awkward, as that opens too many "what if" doors for those interviewing you. I'd add that I think there's a difference between having a tear or two and maintaining/quickly regaining composure and fully breaking down. The former is something that I would ask more about as an interviewer and could end up as a pretty positive aspect, the latter would raise some red flags for me.

 

[Angus Avagadro]

What exactly do you mean by "elite" students? Just curious...

Elite students? Academics present little challenge to them. Summa Cum Laude. 519 MCAT. I have said in other threads my Wife went to class to socialize. Graduated university med school top 10%. She never had less than 8 hrs of sleep before an exam, and there were others much smarter. They breezed through med school with much less effort than the rest of us in the mosh pit of anatomy and biochem. That's what I mean by elite students.

 

[Goro]

Elite students? Academics present little challenge to them. Summa Cum Laude. 519 MCAT. I have said in other threads my Wife went to class to socialize. Graduated university med school top 10%. She never had less than 8 hrs of sleep before an exam, and there were others much smarter. They breezed through med school with much less effort than the rest of us in the mosh pit of anatomy and biochem. That's what I mean by elite students.

Our term for this is "firepower".

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Our term for this is "firepower".

 

[Tenk]

Honestly, if they reject you for that, you don’t want to go to that school anyways.

 

[Medic741]

When pressed about how I delt with pecs codes/suicides (which I wrote about in secondaries) by an interviewer, I openly admitted to taking time to cry after the event was over and I was in a quiet/private place, decompress for 5 mins then go on to the next call.

Was accepted to the program, that interviewer is now my advisor and says that this personal/intimate/healthy way of dealing with grief in an applicant stuck out & was seen as a positive. So... all is not lost and if you kept your cool after you may have made a better impression than you think

 

[DoctorPlzzz]

We were given advice recently for residency interviews and I have worked with the med school admissions as well.

1. It will depend on your interviewer. Crying for a significant part of the interview can be awkward, which is what the interviewer will associate with your file later on when they discuss applicants. It also doesn't let you answer interviewer questions.. (which can be weeks or even months after the interview).
2. Tearing up is one thing, but straight up bawling is another. One shows a range of emotion and the ability to compose oneself under pressure, while the other shows uncontrollable emotion in a professional setting.
3. You are competing with MANY applicants who have equally tear-jerking backgrounds. Learning to gain empathy, but without being annoying or awkward is a skill.
4. Losing composure and crying uncontrollable during the interview can be extrapolated into performance as a med student and eventually a physician when you will have enormous personal stress coupled with incredibly depressing patient situations in professional settings.

 

[Osminog]

Here's a trick: Bring a sack of onions and a kitchen knife with you to the interview. When you know you're about to lose your composure, take one of the onions out and start frantically chopping it. That way, the interviewer won't think anything of your crying; he'll just assume that you're trying to show off your culinary talents.

One of my close friends used this technique, and he got into the best medical school in St. Kitts. It should work for others as well.

 

[mistafab]

It’s a special club that is invitation only - very hush hush.

I just got back from our annual horseback, crossbow marksmanship tournament. No one smiled during the entire exposition. Smiling is not professional.

What exactly do you mean by "elite" students? Just curious...

The robots, obviously.

 

[joycegirl]

Just thinking about interviews is making me antsy and nervous!

 

[dr.grenouille]

Elite students? Academics present little challenge to them. Summa Cum Laude. 519 MCAT. I have said in other threads my Wife went to class to socialize. Graduated university med school top 10%. She never had less than 8 hrs of sleep before an exam, and there were others much smarter. They breezed through med school with much less effort than the rest of us in the mosh pit of anatomy and biochem. That's what I mean by elite students.

So what do you call the students that have that exact academic profile but constantly stress out, freak out, talk about how unprepared they are, and then are disappointed by their 93%? “I’m just so mad at myself for missing those questions!”

 

[Gorne]

Here's a trick: Bring a sack of onions and a kitchen knife with you to the interview. When you know you're about to lose your composure, take one of the onions out and start frantically chopping it. That way, the interviewer won't think anything of your crying; he'll just assume that you're trying to show off your culinary talents.

One of my close friends used this technique, and he got into the best medical school in St. Kitts. It should work for others as well.

Your friend probably could have used the knife to begin a blood letting ritual for Satan and smeared blood all over the walls and still gotten that acceptance.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

So what do you call the students that have that exact academic profile but constantly stress out, freak out, talk about how unprepared they are, and then are disappointed by their 93%? “I’m just so mad at myself for missing those questions!”

Neurotic.

 

[RNtoMD87]

If you just had a couple tears roll down your cheek? That means you're human. Crying steadily is different, but imo if an adcom docks you for being emotional about a topic, they are a neurotic robot and I hate to see them in that role. A couple tears doesn't mean you lost your composure. It just depends on how severe it was. I tear up when thinking about certain things in my past. I try to avoid thinking about them, but in certain situations it just comes to mind, and sometimes I wake up in a cold sweat and can't go back to sleep because of racing thoughts related to it. Some events impact you, some images are forever burned into your memory and they never really go away.

I've seen doctors and nurses, and as "manly" as I see myself, in certain situations (usually regarding children in bad situations) I have teared up. If you are incapable of feeling, and at times letting some emotion slip, you probably shouldn't work in healthcare.

 

[MedicineN'Jazz]

IMO, it would really depend on the personality and experience level of the interviewer. They could interpret it anywhere from genuine and understandable or an attempt at gaining pity points.

I would try and refrain from talking about those issues to the extent that you start crying and, if that’s not possible, perhaps refrain from talking about them.

I would say that any sign of emotional instability might make admissions worried about how you’ll handle those issues and future issues in your education and career.

It also makes a difference whether you shed a single tear and keep on going or if you completely loose it and start sobbing. The latter of which is probably not good for admissions chances.

My condolences for your struggles, but remember we all have them and people really, really admire those who can be strong in the wake of such things.

Best wishes.

LOL. I broke down at two interviews. Result: rejected from both Oh well, their loss.

 

[RNtoMD87]

I think it really just depends on how bad. If its something that made me obviously disturbed I would probably do some immersion therapy to make it not so bad. It really helped with me to get with other vets and discuss things. I've gotten to where I will tell my girlfriend about certain things, still not everything. I had to do something because it was driving her crazy when I would jump out of bed in the middle of the night in an absolute panic. Thankfully she is patient with me. I feel like every time I make myself experience it again, I get better, and it doesn't affect me as badly. Just a matter of making yourself. And time. Time helps.

 

[Stagg737]

4. Losing composure and crying uncontrollable during the interview can be extrapolated into performance as a med student and eventually a physician when you will have enormous personal stress coupled with incredibly depressing patient situations in professional settings.

This is the reason why breaking down is a red flag. A tear for a patient when they're going through something horrible can show empathy and build report. Straight up balling in front of a patient can be damaging to their care, especially if they're in a vulnerable place. Some patients will interpret it as "wow, my situation is so bad even my doc lost control". Other pts may just be frightened to receive treatment from a physician they see as unstable, something which can even be true if all you do is tear up. So while crying certainly can show your humanity, I believe emotional control is a required skill for every future physician, especially in some areas of medicine where you will deal with more fragile patients.

 

[ADSigMel]

I shed a couple of tears at one interview when asked about my dad, who was ill at the time and died a couple of weeks later. The interviewer (a student), actually cried with me. I was accepted. It might have been different if it had been an attending interviewing me and I had been flat-out ugly-crying and hyperventilating.