DMU................Self-proclaimed Super Geniuses

[cremaster2007]

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Guys that are married, don't wear their rings, and you constantly catch trying to chat up Joel Dunn's wife are bad news.

They're especially bad news when you've been talking in email to a girl for a week after you have a nice chat with her in class, and you want to ask her out for a beer or something. They won't walk away...they won't turn loose.

He'll stand there in hopes that he can score some on the side since his wife lives in another town and he keeps an apartment here so he can be a sleazeball.

Are there any Serbs who want to make some cash on breaking knee caps?

why don't you explain to me what the H*ll you are talking about

 

[Portier]

why don't you explain to me what the H*ll you are talking about

Just a girl I was gonna' ask for a beer tonight when I got cock-blocked by a loser.

SOP (Standard Operating Procedure)

 

[Astroglide User]

Ray I am a sleezeball, stalk women, and i have an apartment in des moines. i have a ring that i never wear; however, it's not a wedding ring. the good news is that i would never cock block a dude, but i would give you a peter slap and then sing "lean back" to you.

who is this dude? where does he live? Is his wife hot (b/c i will tag her or some other guy i know that likes married girls)? Who is the girl? you can say on this chat b/c there are only around 5 people that read it.

I, for one, truly get aroused when i see girls voting for BUSH. any girl that likes BUSH is a 10 in my book as long as she would kuddle up with a peter.

 

[Portier]

Ray I am a sleezeball, stalk women, and i have an apartment in des moines. i have a ring that i never wear; however, it's not a wedding ring. the good news is that i would never cock block a dude, but i would give you a peter slap and then sing "lean back" to you.

who is this dude? where does he live? Is his wife hot (b/c i will tag her or some other guy i know that likes married girls)? Who is the girl? you can say on this chat b/c there are only around 5 people that read it.

I, for one, truly get aroused when i see girls voting for BUSH. any girl that likes BUSH is a 10 in my book as long as she would kuddle up with a peter.

If you ever touch me with your penis, astro, we'll have to have words. We'll either have to realign our beliefs on gay relationships (not likely, I voted Bush), or I'd have to emasculate you and crema(s)te(r) the pieces.

NONSEQUITUR: Yesterday at the gym, I saw an effeminate lad wearing a USMC t-shirt. I could have forgiven him that, since there have been scrawny Marines I've know, but he as well was wearing an earing in his helix. What the hell is up with girl-men wearing stinking earing to start with? Then, IF you can hike up your lacy panties far enough to get that done, WHY would you pierce your helix? That's SUUUUUUCH a girl piercing. Like a tongue ring. Guys don't need those. That's a girl thing.....unless you're a guy who practices fellatio regularly. If some guy says its for cunnilingus, he's lying. He probably refers to his boyfriend as "she."

So, I ripped the USMC T-shirt off him, slapped his girlfriend on the ass, gave them both wet willies, ripped out his helical piercing, and peed on something on my way out. NOT! I just looked, wondered, and walked out hoping to return to an environment one day where it was OK for a man to act like a man, and not be packed in a gym everyday serving the desires of some capricous, niaive,pot smoking, annoying, backstabbing,hipppie, liberal, who figures since she's from another Corn state that this corn state isn't as cosmopolitan.

DOUBLE NONSEQUITUR: Not that I am oposed to homosexuality on an individual's part. However, to think you're cooler than regular straight guys by looking gayer than the gay guys only means you're probably confused about your sexuality and need to go see Dr Ulberg. I mean hell, he got me to stop kissing burchett...

The guy...I forget his name. He is handsome in that boyish way that sometimes lasts until a man is 30 or so...not like me. However, he wears an earing (gay) in the helix of his ear (double gay), and when he's given presentations in the past he's also worn thick silver jewelry on his neck with matching ring jewelry including a pinky ring (triple gay).

He gives me the picture that he'd screw your mom (not unlike astro) if you left him alone with her, and she wouldn't ask you to get him to call her (unlike astro).

I've never seen his wife, but he's told me he has one that lives in another city. They keep an apartment here because he takes classes here some nights, and he doesn't like to drive back.

