DMU................Self-proclaimed Super Geniuses

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Astroglide User said:
Last night i saw this on comedy central regarding psychiatric treatment in Texas. This is a medial board question in the lone star state.

17 y/o male presents to office and complains about his "constantly full bladder" and sexual identity problems. After doing the H+P you find the patient look curiously at your OMM table and hinting that he wants a treatment of some sort. He even tells you about your "fine facial features and sexy biceps." while ignoring the transference and waiting for lab exams regarding his prostate, you beging doing a full body OMM treatment on the individual even though you know it's contraindicated in this case. After following the protocol of opening the thoracic inlet and popping the pubes, the nurse enters the room with lab results. If you read anything above, you are ******ed since it is irrelevant to the question and meannt to distract you. Lab values confirm your suspicion of prostate cancer in the young male. what is the appropriate treatment?

A. Refer the man to Dartos for psychiatric eval
B. Test the cremasteric reflex multiple times
C. Expain to man that all life problems are alieved at the local Titty bar. . . .
Click to expand...

Did you say something after titty bar?
 
Astroglide User said:
Last night i saw this on comedy central regarding psychiatric treatment in Texas. This is a medial board question in the lone star state.

17 y/o male presents to office and complains about his "constantly full bladder" and sexual identity problems. After doing the H+P you find the patient look curiously at your OMM table and hinting that he wants a treatment of some sort. He even tells you about your "fine facial features and sexy biceps." while ignoring the transference and waiting for lab exams regarding his prostate, you beging doing a full body OMM treatment on the individual even though you know it's contraindicated in this case. After following the protocol of opening the thoracic inlet and popping the pubes, the nurse enters the room with lab results. If you read anything above, you are ******ed since it is irrelevant to the question and meannt to distract you. Lab values confirm your suspicion of prostate cancer in the young male. what is the appropriate treatment?

A. Refer the man to Dartos for psychiatric eval
B. Test the cremasteric reflex multiple times
C. Expain to man that all life problems are alieved at the local Titty bar.
D. Inhibit his CP450 enzymes with grapefruit juice
E. Explain that masturbation is the best known TX for prostate cancer
Click to expand...

Right, the correct answer is all of the above in addition to checking the bulbourethral reflex several times over until all 3 stages of the Kaplan triphasic model have been accomplished.

To answer Cremaster, I think we need a new category for astro. Should we call it pedophilestite?
 
dr. means just referrenced biostats. :barf:
 
"I'm not going to lie to you Joe Rogan, I smoke rocks."
 
DOPEDERSON said:
"I'm not going to lie to you Joe Rogan, I smoke rocks."
Click to expand...


"You know Joe Rogan, this isn't the first time I've tasted penis"

Guess who just woke up from a 4 hour nap.............. 👍
 
make that zimm's with green beer and green midgets at 10
 
"can’t over or under react, and can’t overly believe in suicide or not" - Jeffrey Means, PhD :horns:
 
cremaster2007 said:
and I didn't know that to be in the "homosexual group" weight loss was a requirement.............
Click to expand...
Why do you think im trying to lose weight? Being a homosexual man would suck if it weren't for all the sex with other dudes. 😉
 
cremaster2007 said:
you will be sad to know then, that Dartos, is infact, in love with men (namely astro, dmak, me, and Captain Planet)[/QUOT
Cremaster, you will be sad to know that you dmak and astro are at the bottom of that list, while captain planet, Edward Norton, my childhood summer camp counselor Christian, and Seth Green are at the top. I think it would be really funny if our future attendings had read our thread and on our first day I walk in and they figure out I'm Dartos Vader....They'll see my wedding ring and notice that i'm staring at the breasts of every female in the room and be like "dude I thought you were a f@g?" Then I'll have to have sex with them to prove I aint no breeder (I'll have to do it a lot though considering i have a kid and will probably have five more by then). That's right, I'm somebodies dad. What kind of fu.ked up world are we livin in that I am dad to someone? Btw, I am the worlds best dad, plus I nailed astros mom. And she loved it. Split her like an atom baby.
Click to expand...
 
Karmajunkie said:
"can’t over or under react, and can’t overly believe in suicide or not" - Jeffrey Means, PhD :horns:
Click to expand...

hey karma, which notetaker do you think is the biggest doorknob? 🙄
 
astro... are you in mourning today? 12 points isn't that far behind. better luck next time.
 
We've had a lot of new people posting on this site. It's nice. Like when you pee in cold water, at first youre like 'whoa!' then, you just relax and accept the warmth...
 
My favorite term from psych notepool is probably '******ed orgasm' it just brings to mind the face that people typically make when orgasming....you know, showing the O face.
 
Ace,

1. give us a hint who you are.
2. what do you mean by "12 points behind?" b/c if you are trash talking me, you will end up like the last little bioooothc that did so (continuing to trash talk me and make me feel like a little bitch).


Dartos that was one of the best posts i've read. but i'm confused b/c i think you are trying to tell us you will have sex with all the male doctors in order to confirm their original thoughts.
 
