Dream school (OOS) vs in-state school (less $$$)

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What would you do if you were accepted to your dream school that happened to be out of state and your in-state school that is half the cost of dream school. You don't have any money and no one to help you pay for the costs. Do you take out $200,000+ in loans and scramble for scholarships and part-time jobs to go to dream school or do you settle for in state school and "only" $100,000 debt?

Go to your in-state school. The amount of debt incurred from out-of-state tuition and fees is astronomically different (we're talking the purchase price of a house) than an in-state school, UNLESS you're a Massachusetts resident. Tufts only gives in-state students about 2K off for being in-state; so if you're a MA resident, then go to your "dream school." (I'm a MA resident and NOT attending Tufts - I'm attending UTK in the fall, which OOS is less expensive - especially after factoring in cost of living)

That said - Every veterinary school is similar to attending undergraduate school, in that it's what YOU make of it that counts the most.

Weigh your pros and cons, including how much debt you're willing to incur, program focus, location, whatever your deciding factors are, then make your decision. I wouldn't plan on having a part-time job while you're in school though. Plan NOT to have any job (other than studying), then after you get settled in, if you find you have time, consider a few hours of employment.

Hope this helped some! Best of luck!
 
Hmm...I see, and after doing the math, it's hard to argue. But what if the dream school is Cornell where there are internship opportunities at Belmont Park and Westminister, the campus is considered one of the most beautiful university campuses, technology is embraced, political views lean to the left, terminal surgeries are not in the core curriculum, PBL teaching style prepares students for collaborating with colleagues and problem solving. The state school is Texas A&M where internships take you to the state penitentiary to work with "non-violent" criminals at the prison farm, College Station is one huge traffic jam- construction zone, profs fear the internets, people are a bit too conservative, terminal surgeries are required, and lecture and cram for the exam is the learning style. Yes, I realize I have made a lot of generalizations with the above statements.

I see you're going to keep trying to argue reasons as to why you SHOULD pay an entire house-worth's cost MORE unless someone tells you NOT to - so here we go:

-Have you not been to the campus yet? It sounds as though you have yet to visit - am I right? Yes, Cornell is in a very bucolic area, in the middle of nowhere, but you'll never leave the building except to go home and sleep - and that's the same for Tufts, UTK, and a slew of other vet schools that are located in the mountains/countryside. That's not a reason to incur an extra 150K in loans.
-Internship opportunities are where YOU make them. I have a friend who was able to snag a paid internship with with a prestigious government agency.....by walking in the front door, asking about it, and being persistent! Don't expect to be spoon fed opportunities - a job after graduation won't land in your lap, so to speak.
-Technology is embraced everywhere you go - Ohio state takes all of their tests on computers, for instance - lame excuse to have 150K in debt.
-If your politics are so far left that you think running away to Cornell is your answer to those problems, here's a wakeup call - it's the countryside! That means farmers, hunters, et al. Those "left-leaning politics" you're referring to are actually down-state in NYC, not in upstate NY - the only reason the state is "left" is because the population down-state greatly outnumbers the up-state population. Academia in the US, no matter where you go, is going to have a more generally left-leaning view of the world than the population that surrounds it - so you're not winning on this argument either. I'm from the Northeast - I know what it's like up here. NOT a reason to incur an additional 150K in debt.
-Terminal surgery is a big deal, I don't like it either, but there are other schools that don't do them - that's an ethical question you have to answer for yourself and decide if it's worth paying about $1,ooo/mo in loan repayment after graduation.
-PBL is also at other schools, not just Cornell - again NOT a reason to incur huge debt.
-What's wrong with community service with "non-violent" criminals at a prison farm where they're learning critical skills including emotional bonding with animals? I have an issue that you have an issue with this - are you too good to help others that are bettering themselves, regardless of the fact that it's in prison? They're not going to grope you, steal your phone, and if they make comments, guess what? They're in prison - you tell the guard and they get into A LOT of trouble and lose their privilege to work at the farm! I think this is a unique opportunity to observe a side of life that few get to see - and in the process you get to help animals and people!
-Traffic is everywhere - NOT a 150K excuse.
-Professors are aging everywhere - so what? What are you going to do on a day when a huge snowstorm hits (b/c they DO) and you have to get to class, but you have no internet, no electricity, and can't gain internet access and are now unprepared for classes? Not an excuse for more debt.
-We're back to the politics again - get over it - You're going to be out in the world, working with people whose personal views you disagree with on a regular basis. You can't just up and move because you don't agree with someone or don't like their views because they're "too this or too that." Learn to work with people who think differently and find a group of friends who make you feel comfortable and perhaps think the same as you. But yet again NOT A REASON TO INCUR HIGHER DEBT!
-Lecture - cram is the learning style? Bull. That's a PERSONAL style not THE learning style.

