DMU................Self-proclaimed Super Geniuses

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yes you are, but you also sit and ride on an exercise bike all day without noticing the butt on the girl in front of you. so don't go off and pretend that you are the alpha male here b/c you have a child. I bet cremaster and i are fathers too, but some sorry ass dudes are raising the kids. furthermore, i bet cliff and i might have some paternity issues to work out after the scandelous times that await us in michigan...can you say "tag team back again, check it, direct, let's begin?" 👍 ========)
 
and yes, that is a picture of me doing the dirty
 
H. Ducreyi has a painful penile lesion....remember that.

IgA deficiency will possibly cause a reaction with a blood transfusion of appropriate RH and ABO type...since these patients sometimes have Antibodies to IgA floating around in their bloodstream...

kinda' like how Burchett and Cliffy wish they had French DNA floating around in their bodies....JK

Most Common Cause of Meningitis in Neonates = S. Agalactia and E. Coli.
Least Common = S. Pneumoniae

Post Surgical/Post Traumatic Meningitis = S. Aureus

75% Shunt Related Meningitis = S. Epidermidis

Everytime I read IgA deficiency I think: Deb Gess.... From Here to Eternity.,..



FUNNY: I got STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE with Vivien Leigh and Marlon Brando from Netflix this weekend. THEN, I was watching KEEPING UP APPEARANCES, a stuffy British Comedy, and this lady was comparing her husband to Marlon Brando in SCND, and saying his mistress probably looked like Vivien Leigh...

My life is an allusion.
 
Astroglide User said:
yes you are, but you also sit and ride on an exercise bike all day without noticing the butt on the girl in front of you. so don't go off and pretend that you are the alpha male here b/c you have a child. I bet cremaster and i are fathers too, but some sorry ass dudes are raising the kids. furthermore, i bet cliff and i might have some paternity issues to work out after the scandelous times that await us in michigan...can you say "tag team back again, check it, direct, let's begin?" 👍 ========)
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Dont notice the ass of the chick in front of me? Why do you think I go to the gym? I thought you knew me......guess not..... 🙁
Poor kids....sorry ass dudes raising them, sorry ass dudes conceiving them.....
And yes I am the alpha male, not because of my kid, but because of my wifes giant boobs! I never get tired of those things, with the breastfeeding now sometimes theres a line at our house! Hey, I gotta get rid of these rickets somehow.......Katrina recently described them as big and perky, I asked her to keep going but she was put off by the drooling.....oh well.
 
damnit.... battery getting low... might be forced to listen to ethics panel... must find someone to trade batteries with... can't hold out much longer...
 
AwesomeO-DO said:
damnit.... battery getting low... might be forced to listen to ethics panel... must find someone to trade batteries with... can't hold out much longer...
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You can do it awesomeO, just hold on..........
 
I've just realized that I may fail all 3 tests this week, and it doesn't even really bother me......oh and this panel for ethics is great cause they all are the exact opposite each other. I think we are going to have a battle of values in here shortly😉 :laugh:
 
cremaster2007 said:
I've just realized that I may fail all 3 tests this week, and it doesn't even really bother me......oh and this panel for ethics is great cause they all are the exact opposite each other. I think we are going to have a battle of values in here shortly😉 :laugh:
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you should ask about the efficacy of the "pull out method"
 
I heard its like 95% effective when performed 2 or 3 times in succession
 
cremaster2007 said:
I heard its like 95% effective when performed 2 or 3 times in succession
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if the lady in the black sweater doesn't stop bobbing her head... i'm going to go down there and nail her chin to the table
 
AwesomeO-DO said:
you should ask about the efficacy of the "pull out method"
Click to expand...


you should ask the lady in the tan suit coat if they promote anal sex to decrease unwanted pregnancies, and if so, is that way priests partake in it so often :laugh:
 
cremaster2007 said:
you should ask the lady in the tan suit coat if they promote anal sex to decrease unwanted pregnancies, and if so, is that way priests partake in it so often :laugh:
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i don't think it would matter for priests since it seems they tend to "like the lads" more than the gals
 
the lady in the black is the mom of the girl who just asked the question, and you are right I'm getting seasick from all the head nodding. Since when did this room turn into the new nelly video??
 
shiit! that little x is over my battery icon now... my computer with implode in t-5 min.
 
yay! i'm 50+ posts now
 
AwesomeO-DO said:
yay! i'm 50+ posts now
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the key is you hit 50 before the explosion. Toss the computer at the panel so I can go study for SPAL, thanks.
 
cremaster2007 said:
the key is you hit 50 before the explosion. Toss the computer at the panel so I can go study for SPAL, thanks.
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Study for SPAL?!?!? common.... who you trying to fool. You're gonna go into that room with no clue at all what to ask, and you still end up with more points that you thought possible
 
oh and i managed to scrape up 24 more minutes of power from my row-mates
 
yes I know but I am just figuring I should at least pretend like I care
 
cremaster2007 said:
yes I know but I am just figuring I should at least pretend like I care
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Just do the DRE, OMM and chest, lungs, abdomen, and you've covered like 90% of the points
 
where the hell is everyone... even the silent readers should be putting in some funny comment right now. common! This is some boring ass shiit we have to listen to!
 