I can't wait to have kids that totally nail your kids dartos
 
Im probably safe, b/c you must first nail someone. Some female. Some HUMAN female...
 
E. Simple projective: incomplete sentences. (Patient must complete a sentence that is left blank.) Examples include:
1. I think most boys…
 
I hate pysch by the way, just incase anyone was wondering...........
 
Astroglide User said:
Ace,

1. give us a hint who you are.
2. what do you mean by "12 points behind?" b/c if you are trash talking me, you will end up like the last little bioooothc that did so (continuing to trash talk me and make me feel like a little bitch).
Click to expand...

1. i don't really fit in the hippie drum circle, but they let me hang out there anyway.

2. i don't really know enough to trash talk you. the only reason i even care is b/c said hippies made me fill out a bracket and pay $5, and i chose your team to win that game. they didn't, and it cost me 2 points.
 
Ace -
realize i was totally kidding. but now i realize how dumb i am b/c i had NO IDEA what you meant by the brackets since i was off in a day dream. iowa failed me big time as i had them getting to the 3rd round. i realized yesterday there has always been a reason for me NOT doing brackets since i'm a bad guesser.
 
Astroglide User said:
Ace -
realize i was totally kidding. but now i realize how dumb i am b/c i had NO IDEA what you meant by the brackets since i was off in a day dream. iowa failed me big time as i had them getting to the 3rd round. i realized yesterday there has always been a reason for me NOT doing brackets since i'm a bad guesser.
Click to expand...

i'm a bad guesser too... as evidenced by my latest exam score. the kaplan test taking strategies guy really let me down today. that whole "pick your favorite letter and move on" game did NOT work out for me this morning.
 
I am doing ok in the brackets, not so well on the pysch test
 
not gonna check my psych score till after i come back from the bahamas. So i may have failed but that would only ruin my fun. See you all on the flip side... biotches!
 
AwesomeO-DO said:
not gonna check my psych score till after i come back from the bahamas. So i may have failed but that would only ruin my fun. See you all on the flip side... biotches!
Click to expand...


enjoy your trip if it makes you feel better I got exactly a 70% go psych
 
cremaster2007 said:
enjoy your trip if it makes you feel better I got exactly a 70% go psych
Click to expand...
70% overall?
 
there are TWO great uses for oil-based sun products:

1) getting super tan
2) laxative.
 
I bet lisi loves the bahamas b/c there are so many oiled up dudes there.
 
Welcome to SUNDAY SCHOOL. I'm your minister and will torture you for the next 5 hours.

Q: What's worse than being hung over on sunday AND sitting through board review?

A: Nothing!
 
A direct quote from Dartos' cow: "most people milk me with their hands, but dartos uses his mouth so his free hand can play with my ass!"
 
Astroglide User said:
A direct quote from Dartos' cow: "most people milk me with their hands, but dartos uses his mouth so his free hand can play with my ass!"
Click to expand...


I think I saw the video of dartos and his cow, I just remember vomitting.....aklfndafkljds lfkjdlafjsfakdafkl dfld :barf:
 
Hey astro guess who the only two losers are in class cause we are sitting at the jizzle's like every other day studying for boards realizing that we could be the dumbest guys in the world............but that jail bait that walked in was fantastically hot.... 👍
 
guess who is studying for boards......... I am a loser :scared:
 
"oh my god he is so like against drug reps and like totally flips out when we come there. fisor like pays me to do a job, and i can't really do it when the doctor like won't let me in his office. what a dick!"
 
Astroglide User said:
There are two fat whales sitting next to me at JavaG's complaining about the doctors who work in their office. i had to sit and listen to them since my headphones were not working this morning, and i just about bitch-slapped them both.

"oh my god he is so like against drug reps and like totally flips out when we come there. fisor like pays me to do a job, and i can't really do it when the doctor like won't let me in his office. what a dick!"

I was hoping she would see i was studying to be a doctor and give me advise on how to treat drug reps. i would look her in the eye and tell her she'd be lucky to leave my future workplace with unlflattened tires.

she is still complaining and has been for 2 hours.

One more thing that pissed me off the other night. the little piss ant from drake's pharmacy school that told brian and i how DO's are half as good as MD's. i already has a chip on my should b/c i was spending my spring break studying. so i posed a question to him regarding how little he knew even though he insisted he was smart.

Q: how do you treat MRSA (meth-resistant staph aures)

His A: "i'd use an antiobiotic....duhhhh." i guess that was funny for me.
Click to expand...

That guy from the pharmacy school was a douche bag, I wish someone would have asked him what the five fingers say to the face, but then hit him with a pool cue. Once again I am sitting at java g's reading phys (respiratory), wondering how anyone could be a pulmonalogist.............at least the the fat whales left before I got here
 
Astroglide User said:
There are two fat whales sitting next to me at JavaG's complaining about the doctors who work in their office. i had to sit and listen to them since my headphones were not working this morning, and i just about bitch-slapped them both.

"oh my god he is so like against drug reps and like totally flips out when we come there. fisor like pays me to do a job, and i can't really do it when the doctor like won't let me in his office. what a dick!"