You've stated NO reason, aside from terminal surgery, as to why you SHOULD incur a higher debt-load by attending an OOS school. Go in state. You'll thank yourself.
 
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I think im going to choose penn (OS) over cornell. When I just counted tuition, penn was 80k more. I've looked into apartment cost and penn and Cornell apartments are the same surprisingly. Apartment costs are jacked up near schools because they know students will pay (explains why cornell has expensive apartments ). Although my apartment at Cornell would most likely be nicer. ..

at Cornell however, I would want to get a relatively new big car to help me fare the horrible weather. A monthly car lease, down payment, gas and maintainence, campus parking, car insurance bring the difference between cornell and penn down from 80k to 45k for the four years. While I think I would prefer PBL a lot at cornell, there are positives at Penn it would be hard to turn down. Job opportunity for my boyfriend of 3 years, near my family (1/2 distance of cornell), awesome city, research options, weather... it's mostly the boyfriend job... he will be way happier in philly and can make up the difference in tuition. If it wasn't for him though, I'd probably choose cornell. I'm not 100 percent made up on this but this is where I'm leaning. But I think choosing OS vs is can depend on the person and what is right for you
 
I think im going to choose penn (OS) over cornell. When I just counted tuition, penn was 80k more. I've looked into apartment cost and penn and Cornell apartments are the same surprisingly. Apartment costs are jacked up near schools because they know students will pay (explains why cornell has expensive apartments ). Although my apartment at Cornell would most likely be nicer. ..

at Cornell however, I would want to get a relatively new big car to help me fare the horrible weather. A monthly car lease, down payment, gas and maintainence, campus parking, car insurance bring the difference between cornell and penn down from 80k to 45k for the four years. While I think I would prefer PBL a lot at cornell, there are positives at Penn it would be hard to turn down. Job opportunity for my boyfriend of 3 years, near my family (1/2 distance of cornell), awesome city, research options, weather... it's mostly the boyfriend job... he will be way happier in philly and can make up the difference in tuition. If it wasn't for him though, I'd probably choose cornell. I'm not 100 percent made up on this but this is where I'm leaning. But I think choosing OS vs is can depend on the person and what is right for you

From first hand experience, the apartment near Cornell would probably not be nicer. All of them are pretty terrible. I also attended Cornell for 4 years without a car. The TCAT is a great bus system and everything is walking distance (sometimes long, cold walks, but still).
 
Cornell weather warrants a new car and Philly weather doesn't? I feel like the weather in each place is really very similar in terms of snow. Am I mistaken?
Yeah, I'm with you. I also don't think Cornell requires a brand new car. I did four years in PEI (aka the Frozen North that got 18 feet of snow and barely broke -15C last winter) with a beat up 10 year old Kia Rio and studded snow tires.
 
I'm pretty sure Cornell is colder and snowier than Philly. Cornell is about four hours north of Philly. I've heard it from people and also it makes sense, right? Also, okay this is a random website I just found on google and i don't know if the data is reliable but if compare Binghamton, NY (1 hour south of Ithaca) to Philadelphia weather, you'll see the climate difference.

https://outflux.net/weather/noaa/in...66CC;T:000000;GFNT:666666;GIMP:666666;FORID:9

Although in Philly, I would be more worried about traffic damage and theft to my car if I park on the street which I most likely will. I thought car insurance may be way more expensive in Philly than Ithaca because Philly is a busy city, but both had cheaper car insurances than where I live now surprisingly and not terribly different.

