DMU................Self-proclaimed Super Geniuses

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Man, i got the easy rotation with 8-4 hours (no weekends b/c my FPs don't really do call). plus i'm spoon fed all the way. i like it when people think i'm mostly ******ed beause its true...
 
he3* 0y 2eyb6ard 5s s062ed
 
Portier said:
Now I have to reconsider becoming a cutter. Damn. I don't really like surgeons...they yell too much.
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Yes Ray....(insert Emporer Palpatines raspy voice), cross over to the dark side.
 
I really like peds, but I don't think I can give up my dreams of yelling and being super bipolar just because I'm a surgeon. Quote from family guy: "midgets are god's little punch lines"
 
Portier said:
Dartos, your cooter is the only one that makes me feel funny...like when I used to climb the rope in gym class. (Not La jefa's, yours)

That's a good question you brought up about residencies. I've been thinking ER or FP. However lately I've been leaning more towards ER because most docs (even FP's) are telling me it's a better quality of life and all that.

However, Dr Tan (and now your post) shows me that as an ER doc, you're going to be limited to non-trauma cases. When someone comes in with bit sticking out that should be sticking in, the surgeons are going to take over.

So an ER doc only gets the broke bones (closed fx), runny noses, late night STD's, and such. The realy god stuff (gunshots, stab wounds, head trauma) get handed off to the cutters.

Now I have to reconsider becoming a cutter. Damn. I don't really like surgeons...they yell too much.
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Portier, as usual we are on the same wavelength. I love the variety of practice and lifestyle of er, but i also love the fastpace and depth of surgery. Goddamnit. SO CONFUSING!!!
 
Docgeorge said:
Yes Ray....(insert Emporer Palpatines raspy voice), cross over to the dark side.
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Not only has docg taught me to dip my fork in the dressing rather than pouring it all over my salad....

But he has also rejoiced at my seduciton by the dark forces of cutting.

We did a C section on an obese, amish, 43 y/o G9P8, PIH, placenta previa, ANTERIORLY implanted placenta (deep sigh) patient last week.

When we (he...I was standing there with my jaw drooping behind my mask as the omentum and uterine adventitia oozed about) cut through the uterus, blood went everywhere in massive amounts....even into my shoe through the worthless booties. GROSS!

POLL:
Does anyone else's surgeon have such a hardon about getting into the suite that he doesn't wash his hands like MT taught us?

Does anyone else try to wash well, and end up having to rush through gowning because the surgeon is already opening up...and yelling at you for taking too long at the sink?

😕
 
They dont do traditional scrubbing here. You do your 1st scurb of the day, which is really a medical scrub(no brush, just the nail file and you only do it for abot 3 min). Then you do the foam scrub before your case.

On the flip side, the OR here are sweet!!!!!! I have to wait untill march to get in them though....kind of a bummer.

PS
I got today off....gotta love FP for lots of time off.
 
Portier said:
Not only has docg taught me to dip my fork in the dressing rather than pouring it all over my salad....
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I try my best to educate the masses

blood went everywhere in massive amounts....even into my shoe through the worthless booties. GROSS!
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Two words: **** Kickers
 
how bout on peds today there were no babies in the new born nursery, so they were like just go scrub in on C-sections. It was pretty nice, but yes bernard blood everywhere, still she got a tubal ligation afterward and I thought it was a very interesting procedure. I also saw an MRI of a kid today with a 2x3cm pontine mass that they are hoping is a myelocytic astrocytoma so they just have to debulk it :scared: Anways I need to eat my sugar free pudding, watch another 4 episodes of LOST on dvd, then call bernards mom and pay her the 18.95 a minute for the "phone ride of my life" :laugh:
 
I hope i speak for the rest of you when i emailed the 2nd year and told him to quit doing the mass-email to the whole school thing. there is a reason for the portal, and i don't want people sending me crap which does not interest me. he could just send stuff to his class.

C-sections are a great way to get students in the door regarding seeing a little bit of everything. there is a major problem with obese women trying to have vaginal deliveries b/c they don't have the stomach muscles to push that little guy/girl through. so then we get to see a C-section where they should suck out all the PANNUS to fix the true problem.

Has anyone other than me diagnosed malaria in a black 18 year old who cannot speak english other than through his translator.

after wathing vaginal deliveries i no longer want to have sex...the placenta is NOT pretty.
 
agreed.............placenta, not the most beautiful thing a women has to offer
 
I just spent two hours that I will never get back again in mandatory OMM. It's rediculus when you cant even intellegently discuss OMM cuz you 20 schools that teach it 20 different ways! What a collosal CF!!!!!
 
