Deteriorating social skills

[NontradCA]

It sounds to me that most of the Internet drama on this topic is caused by people's differing definitions of what a "creep" is, tbh.

You said that there are people who ignore you when you say hi, and have a few that actively avoid you. I think that's universally creepy guy.

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[VCorp]

cliffs on thread?

 

[Arkangeloid]

You said that there are people who ignore you when you say hi, and have a few that actively avoid you. I think that's universally creepy guy.

Well, we all have enemies, and we all have people who rub us the wrong way (so to speak). I think there would be cause for concern if many or even most people were avoiding me. But that doesn't seem to be the case, it's just a few girls.

 

[NontradCA]

Well, we all have enemies, and we all have people who rub us the wrong way (so to speak). I think there would be cause for concern if many or even most people were avoiding me. But that doesn't seem to be the case, it's just a few girls.

Fair enough, but you make it a point to emphasis their sex and looks. From the information you share on these forums, including how the women are not interested in you physically, you come off as creepy. To women at least. I think it's funny.

 

[Arkangeloid]

Fair enough, but you make it a point to emphasis their sex and looks. From the information you share on these forums, including how the women are not interested in you physically, you come off as creepy. To women at least. I think it's funny.

Well, I just find it weird that no man has ever acted that way towards me, at least not so far in my life. I don't know why that is.

 

[NontradCA]

Well, I just find it weird that no man has ever acted that way towards me, at least not so far in my life. I don't know why that is.

Well, it's obvious you're more comfortable around men. You think people can't tell when you're anxious or acting fake? It's a turn off.

 

[DermViser]

Well, I just find it weird that no man has ever acted that way towards me, at least not so far in my life. I don't know why that is.

Men aren't as picky as women are when it comes to who to befriend. Usually as long as you don't sleep with a guy's girl you're cool in his books. Women tend to be a little more pickier than that on who to associate with.

 

[DermViser]

Well, it's obvious you're more comfortable around men. You think people can't tell when you're anxious or acting fake? It's a turn off.

Bingo. Women can catch that easily.

 

[touchpause13]

@touchpause13 , yes we get it, all PIV is rape. But in the real world...


https://www.cloudy.ec/v/09b18e827769e

 

[Arkangeloid]

Bingo. Women can catch that easily.

Well then, I guess I'm stuck between Scylla and Charybdis. If I act like the way I act around my dude friends, I'll be a "creeper." But if I don't, then women can tell that I'm faking.

 

[punkedoutriffs]

Well then, I guess I'm stuck between Scylla and Charybdis. If I act like the way I act around my dude friends, I'll be a "creeper." But if I don't, then women can tell that I'm faking.

You probably just need to spend more time around girls until you have your own natural "way" about them so that you're neither treating them like dudes nor are you being a faker. Growing pains, my friend. Everybody's gotta have them sometime. Don't sweat it. 5 years down the line it won't be much of an issue.

 

[CherryRedDracul]

You probably just need to spend more time around girls until you have your own natural "way" about them so that you're neither treating them like dudes nor are you being a faker. Growing pains, my friend. Everybody's gotta have them sometime. Don't sweat it. 5 years down the line it won't be much of an issue.

This. Ark, I know you may possible have Aspergers as you admitted sometime ago, but its still very possible you can become socially successful. Do you remember that I wrote about one of my friends with Aspergers who has a cute girlfriend and who is socially well-adjusted now? It may take time and work, but don't give up.

When I'm around girls, I have a tendency to treat them like dudes ... or perhaps, more accurately, I treat them similarly regardless of sex or gender or anything. I find no need to put up a front or fake who I really am. I put myself out there, naked and exposed. People like to see the truth and generally like people who are genuine.

 

[graviton]

women can tell that I'm faking.

Sounds like you need to take some seminars.

 

[jdh71]

This x 10. How is this so hard to figure out?

Be friendly with fat ugly smart girls.

Alright. This is a fair general assessment of reality. The truth is that men as a group do come off as slightly more...menacing and space-occupying, if that makes sense. if it doesn't, I'm willing to follow-up with better description. That said, when someone you are attracted to invades your space...brings their energy into your space with romantic intent, it is not off-putting or invasive (aside from the idiot who is just blatantly inappropriate/crass/vulgar).

On the other hand when an undesirable awkward icky boy or an older man takes you in with their eyes or tries to move in with a romantic approach, it's such a crossing of our more poorly defined feminine boundaries that it feels violating and disturbing.

And fyi: It is not unheard of that some guys also experience this violation when an unattractive woman makes an approach...it can both offend and disgust them.

Well. All of this is rather ironic.

 

[Arkangeloid]

This x 10. How is this so hard to figure out?

Be friendly with fat ugly smart girls.