Katashark-- Interesting about the apartments. I was looking at apartments really early (now for June/July/August) and saw few within walking distance. The one i saw in walking distance was nice but quite costly (bc of its convenient location) relative to its size and other apartments ten minutes drive away. But yeah, if the bus system is good like you say, that could be a good option. I would definitely like to have a car living up there but my boyfriend would have one and that would be enough. I visited several apartments and did like the apartments within houses (like managed by a couple rather than a company) more than the bigger apartment complexes.
 
I think im going to choose penn (OS) over cornell. When I just counted tuition, penn was 80k more.

... it's mostly the boyfriend job... he will be way happier in philly and can make up the difference in tuition. If it wasn't for him though, I'd probably choose cornell.

Hey boyfriend do you want to save $80,000.00? Let's move to Cornell.

If the relationship doesn't hold through vet school then you're stuck with that 80k (no way you need a new car for Cornell but not Penn). If the relationship does hold, do you really want to shoulder him with that extra 80k in debt that will easily be 100k by the time you get out? If you asked me, hey babe, where you want to live....Penn or Cornell? PS you have to pay $20k a year to live at Penn but Cornell is free....
If he's not willing to live near Cornell for you, then he's not really thinking long term about where you are going together. Living 4 years together in a place he doesn't like is way easier on the relationship than an extra 100k in loans down the road, IMO.
 
Cornell weather warrants a new car and Philly weather doesn't? I feel like the weather in each place is really very similar in terms of snow. Am I mistaken?
I was thinking the same thing. I'm an ignorant Midwesterner, so I could be completely wrong, but... I'd think that NY weather and PA weather would be pretty darn similar, at least in snowfall amounts. Certainly not really worth taking on such a large amount of extra debt, either way, though, IMO.
 
Thanks for the necrobump.

Stupid me, I already forgot about the tip to "remember the miracle shot of penicillian and dexamethasone" in acute abdomen cases. Reliving that comment made my morning.

I have a couple vomiting/diarrhea cases on my schedule today.... Heh heh heh.


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Don't forget - they are most likely hbc or dog bite victims. ......

I forgot to order some penicillian. Dang it.

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He's willing to live in ithaca but I don't want to do that to him. My dream is vet school and my boyfriend is really smart and has so much potential. Best case both of us get to pursue our dreams. Just to give you guys an idea...when I typed business intelligence into ithaca on indeed.com, literally 8 jobs came up wIle in Philadelphia literally 908 jobs came up. I know it's a risk because we aren't married and I could be taking on this debt and we could break up. But there's a higher chance we stay together and I'm very confident he can make 20k more a year in philly than in ithaca. Additionally he would get to follow a career of his dreams. He is young too and these are his prime years and I don't want him to put his career on hold in ithaca.

It would be a little bad if we broke up but after three years. We are strong... also philly has positives for me too.

Anyway that's my logic. And I appreciate all of your guys input...lots of good points. I'm definitely going to think about it a lot more.
 
Thanks for the necrobump.

Stupid me, I already forgot about the tip to "remember the miracle shot of penicillian and dexamethasone" in acute abdomen cases. Reliving that comment made my morning.

I have a couple vomiting/diarrhea cases on my schedule today.... Heh heh heh.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile app

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My most recent boyfriend and I broke up because of school. I got an interview at Illinois and he wasn't willing to live in Champaign and figure out a job on his end. We were going to meet halfway and live in between Chicago or Indianapolis. That would have been impossible for what I want to do. More over, there needs to be honesty of chances of getting the desired job. His chances were not high at all, but he wasn't willing to see that.

Just because you think you're doing great now doesn't mean anything. I'm not saying I hope you break up, but vet school broke my boyfriend and I up after five years together. This is a huge commitment for both of you and both of you have to give 110%.
 
bats is right. You have to both give it your all.

I can't see the salary difference really being 20k, especially after taxes, which is what you'll need it to be to pay the tuition difference. Plus he'd be crazy to just pay you 20k per year if you weren't at least engaged but even then that's nuts. very few jobs would make up a 100k debt quickly enough for it not to seriously hurt. And when you finish school you'll be wondering about new car$ and a hou$e and youll start thinking about kid$. You are gonna be kicking yourself over the debt later. Unless his salary supports both of you and all you do is work to pay off loans. And that's assuming you stay together. Have him apply in both cities. See if he gets any offers before you have to decide. That's 6 weeks to find a new job. And you focus on finding him jobs near Cornell, keep him honest. He might find his dream job at a smaller company, lots of responsibility and potential movement up the chain.
 
