Doctors making Uncomfortable comments

Med School Insiders
This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors, and sponsors. Thank you.
shinee

shinee

Full Member
10+ Year Member
Joined
Aug 23, 2010
Messages
52
Reaction score
0
Members do not see this ad.
So today I met with an attending Trauma Surgeon, and to make the story shorter, He made a comment saying "oh yeah I'd love to have a hot girl shadow me 😉 "

That made me very uncomfortable. Now I don't know what to do. should I take it since he agreed for me to shadow him or should I find another TS? but see the thing is I live in the bonnies, and the nearest level I trauma center is like an 2.5 hrs from my house 😕 but this surgeon is only 30 min away from me...

im not saying hes gonna make a move on me or anything it just felt weird when he said that :/
 
Use him for shadowing experience, then report it to HR when your done. 😉

Seriously, physicians tend to be weirdos. Most were shut-ins for most of their 20s, so they are socially awkward. How old is he?
 
If his comment made you feel uncomfortable then don't shadow him.

Did he actually use the words "hot girl"? Or was that the impression you got?
 
I don't want to report anything, he haven't done anything to me
I mean its just a comment right?...

I don't know how old he is, but he looks young though, I only saw few greys and I didn't bother to ask, cause I was nervous lol
 
He was probably just trying to be funny or give you a compliment and it came off as kind of 🙄. If he makes you uncomfortable though there's no reason to shadow him.
 
shinee said:
So today I met with an attending Trauma Surgeon, and to make the story shorter, He made a comment saying "oh yeah I'd love to have a hot girl shadow me 😉 "

That made me very uncomfortable. Now I don't know what to do. should I take it since he agreed for me to shadow him or should I find another TS? but see the thing is I live in the bonnies, and the nearest level I trauma center is like an 2.5 hrs from my house 😕 but this surgeon is only 30 min away from me...

im not saying hes gonna make a move on me or anything it just felt weird when he said that :/
Click to expand...

Congrats you met a trauma surgeon. No wait, I'm sorry, I mean you met a surgeon.

I hate to say it, but get used to it. You'll get it again for 2 months in med school.

On the bright side, if you dodge the sexual harassment then you will ultimately get a good grade with very little pimping or high expectation (on your surgery rotation). I guess out of this he will probably write you a really nice letter without expecting any signs of actual intelligence from you.

Sexism...alive and well in all surgical specialties.
 
shinee said:
I don't want to report anything, he haven't done anything to me
I mean its just a comment right?...

I don't know how old he is, but he looks young though, I only saw few greys and I didn't bother to ask, cause I was nervous lol
Click to expand...

Maybe he was just trying to use that as a cheesey "ice-breaker", but if it continues beyond that then that would be unacceptable.

One day it's talking about your looks and the next day he's making subtle comments about your a55. Stuff like that in the work place is not seen as just comments. If they are unwelcomed and make you feel uncomfortable and they continue, than its sexual harassment. It's not something that you need to take.
 
I'm not sure what's wrong with this.

OP, are you ugly?
 
shinee said:
Yeah Im an ugly glittery troll who will steal your man 😛
Click to expand...
troll.gif
 
Men are dogs, seriously. I thought the immature, sexual comments went away with age, and then I went drinking w/ my grandparents one night. 🙄
 
Yeah I'm going to have to agree with alwaysaangel. You just kind of have to learn to laugh it off and get used to it, as annoying as that is.

I would say go for and use him for the shadowing experience, especially if you would have to travel two extra hours to shadow anyone else (assuming that you would be able to find another trauma surgeon to shadow at that trauma center as well)
 
alwaysaangel said:
Congrats you met a trauma surgeon. No wait, I'm sorry, I mean you met a surgeon.

I hate to say it, but get used to it. You'll get it again for 2 months in med school.

On the bright side, if you dodge the sexual harassment then you will ultimately get a good grade with very little pimping or high expectation (on your surgery rotation). I guess out of this he will probably write you a really nice letter without expecting any signs of actual intelligence from you.

Sexism...alive and well in all surgical specialties.
Click to expand...

It's a good thing she didn't meet with a urologist.
 
romeosterp said:
Yeah I'm going to have to agree with alwaysaangel. You just kind of have to learn to laugh it off and get used to it, as annoying as that is.

I would say go for and use him for the shadowing experience, especially if you would have to travel two extra hours to shadow anyone else (assuming that you would be able to find another trauma surgeon to shadow at that trauma center as well)
Click to expand...

yeah....I think ill do that and if it gets outta hand, Ill just stop.

I wouldn't even care if he said "jk" after making that comment :/ but when he didn't it made everything very awkward.
 
It's not a big deal ... imagine it being reversed?

A female doc saying "I'd love for some handsome, young man to come in and shadow me"

Women say this stuff ALL THE TIME ...

(men do too, but women can get away with more because they're usually not creepy)

The nurses when I was shadowing ER docs would always say I was too handsome to not have a girlfriend and shouldn't be here with your time volunteering looking like you do...

It's just conversation and for fun. I didn't take it to heart and wasn't uncomfortable. Older people always say these things about/to younger people, but this doesn't mean they do it seriously, like they REALLY NEED some hot girl to shadow them. It would just be a nice change of pace?

Now, I will say if these nurses or your surgeon said these things in a low-tone, whisper in the back of the janitors closet without a smile on their face I'd be a little weirded-out too...
 
I think you loved it and are still fishing for more attention... Just my take, but you sound mildly histrionic.
 
CptCrunch said:
It's a good thing she didn't meet with a urologist.
Click to expand...

