dating in pharm school

[SHC1984]

It's official... SDN can turn every topic into a saturation thread.

I wasn't trying to turn it into a saturation thread. Forget what I say, just someone answer me. If you are dating your classmate and you both just graduated, what r you both going to do if you can't find jobs in the same city?

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[hckyplyr]

I wasn't trying to turn it into a saturation thread. Forget what I say, just someone answer me. If you are dating your classmate and you both just graduated, what r you both going to do if you can't find jobs in the same city?

breakup yo.....easy come easy go!

 

[nrsair]

I wasn't trying to turn it into a saturation thread. Forget what I say, just someone answer me. If you are dating your classmate and you both just graduated, what r you both going to do if you can't find jobs in the same city?

Depends on how serious it is. Living together/looking to get married? Someone's gotta compromise... live in between where you can find jobs and suck up the commute or live together and wait until something comes open. If it's not serious, break up or keep dating and see each other when possible. I kept a high school girlfriend for a few months into college... the weekends we saw each other were...

 

[crazybob]

You can both try to get jobs in different places (if it becomes necessary) and live in a city between the two places, or live in one city and one of you can commute.

 

[Ackj]

I don't want to get off topic but TWO pharmacists? If you were dating and married a classmate HOW ON EARTH r you both going to be able to land a job in the SAME city upon graduation? That is my question. It is already impossible to find ONE job position. HOW r you both going to find TWO job positions that will hired you both in the same city? HOW?

Just a thought...I think if you r dating your classmate you will end up breaking up after graduation b/c you will have to move around to *maybe* find a job.

You've got a business partner to open an independent with I suppose. Financing that when you're both fresh grads with debt...

 

[SHC1984]

breakup yo.....easy come easy go!

What's the point of dating him or her if you know you will breakup for sure?

Thanks for the responses.

 

[rxlea]

What's the point of dating him or her if you know you will breakup for sure?

Thanks for the responses.

To pass the time? Sexual relations? Companionship? Lots of reasons to date someone.

 

[SHC1984]

To pass the time? Sexual relations? Companionship? Lots of reasons to date someone.

Good points....I get attached really easily though, so if I knew something wasn't going to work out for SURE, then I usually avoid it. I wish I don't get attached easily though. LOL...then what you say would be great. Date and Dump every few months don't sound bad if you don't really get attached.

 

[All4MyDaughter]

I know a number of couples from my current classmates and from my classmates at the other school. Quite a few of them have found jobs in the same city. It is not impossible to find a pharmacist job, especially if both people have work experience and are well networked. But sheesh allmighty, lets not turn this thread into one of THOSE conversations.

 

[crazybob]

Good points....I get attached really easily though, so if I knew something wasn't going to work out for SURE, then I usually avoid it. I wish I don't get attached easily though. LOL...then what you say would be great. Date and Dump every few months don't sound bad if you don't really get attached.

Sometimes you don't know where it goes, and you just have to take a chance. Even if things don't seem perfect the first time.

And how can you be 100% sure that you and someone else will not work out? You don't know for certain what the other person is thinking or going through unless you read minds.

 

[hckyplyr]

Good points....I get attached really easily though, so if I knew something wasn't going to work out for SURE, then I usually avoid it. I wish I don't get attached easily though. LOL...then what you say would be great. Date and Dump every few months don't sound bad if you don't really get attached.

You just need more practice at it SHC...haha. I always got very attached to my girlfriends at first, but honestly, the more I've had, the easier it is to say goodbye to each one. I heard on the radio today that the more girlfriends/boyfriends/hook ups you've had, the less likely you are not to get married. I'm beginning to believe that...haha

 

[pharm B]

Good points....I get attached really easily though...

Date and Dump every few months don't sound bad if you don't really get attached.

Wait, you meant to people?!

 

[crazybob]

You just need more practice at it SHC...haha. I always got very attached to my girlfriends at first, but honestly, the more I've had, the easier it is to say goodbye to each one. I heard on the radio today that the more girlfriends/boyfriends/hook ups you've had, the less likely you are not to get married. I'm beginning to believe that...haha

So you didn't develop any strong feelings for them? I think it depends more on how close and personal you two were, and that determines how difficult it can be to say goodbye.