What would you do if your boyfriend wasn't in the picture? It may sound selfish, but I think that is how you have to look at this. If you would go to Cornell without a second thought if it weren't for him, then you should go to Cornell. Ultimately the debt you accumulate is yours alone. People who have been married for many years get divorced. There is no guarantee in relationships.
 
If vet med is your dream, your boyfriend should work with you to get there in a way that won't compromise your ability to live comfortably in the future, even if that means doing LDR for a bit. If he's willing to move to Cornell with you, that's a huge sign of his dedication and shouldn't be discredited. I think you really need to think this through though.
Hope it all works out.

In other news, the rest of this thread is pretty entertaining.
 
@lilwhitefluffydogs Is it your suspicion that you guys will get married, or at least engaged in the near future? Have you discussed it at any length? If you're very committed to each other and think that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, then I think the sacrifice is well worth the risk. Also, the fact that the two of you are willing to exhibit some selflessness to try make this work together would indicate that you're in possession of the level of maturity required to make a relationship/marriage thrive. Making sacrifices for family (especially for a significant other) is always a "risky investment", but don't think you have to follow the western dogma of "pick 1: career or family". They are not mutually exclusive pursuits. However, if you guys haven't considered the long-term "goal" of your relationship and you're not sure how compatible your values and levels of ambition are, then I think you're setting yourselves up for disaster.

Also, if he's working in business/comp intel, the job prospects he'll have in Philly should be fantastic. I don't know where he went to school, what his grades were like, or what experience he has in the field (that's a lot of unknown variables on my behalf, so my opinion on this is probably about as useful as a ham sandwich), but all of my friends who studied engineering, comp sci, and finance/business have found very competitively salaried jobs with ease, especially when looking for work in major cities (us folks in the sciences kinda get shafted when it comes to employment/salary prospects, unfortunately). Speaking from experience, working a full-time job that you hate is one the most soul-sucking, degrading things you can do, so I'm really glad to hear that you're willing to try to help your boyfriend avoid that (not that there are ever any guarantees that he won't end up stuck in a **** job). I agree with @JJ1019 though, with regards to the point about considering jobs in Ithaca. There's no reason to dismiss the possibility of finding a good position there, and if he's willing to look there certainly don't discourage him from doing so.

I understand how difficult these types of decisions can be. My wife and I have had many tough conversations and decisions to make over the past year as we prepare to leave our jobs and start school. Feel free to PM me if you want any specific input; would be happy to help if at all possible.
 
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Hmm...I see, and after doing the math, it's hard to argue. But what if the dream school is Cornell where there are internship opportunities at Belmont Park and Westminister, the campus is considered one of the most beautiful university campuses, technology is embraced, political views lean to the left, terminal surgeries are not in the core curriculum, PBL teaching style prepares students for collaborating with colleagues and problem solving. The state school is Texas A&M where internships take you to the state penitentiary to work with "non-violent" criminals at the prison farm, College Station is one huge traffic jam- construction zone, profs fear the internets, people are a bit too conservative, terminal surgeries are required, and lecture and cram for the exam is the learning style. Yes, I realize I have made a lot of generalizations with the above statements.
Your goal in veterinary school should be to get a solid foundation in BASICS. Specialization will come later- either on the job, or via a formalized training program. ALL US-Accredited veterinary schools will give you this. TAMU is a fantastic school- any applicant should consider him or herself fortunate to have been admitted there. It's a highly sought-after institution. Variables like 'campus beauty' would never have factored into my veterinary school decision. Take a vacation if you want to see upstate New York. Impressed by the Belmont and Westminster opportunities? Who is to say that you couldn't get those SAME opportunities at TAMU (i.e. travel to NY for an externship?). I've said this many times on SDN- your veterinary school education is UP TO YOU. You get out of it what you invest. A lot of making your career 'happen' is pounding the pavement for opportunities- not once, but for years. Sometimes it takes a bit more persistence than others. How bad do you want it? Wherever you end up, you need to get out there, seek out opportunities (they won't be handed to you- at any school), and run with them. How do you know that the Belmont opportunity isn't open to 'equine' students only? Or the Westminster opportunity- how many students get this per year? The evidence you provided certainly wouldn't have been sufficient to turn the tide on my decision towards Cornell. Curriculum- that's important. I would not have done well in a full PBL curriculum. I didn't apply to solely-PBL programs for this reason. You need to make a decision as to which teaching style fits you best. Keep in mind that all veterinary schools are moving in the direction of PBL woven throughout their curricula (even if it's traditional and lecture based). You'll get a taste for PBL wherever you go. Consider you priorities carefully when making this decision. Don't let the pretty gorges of Ithaca fool you.
 