Well, I'll see your placenta...

And raise you a prolapsed uterus....versus a rectocele or a cystocele.

What I have noticed here in the Midwest is that farmer's wives are quite willing to work themselves into incontinence.

Before, during, and after the repair surgery they will fitfully argue with the doctor about how much they can lift (one woman is quoted as saying, "I'm a 6'4 200lb woman, I should be able to lift 50lbs.) without causing all the innards that the doctor sewed back in to come back into full vision again.

Another one I liked, "Well, this is harvest season. Can we schedule the surgery (prolapsed uterus) later on after we're done?"

Excuse me, isn't a pretty significant part of your body that's alway been hidden in full view right now? Would you like us to push it back in with a stick for now, and you come back when you have time?

SHEESH!
 
That's what I do with mine, duh....... actually it works better with the popcicle sticks and wood glue. I only get to see URIs, otities media, LBP, and depression, whoa now...
 
so anyone doing family practice right now have a clue what this post rotation exam might be. i'd hate to be studying right now. i feel like i've seen a lot of stuff, but that book is over 1000 pages and probably detailed.

just when i thought i liked school again!
 
so peds is growing on me even more now, mostly because I haven't had any real bastard kids yet as patients, I'm waiting for my first portier or docgeorge like children to make me decide not to go into it. About post rotation exams, I have the peds one written by master metts himself, pass rate last year was 2 people who took it. I'm studying blue prints peds, but if you fail you only have to do five more clipp cases, so I'm not stressing too much...............
 
So, since my doc is away fishing in Canada, I'm stuck doing some progress note transfers from one software application to another. It's slow, and boring, but on the upside I don't have to see or smell any more "things" that will push any farther over to Astro-cremaster gayness.

Another benfit is getting to sit in Dr Tan's office and listen to the GYN clinic nurses chat. Let me tell you, if you thought listening to the girl talk from some of our classmates was interesting, you just have no clue.

Besides kid stuff (****ing recital uniforms), body image (I'm so fat...should I pick up a gallon of sour cream on the way home for our potatoes?), and complaints about patients, I hit the motherload today.

Sitting in the cubbyhole, I became the invisible man, I guess. They started talking about their sex lives, and their husbands....in detail.

About 20 minutes after they finish, I sauntered over with a cup of coffee and said, "You know, you hear the strangest things floating up the hall while sitting in this office over here."

Lots of red faces....much fun for Ray.

BTW, cremaster, if you talk about my mom again, I'll give her your phone number, and your mom's number in Madrid. You will regret that.
 
guess who has to work noon to 8 tomorrow.................that's right I can sleep in if I want................yee-****ing hawwwwwwww bitches. Now time for my fat ass to go run and read peds blueprints. Bernard stop threatening me, the french are never good with threatening anyone, just offer to hug me and give me a kiss on the cheek, then ask me why all your pregnant women get listeria
 
After three weeks of surgery i can pretty confidently say that even though it is fun and exciting, no ####ing way! I like going home occasionaly. It would be fun for a while, but after a few years of 12-16 hour days, plus 31 hour calls, i think the fun would start to wear off. Much respect to you guys and gals who have that dedication, but I got a kid to play with and a wife to screw. Plus I miss playing video games. This rotation did kick ass though. Same sentiments for OB, im sure ill love it, but i dont want to give up that much. Im thinkin ER or peds.....or peds ER. Who knows though, shizzy could get all crazy in this hizzy for the next two years and i could decide to become an emergency pediatric gynecologic surgical oncologist. Hope you guys are having fun. One more week until anesthesia. What do you ****ers have on deck now?
 
dartos I move up to michigan and go to st. joseph's and I think I do OB/gyn or pysch. But maybe, just maybe we can play Star Wars battlefront II when it comes out November 1st.............. 👍
 
I get to do peds next, and everyone says it's interest for 30 days but a lifetime of it is extremely boring and crappy as you are the bottom of the medical totem pole around here. i don't know how that works elsewhere though. and yes, surgeons (as well as OB/GYN) live a terrible life if you consider a good life means you can drink and enoy the money you make - can't drink on call i guess.

here is a great recipe for a salad:

olive oil
balsamic vinegar
1/2 onion minced
4 cloves garlic crushed
romaine lettuce
soy protein if you desire

Most important ingredient = 10 oz fillet mignon off the grill sitting next to the salad. and yes, the fillet is wrapped in bacon.
 
cremaster2007 said:
so peds is growing on me even more now, mostly because I haven't had any real bastard kids yet as patients, I'm waiting for my first portier or docgeorge like children to make me decide not to go into it. About post rotation exams, I have the peds one written by master metts himself, pass rate last year was 2 people who took it. I'm studying blue prints peds, but if you fail you only have to do five more clipp cases, so I'm not stressing too much...............
Click to expand...