AwesomeO-DO said:
where the hell is everyone... even the silent readers should be putting in some funny comment right now. common! This is some boring ass shiit we have to listen to!
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go to the site paul, and yes people are paying attention to this even though its like the rest of ethics everything is common sense............
 
AwesomeO-DO said:
i don't enter any site with the word sanches in the url
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I dont enter any site without the word sanchez in the url!
 
I guess all that cardio has been good for me. Checked my pulse just now and it's down to about 50 bpm....I'm bradycardic!
 
The Winter Break To Do List

Update by Streeter Seidell on Dec. 14th, 2004

www.collegehumorraw.com


1. Get Dad to let me do easy work around the house so I don’t have to pick up crappy shifts at old job.

2. Bang hot girl from high school that I talked to on IM a few times over the semester.

3. Wear school hoodie and/or sweat pants as much as possible.

4. Convince Mom and Dad to let me take car back to school with me; use excuse that “I’m always late for Bio because it’s on other side of campus and the bus never comes on time.”

5. Avoid shoveling snow and/or raking yard by complaining of back pain; get Vicadin prescription to sell once back at school.

6. Eat as much non-diarrhea-causing food as possible.

7. Promise myself I will work out; sit on couch.

8. Complain about how boring town is after first three days.

9. Make unreasonable New Years plans with high school friend; end up at basement party thrown by said high school friend’s little brother.

10. Take advantage of Mom and Dad’s superior “Movies On Demand” digital cable package.

11. Craft believable lies about how cool my semester was to impress attentive high school friends. NOTE: make sure to offer to “totally call my roommate” in case high school friend doubts sincerity of story.

12. Protest loudly about decorating the house for Christmas since, “I’m only gonna be here for a few more weeks…what’s the point?”

13. Go through “history” on house computer; learn that little brother is interested in marine animals, rap music and Swedish girl-on-girl.

14. Convince parents that more money is needed to purchase textbooks for next semester; offer to “mail you the receipt if you don’t believe me.” NOTE: Do not mail receipt.

15. Make fun of “townie” friends that didn’t attend college; overlook the fact that they make much more money than I do.

16. Reminisce about High School at bar with old friend; use phrases such as, “Jeeeeeezus, did we really do that?,” “Man, I can’t believe how old we are,” and “Oh God, Shirley Hanson…Soooooo hot back then…I hear she had a kid.”

17. Drive past High School numerous times; wish I could go back and do it again. NOTE: Never admit to wishing to go back to High School.

18. Get extremely excited to see family dog; realize after ten minutes that he farts and drools all the time; put dog outside for rest of break.

19. Call college friends immediately after Christmas to brag about presents; pretend iPod is 40 Gig version when it is really 20 Gig version.

20. Wish break would end so I can get back to school and party; immediately after returning to school complain about workload and ****ty class schedule; wish it was break again.
 
Portier said:
The Winter Break To Do List

Update by Streeter Seidell on Dec. 14th, 2004

www.collegehumorraw.com


1. Get Dad to let me do easy work around the house so I don’t have to pick up crappy shifts at old job.

2. Bang hot girl from high school that I talked to on IM a few times over the semester.

3. Wear school hoodie and/or sweat pants as much as possible.

4. Convince Mom and Dad to let me take car back to school with me; use excuse that “I’m always late for Bio because it’s on other side of campus and the bus never comes on time.”

5. Avoid shoveling snow and/or raking yard by complaining of back pain; get Vicadin prescription to sell once back at school.

6. Eat as much non-diarrhea-causing food as possible.

7. Promise myself I will work out; sit on couch.

8. Complain about how boring town is after first three days.

9. Make unreasonable New Years plans with high school friend; end up at basement party thrown by said high school friend’s little brother.

10. Take advantage of Mom and Dad’s superior “Movies On Demand” digital cable package.

11. Craft believable lies about how cool my semester was to impress attentive high school friends. NOTE: make sure to offer to “totally call my roommate” in case high school friend doubts sincerity of story.

12. Protest loudly about decorating the house for Christmas since, “I’m only gonna be here for a few more weeks…what’s the point?”

13. Go through “history” on house computer; learn that little brother is interested in marine animals, rap music and Swedish girl-on-girl.

14. Convince parents that more money is needed to purchase textbooks for next semester; offer to “mail you the receipt if you don’t believe me.” NOTE: Do not mail receipt.

15. Make fun of “townie” friends that didn’t attend college; overlook the fact that they make much more money than I do.

16. Reminisce about High School at bar with old friend; use phrases such as, “Jeeeeeezus, did we really do that?,” “Man, I can’t believe how old we are,” and “Oh God, Shirley Hanson…Soooooo hot back then…I hear she had a kid.”

17. Drive past High School numerous times; wish I could go back and do it again. NOTE: Never admit to wishing to go back to High School.