Yeah, I'm with you. I also don't think Cornell requires a brand new car. I did four years in PEI (aka the Frozen North that got 18 feet of snow and barely broke -15C last winter) with a beat up 10 year old Kia Rio and studded snow tires.
Put some cinder blocks in the trunk of any car + snow tires = Good to go. Take it from me- I grew up in MA, and spent three years in Utah (that's some serious snow). Snow = new vehicle??? When has that happened in my life?
 
Maybe if you do go to philly, for his benefit, then he can pay for the apartment you guys share? If you break up later, I guess you'll just have to kick yourself in the butt, but it evens it out some in the meantime. Just a thought.
 
Put some cinder blocks in the trunk of any car + snow tires = Good to go. Take it from me- I grew up in MA, and spent three years in Utah (that's some serious snow). Snow = new vehicle??? When has that happened in my life?

Many many years of driving in NY and NH with a Honda Accord. Never had an issue.

Honestly, the Accord did about the same as my current 4WD pickup when it comes to snow. Yeah the 4wd helps you go, but it doesn't help you stop. I still have to put 400lbs of sand in the bed because the rear end traction sucks otherwise. And nothing will help on ice.
 
He's willing to live in ithaca but I don't want to do that to him. My dream is vet school and my boyfriend is really smart and has so much potential. Best case both of us get to pursue our dreams. Just to give you guys an idea...when I typed business intelligence into ithaca on indeed.com, literally 8 jobs came up wIle in Philadelphia literally 908 jobs came up. I know it's a risk because we aren't married and I could be taking on this debt and we could break up. But there's a higher chance we stay together and I'm very confident he can make 20k more a year in philly than in ithaca. Additionally he would get to follow a career of his dreams. He is young too and these are his prime years and I don't want him to put his career on hold in ithaca.

It would be a little bad if we broke up but after three years. We are strong... also philly has positives for me too.

Anyway that's my logic. And I appreciate all of your guys input...lots of good points. I'm definitely going to think about it a lot more.


Where do you both currently live? Are both schools OOS tuition? Couldn't you go to Cornell and live separately? It wouldn't be ideal, but if he lived close enough where you could see each other every weekend, you might get more studying done and you would both get what you want! I'm sure there are tons of work opportunities for him in NYC as well... Even if he lived in Brooklyn and commuted to NYC b/c the rent is cheaper (or Queens even), you'd be about 4 hours away from each other. Super easy drive, and that way you could see each other all the time. I mean heck if Philly is the same distance, he could move there and you'd still be able to see each other every weekend. I tottttaally understand your dilemma. My bf and I are also not engaged or married, but have been together the same amount of time as you. In the end, you have to do what is right for you. Yes you don't know what will happen in your relationship, but you will have to make it work with whatever you choose. Now, no one on here is saying you will break up, even marriages break up, so not saying that you will. Just trying to give some advice as outsiders. Here's the thing, you don't want to go to UPenn for the sake of making him happy and then end up regretting it if you break up. You should want to go to UPenn because you truly love the school and can't see yourself anywhere else. Even if you and your bf stay together, you STILL could regret going to UPenn b/c you'd realize later how much money you would have saved in the long run if you went to Cornell. This is something that will determine your future and the financial decision you make is on YOU. I always in every situation I've been in, go with my GUT, and what feels right to me. Putting your bf out of the picture for a moment, which school did you truly see yourself at?? Are you a city person, or a more rural person? That is going to really be the determining factor as well here, b/c the two schools and their locations are completely different. Hope this helped.
 
Hey boyfriend do you want to save $80,000.00? Let's move to Cornell.