Something about him is fishy. He hits on other guys wives...bad deal.

And the girl is just a nice young lady I've known for about six months now in MPH classes. I've chatted with her some, and thought I had a better than average chance to get a beer with her last night, and find out more about her.

No names, Astro...I don't trust you...plus there's lots of silent readers on this string. Like that lady Kate who's about my age in the 1st year class, mitch and mike, nick strange, and who knows who else.

I've got to take my final exam now for Overview that was due last night that I forgot about because I was cooking and cleaning in my apartment for Cremaster...damn him for not coming over!!!!!!

 

[Astroglide User]

I hate nothing more than silent readers. It's the "free rider" problem we have in the US, and thank god for lazy free riders b/c Bush won again! 🙂

 

[TimeLord]

Portier,

Posting on SDN @ 4:30am? You're quite possibly the biggest insomniac Republican the world has ever seen! Even I called it quits @ 1:30am when W was up by 100,000 in Ohio.

Despite the Shakespearian length of your latest rant, you're about as coherent as our Texan President after 4 hours at an all-you-can-eat pig roast! That being the case, I?m pretty sure that I agree with you. Player husbands are bastards. Fellas need to start respecting their ladies. After all, they had enough pity on you to marry your sorry butt!

PS ? The silent majority is alive & well! I?ve been lurking around here for months. You guys are definitely a bunch of sick puppies!

 

[Portier]

Portier,

Posting on SDN @ 4:30am? You're quite possibly the biggest insomniac Republican the world has ever seen! Even I called it quits @ 1:30am when W was up by 100,000 in Ohio.

Despite the Shakespearian length of your latest rant, you're about as coherent as our Texan President after 4 hours at an all-you-can-eat pig roast! That being the case, I?m pretty sure that I agree with you. Player husbands are bastards. Fellas need to start respecting their ladies. After all, they had enough pity on you to marry your sorry butt!

PS ? The silent majority is alive & well! I?ve been lurking around here for months. You guys are definitely a bunch of sick puppies!

I just bought 7 John Wayne VHS tapes on Ebay.....

"That way he can't go to his spirit world."

 

[TimeLord]

I just bought 7 John Wayne VHS tapes on Ebay.....

"That way he can't go to his spirit world."

Long live the Duke!

 

[luckystar]

Sick puppies? Where?

I've been away too long. Blah.

 

[DMAKSIMOVIC]

I hate nothing more than silent readers. It's the "free rider" problem we have in the US, and thank god for lazy free riders b/c Bush won again! 🙂

yup.....time to set the country back another 10 years and another trillion in debt.

 

[cremaster2007]

yup.....time to set the country back another 10 years and another trillion in debt.

it's funny how new people make themselves known then lurk back into the shadows after awhile because they are afraid to be associated with our thread. By the way our fellow who gave his last lecture could be the number one fellow in the land even though he likes ISU (go hawks), but lets hope he passes on some of his best qualities to the young lady from south dakota, who sounds like she is from minnesota. Time lord welcome to the club, everyone else, I"ll be running for president in 2008 and my campaign will be slapping around the world. I will travel the world slapping people who are dumb until they are no longer dumb. It may take many years, but with the help I am sure to pick up along the way there is no way we can't turn things around.

 

[babyruth]

I would appreciate it if you slapped the religious fanatics around a bit too. Getting tired of living in the bible belt where I feel like I need to be in the "leave it to beaver" (no pun intended) show to fit in. Thinking about moving to canada or some tropical island somewhere.

I think Portier would look cute with a helix ring.

(By the way, does this dude go to COM or just CHS?)

 

[cremaster2007]

I would appreciate it if you slapped the religious fanatics around a bit too. Getting tired of living in the bible belt where I feel like I need to be in the "leave it to beaver" (no pun intended) show to fit in. Thinking about moving to canada or some tropical island somewhere.

I think Portier would look cute with a helix ring.

(By the way, does this dude go to COM or just CHS?)