I heard that Metts gives the students that rotate with him some practice questions for that test. Maybe you should email him to see if you can get those. I have my peds with him but not until November.
 
If I did peds I think I would either go the hospitalist route or do neonatology. Don't know if I could handle well child visits and runny noses in a clinic forever. Who knows though. Thats what I like about ER, crackheads and drunks are entertaining. I particularly like the guy the other night strapped to a bed all night waiting to dry out yelling, "I pooped myself" at the top of his lungs.
 
liars..youre all a pack of liars...
2nd year is eaisier..dont worry... you have more time...things are taugh better...santa clause will take care of your grades..the tooth fairie will give you 100k for the teeth you knock out from banging your head on the wall!!

Ugghh...wish I was where ya'll are now...
kissies 😍
 
Dartos Vader said:
If I did peds I think I would either go the hospitalist route or do neonatology. Don't know if I could handle well child visits and runny noses in a clinic forever. Who knows though. Thats what I like about ER, crackheads and drunks are entertaining. I particularly like the guy the other night strapped to a bed all night waiting to dry out yelling, "I pooped myself" at the top of his lungs.
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I think I pooped myself, too.

I shoulda' been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across the floors of silent sease.

For all you peds guys I have mine next, too. I did the CLIPP cases last week so I'd know they were done. I ordered the peds "pre test" book and "blueprints." If anyone gets questions, let me in on it.
 
does anyone know if there is something else I should do besides the pretest to prep for the internal med post test?
 
Portier said:
For all you peds guys I have mine next, too. I did the CLIPP cases last week so I'd know they were done. I ordered the peds "pre test" book and "blueprints." If anyone gets questions, let me in on it.
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i think i missed something. what are the CLIPP cases and where do i find them? i have peds next month too. i also would like the questions if someone gets them.

speaking of questions - i've been keeping a list of "test hints" for the psych exam that dr. dewdney has given me throughout the month. i'd be glad to pass them on to anyone who wants them at the end of the week...
 
AwesomeO-DO said:
does anyone know if there is something else I should do besides the pretest to prep for the internal med post test?
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Read your entire Harrison's book 😉
 
Portier said:
I think I pooped myself, too.

I shoulda' been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across the floors of silent sease.

For all you peds guys I have mine next, too. I did the CLIPP cases last week so I'd know they were done. I ordered the peds "pre test" book and "blueprints." If anyone gets questions, let me in on it.
Click to expand...

What is the peds "Pre Test book"?? I have peds in November at Mercy in Des Moines, I think with Dr Metts. Miss De Neira was going to email him to ask about questions because she is in peds right now.
 
BoneCruncherDO said:
What is the peds "Pre Test book"?? I have peds in November at Mercy in Des Moines, I think with Dr Metts. Miss De Neira was going to email him to ask about questions because she is in peds right now.
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Every topic has a "PreTest" book. It's like "Recall" or "BRS." It's just another name for "give me 50 bucks and we'll give you some questions to frustrate you and make you feel stupid." Lucky bought the Peds Pretest book and the OB/GYN book....the latter made me feel quite stupid even though I read the Red Book cover to cover.

The Clipp cases are an online thingy. Meetz made it a requirement to pass. If you don't do them, you suck wind. If you want to find them, go to www.google.com and put in Clipp cases. Use your DMU email addy to sign up.

Miss De Neira...isn't that Mrs nerdy-looking-chemical-engineer-with-2-kids now?

And whoever has any questions for peds or psyc post tests email me or PM me them.....PLEASE!
 
AwesomeO-DO said:
does anyone know if there is something else I should do besides the pretest to prep for the internal med post test?
Click to expand...

I bought a Harrison's IM review book before boards.

It's very internal mediciney......
 
Portier said:
The Clipp cases are an online thingy. Meetz made it a requirement to pass. If you don't do them, you suck wind. If you want to find them, go to www.google.com and put in Clipp cases. Use your DMU email addy to sign up.
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thanks... how many do we have to do?
 