If the relationship doesn't hold through vet school then you're stuck with that 80k (no way you need a new car for Cornell but not Penn). If the relationship does hold, do you really want to shoulder him with that extra 80k in debt that will easily be 100k by the time you get out? If you asked me, hey babe, where you want to live....Penn or Cornell? PS you have to pay $20k a year to live at Penn but Cornell is free....
If he's not willing to live near Cornell for you, then he's not really thinking long term about where you are going together. Living 4 years together in a place he doesn't like is way easier on the relationship than an extra 100k in loans down the road, IMO.
I disagree with this. IMO, you cannot ask someone who already has a steady career to pick up and move solely for your benefit. They have to want to do it on their own. Making someone leave a career to go to a town they don't want to be in where they may/may not find a job they want just so you can be with them for a temporary 4 years....that's asking a lot of someone. Keeping a good job and staying in a good area for his field is thinking long term, especially since they aren't committed by marriage (not that it always means anything...). He's protecting his future, but also laying a solid foundation for the both of you by having a good career should they get married. He's not being selfish, he's being smart.

My boyfriend and I had the same conversation 100 times. Fact is that there are few jobs here for him, and it would be a stupid decision to uproot from Michigan just to keep me company for four years. Yes, it's hard on us being long distance. I've also always been 100% clear about my post-DVM plans too, and how that may require more moving. If Illinois was better career-wise, it would be a non-issue.

I personally would go to the cheaper school without the boyfriend, and make sure to nurture the LDR. $80k is a lot.
 
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I disagree with this. IMO, you cannot ask someone who already has a steady career to pick up and move solely for your benefit. They have to want to do it on their own. Making someone leave a career to go to a town they don't want to be in where they may/may not find a job they want just so you can be with them for a temporary 4 years....that's asking a lot of someone.

I think it's important to ask. She said earlier that he's willing to move to Ithaca, but she doesn't want to do that to him. I think she needs to sit down and have a serious talk with her boyfriend about what they both really want. If he's really OK with 4 years in NY, and doesn't want 80k extra in debt, I think she should listen to him. Women move all the time for men, and put their careers on hold for men, and go $80k more into debt for men. It's ok for men to also make sacrifices for the women they love. But there needs to be an honest conversation about it first. If she can't even do that, then they're not going to make it through vet school together because vet school is super hard on relationships.
 
I disagree with this. IMO, you cannot ask someone who already has a steady career to pick up and move solely for your benefit. They have to want to do it on their own. Making someone leave a career to go to a town they don't want to be in where they may/may not find a job they want just so you can be with them for a temporary 4 years....that's asking a lot of someone. Keeping a good job and staying in a good area for his field is thinking long term, especially since they aren't committed by marriage (not that it always means anything...). He's protecting his future, but also laying a solid foundation for the both of you by having a good career should they get married. He's not being selfish, he's being smart.

My boyfriend and I had the same conversation 100 times. Fact is that there are few jobs here for him, and it would be a stupid decision to uproot from Michigan just to keep me company for four years. Yes, it's hard on us being long distance. I've also always been 100% clear about my post-DVM plans too, and how that may require more moving. If Illinois was better career-wise, it would be a non-issue.

I personally would go to the cheaper school without the boyfriend, and make sure to nurture the LDR. $80k is a lot.
You are right, him moving and living in a place he doesn't like in a job he doesn't want isn't good either. Working a job you hate truly will suck the soul from you. But the post made it sound more like she was sacrificing more for him and shouldering all this extra debt so he could be happy. That's not right either. She threw out 2 options...it didn't sound like LDR was one of them. If the boyfriend already has a great job where he's at and he's happy there, then make the LDR thing work and save the money, agreed. 100k in debt (not even as extra debt) can destroy a relationship...even if it takes 4+ years to realize paying that off sucks. Make the decision such that no one is bitter that they made a life/career decision based on the other person. Compromising is great, but it needs to be done wisely.
 