 

[rxlea]

I don't get why ALL relationships would need to be "serious"... Whatever happened to just passing the time? Or having a "casual" relationship? Not every person that comes along has to be marriage material. I mean, why not enjoy your time together and build a good relationship (friendship?) whatever and stop worrying about all the other stuff. When you're young, you don't even know what you want most of the time anyway. Dating helps you learn about yourself and your needs/wants. It also helps you learn how to be a better partner. This doesn't mean you approach a dating relationship in a shallow (not a synonym for "casual" IMO!) way- it can still be meaningful... It just doesn't need to be "the one" everytime. Maybe I am alone in my opinion on this but if I thought that every person that came along was "the one" I would be so freaking jaded and as Air Supply says, "All Out of Love"

 

[UES Girl]

I don't get why ALL relationships would need to be "serious"... Whatever happened to just passing the time? Or having a "casual" relationship? Not every person that comes along has to be marriage material. I mean, why not enjoy your time together and build a good relationship (friendship?) whatever and stop worrying about all the other stuff. When you're young, you don't even know what you want most of the time anyway. Dating helps you learn about yourself and your needs/wants. It also helps you learn how to be a better partner. This doesn't mean you approach a dating relationship in a shallow (not a synonym for "casual" IMO!) way- it can still be meaningful... It just doesn't need to be "the one" everytime. Maybe I am alone in my opinion on this but if I thought that every person that came along was "the one" I would be so freaking jaded and as Air Supply says, "All Out of Love"

You are not alone in your opinion for sure, my bf is def not a marriage material yet 6 years down the road he is still around. both of us are too selfish and needy to separate so we are just passing time until things happen
or I move away for residency. We call each other kindly:" my temporary so".

 

[hckyplyr]

So you didn't develop any strong feelings for them? I think it depends more on how close and personal you two were, and that determines how difficult it can be to say goodbye.

Well of course I developed strong feelings for them. But my first gf I thought I was going to die after we broke up, that I would never find another girl like her again. Second gf, It was hard as hell but a bit easier than the first. Third gf, easier than the second. I guess I realized the more people Ive dated or have been "casual" with, that there are tons of people out there, and when one door closes, literallly another opens. I do not think there is "one" person for us in this world. That is dumb to even think that, if there was "one" person only, the chances of finding them would be impossible. I really think there are probably 1000's of people in this world that I could marry, and be happy with.
Rxlea is dead on. Instead of saying everything again that she stated, I'll just say I agree exactly! Man, I hope I didnt just make myself sound like a manwhore....haha

 

[wes011]

I'd set my sights a little higher than classmate, I'd go after the single residents or slightly older preceptor.

 

[crazybob]

I'd set my sights a little higher than classmate, I'd go after the single residents or slightly older preceptor.

The whole dating a preceptor thing seems kinda risky to me. Are you talking about preceptors who never worked with you or ones who have worked with you?

 

[All4MyDaughter]

The whole dating a preceptor thing seems kinda risky to me. Are you talking about preceptors who never worked with you or ones who have worked with you?

I'm pretty sure he's joking. Messing with someone who can tank your education and/or career is bad news bears.

 

[UES Girl]

I'm pretty sure he's joking. Messing with someone who can tank your education and/or career is bad news bears.

I hope so, also seems like epitome of unprofessionalism to me.

 

[mustang sally]

I don't get why ALL relationships would need to be "serious"... Whatever happened to just passing the time? Or having a "casual" relationship? Not every person that comes along has to be marriage material. I mean, why not enjoy your time together and build a good relationship (friendship?) whatever and stop worrying about all the other stuff. When you're young, you don't even know what you want most of the time anyway. Dating helps you learn about yourself and your needs/wants. It also helps you learn how to be a better partner. This doesn't mean you approach a dating relationship in a shallow (not a synonym for "casual" IMO!) way- it can still be meaningful... It just doesn't need to be "the one" everytime. Maybe I am alone in my opinion on this but if I thought that every person that came along was "the one" I would be so freaking jaded and as Air Supply says, "All Out of Love"

I used to love Air Supply, haven't thought of that music in years. Now I am going to have that song stuck in my head the rest of the day.

 

[All4MyDaughter]

I hope so, also seems like epitome of unprofessionalism to me.

It's unprofessional on the part of the student AND the preceptor. It's also possibly against school policy (depending on the school). I have to really question the judgment of a preceptor/professor who would get involved with a student.

 

[Facetious1]

I'd set my sights a little higher than classmate, I'd go after the single residents or slightly older preceptor.

The whole dating a preceptor thing seems kinda risky to me. Are you talking about preceptors who never worked with you or ones who have worked with you?

I'm pretty sure he's joking. Messing with someone who can tank your education and/or career is bad news bears.

I hope so, also seems like epitome of unprofessionalism to me.

It's unprofessional on the part of the student AND the preceptor. It's also possibly against school policy (depending on the school). I have to really question the judgment of a preceptor/professor who would get involved with a student.