Babyruth,
Lucky for you religious fanatics are number one on my list.........more people have been killed in the name of the lord than any other disease and gang war for your personal information.......

 

[babyruth]

Well, according to a thread in the pre-osteo forum, the Cayman islands and Barbados has unlimited practicing rights for DOs--thinking about becoming a beach sweeper in between the time Im passed out in my hammock with a Corona still stuck in my lips.

I think you should call your platform the "Slapped Stupid International Peace Forum for the United States of Clifford and all associated territories and provinces." (the longer the name, the more important you sound...)

 

[babyruth]

You could debate and just slap your opponant anytime he/she said anything.

 

[cremaster2007]

You could debate and just slap your opponant anytime he/she said anything.

Babyruth,
You are now my vice-president because you and I seem to be on the same platform for our ideas. It will be great after our two terms to read the books about our peace meetings..........and vice president ford-turner stated "kim jong il seriously...........stop being a douche............"slap" "slap"...........and thus world peace. Portier can be our administrator of surrendering (damn french).......dmak our minister of terrorism defense/offense, lucky the minister of intelligence, and astro the minister of sexual reform/education/laws. 👍

 

[RasputinDO]

Well it's too bad that you'll be running against me and my VP candidate......Mr. T....I figure he can go around just kicking peoples as*es and getting me free publicity, because I know I sure can't afford it.......

 

[cremaster2007]

Well it's too bad that you'll be running against me and my VP candidate......Mr. T....I figure he can go around just kicking peoples as*es and getting me free publicity, because I know I sure can't afford it.......

You make a good effort with Mr. T, however, my campaign is supported by the terminator, alf, and pappa smurf (with a little help from smurfette seducing him😉 so you will have your work cut out for you.

 

[cremaster2007]

Portier,
Can you inform the school that they are no longer allowed to schedule two lectures worth of info for one hour, it makes my head hurt reading 17 page notepools......................damn you community/noscomial acquired pneumonia

 

[RasputinDO]

You make a good effort with Mr. T, however, my campaign is supported by the terminator, alf, and pappa smurf (with a little help from smurfette seducing him😉 so you will have your work cut out for you.

All I have to say is A-Team Van......there's no stopping that

 

[TimeLord]

Does this mean that you're going to employ Hannibal & Face to run your campaign? Now that could be an election day tour-de-force!

 

[Astroglide User]

We finally found common ground with creamaster. i love sexual affairs, especially when they are foreign!!! thank you cliff for getting me that job.

the good news is that kirk ferentz supports our cause and promises to join us when he is done taking over the united states. i thought you would like this news.

Harlan won tonight, but somehow the game turned into a scoring fest. close game in the end.

we need to find Ditka and get him signed as well b/c he is, afterall, better than god @everything (other than making women).

 

[cremaster2007]

We finally found common ground with creamaster. i love sexual affairs, especially when they are foreign!!! thank you cliff for getting me that job.

the good news is that kirk ferentz supports our cause and promises to join us when he is done taking over the united states. i thought you would like this news.

Harlan won tonight, but somehow the game turned into a scoring fest. close game in the end.

we need to find Ditka and get him signed as well b/c he is, afterall, better than god @everything (other than making women).

tigers only won 40 something to 14, underneath their over 50 points per game average on the year.........gotta love small town iowa football

 

[Portier]

Portier,
Can you inform the school that they are no longer allowed to schedule two lectures worth of info for one hour, it makes my head hurt reading 17 page notepools......................damn you community/noscomial acquired pneumonia

Only if I can get another minister position....Surrendering...I mean COME ON!

Can't I be minister of Stinky unpasteurized cheese, and hairy women with BO?

How about minister of booty slapping?

 

[RasputinDO]

Does this mean that you're going to employ Hannibal & Face to run your campaign? Now that could be an election day tour-de-force!

Possibly, although I think I'd have to resurrect Hannibal.......I have to have Murdoch too........

 

[TimeLord]

Possibly, although I think I'd have to resurrect Hannibal.......I have to have Murdoch too........