All of them....

JK

3,13,15,19,25.

I got misty at the child abuse one.

Then I got mad and yelled at a paient....not really.
 
I did the clipp cases, and I have been studying peds blueprints................I don't even know what rotations we have to take a test for, so anybody who has questions or reviews please let me know too!!! And if you fail the peds test you just have to do five more clipp cases to pass the rotation, so know worries!!!
 
cremaster2007 said:
I did the clipp cases, and I have been studying peds blueprints................I don't even know what rotations we have to take a test for, so anybody who has questions or reviews please let me know too!!! And if you fail the peds test you just have to do five more clipp cases to pass the rotation, so know worries!!!
Click to expand...

Peds, Psych, FP, IM, and Surg all have post rotation exams.

Dr Tizan said, "No" when I asked if OB had a post rotation exam.

Is it the FP core elective or FP core clinic that we take the FP test after?
 
Portier said:
Peds, Psych, FP, IM, and Surg all have post rotation exams.

Dr Tizan said, "No" when I asked if OB had a post rotation exam.

Is it the FP core elective or FP core clinic that we take the FP test after?
Click to expand...

That's great news that we don't have an OB/Gyn posttest! I believe the FP test is after the core clinic rotation.

Ace-- can you put those psych hints on this thread? I have that next month in Bettendorf. THanks!

If I get any peds info I'll post it but if all I have to do is 5 more CLIPP cases then I'm not even going to study for it.

Those of you out there that purchased UpToDate...did you put it on your palm and laptop? I don't have enough room on my palm and I'm having issues installing it on my laptop. I've been using the online version, which I think is great!
 
Portier said:
Every topic has a "PreTest" book. It's like "Recall" or "BRS." It's just another name for "give me 50 bucks and we'll give you some questions to frustrate you and make you feel stupid." Lucky bought the Peds Pretest book and the OB/GYN book....the latter made me feel quite stupid even though I read the Red Book cover to cover.

The Clipp cases are an online thingy. Meetz made it a requirement to pass. If you don't do them, you suck wind. If you want to find them, go to www.google.com and put in Clipp cases. Use your DMU email addy to sign up.

Miss De Neira...isn't that Mrs nerdy-looking-chemical-engineer-with-2-kids now?

And whoever has any questions for peds or psyc post tests email me or PM me them.....PLEASE!
Click to expand...


One kid but not technically because they don't get married until April 🙂
 
BoneCruncherDO said:
Ace-- can you put those psych hints on this thread? I have that next month in Bettendorf. THanks!
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it'd be really lengthy... i'd be glad to add you to the email list when i get them ready... but i'm not sure who you are...

how long are you in bettendorf for? i go there march for 6 months (hospital and fp clinic...)
 
the ace said:
it'd be really lengthy... i'd be glad to add you to the email list when i get them ready... but i'm not sure who you are...

how long are you in bettendorf for? i go there march for 6 months (hospital and fp clinic...)
Click to expand...

Sarah Ledger


I'll be there again from May through Aug for Cardiology and FP. I appreciate you sending me the Psych stuff.
 
Sarah, you might want to reconsider posting you e-mail address in a pulic forum.
 
Here is my drink log for saturday from 11am - 3:30 am in omaha / council bluffs:

5 20oz beers with tomato juice (quit b/c of terrible iowa game)
4 12 oz cans before bus arrives to bachelor party
3 12 oz cans on bus ride to chinese restaurant

2 Mai Tai's - the restaurant allows people to drink only two
**these totally put me over the hump and i started dancing a lot w/ ho's

2 12 oz cans on bus ride to the 49'er
4 16 oz old styles at the 49'er

-----forgot to keep track for a while and totally forgot what bars we went to

1 12 oz can at strip club

-----purged out bus window on ride from strip club back home


+++PASSED THE FXXK OUT AT 3:30AM.

sunday morning we orded $100 of chicken wings at BW3''s. Today I think my liver is fattened and pancreas is ready to tumble.
 