I would like to be, but there are literally zero fat girls at our medical school. One of the pathology attendings who teaches us actually commented on this earlier. "I don't know what they are doing to you guys, but medical students get skinnier and skinnier every year."

For what it's worth, I'm on cordial terms with the most attractive women in the class. Though my chances of sleeping with any of them are about .01%. Still, it can't hurt to have friends.

 

[NontradCA]

I would like to be, but there are literally zero fat girls at our medical school. One of the pathology attendings who teaches us actually commented on this earlier. "I don't know what they are doing to you guys, but medical students get skinnier and skinnier every year."

It doesn't matter if they're fat or not. People are people. Honestly, if they don't like you, you shouldn't care anyway. You're there to go to school. Sure, building relationships would be nice, but you first need to be secure and happy with yourself.

 

[CherryRedDracul]

It doesn't matter if they're fat or not. People are people. Honestly, if they don't like you, you shouldn't care anyway. You're there to go to school. Sure, building relationships would be nice, but you first need to be secure and happy with yourself.

Bolding this for emphasis. True happiness comes from within, not from other people or things.

 

[touchpause13]

If you can't love yourself how in the hell can you love somebody else?

 

[styphon]

in residency we had to do wonderful standard patients and were graded in three areas - clinical, empathy/compassion, and communication skills. We took it before we started in the hospital, and then towards the end of each residency year.

Each year they showed an increase in clinical skills, and a slow decline in empathy and communication skills. The residents became more efficient and skilled clinicians but losing the social/communication aspect - and this is family medicine the "sensitive guy/girl" field.

Just something to look forward too.

 

[graviton]

If you can't love yourself

Must... resist... masturbation... joke.

 

[touchpause13]

Must... resist... masturbation... joke.

Don't resist

 

[Brain Bucket]

 

[Anastomoses]

View attachment 181174

I once hit a guy for some **** like that.

 

[Brain Bucket]

I once hit a guy for some **** like that.

Edit: define hit.

 

[Brain Bucket]

A folded Newsweek got thrashed across his face.

How old are you?

 

[touchpause13]

I once hit a guy for some **** like that.

Me too. I also once hit a guy for pulling down a girl's shirt/bra.

 

[Brain Bucket]

Me too. I also once hit a guy for pulling down a girl's shirt/bra.

Me three. I once hit a girl for ... oh, who am I kidding?

 

[Brain Bucket]

Sorry...are you asking me how old I am for smacking a POS who would invade my boundaries with a gesture like the one you posted? Like...seriously?

Not at all. I haven't seen anyone read a Newsweek since it was in vogue when my Parents read it.

 

[Anastomoses]

Not at all. I haven't seen anyone read a Newsweek since it was in vogue when my Parents read it.

Newsweek, Time, the Economist, WSJ, Foreign Affairs were staple reading for even my high school debate team.

 

[Brain Bucket]

Newsweek, Time, the Economist, WSJ, Foreign Affairs were staple reading for even my high school debate team.

Yes, yes. I read them too. But now we read them on our tablets/phones.

 

[touchpause13]

Me three. I once hit a girl for ... oh, who am I kidding?

No you didn't. I think a smack is a fair response to sexual harassment.

 

[Brain Bucket]

No you didn't. I think a smack is a fair response to sexual harassment.

Maybe it's just me, but I think pulling down a girl's shirt/bra is a lot more than simple harassment. If I knew the girl, he'd either be in custody for assault and battery or out cold.

 

[touchpause13]

Maybe it's just me, but I think pulling down a girl's shirt/bra is a lot more than simple harassment. If I knew the girl, he'd either be in custody for assault and battery or out cold.

Yeah, I was pissed. I kept punching him until he promised to leave her alone. This was kind of a closed situation and I couldn't think of anything else to do, probably not my best decision, but I was pretty hammered and didn't take into consideration that he has about 30 lbs of muscle and several inches on me. On the plus side he never messed with a girl in front of me again.

 

[Psai]

Yeah, I was pissed. I kept punching him until he promised to leave her alone. This was kind of a closed situation and I couldn't think of anything else to do, probably not my best decision, but I was pretty hammered and didn't take into consideration that he has about 30 lbs of muscle and several inches on me. On the plus side he never messed with a girl in front of me again.

Well beating up on a girl is just bad form and would probably get your ass kicked.

 

[Anastomoses]

Yeah, I was pissed. I kept punching him until he promised to leave her alone. This was kind of a closed situation and I couldn't think of anything else to do, probably not my best decision, but I was pretty hammered and didn't take into consideration that he has about 30 lbs of muscle and several inches on me. On the plus side he never messed with a girl in front of me again.

wow. nice. that's fiesty.

Well beating up on a girl is just bad form and would probably get your ass kicked.