I think it's important to ask. She said earlier that he's willing to move to Ithaca, but she doesn't want to do that to him. I think she needs to sit down and have a serious talk with her boyfriend about what they both really want. If he's really OK with 4 years in NY, and doesn't want 80k extra in debt, I think she should listen to him. Women move all the time for men, and put their careers on hold for men, and go $80k more into debt for men. It's ok for men to also make sacrifices for the women they love. But there needs to be an honest conversation about it first. If she can't even do that, then they're not going to make it through vet school together because vet school is super hard on relationships.
I'm referring to JJ's comment that he's not looking long term if he doesn't move. This isn't a sexism/gender argument, it's a "How the hell do we pay this debt off?" argument. Why would you ever move to a town that doesn't really have career options for you? If he has a well paying job now, he needs to keep that. It's different if he's entry level somewhere or just hasn't 'made it' yet. If he finds a job in NY, problem solved. If he can't, then he's sitting at home or stuck taking an hourly job when he had a great job. Also not good for the relationship.
 
I'm referring to JJ's comment that he's not looking long term if he doesn't move. This isn't a sexism/gender argument, it's a "How the hell do we pay this debt off?" argument. Why would you ever move to a town that doesn't really have career options for you? If he has a well paying job now, he needs to keep that. It's different if he's entry level somewhere or just hasn't 'made it' yet. If he finds a job in NY, problem solved. If he can't, then he's sitting at home or stuck taking an hourly job when he had a great job. Also not good for the relationship.
I absolutely agree. I don't think we are on different pages. Neither person needs to throw away good opportunities here.
 
I'm referring to JJ's comment that he's not looking long term if he doesn't move. This isn't a sexism/gender argument, it's a "How the hell do we pay this debt off?" argument. Why would you ever move to a town that doesn't really have career options for you? If he has a well paying job now, he needs to keep that. It's different if he's entry level somewhere or just hasn't 'made it' yet. If he finds a job in NY, problem solved. If he can't, then he's sitting at home or stuck taking an hourly job when he had a great job. Also not good for the relationship.
I agree! Which is why I said they need to have that conversation, because it sounded to me like she was making a lot of assumptions about his feelings and views and job prospects. You're right that it's not good for the relationship for one partner to sacrifice for the other without really wanting to -- it causes too much resentment. I was suggesting that the two options lilwhitefluffydogs presented (live separately for 4 years vs. live together in Philly) need to be discussed together, and that the third option (live together in Ithaca) shouldn't be off the table without a conversation about it. I brought up gender because it's traditional for women to prioritize their partner's career over their own, which is fine as long as it's a conscious decision and not just the default. See http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_facto..._s_not_kids_but_husbands_that_hold_women.html for some numbers that show the level of miscommunication going on: 70 percent of husbands prioritize their careers over their wives' careers, while wives expect it to be more egalitarian. I think this is slowly changing, as evidenced by the number of people on this thread advocating for her to choose the less expensive school over living with the bf.
 
I agree! Which is why I said they need to have that conversation, because it sounded to me like she was making a lot of assumptions about his feelings and views and job prospects. You're right that it's not good for the relationship for one partner to sacrifice for the other without really wanting to -- it causes too much resentment. I was suggesting that the two options lilwhitefluffydogs presented (live separately for 4 years vs. live together in Philly) need to be discussed together, and that the third option (live together in Ithaca) shouldn't be off the table without a conversation about it. I brought up gender because it's traditional for women to prioritize their partner's career over their own, which is fine as long as it's a conscious decision and not just the default. See http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_facto..._s_not_kids_but_husbands_that_hold_women.html for some numbers that show the level of miscommunication going on: 70 percent of husbands prioritize their careers over their wives' careers, while wives expect it to be more egalitarian. I think this is slowly changing, as evidenced by the number of people on this thread advocating for her to choose the less expensive school over living with the bf.
Ideally I would like to see the less expensive school and the boyfriend work out for her 🙂
I have seen what debt can do to good people though and I worry many younger applicants on this forum underestimate what 100k looks like when it's dragging you down. 100k is a lot of money to boost you up, but for some reason it's a lot heavier if it's dragging you down. And we aren't just talking 100k, but an extra 100k.

I think it's awesome she wants to put herself aside and consider what's best for him, it shows she's in it. I had a bf who wanted me to give up my career all together to follow his dream. I was just about to graduate so hadn't even given it a try yet. There was no negotiating, so we ended it.
I agree the convo needs to happen about how much he's in it and how much he's willing to sacrifice. That debt is her debt until/if they marry, then it's his debt too. They need to have that convo so he understands the risks.

Communication is huge. Painfully honest communication.

