dating in med school?

[Jamorama]

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is dating in med school common or is it too tough to do with so many motivated, career-oriented individuals working so hard in community service and academics? i once heard a statistic that 30 percent of med school graduates marry someone from their class....wonder if its true...any thoughts?

 

[Cataract]

Why don't you post this in the Allo forum.

 

[armybound]

yes, a lot of people date and get married.

 

[pseudoknot]

No, this is a good question. In fact, my school, like many others these days, requires incoming students to sign an oath of celibacy in order to make sure our priorities stay appropriate.

 

[PeepshowJohnny]

Many students compare med school to being in high school again. Take that as you will.

 

[rvfb]

.

 

[TexanGirl]

Many students compare med school to being in high school again. Take that as you will.

Nooooooo! Say it ain't so!

 

[SoFlaKnight]

Nooooooo! Say it ain't so!

My mind is so warped by Guitar Hero & Rock Band, that I actually saw the pattern of the riff for that song come at me when I saw you write that😀

 

[LaMusicienne]

Nooooooo! Say it ain't so!

Ooohh, I've heard this comparison on numerous occassions! Might've even been likened to middle school, what with the gossip, everyone knowing each other. Guess that's the product of having the same schedule with 140 other people every day for two or more years... 😱

 

[narretgrez]

My mind is so warped by Guitar Hero & Rock Band, that I actually saw the pattern of the riff for that song come at me when I saw you write that😀

Lol, it's actually sad that I could relate to what you just wrote.

 

[pakbabydoll]

Many students compare med school to being in high school again. Take that as you will.

oh lord, a high school full of career oriented, geniuses! when I get in I'll probably the only "average" student there.

 

[0Complications]

No, this is a good question. In fact, my school, like many others these days, requires incoming students to sign an oath of celibacy in order to make sure our priorities stay appropriate.

That is just ridiculous. Sex eases my mind back into studying, because without it I can't think about anything but sex.

I think it's akin to the addage, "Sex is kind of like air, it's no big deal as long as you're getting plenty of it." Well, if you are forced to take it away... Ouch.

I've only seen one school do this and they were a devout mormon (or catholic) college. I didn't think any med schools had a program like this. All I know is that if they told me I had to sign an oath to this effect, I would laugh at them and walk away.

 

[mcnugget]

Many students compare med school to being in high school again. Take that as you will.

Yeah...my friend (3rd year at Emory) said the exact same thing

 

[pseudoknot]

I've only seen one school do this and they were a devout mormon (or catholic) college. I didn't think any med schools had a program like this. All I know is that if they told me I had to sign an oath to this effect, I would laugh at them and walk away.

I didn't actually think anyone would believe that. Most of my classmates are in relationships. If you're so freaked out about school all the time that you don't have anything else in your life you'll end up like this:

 

[TexasTriathlete]

is dating in med school common or is it too tough to do with so many motivated, career-oriented individuals working so hard in community service and academics? i once heard a statistic that 30 percent of med school graduates marry someone from their class....wonder if its true...any thoughts?

Yes, you will finally be able to get a date now that girls know you're going to be a doctor.

 

[Depakote]

Dating in med school is definitely possible...

Advisable?

Well, just keep in mind that everyone in your class will be insanely smart and very type A. If you can find someone that you click with, then you'll be seeing them every day for the next 4 years. This can be a great thing or a bad thing, depending on how much exposure you like in your relationships.

Personally, I'm dating one of my classmates. So far, it's going great. I don't think it's for everybody but I'm thrilled with how it's going so as long as you know what you're getting into, go for it.

 

[maestro1625]

Ooohh, I've heard this comparison on numerous occassions! Might've even been likened to middle school, what with the gossip, everyone knowing each other. Guess that's the product of having the same schedule with 140 other people every day for two or more years... 😱

or if you went to a small LAC like me, you've been in HS for about a decade now.

 

[doinmybest5840]

Many students compare med school to being in high school again. Take that as you will.