If she's being invasive in your space and leering at you...a smack to the head with a magazine wouldn't be out of line

I think both genders have their obnoxious types but male ones are just that much more aggressive.

 

[Wordead]

Yeah, I was pissed. I kept punching him until he promised to leave her alone. This was kind of a closed situation and I couldn't think of anything else to do, probably not my best decision, but I was pretty hammered and didn't take into consideration that he has about 30 lbs of muscle and several inches on me. On the plus side he never messed with a girl in front of me again.

Violence is okay as long as its against a male, then? Which iteration of feminism is this?

 

[touchpause13]

Violence is okay as long as its against a male, then? Which iteration of feminism is this?

The iteration of I'm drunk and you hurt my friend.

 

[Anastomoses]

Violence is okay as long as its against a male, then? Which iteration of feminism is this?

Right because the violence against her friend is not an issue.

 

[DermViser]

Violence is okay as long as its against a male, then? Which iteration of feminism is this?

When you pull down a woman's skirt and bra as that person did, then yes.

 

[Neurodelic]

lol. This conversation started off about bad social skills and has changed focus quite a bit.

 

[evilbooyaa]

wow. nice. that's fiesty.

If she's being invasive in your space and leering at you...a smack to the head with a magazine wouldn't be out of line

I think both genders have their obnoxious types but male ones are just that much more aggressive.

Are you saying that if a girl was to smack a guy's ass, hitting her back with a rolled up magazine/newspaper would be acceptable?

 

[Anastomoses]

Are you saying that if a girl was to smack a guy's ass, hitting her back with a rolled up magazine/newspaper would be acceptable?

100% acceptable and I'm a pretty staunch feminist. Such people should be knocked on their ass. When is it okay to invade another person's space, let alone touch him, let alone sexually abuse him without (implied) permission? Such people should be put in a barn.

On an airplane yesterday I told a girl "the common courtesy is to ask" when she took something out of my front seat pocket - which probably shocked her.

 

[BobbyB]

The iteration of I'm drunk and you hurt my friend.

violence isn't okay even if you are drunk or your friend had her feelings hurt

you only use self-defense if you are being attacked

i don't think it is okay for anyone to react with violence in response to a grabbed ass or pulled down shirt

also, LOL @ the women here advocating equality. the second they get touched you know they will cry victim and call for white knights

 

[BobbyB]

you are well known for your misogyny on here. the moment you touch my anything or even pretend like you are going to...I'd knock you upside your head and tell you where your mama came from. The knight whites can have you after.

Surprisingly girls are getting fed up with this crap.

lol you're fed up with it?

i've had gay guys grab my ass
i've had girls grab my ass
i've had girls feel up my arms
i've had girls feel up my abs
i've even had a girl bite my chest (srs) crazy whale hugged me and then bit me

none of these situations require me throwing a punch or attacking another person. you can move someone out of your personal space and communicate to them that it is inappropriate without physically hurting them.

 

[CherryRedDracul]

lol you're fed up with it?

i've had gay guys grab my ass
i've had girls grab my ass
i've had girls feel up my arms
i've had girls feel up my abs
i've even had a girl bite my chest (srs) crazy whale hugged me and then bit me

none of these situations require me throwing a punch or attacking another person. you can move someone out of your personal space and communicate to them that it is inappropriate without physically hurting them.

I miss Zyzz.

 

[BobbyB]

I miss Zyzz.

can you hurry up and destroy Step 1 already?

you are being missed elsewhere

 

[CherryRedDracul]

can you hurry up and destroy Step 1 already?

you are being missed elsewhere

LOL I saw the post in the thread. I'm getting unbanned in a few days. But I pushed Step 1 back so I'm holding off till June to come back in full force.

I need to stop posting here.

 

[Brain Bucket]

violence isn't okay even if you are drunk or your friend had her feelings hurt

you only use self-defense if you are being attacked

i don't think it is okay for anyone to react with violence in response to a grabbed ass or pulled down shirt

That would be the mature thing to do, but few of us are that mature.

I think it also has to do with capacity for violence. When you are capable of violence that can end a person's life/cripple them, you become acutely aware of such situations and go to considerable lengths to avoid violence.

Sent from my SM-N9005 using Tapatalk

 

[touchpause13]

I never said what I did was okay. In fact I said it was stupid, or do you really have that bad of reading comprehension?

 

[Wordead]

The iteration of I'm drunk and you hurt my friend.

Right because the violence against her friend is not an issue.

When you pull down a woman's skirt and bra as that person did, then yes.

I of course think the guy is scummy for what he did, I just think it is laughably hypocritical for a proclaimed feminist to respond with violence knowing full well there will be no retaliation coming because of chauvinistic views of women being the weaker sex. No surprise though - having cake, eating it too.