Diversity question help🚨 please

[ProteinShakeshack]

Im having some trouble choosing my topic for the diversity essay... Which of the following would be the best?

1. Initially I struggled in school when I moved from South Korea to US. Had a mentor who significantly helped me adjust, so I also became passionate in tutoring/mentoring immigrant kids and want to continue that in med school. Part of the reason why I want to go into academic medicine. (maybe too cliche?)
2. Used to live with doctor parents in Korea and was privileged to never have a gap in my medical care. After moving to the US to live with my relatives as a teenager, I experienced first-hand having to delay medical care that led to a serious health issue for my brother. Working in a free clinic, I saw that many other immigrants also deal with this and want to become an advocate for immigrants in healthcare. (Kinda started off with my brother’s illness being a spark in my PS so might be repetitive)
3. Used to go to a boarding arts school in South Korea to become a professional flutist. The school had a toxic competitive culture, such as publicly ranking students after each monthly audition and verbally abusing those of us who ranked low. That toxic culture made me lose any purpose for music. Then, in college, I volunteered at a dementia facility playing music for seniors. Played the piano (Which I had no experience in) in a quartet with other volunteers and realized that music can be for harmony and healing rather than competition. Using my experience, want to foster collaborative, social atmosphere among students by learning to play new instruments together and also volunteering to play for local clinics.

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[deleted1065184]

I personally like #3. Would spend less time focusing on how the toxic culture made you lose passion for the flute, and more about how you are a skilled flutist and how you used those skills to help people with dementia.

Music is such a big deal to people with different forms of dementia. I witnessed it with my own grandfather, who had alzheimer's. He would light up with joy every time my family would sing him old church songs.

 

[Goro]

Im having some trouble choosing my topic for the diversity essay... Which of the following would be the best?

1. Initially I struggled in school when I moved from South Korea to US. Had a mentor who significantly helped me adjust, so I also became passionate in tutoring/mentoring immigrant kids and want to continue that in med school. Part of the reason why I want to go into academic medicine. (maybe too cliche?)
2. Used to live with doctor parents in Korea and was privileged to never have a gap in my medical care. After moving to the US to live with my relatives as a teenager, I experienced first-hand having to delay medical care that led to a serious health issue for my brother. Working in a free clinic, I saw that many other immigrants also deal with this and want to become an advocate for immigrants in healthcare. (Kinda started off with my brother’s illness being a spark in my PS so might be repetitive)
3. Used to go to a boarding arts school in South Korea to become a professional flutist. The school had a toxic competitive culture, such as publicly ranking students after each monthly audition and verbally abusing those of us who ranked low. That toxic culture made me lose any purpose for music. Then, in college, I volunteered at a dementia facility playing music for seniors. Played the piano (Which I had no experience in) in a quartet with other volunteers and realized that music can be for harmony and healing rather than competition. Using my experience, want to foster collaborative, social atmosphere among students by learning to play new instruments together and also volunteering to play for local clinics.

These are all adversity prompt answers, not diversity.

What's cool about you?

 

[deleted1065184]

These are all adversity prompt answers, not diversity.

What's cool about you?

I feel like being a trained flutist and using that to play music for patients with dementia is pretty cool, no?

 

[ProteinShakeshack]

These are all adversity prompt answers, not diversity.

What's cool about you?

Oh I do realize all of my topics have adversity in them now. What if I took out the abusive school part in topic3 and just talk about how Im passionate about using music to bond with classmates and help others?

 

[Mr.Smile12]

Oh I do realize all of my topics have adversity in them now. What if I took out the abusive school part in topic3 and just talk about how Im passionate about using music to bond with classmates and help others?

To me that would be where I would go. Because flutes are cool. You can also weave in a little bit of your training and background because there are a few applicants who also went through conservatory training to be professionals who made it to a health care profession (saw it a lot in dentistry). That type of curriculum that emphasizes self-assessment, practice, and collaboration is (for baseball parlance) a fastball right down the plate. Yes, I'd find some way to spin the environment as more of a positive that you look forward to in a learning environment for medical school... that is to say one that is not cutthroat or toxic... you don't even have to write about it in this essay but bank it for an interview question about what you would look for in a medical school.

 

[ProteinShakeshack]

I personally like #3. Would spend less time focusing on how the toxic culture made you lose passion for the flute, and more about how you are a skilled flutist and how you used those skills to help people with dementia.

Music is such a big deal to people with different forms of dementia. I witnessed it with my own grandfather, who had alzheimer's. He would light up with joy every time my family would sing him old church songs.

Appreciate the vote! Playing for dementia patients was so important for me for that very reason. Almost the first time ppl purely enjoyed my music rather than getting judged for technicality etc. It also helped me get out of the mindset that grades/competition define my self-worth and allowed for academic improvement too

 

[Goro]

I feel like being a trained flutist and using that to play music for patients with dementia is pretty cool, no?

Yes, that will work

 

[Goro]

Oh I do realize all of my topics have adversity in them now. What if I took out the abusive school part in topic3 and just talk about how Im passionate about using music to bond with classmates and help others?

Yes