I made this name to be anonymous but I have experience with this. I met a preceptor for a date before but we didn't meet at school and we didn't know each other from school. We got together a couple times and nothing ever happened in an intimate way but I ain't gonna lie that the attraction was there at first. It's not there anymore and we still talk sometimes and we've seen each other on campus because the preceptor is also a lecturer. I get it how something like this can screw your career and everything but I like that I have a friend I can talk to about pharmacy stuff and I decided I am not gonna rotate at that site anyway. from the outside it looks unprofessional and maybe it is but this person isn't responsible for any of my grades or anything so i think it is in a grey area. People get really hung up on this stuff but until they are in the situation i think it is hard to understand. i told people about my situation and those people seem to like to remind me of how terrible it is. and that's kind of annoying and hurtful. go ahead and berate me now!

 

[Pharmacy Kid]

... from the outside it looks unprofessional and maybe it is but this person isn't responsible for any of my grades or anything so i think it is in a grey area. People get really hung up on this stuff but until they are in the situation i think it is hard to understand. i told people about my situation and those people seem to like to remind me of how terrible it is. and that's kind of annoying and hurtful. go ahead and berate me now![/QUOTE]

 

[All4MyDaughter]

I made this name to be anonymous but I have experience with this. I met a preceptor for a date before but we didn't meet at school and we didn't know each other from school. We got together a couple times and nothing ever happened in an intimate way but I ain't gonna lie that the attraction was there at first. It's not there anymore and we still talk sometimes and we've seen each other on campus because the preceptor is also a lecturer. I get it how something like this can screw your career and everything but I like that I have a friend I can talk to about pharmacy stuff and I decided I am not gonna rotate at that site anyway. from the outside it looks unprofessional and maybe it is but this person isn't responsible for any of my grades or anything so i think it is in a grey area. People get really hung up on this stuff but until they are in the situation i think it is hard to understand. i told people about my situation and those people seem to like to remind me of how terrible it is. and that's kind of annoying and hurtful. go ahead and berate me now!

My point remains pretty much unchanged. Specific situations aside, in general it is inappropriate for faculty and students to become involved. Even if nothing improper occurs, I think it's best to avoid even the appearance of impropriety. That said, I think that when it does occur, it's mostly on the faculty member because he or she is the "adult" in the relationship and has all of the power and therefore, most of the responsibility for the situation. When I was a faculty member and instructor during my previous career, I avoided socializing with students, period. For me, it was just easier that way. One charge of inappropriate conduct towards a student can tank a career and I didn't want to risk it. My immediate predecessor in that position was fired after she had a consenual affair with a student.

 

[joetrisman]

I'd set my sights a little higher than classmate, I'd go after the single residents or slightly older preceptor.

Meh, most of the students, preceptors, and residents are overweight and/or not attractive.

 

[rxlea]

Meh, most of the students, preceptors, and residents are overweight and/or not attractive.

Bummer. Where do you go to school?

There's a lot of good looking peeps here

 

[wes011]

Okay, when I read these comments I believe a quote from Sgt. Hulka is in order. "Lighten up Frances". Stripes is a great movie for the record.

Yes, I was joking with my comment about aiming a little higher up on the totem pole. I was basically suggesting to date somebody that makes an income now, when you are poor...the whole sugar momma/sugar daddy thing.

When I worked as a GTA for a large state university they had a policy, about employees dating their students, however, they also pointed out that you could date students of the university as long as you did not instruct them.

Now this relates to the current topic because 1) at my school preceptors are not paid, therefore, they are not university employees and 2) what if you are in your final year of school and you want to date a resident or preceptor that is a school affiliated preceptor but not your preceptor.

It could be highly unprofessional by both parties and it could also be accepted. It depends on the situation.

Just food for thought.

 

[All4MyDaughter]

Now this relates to the current topic because 1) at my school preceptors are not paid, therefore, they are not university employees and 2) what if you are in your final year of school and you want to date a resident or preceptor that is a school affiliated preceptor but not your preceptor.

It could be highly unprofessional by both parties and it could also be accepted. It depends on the situation.

Just food for thought.

I admit to being very, very conservative about this, due to past experiences and seeing the aftermath of situations like this (I described one above).

Since we go to the same school, I'll say that I can think of a number of ways this could go wrong and almost all of them would end badly for the student. If you want more info about my school specific insights on this, we can talk privately.

The only way I'd see it working ok would be if the preceptor/resident you wanted to date was 1) ONLY a volunteer preceptor and not on the faculty in any way, 2) not YOUR preceptor and 3) you were not going to rotate at that preceptor's practice site at all during APPE.

But... I still don't think your wife would like it much...

 

[wes011]

I admit to being very, very conservative about this, due to past experiences and seeing the aftermath of situations like this (I described one above).

Since we go to the same school, I'll say that I can think of a number of ways this could go wrong and almost all of them would end badly for the student. If you want more info about my school specific insights on this, we can talk privately.