I didn't date in high school. 🙁

 

[ucsdhibiscus]

I have a boyfriend who isn't going to medical school.
I hope he will figure out how to deal with having a neurotic pre-med now a neurotic med student as a significant other lol
fun times

 

[Food]

is dating in med school common or is it too tough to do with so many motivated, career-oriented individuals working so hard in community service and academics? i once heard a statistic that 30 percent of med school graduates marry someone from their class....wonder if its true...any thoughts?

I was thinking about it too. As long as you don't pop out a kid or two, should be okay, neh?

Well, if you do, at least you'll have witnessed a delivery or two, so you shouldn't faint as quickly when your girlfriend does give birth...unless...behold...quintuplets!

 

[ChubbyChaser]

or if you went to a small LAC like me, you're been in HS for about a decade now.

6.5 years now

 

[TigerSoup]

My mind is so warped by Guitar Hero & Rock Band, that I actually saw the pattern of the riff for that song come at me when I saw you write that😀

True that. The really pressing question is whether there's going to be enough like-minded people to fill my Rock Band. Particularly someone who can sing and someone selfless enough to play bass.

 

[Geekchick921]

True that. The really pressing question is whether there's going to be enough like-minded people to fill my Rock Band. Particularly someone who can sing and someone selfless enough to play bass.

I'd only sing or play lead guitar. 😉

 

[URHere]

True that. The really pressing question is whether there's going to be enough like-minded people to fill my Rock Band. Particularly someone who can sing and someone selfless enough to play bass.

Hey, I play bass, there have to be more of us out there somewhere, right? It's funny but I think I would prefer playing in a band during med school to dating in med school...I'm very laid-back and I'm still a bit worried that dating a type-A classmate would make my head implode...

 

[Depakote]

True that. The really pressing question is whether there's going to be enough like-minded people to fill my Rock Band. Particularly someone who can sing and someone selfless enough to play bass.

I think you'll be ok there... I've run into a number of Guitar Hero addicts and when I do finally get rock band, I'm expecting plenty of my classmates to be joining me.

 

[VoiceofReason]

For some reason, I think a type A significant other would work well for me. I'm going to pour my heart and soul into my medical career, starting with medical school, and I'd rather have someone who wants to do the same. I'm kind of perplexed by the predominant attitude on this board. I keep hearing people say that not only would they dislike dating someone as driven as they are, but that they don't even want to date someone who digs medicine. Just doesn't make sense to me. I think having a girlfriend that didn't like medicine and didn't understand medical school would drive me bonkers.

 

[SoFlaKnight]

For some reason, I think a type A significant other would work well for me. I'm going to pour my heart and soul into my medical career, starting with medical school, and I'd rather have someone who wants to do the same. I'm kind of perplexed by the predominant attitude on this board. I keep hearing people say that not only would they dislike dating someone as driven as they are, but that they don't even want to date someone who digs medicine. Just doesn't make sense to me. I think having a girlfriend that didn't like medicine and didn't understand medical school would drive me bonkers.

I recently just broke up with someone of over 2 years who couldn't handle the "medicine will always come first" talk...In retrospect, 2 months later, it has been the best decision of my life since it was starting to interfere with my classes. If someone can't accept your drive and passion in what is going to consume your life for the next 40+ years NEXT THEM...

...and also uhh ladies, I'm back on the market lol 😉

 

[TigerSoup]

I recently just broke up with someone of over 2 years who couldn't handle the "medicine will always come first" talk...In retrospect, 2 months later, it has been the best decision of my life since it was starting to interfere with my classes. If someone can't accept your drive and passion in what is going to consume your life for the next 40+ years NEXT THEM...

...and also uhh ladies, I'm back on the market lol 😉

Really? *First*? *Always*? Sounds harsh to me, but maybe because I'm more attuned to the belief that balancing family and career requires compromises on both sides, with the whole woman in medicine thing.