Ford is bringing back Steve McQueen in ads for the new mustang, so it shouldn't be a problem! Murdoch will definitely have to be your spinmeister.

 

[TimeLord]

Only if I can get another minister position....Surrendering...I mean COME ON!

Can't I be minister of Stinky unpasteurized cheese, and hairy women with BO?

How about minister of booty slapping?

I think booty slapping might already be covered under Astro's Ministry of Sexual Reform. I assume promoting the public acceptability of booty slapping will be at the top of the agenda! 👍 For some reason, Emily just isn't a big fan. I don't get it.

 

[cremaster2007]

I think booty slapping might already be covered under Astro's Ministry of Sexual Reform. I assume promoting the public acceptability of booty slapping will be at the top of the agenda! 👍 For some reason, Emily just isn't a big fan. I don't get it.

portier if you remember my post earlier stating ray is all that is gay, that would be your only other ministary position option.............I know you don't like surrendering, but look at it this way, with me slapping everyone we won't be surrendering anytime soon, so you basically get paid to look sexy.

 

[cremaster2007]

Ford is bringing back Steve McQueen in ads for the new mustang, so it shouldn't be a problem! Murdoch will definitely have to be your spinmeister.

The A-team is a definite advantage, but I will mobilize the members of MASH to counter act, and don't forget that I have McGuyver's support (he is also teaching dmak some things you can do with a gum wrapper, 2/3 a bottle of hawkeye vodka, a half-sharpened pencil, and a used piece of dental floss to help in defense of the country)

 

[babyruth]

I think Portier should be the French Minister of "I'm going to have sex with your family." Isn't that what french people do? (Any Eddie Izzard fans out there?)

 

[Astroglide User]

all the french really do is complain about people who save their assss and never appreciate a great thing. as i told some people, i used to be french until my family was forced to drop the "e" off our last name b/c someone nailed an indian. frickin' french racists. drink some wine and cry about it.

portier, you have proven yourself to be more than french b/c you are american. "america........****k yeah!!!"

now cremaster, let's start saving the world and gettin' some ho's to smack around.

 

[cremaster2007]

You know what I've decided about politics...........boooooooooooooo..........very tired of them...... if we go out tomorrow night and someone makes any comment about it I may have to slap them and that is a d*mn promise...........

 

[Astroglide User]

I agree with you totally at this time Cremaster, but what i said did not involve politics. it was just me being a racist bigot like usual. am i not allowed to have blind, ignorant hatred anymore either. next time you will probably get mad at me for encouraging the "prime number education" in our schools. now get back on the track and take this clevland steamer where it belongs!

 

[cremaster2007]

I agree with you totally at this time Cremaster, but what i said did not involve politics. it was just me being a racist bigot like usual. am i not allowed to have blind, ignorant hatred anymore either. next time you will probably get mad at me for encouraging the "prime number education" in our schools. now get back on the track and take this clevland steamer where it belongs!

Astro that was more for the group emails we've been getting, here it is fine cause this is "my politics" about slapping. You are allowed to have whatever you would like, that's why I love you, as I always say in a very homosexual way. 😍

 

[Astroglide User]

sometimes i wish soap bars were shaped like your face. that way i'd be rubbing you all over me all the time. but then i would be all sad when the bar started to fade. lucky for me, i would have a bag full of "cremaster bars" waiting in the closet, go figure. this homo-erotic language we have is beyond imagination.

i think the most important part of starting a new political system is a "bill of rights." we should form one of these ASAP b/c it is the backboneR of our system.

1. every man has the right to another man (or woman if he is desparate)
2. men will take the traditional role of being in the kitchen and women will work
3. kirk ferentz can do whatever he pleases
4. Hawks assumed #1 until proven otherwise
5. if you not totally gay, then you can have multiple partners and NOT be subject to divorce
6. Give me sugar when i ask for it
7. taking another man's property is against the law ONLY if that propert is NOT willing to change hands.
8. If it's your dog, it's not cheating
9. people born into wealth are assumed douche bags at all times
10. prime numbers come before all others

 

[cremaster2007]

sometimes i wish soap bars were shaped like your face. that way i'd be rubbing you all over me all the time. but then i would be all sad when the bar started to fade. lucky for me, i would have a bag full of "cremaster bars" waiting in the closet, go figure. this homo-erotic language we have is beyond imagination.

i think the most important part of starting a new political system is a "bill of rights." we should form one of these ASAP b/c it is the backboneR of our system.