I was hoping she would see i was studying to be a doctor and give me advise on how to treat drug reps. i would look her in the eye and tell her she'd be lucky to leave my future workplace with unlflattened tires.

she is still complaining and has been for 2 hours.

One more thing that pissed me off the other night. the little piss ant from drake's pharmacy school that told brian and i how DO's are half as good as MD's. i already has a chip on my should b/c i was spending my spring break studying. so i posed a question to him regarding how little he knew even though he insisted he was smart.

Q: how do you treat MRSA (meth-resistant staph aures)

His A: "i'd use an antiobiotic....duhhhh." i guess that was funny for me.
Click to expand...

DO's kick ass. I'll pop the next person in the mouth who 'disses on DO's. I've got your back at JavaG's.
 
hey guys don't feel like you are the only losers...I am officially one too. At least I'm in Wisconsin (land of the best cheese and beer-I am pretty sure I've gained ten pounds already) switching up the scene. By the way since I'm not at the g's to help you out, make sure to throw those sandwiches at the girls while I'm away.
Quote of the week by my friend debbie:
"Seriously why the hell does he need to talk and hang out can't we just have sex? Guys are so annoying sometimes, I hope he leaves soon."
I love being home... 😀
 
Um you could always bring your friend to des moines and introduce them to the handsome bald dude in class with you. b/c that would be a good idea.

tonight marks the night we take FRENCHIE to ames in order to party with girls in undergrad.

And 91Bravo, good luck in medical school. looks like you are heading to iowa city where women eat healthy (b/c they don't eat at all!)
 
So i realize most of you fall into this category, but i will just be honest and explain how gay email signatures are. i have one which says "go hawks" basically, and i realize that is annoying. but i am amused when people write a ton of stuff under their name in order to validate their existence and use of email. here is an example.


Astroglide User (i.e. Bird****)
Des Moines University (i.e. i'm studying to be a doctor)
2nd year medical student (repeat what i wrote above)
Not yet married
3500 grand ave #26 (i'm cool enough to have an apartment)
Des moines, IA 50312 (duh)
515-235-4997 (in case you were wondering)
cell = 621-3491 (in case you really want to talk to me)




So if you fit into this category, and i'm sure you do, delete that crap and just sign emails with your name. if you are important, people will get your information from you when they need it. that is why they can reply to your email.
 
Astroglide User said:
So i realize most of you fall into this category, but i will just be honest and explain how gay email signatures are. i have one which says "go hawks" basically, and i realize that is annoying. but i am amused when people write a ton of stuff under their name in order to validate their existence and use of email. here is an example.


Astroglide User (i.e. Bird****)
Des Moines University (i.e. i'm studying to be a doctor)
2nd year medical student (repeat what i wrote above)
Not yet married
3500 grand ave #26 (i'm cool enough to have an apartment)
Des moines, IA 50312 (duh)
515-235-4997 (in case you were wondering)
cell = 621-3491 (in case you really want to talk to me)




So if you fit into this category, and i'm sure you do, delete that crap and just sign emails with your name. if you are important, people will get your information from you when they need it. that is why they can reply to your email.
Click to expand...


You make an interesting point, but sometimes you have to remind people how important you are, not all of us are as widely/well known as you astro
 
beernchez said:
hey guys don't feel like you are the only losers...I am officially one too. At least I'm in Wisconsin (land of the best cheese and beer-I am pretty sure I've gained ten pounds already) switching up the scene. By the way since I'm not at the g's to help you out, make sure to throw those sandwiches at the girls while I'm away.
Quote of the week by my friend debbie:
"Seriously why the hell does he need to talk and hang out can't we just have sex? Guys are so annoying sometimes, I hope he leaves soon."
I love being home... 😀
Click to expand...


And yes you do need to bring your friends to des moines again sometime, but I call the one you don't have to try to hard with........those are my favorites
 
As of last night i realized my hometown has four legitimate bars.

1. Westside - pretty rough crowd but a favorite of my family
2. rocking chair - mostly older people but next to my mom's clothing store, so we go there at times.
3. Lounge - high school reunion location during all holidays (except christmas day when we head UPtown to the westside)
4. some new bar...forgot the name. but it's in an old Big A autoparts store. very classy.
 
All I have to say is go UNC...............I may be a hawkeye at heart but I did fly there to visit the school, and I loved it...........it just so happens that I am a huge mama's boy and didn't want to be that far away from home. I would like to make a plug for the big ten though, 3 of the great 8 teams and at least 1 of the final four, pretty impressive for a conference that "wasn't that tough" this year. Anyways back to the couch where I will be laying and doing nothing, as it is the last day of spring break 👎
 
cobra2.jpg
 
Hey,

Just wondering... have they finished the new student center yet? And what is it like? Does it have a good gym?
 
Eiko said:
Hey,

Just wondering... have they finished the new student center yet? And what is it like? Does it have a good gym?
Click to expand...



It opens tomorrow, and its wonderful
 
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