 

[Spin]

I have a boyfriend who isn't going to medical school.
I hope he will figure out how to deal with having a neurotic pre-med now a neurotic med student as a significant other lol
fun times

woohoo, me too! We're both somewhere in between type A and B, so it works, and hopefully will continue to work in med school

Really? *First*? *Always*? Sounds harsh to me, but maybe because I'm more attuned to the belief that balancing family and career requires compromises on both sides, with the whole woman in medicine thing.

I think family should come first, but medicine is a very close second. It's possible to put family first and still be a great doctor.

 

[qtpai]

Really? *First*? *Always*? Sounds harsh to me, but maybe because I'm more attuned to the belief that balancing family and career requires compromises on both sides, with the whole woman in medicine thing.

What woman in medicine thing?

 

[TigerSoup]

What woman in medicine thing?

Ok, well, I guess I was over-generalizing. Overall, I think my female premed friends are much more concerned about balancing their careers and family than my male premed friends. Certainly I have some male friends who worry equally as much and more, but generally I've seen more guys wondering "I wonder if I'll ever get to see my kids" (ie, what will the quality of our relationship be) than the specific points of pregnancy timing, who'll actually take care of the kids during the day, etc, as many of my female friends would.

Though I imagine if you're at the point of actually making family decisions, it's a huge concern for both people. And, from what I've seen through working alongside residents married with kids to other residents, both husband and wife have to pitch in to make it work (which is why I suggested that telling someone "Medicine will always come first" might be overly extreme). We're at an age when both sexes have to think about "how am I going to balance medicine and family?". Still, I think women tend to worry about it a good deal more and probably foresee future compromises from further away.

 

[qtpai]

I see what you're saying then.

But these worries do not necessarily apply to everyone, as your latest post might imply. I do not worry about having a family at all, and I hope I do not come close to marriage or a family. If I do, I am certain that I will not be an attentive father or husband.

In any case, it does seem very curious that he would hold his attitude, though, if he desires both such an extreme career in medicine and a woman who is like-minded. Though this may be more possible if he does not desire kids. In that case, it could be conceived of as a partnership as much as a traditional marriage.

Which is actually one of the few ways I can consider getting married.

 

[Phenol312]

I dont see any problem with dating a wide variety of women in medical school...I do see a problem with starting a long term committed relationship, however.

...but that could just be me...i dont advise starting LTRs before 25 as per Leykis 101. Say what you will about the man but his logic is sound...most of the time.

 

[Depakote]

I recently just broke up with someone of over 2 years who couldn't handle the "medicine will always come first" talk...In retrospect, 2 months later, it has been the best decision of my life since it was starting to interfere with my classes. If someone can't accept your drive and passion in what is going to consume your life for the next 40+ years NEXT THEM...

...and also uhh ladies, I'm back on the market lol 😉

You might want to re-consider your priorities. Those next 40+ years can be very lonely if you aren't willing to put family first when appropriate.

 

[LikeClockWork]

or if you went to a small LAC like me, you've been in HS for about a decade now.

Thank you! I wondered if I was the only one who felt this way. When everyone is only one degree of separation from everyone in their school, rumors and gossip run rampant!

 

[Ginzo]

I recently just broke up with someone of over 2 years who couldn't handle the "medicine will always come first" talk...In retrospect, 2 months later, it has been the best decision of my life since it was starting to interfere with my classes. If someone can't accept your drive and passion in what is going to consume your life for the next 40+ years NEXT THEM...

...and also uhh ladies, I'm back on the market lol 😉

Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt have nothing on your smooth moves.

 

[VoiceofReason]

You might want to re-consider your priorities. Those next 40+ years can be very lonely if you aren't willing to put family first when appropriate.

Meh, of course thats true. Seems like a platitude to me. Fact is, even the most distinguished of doctors (giant contributors to both the advancement and practice of medicine) still have normal home lives. I don't think it's unreasonable to ditch people who don't truly understand and support your ambitions. This goes both ways, too. There is enough time in a life to be successful both career-wise and relationship-wise. The trick is finding the right person so that you both enjoy the "equilibrium", so to speak, that is established between the two.

Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt have nothing on your smooth moves.