1. every man has the right to another man (or woman if he is desparate)
2. men will take the traditional role of being in the kitchen and women will work
3. kirk ferentz can do whatever he pleases
4. Hawks assumed #1 until proven otherwise
5. if you not totally gay, then you can have multiple partners and NOT be subject to divorce
6. Give me sugar when i ask for it
7. taking another man's property is against the law ONLY if that propert is NOT willing to change hands.
8. If it's your dog, it's not cheating
9. people born into wealth are assumed douche bags at all times
10. prime numbers come before all others

You are by far the smartest best man I've ever met......I love you more for this list than I ever have before.lllllllll 😍

 

[Astroglide User]

Oh cremaster you are so beautiful to me...........


Only a woman could brighten up my day
Only a woman could touch me the right way
Only a woman is allowed to touch me there
all that I ask is that your a woman
I like rain, I like ham, I like you
You're around your right here so you'll do
I wanna tell you how much I love your mind but it simply isn't true


Go team america


f*ck yeah

(by the way creamaster wrote this on my computer but he is still beautiful)

 

[cremaster2007]

Astro I'm so glad that you finally confessed your love to me outloud for all to see. Great time last night, dont' ask me how I knew you would love miss kitty's, but it seems to be a great fit for you...... 😉

 

[Astroglide User]

My ***** is purring after going to miss kitty's. that place is great. i also like when the ***** purrs. life is good.

today i found my new heaven in clive. the "front row" bar is a hawk's heaven. free food, cheap beers, great game.

go hawks.

 

[cremaster2007]

Go hawks!!!! Somewhere warm and sunny here we come in late december. 🙂

 

[Thousandth]

Amen to that Cremaster, I for one am going to sunny SoCal

 

[AwesomeO-DO]

I hope you damn Hawkeyes end up in El Paso, Tx... the dirtiest border town i can think of

 

[cremaster2007]

I hope you damn Hawkeyes end up in El Paso, Tx... the dirtiest border town i can think of

Which would only increase myself and astro's happiness factor by 10.

 

[Astroglide User]

Paul...if i were you, i would be praying the hawks don't find a way to upset you in iowa city. i'm guessing we will be underdogs in a place we have not lost for about 3 years. i predict we put an end to your dream season and there will be a 3 way tie for 1st place in the big 10, sending iowa to the outback bowl once again. 17 straight at kinnick

However, today i am begging you to burn me some software. have a heart kid.

 

[Astroglide User]

Cremaster. put one more in the bag if you know what i mean. astroglide user is on a role and spreading genes faster than kirk ferentz is collecting votes for president in 2008! 😱

 

[cremaster2007]

Cremaster. put one more in the bag if you know what i mean. astroglide user is on a role and spreading genes faster than kirk ferentz is collecting votes for president in 2008! 😱

It's why you are my hero...........I think we are going to minnesota to the game this weekend. Go hawks, go astro, go ferentz.

 

[Creamfly]

Hate to break up all your 07's stream of consciousness, but do REALLY have to buy all that stuff for Physical Diagnosis class?

From your not nearly as witty and voyeuristic threadwatching 08er.

 

[cremaster2007]

Hate to break up all your 07's stream of consciousness, but do REALLY have to buy all that stuff for Physical Diagnosis class?

From your not nearly as witty and voyeuristic threadwatching 08er.

yes it is figured into loans, and it costs a lot, so bend over and enjoy.

 

[Creamfly]

Thanks, is the 55 gallon drum of KY included in the loans as well?

 

[cremaster2007]

Thanks, is the 55 gallon drum of KY included in the loans as well?

Nope, but they give you a great discount with since you are going to use so much of it in such a short amount of time..............