I know this topic comes up from time to time, but I guess I just wanted to vent for a bit. There is something about med school culture that really turns me off...I can't deal with all of the high school antics, gossip, one-upping, ginormous egos, cliquishness, obsession with grades and ranking, etc. I know not everyone is this way, but it feels pervasive in the general med school atmosphere. I am friendly to everyone and try to make small talk, but it has been a real challenge trying to develop anything meaningful. I didn't clique up right away and now...I sort of just don't have the energy to make a huge effort due to all the studying we have to do. Anyway, I'm just wondering if this is abnormal or if there are some other folks out there who feel the same way. I've never had a lot of friends but not really feeling close to anyone just feels bad.
Don't feel connected to my class...
- Thread starter bumpy
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Are there any other graduate schools programs in your school? Try reaching to the dental students, or Physical Therapy students. They may be able to relate to your ordeal.
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Just stay friendly and nice like you are doing, and concentrate on work. If you don't make any lasting friends through medical school, it's not the end of the world. I just grew closer to my college friends during that time. I never joined a clique either, I did not like the atmosphere, and it did not matter one bit. When it is over, you will likely never cross paths with these people again.
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I think you have a couple options:
1. Stay tight with your college friends like OTMD said.
2. Find the other people in your class who don't like the gossipy, cliquey nonsense and form your own...um, clique.
3. Start a Fight Club.
1. Stay tight with your college friends like OTMD said.
2. Find the other people in your class who don't like the gossipy, cliquey nonsense and form your own...um, clique.
3. Start a Fight Club.
P
PNWisBest
I can relate to this but I feel that most people who are over the age of 26+ and enter medical school are on this level. I can't party at the level that most people do in my class and hang around school "to study" (that turns into unproductive nonsense) and still expect to do well. I've also figured out that I don't want to be around them, even if I could keep up, because I do have more to talk about then grades/professors/who didn't show up to class and they don't. I am still friendly with everyone but I just realized that I was stressing myself out more trying to find "people like me" when I could just be spending that time doing something else. Maybe I'll become really close with someone in my anatomy group? Who knows! But at the moment, I'm fine having my friends who are not all consumed with medicine. They help me keep my personality and the ability to hold adult conversations
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classic med school experience, fullstop, fwiw
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It took me several months and some consistent pestering from a girl in my class to make some friends.
Even though I’m one of the younger people who got in right after undergrad, I don’t like to party and gossip and do whatever else other 22 years olds like to do. I went home right after morning lecture, or found a secluded corner to study if I had stuff to do in the afternoon because I don’t have patience for group study.
The girls who pursued a friendship with me, though, were looking for a genuine friend... and it’s been nice! Pick out those people who don’t seem to get caught up in the drama and competition like everyone else. Even if they don’t become your besties, you can lean on each other.
Even though I’m one of the younger people who got in right after undergrad, I don’t like to party and gossip and do whatever else other 22 years olds like to do. I went home right after morning lecture, or found a secluded corner to study if I had stuff to do in the afternoon because I don’t have patience for group study.
The girls who pursued a friendship with me, though, were looking for a genuine friend... and it’s been nice! Pick out those people who don’t seem to get caught up in the drama and competition like everyone else. Even if they don’t become your besties, you can lean on each other.
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Side note to OP: If you go with option 3, don't talk to anyone about it...
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I really appreciated your post because I have been feeling the same way. I know a few people above have mentioned that this situation is not permanent and will not matter in the long run as we're going to graduate anyway. But in all honesty, medical school is a trying, stressful time especially when you're still getting adjusted. Having friends that are an on-campus support group is a wonderful thing to have. While I don't enjoy group studying regularly, as exams approach I enjoy testing each other's knowledge. Even when I still have many lectures to review, when I was in grad school my group of friends and I studied in silence, but we were together and could ask quick questions if necessary. I miss this so much.
My class is also very cliquey. I consider myself to be a kind, compassionate person who values meaningful relationships. At the start of school everyone was partying like crazy, going out, and drinking. It's great for some people, but it's just not for me. I just feel ostracized. I've always been a friendly, happy-go-lucky person who never really had a problem interacting with other people. There have been times where I was trying to have a conversation with someone nearby, or in lab, and they have intentionally ignored me. It was a heart-breaking experience.
My class is also very cliquey. I consider myself to be a kind, compassionate person who values meaningful relationships. At the start of school everyone was partying like crazy, going out, and drinking. It's great for some people, but it's just not for me. I just feel ostracized. I've always been a friendly, happy-go-lucky person who never really had a problem interacting with other people. There have been times where I was trying to have a conversation with someone nearby, or in lab, and they have intentionally ignored me. It was a heart-breaking experience.
Don't worry, it's not abnormal! Personally, the three or four good friends I have in medical school aren't my best friends, but they're my friends precisely because they're not my best friends. In other words, they have lives outside of medical school and their closest friends study other subjects - just like my closest friends study other subjects. I must admit that we mostly do talk about medicine when we do have discussions (and we do occasionally fall into the trap of engaging in gossip), but we don't sit there in the medical school cafeteria all day "studying" with our Macs, or hang around the medical school in general, or do study groups (though, again, we have considered it perhaps because we see so many others doing it).
"Cliquish" is an excellent word to describe medical school; I've been looking for a word which encompasses most of what I get annoyed with and that's precisely what I had in mind. Again, I wouldn't claim to not engage in some of the things I myself get annoyed with, but I think I'm self-aware enough to know when I'm doing it. And it's the lack of self-awareness and the enormous egos which really get to me.
Like you, I do try to engage in small talk and socialise with everyone and anyone, but it's difficult. Part of the reason I end up solely talking about medicine with most other medical students is because the other stuff that they talk about amongst themselves is very... exclusive. If you're not part of their group, you just won't understand what they're saying.
"Cliquish" is an excellent word to describe medical school; I've been looking for a word which encompasses most of what I get annoyed with and that's precisely what I had in mind. Again, I wouldn't claim to not engage in some of the things I myself get annoyed with, but I think I'm self-aware enough to know when I'm doing it. And it's the lack of self-awareness and the enormous egos which really get to me.
Like you, I do try to engage in small talk and socialise with everyone and anyone, but it's difficult. Part of the reason I end up solely talking about medicine with most other medical students is because the other stuff that they talk about amongst themselves is very... exclusive. If you're not part of their group, you just won't understand what they're saying.
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Are you me? I know that feel.
I agree with a lot of people here. I am starting to feel jaded in regards to attending classes and lab. The academics is great, but the people, even some of the faculty, are too much to handle. All this makes me want to forget going into primary care and interacting with people and just go into something like radiology since I also enjoy that a lot.
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I mean some things go without saying.
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This is a pretty normal experience early on. You’ll find your people.
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I recognized your name from the last years AE forum! Did you end up going here? I feel the exact same way about the school...
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Yes, I did! It's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels this way about AECOM.