Johnny Depp is a clown but I will admit to having a gay crush on Brad Pitt.

 

[doinmybest5840]

Johnny Depp is not a clown! He's infinitely better than Brad Pitt, who is a complete tool. Although I will say, seeing him sing in Sweeney Todd will likely be entertaining.

 

[Pegasus1731]

I have a boyfriend who isn't going to medical school.
I hope he will figure out how to deal with having a neurotic pre-med now a neurotic med student as a significant other lol
fun times

I feel your pain! My boyfriend is an aerospace engineering major at UofM, and I'm going to be going to med school in Missouri! Who knows how that's going to work out 😕

 

[nc0821]

Figures my first post pertains to this topic, ha....but I would be lying if I said this hasn't crossed my mind once or twice.

Is the general consensus that most people in medical school are in relationships (namely year 1 and 2)? If so, maybe I need to get on the ball after all...

 

[ucsdhibiscus]

I feel your pain! My boyfriend is an aerospace engineering major at UofM, and I'm going to be going to med school in Missouri! Who knows how that's going to work out 😕

Will your boyfriend be in Michigan or Minnesota? I guess either isn't Missouri! Goodluck!
At least for me since my boyfriend isn't in school he can move with me to where ever I get accepted.

 

[Law2Doc]

i once heard a statistic that 30 percent of med school graduates marry someone from their class....wonder if its true...any thoughts?

Based on what I have seen, there is no way this is true. There are usually only a couple of intra-classmate marriages (single digit percentages, at best). A good percentage of folks will show up to med school already spoken for. A large percentage of the remaining folks choose to date outside the school, or at least the class, rather than commit intra-class incest or provide fodder for the rumor mill.

Besides, the folks in med school are the ones least impressed with someone who is on track to become a doctor. So your dating credentials carry more weight elsewhere.

 

[0Complications]

You might want to re-consider your priorities. Those next 40+ years can be very lonely if you aren't willing to put family first when appropriate.

My family will be the hospital staff and my coworkers. I will probably have a few girlfriends to fill the few hours that I'm not working, but I don't really want a family so it all works out in the long run and I'm assuming I'm not the only guy/girl on the planet who shares this view.

 

[Geekchick921]

Johnny Depp is not a clown! He's infinitely better than Brad Pitt, who is a complete tool. Although I will say, seeing him sing in Sweeney Todd will likely be entertaining.

I approve of this message! 👍

 

[bruinator]

My mind is so warped by Guitar Hero & Rock Band, that I actually saw the pattern of the riff for that song come at me when I saw you write that😀

Word.

 

[SoFlaKnight]

My family will be the hospital staff and my coworkers. I will probably have a few girlfriends to fill the few hours that I'm not working, but I don't really want a family so it all works out in the long run and I'm assuming I'm not the only guy/girl on the planet who shares this view.

A man after my own heart...Care to wingman?

 

[maestro1625]

My family will be the hospital staff and my coworkers. I will probably have a few girlfriends to fill the few hours that I'm not working, but I don't really want a family so it all works out in the long run and I'm assuming I'm not the only guy/girl on the planet who shares this view.

that sounds like a sad, sad life.

be sure that you tell your interviewers of these plans so you can be rejected accordingly.

 

[Jolie South]

that sounds like a sad, sad life.

i'm sorry, but i concur.

 

[utahjazz]

that sounds like a sad, sad life.

be sure that you tell your interviewers of these plans so you can be rejected accordingly.

Maybe it sounds like a sad life for you, but not everyone has the same goals and desires as you do. It's a bit rude to assume that someone has a problem because they aren't like you.

 

[diggitybop]

i'm in my first year, went into it single. am trying to date a girl outside of school but its difficult. i'm finding myself scheduling dates like three weeks in advance, which is pretty ridiculous when you are trying to start a relationship. in my case so far the person has been understanding but is obviously starting to get slightly annoyed. so what can i say, its tough and in my case not sure if its doable (by doable i mean ultimately possible cuz you definitely can make time to simply go out and have fun).