The only way I'd see it working ok would be if the preceptor/resident you wanted to date was 1) ONLY a volunteer preceptor and not on the faculty in any way, 2) not YOUR preceptor and 3) you were not going to rotate at that preceptor's practice site at all during APPE.

But... I still don't think your wife would like it much...

Yeah I don't think my wife would continue to support me while I was in school if I did something like that.

I agree, what you outlined is exactly how it would have to go down, and it really all depends on a lot of things. I think transparency would have to be the key (transparency with the administration of the university).

 

[wes011]

I hope so, also seems like epitome of unprofessionalism to me.

I don't think this is the epitome of unprofessionalism but that is just my opinion. I am pretty sure you can see the epitome of unprofessionalism everyday in class or at work. It's everywhere.

 

[All4MyDaughter]

I don't think this is the epitome of unprofessionalism but that is just my opinion. I am pretty sure you can see the epitome of unprofessionalism everyday in class or at work. It's everywhere.

It's definitely not the worst or most unprofessional thing a student can do. There's lying, cheating, stealing, etc if one is striving to epitomize unprofessionalism...

 

[UES Girl]

I don't think this is the epitome of unprofessionalism but that is just my opinion. I am pretty sure you can see the epitome of unprofessionalism everyday in class or at work. It's everywhere.

What can I possibly see in class that's unprofessional and this level of unprofessionalism ? I don't really look around, just look at my lectures notes while trying to stay awake.

I guess I don't know what your definition of preceptor is, we have different types of preceptor at school - some precept for classes like therapeutics case conferences, some for appes, some for other classes and or lead small discussion groups. Either way, I could never imagine dating one of those people ( and trust me some are good looking, we are californians after all) - just seems like too much of an authority discrepancy to me and the school, read dean's office would never look favorably on this.

 

[TemSirolimus]

why date at all?

is this a modern invention? It is so non - instinctual. If it wasnt, marriage would be a walk in the park, not a second full time job.

Plus, anybody here not get completely bored with their gfs after like 6 months of dating and want out for another hunt? I guess I am having too much fun, and too many very angry ex-gfs.

 

[UES Girl]

why date at all?

is this a modern invention? It is so non - instinctual. If it wasnt, marriage would be a walk in the park, not a second full time job.

Plus, anybody here not get completely bored with their gfs after like 6 months of dating and want out for another hunt? I guess I am having too much fun, and too many very angry ex-gfs.

Fun is good but a partner is good too. Guess who's been cooking me every meal, brewing me coffee several times a day, doing my laundry, cleaning and pretty much everything else this while while I go to class and then study for 14 hrs straight to cramm for the 6 finals next week ? BF

 

[All4MyDaughter]

Dating is ehhhhhh. I like being married. Especially when my husband brings me dinner and rubs my back and is super sweet to me.

 

[TemSirolimus]

Fun is good but a partner is good too. Guess who's been cooking me every meal, brewing me coffee several times a day, doing my laundry, cleaning and pretty much everything else this while while I go to class and then study for 14 hrs straight to cramm for the 6 finals next week ? BF

A little overboard there, but not wanting to date anyone does not imply that I am any less caring. I wouldn't mind doing some of the things you described there for someone I care about (probably minus laundry).

Dating is ehhhhhh. I like being married. Especially when my husband brings me dinner and rubs my back and is super sweet to me.

lol at marriage.

 

[crazybob]

lol at marriage.

I used to think this too. Now, I'm not so sure. Not because I'm married, but I've seriously thought about it. But just once.

Now I'm back to being not sure about marriage, but I wouldn't say "zomg lawlz @ marriage"

 

[hckyplyr]

why date at all?

is this a modern invention? It is so non - instinctual. If it wasnt, marriage would be a walk in the park, not a second full time job.

Plus, anybody here not get completely bored with their gfs after like 6 months of dating and want out for another hunt? I guess I am having too much fun, and too many very angry ex-gfs.

I like your style!!!!

 

[hckyplyr]

Fun is good but a partner is good too. Guess who's been cooking me every meal, brewing me coffee several times a day, doing my laundry, cleaning and pretty much everything else this while while I go to class and then study for 14 hrs straight to cramm for the 6 finals next week ? BF

Someones whipped...............And you think a guy that does this for you considers himself your "temporary so" ??? If I considered a girl "temporary", I wouldn't be doing half of those things...strike that.....any of those things.....Dont be surprised when he gets down on one knee

 

[Lubeckd]

I asked my friend how dating was in pharmacy school. First thing she said was "dont worry, there are a lot of asians there" I since I am asian.
Another one said "Dating is harddd, you have to find freshmens" and Im like