I'm shadowing a urologist now. It was cute how he asked first if I was cool with penis jokes after he cracked the first one.
 
shinee said:
So today I met with an attending Trauma Surgeon, and to make the story shorter, He made a comment saying "oh yeah I'd love to have a hot girl shadow me 😉 "
Click to expand...
Look, this guy sounds like a socially inept creep and I want you to know that his behavior is not your fault.

However, your response to him is important, because you might be unwittingly encouraging him to continue treating you inappropriately. I recommend that you put your hair up and cultivate a less flirty demeanor. A nervous giggle or awkward sideways glance sends the message that this person can continue harassing you and you'll just demurely flutter your lashes in disbelief or discomfort. The way you're describing the interaction on this thread suggests to me that you responded this way.

The correct response to that kind of inappropriate comment is to either blithely ignore it (I mean, really truly act as if you didn't even hear it) or challenge them politely. Looking someone straight in the eyes and saying "Excuse me? What was that you just said?" in a calm and confident voice can be remarkably effective. 👍
 
You are a premed. He is a trauma surgeon. You are nothing to him. If you get uncomfortable because of one small comment like that I advise you to not walk by any construction sites.

I really don't get why this is an issue - I would love for someone to call me hot.
 
judging by ur avatar, ur smoooooooooooking hot.....why are you doing medicine as opposed to MARKETING
 
OP, is that you in the avatar? Because maybe you need to get face debeautification plastic surgery to prevent the harrassment.

Oh there we go, did you get your compliment that you're fishing for yet?
Speaking of fishing, I love fishing, for bass and salmon too. Salmon are freshwater fish at birth, salt water fish growing up, and fresh water fish again at death. Water covers 80% of our earth's surface. Earth, third planet orbiting our sun. The sun will die in 6 billion years. There are 6 billion people living on our planet....

OK, I need microsoft Bing now.
 
:laugh:

TBH that was my first reaction to this thread too. There's really no need to broadcast a scenario like this if it occurred. If the surgeon is creepy, don't spend you're time with him. It's really that simple 😉.
 
according to a previous post, your name is Jack and you're still a high school senior? 😕
 
Im sure he was just joking and maybe it was a bit of a compliment.
As a blonde female i am quite used to getting these types of comments everywhere. I've had doctors i was shadowing ask if i have a boyfriend. I don't think much of this. They are just being nice and friendly, nothing wrong with that. Laugh it off and continue with your day.
 
i once had a comment like this directed at me.

I am a male. The female gynecologist i was shadowing was very nice to me. after a typical day of seeing patients with her, she was like man itd be so nice to see a penish rather than all the vaginas. i got :scared:. i replied, 'i see one everyday particularly when i just wake up and go to the bathroom' shes was like :scared:. then i realized what i said and got :scared:. for a good two minutes we were like :scared::scared:. i havent spoken to her to this day.

the moral of the story is dont let things get awkward. if youre hot you should be in movies and magazines not in medicine. i hope you do become a model
 
This is ridiculous and a very good example of why women tend to feel 'harassed' - stand up for yourself, jesus. There are always going to be people, male or female, who don't understand social dynamics or are just plain inappropriate. You know how many times I've had older women (nurses, patients, random people) say inappropriate and/or sexual things that made me uncomfortable? Tons. It's YOUR position to conduct the situations you're in - if someone says something to you that makes you feel weird, act accordingly. --> First time, OK, that was weird, maybe let it fly. Happens again, a stern response expressing that the comment made you uncomfortable. Third time, **** hits the fan and more serious action is needed.

Who gives a crap if he's a trauma surgeon? If you're interested, shadow him for the experience. If within the first 2 hours he's already making inappropriate comments, walk out and let him know to his face why you're leaving.
 
shinee said:
So today I met with an attending Trauma Surgeon, and to make the story shorter, He made a comment saying "oh yeah I'd love to have a hot girl shadow me 😉 "

That made me very uncomfortable. Now I don't know what to do. should I take it since he agreed for me to shadow him or should I find another TS? but see the thing is I live in the bonnies, and the nearest level I trauma center is like an 2.5 hrs from my house 😕 but this surgeon is only 30 min away from me...

im not saying hes gonna make a move on me or anything it just felt weird when he said that :/
Click to expand...

There is really a very simple solution for this "problem". When you do not want to be called "hot" in any working environment, do these things:

1. Don't wear any makeup (not just sans the eye-liner - but free of concealer too).

2. Don't fix your hair (don't straighten it, curl it, etc. Just wear it natural.)

3. Don't wear form fitting "professional" attire. Leave the fitted blouse, dress pants, and matching thong at home... those damn panty-lines!

So remember, no makeup and no hair styles [it doesn't mean you will "look like a bum"... guys can do it, you can do it]. Wear a baggy polo shirt and loose fitting khakis with flats.

...If people still randomly tell you that you're hot. Congratulations - you must have something really going for ya. :meanie:
 
omgyou8myrice said:
Men are dogs, seriously. I thought the immature, sexual comments went away with age, and then I went drinking w/ my grandparents one night. 🙄
Click to expand...

That is the purpose of our existence: reproduction. Everything is about sex & love.
 
For what it's worth, a comment like the OP described would most likely run afoul of my company's policy on sexual harassment. (If you want to know what company that is, rest assured you've heard of it.)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

C
'any additional comments' question length
Replies
2
Views
561
Moko
Moko
E
do med schools require a doctors note?
Replies
2
Views
751
Goro
Goro
2026PreMed
People in my lab making up activites and experiences for Medical School !?
Replies
12
Views
2K
Rachapkis
Rachapkis
N
"Any other comments" essays
Replies
3
Views
721
Nontrad_FL_LGBT
N
D
Making Room for Others: A Simple Step If You Have Multiple Acceptances
Replies
0
Views
834
DoneDone3451
D
Top