Astroglide User said:
Here is my drink log for saturday from 11am - 3:30 am in omaha / council bluffs:

5 20oz beers with tomato juice (quit b/c of terrible iowa game)
4 12 oz cans before bus arrives to bachelor party
3 12 oz cans on bus ride to chinese restaurant

2 Mai Tai's - the restaurant allows people to drink only two
**these totally put me over the hump and i started dancing a lot w/ ho's

2 12 oz cans on bus ride to the 49'er
4 16 oz old styles at the 49'er

-----forgot to keep track for a while and totally forgot what bars we went to

1 12 oz can at strip club

-----purged out bus window on ride from strip club back home


+++PASSED THE FXXK OUT AT 3:30AM.

sunday morning we orded $100 of chicken wings at BW3''s. Today I think my liver is fattened and pancreas is ready to tumble.
Click to expand...
i just remembered a joke from a Dave Chepelle video about how only white guys like to retell a drink for drink log of their prior binges.
 
I don't know if you forgot, but i am NOT white! I'm part of the new minority group known as German-American, and your ignorance keeps me from becoming a leader in society.

i offered the drink log to bring back some fun comments on this page.
 
The peds test was fairly easy. You only need a 65 to pass, I got a 70 and that was with only doing 75 review questions from blueprints and reading about half of the book. So for you gunners who are going to have to get a perfect I recommend finding a few more questions, and maybe actually reading the whole book.
 
So, after 3 C-sections today, I'm still stuck here....

Which would be fine, except that a 4 week OB check we did on Monday offered a fine sinus infection in addition to tendering her copay.

So, I'm waiting on a vag delivery mom to get to it, reading about syphyllis since a patient has it at 15 weeks gestation, and wishing i could get some sleep before a full clinic day tomorrow in Hampton so this headache/sinus pain doesn't fulminate into a ****ty sickness that delays my travel to LA for my peds rotation.

This is sorta annoying...it's great to be back in the real world.

I'd rather be worried about this than worried about whether or not the jerk writing the test will want me to memorize this table or that one.

Oh Oh Oh....before I forget. One of our C-sections had a bicornate uterus today....she had a history of 2 breech presentations (one prior pregnancy and this one). One horn was essentially a blind pouch, and one was "uterine."

Now if we can only get the epidural in so this mom stops blubbering while the nice man sticks a big needle in her back.
 
Psyc patients are the best. I had a bipolar patient today that decided to go off his meds and then went out and bought 100 packages of ramen noodles.
 
NoOneKnows said:
Psyc patients are the best. I had a bipolar patient today that decided to go off his meds and then went out and bought 100 packages of ramen noodles.
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I don't think I can blame a guy for the ramen noodles. I am pretty sure that I have walked out of the supermarket with a couple cases of the imitation food. First couple years of undergrad, it was breakfast, lunch, and supper....can't beat a 10 cent meal
 
NoOneKnows said:
Psyc patients are the best. I had a bipolar patient today that decided to go off his meds and then went out and bought 100 packages of ramen noodles.
Click to expand...

my favorite is the 14 year old kid last week who told me he tried meth once, but that he didn't like it because he's the kind of guy who likes to eat and sleep.
 
Here are the high points of the last student my doc had before me:

1) During a delivery she keeps saying, "Oh my GOD! I've never done this before," so much that she is removed from the room.

2) When bought lunch, she remarks about her special condition(s) and special doctor in Des Moines, and vegetarian diet. When her sandwich comes out, she finds pickles on it, and refuses to eat it. When the doctor who bought her the sandwich says, "Pick them off." She says, "NO! There's pickle juice on it."

3) Before surgery she spends the entire morning pestering surgeons about where to find a place to put her gatorade..."it needs to be cold." During surgery she breaks scrub to go get some to drink.

4) During a C-section in which the patient had spinal anesthesia (still conscious), she tries to cut a tie, messes up and remarks loudly, "Just call me thumbs...I guess I didn't bring my A game today." She made several comments like this, and the anesthesiologist asked the Dr to remove her from the room since she was making the patient tachycardic and nervous.

5) During the last week of OB rotation, when asked to check a fundal height, she remarks that it's "44 inches." The patient was 22 weeks along. For the record, it should be abour the level of the umbilicus....

6) When an 75ish woman has vaginal bleeding, and an endometrial biopsy is called for, she tells the family and the Dr that, "She's so old it doesn't matter. Plus, she has alzheimer's and is just a burden anyway."

There are a few more, but the upshot is that in her review posted online, she calls the Dr a "sexist," and misquotes coworkers about how bad a guy he is to work for.

How can an OB/GYN be a sexist?

He is bossy, and can be short with people, but a sexist??
 
Gimmie a clue Frenchie. I really wanna take a guess as to who that was.

On a side note I a dude with AD polycystic kidney disease the other day. His Kidneys weighed about 25 pounds a piece!!! 😱
 
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