18. Get extremely excited to see family dog; realize after ten minutes that he farts and drools all the time; put dog outside for rest of break.

19. Call college friends immediately after Christmas to brag about presents; pretend iPod is 40 Gig version when it is really 20 Gig version.

20. Wish break would end so I can get back to school and party; immediately after returning to school complain about workload and ****ty class schedule; wish it was break again.
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Ray, you forgot to add: Remember why I was so anxious to leave for college the instant I hear dad sneaking into my room at two in the morning.....Oh shoot, that was supposed to be a secret wasn't it? I'll just delete this and not hit submit reply, WHOOPS!
 
Great quote from ethics:

"there are ultrasound stations on street corners in INDIA so people can abort children if they turn out to be female."

I love it when societies force homosexuality, especially when it prevents them from creating more, damn INDIANS. Hasseeb is gay.
 
Have any of you ever heard of the Darwin awards? "The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who accidentally kill themselves in really stupid ways. Of necessity, this honor is bestowed posthumously."

I highly recommend visiting this site for some study break humor.
http://www.darwinawards.com/index.html





2004 Slush Pile
This item was recently submitted by a reader.
Should I include it in the archive?
Vote to tell me what *you* think!

last jump in St. Louis

2004 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
Reference is at http://www.cr.nps.gov/history/online_books/jeff/adhi2-13.htm
The above media story lacks some of the more Darwinian facts, which local St. Louis residents told me a few years ago.

What is the best way to impress your wife for her birthday? That's right: parachute onto the top of the St. Louis Arch. On November 22, 1980, Kenneth Swyers parachuted to the top of the Arch. Local residents say that he grabbed the aircraft warning light at the top and looked for the trapdoor in. Oops! Guess he hadn't seen the tourist movie on the Arch's construction! The Arch is a stainless steel structure filled with concrete for strength, with a tram and viewing area built into it on the inside. Thus, no trapdoor. Thus, no way in. Thus, when fatigue set in, the wind caught Swyers's parachute and assisted him to the ground the hard way.

One more problem: his backup chute failed to open, and this Son of Darwin fell onto his head from 630 feet. He was pronounced dead at a local hospital about 1 hour after performing his last jump.

Submitted on 10/05/2004


Submitted by: Peter Kastl
Reference: see below

Copyright © 2004 DarwinAwards.com
 
whatever i have you have......and vise versa if you want to look at it that way. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. :laugh:
 
Portier said:
Mike, does that mean that I should sell my stock in Trojan-ENZ?
Will you stop using them now?
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Mike doesn't use protection, he's got every bug in the book. Plus he prefers to use the pull out method, or the "oops i forgot to pull out" method
 
AwesomeO-DO said:
Mike doesn't use protection, he's got every bug in the book. Plus he prefers to use the pull out method, or the "oops i forgot to pull out" method
Click to expand...


AwesomeO didn't you post that pull out has an 80% success rate
 
Dartos Vader said:
I guess all that cardio has been good for me. Checked my pulse just now and it's down to about 50 bpm....I'm bradycardic!
Click to expand...


Guess all that whacking off has been bad for astro, he just went blind
 
cremaster2007 said:
Guess all that whacking off has been bad for astro, he just went blind
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he also went blind from type II herpies in the eye
 
Strawberry Cheesecake Ice Cream.

I may study Heme tonight.....even after the Thai restuarant lady mistook my asking for "white guy spicey" for "Burn me from a$$hole to apetite" spicey.
 
She just wanted to see you sweat and squirm in your chair. She loves watching the itchy burning sphicter dance.
 
Another Darwin award especially for the holidays, makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside, Thank you Evolution!

Puppy Shot Man Trying To Kill

2004 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
A man who was trying to shoot seven puppies was shot himself when one of the dogs made the .38-caliber revolver discharge, deputies said. Jerry Allen Bradford, 37, of Pensacola, was charged with felony animal cruelty, the Escambia County Sheriff's Office said Wednesday. Bradford was being treated at an undisclosed hospital for the gunshot wound to his wrist, said sheriff's Sgt. Ted Roy. Bradford said he decided to shoot the 3-month-old puppies in the head because he couldn't find another home for the shepherd-mix dogs, according to the sheriff's office. On Monday, he was holding two puppies, one in his arms and another in his left hand, when the dog in his hand wiggled and put its paw on the trigger, making the gun discharge, the sheriff's report said. The revolver and a rifle were seized from the home, deputies said. Deputies found three of the puppies in a shallow grave outside Bradford's home, Roy said. The other four appeared to be in good health and were taken by Escambia County Animal Control, which planned to make them available for adoption. "That should never have to happen," said Bruce Rova, director of the Escambia County Animal Shelter. "There are so many options people have. We'll try to find them a new home."
On a side note: I heard this report on the radio, on the way home from work this morning. It stated that, the people at the shelter had dubbed the puppy that hit the trigger, as "Quick Paw McGraw" :=)


Submitted on 09/09/2004


Submitted by: Anonymous
Reference: AP/WKMG-TV Florida, Thu Sep 9,
 
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