I need to look at that link when I get more time. 70% really? I'm surprised it was that low. Must mean we are moving in the right direction.

I wish you the best of luck choosing a school. I think applying for jobs in both cities doesn't hurt. You just never know what you might find. And if he truly hates it there, he can leave and get a job somewhere else. Sure you are LDR at that point but at least he tried. It doesn't have to be 4 years or nothing if it truly sucks.

Talk it out at length, sleep on it, talk it out some more.

Keep us posted! Good luck! And congrats on having options.. 😛
 
Just out of curiosity, can anybody give me a real world scenario where penicillin + dex would actually be a good idea? I know I'm not a practicing vet yet, but I'm totally drawing a blank here.
pyoderma + really bad allergy??

I almost never use penicillin. Or dex. I mean, they have their uses, but...
 
Just out of curiosity, can anybody give me a real world scenario where penicillin + dex would actually be a good idea? I know I'm not a practicing vet yet, but I'm totally drawing a blank here.

Eh. Not really in any meaningful sense. I mean, we don't even carry penicillin. The poster who made that comment to me was obviously full of crap. I could make up scenarios where penicillin+dex would be indicated, but there are better antibiotics so it would be a stretch no matter what, and they wouldn't be 'common' scenarios like that poster implied. I use DexamethasoneSP regularly, but not frequently and certainly not daily or anything like that.
 
Hi thanks for all of the advice and insight everyone. We did have an in-depth conversation about us long-term the other night (thank you vet school decisions...). I'm IS for NY and OS for Penn. We both graduated from a top 10 university in the US. He graduated with a 3.9 GPA- he is very smart, and I think he can accomplish a lot in the future. I can't say 100% we will end up married just because i can't say for certain what will happen in the future. But yeah, we had a conversation and he sees us long-term and a really good chance of us getting married. I am also very happy eith him. We live near NYC now which is four hours from Ithaca. We don't want to do long distance but I guess last resort it is an option though.

If he wasn't in the picture, I would probably choose Cornell because it is cheaper.
If Cornell and Penn were the same cost, I would probably choose Penn.
However, there are big things that attract me to Cornell and Penn. It's hard for me to separate what I really want too... I feel pressured to go to Penn so I naturally push the other way and convince myself I want to go to cornell. That might not make sense..but I think I work like that sometimes. I really like Cornell's PBL/small group and how they have some courses at the end of the fourth year rotation, they have more hands on learning early on in the curriculum so it will be less of a battle between grades versus getting hands on experience.

My boyfriend has said he prefers penn but he really doesn't care which location I pick. I just know he would be a lot happier at philly with the job opportunity but yes as you guys pointed oit, there could be one good job in ithaca. However if that one appealing job doesn't work out, ithaca may have no more options while philly has 900 more options. So I would be really worried about him at ithaca...

I love philly, I'd probably way prefer philly to ithaca. I have family that work at penn. My grandma lives in philly and my immediate family visits there like twice a month.

I need to learn more about the penn curriculum because honestly cornell spoke about there's a lot so I know about it. Penn may have the positives I mentioned about Cornell and I just don't know it...hopefully.

Its not that I think I would fail with the lecture learning and not PBL. BUT from the lecture learning in college, I definitelh haven't remembered a lot of those facts so I think pbl and having that application could really help me.

Penn seems to have more theoretical learning than applied. Because of later hands on etc
 
What if you're deciding between two schools that are OOS? One school has lower tuition by about $6000/yr but the other allows you to switch to IS after a year if you could prove you moved there for reasons other than school ? If you haven't realized already this is exactly my dilemma. I'm deciding between Tufts and Minnesota and cant figure out whether to risk going to Minnesota and not get granted IS status. From what I've been told by students it's impossible to predict. I even spoke to the woman in charge and she could not provide statistics on how many people are usually granted the IS status out of all those that apply. I actually favor Tufts and it's curriculum but I know I would be perfectly contempt in going to UMN as well. Last years tuition was around 55 K/yr and they wont have a number for this year until June 1st. Could go up or down from there. Is it worth the risk?
 
What if you're deciding between two schools that are OOS? One school has lower tuition by about $6000/yr but the other allows you to switch to IS after a year if you could prove you moved there for reasons other than school ? If you haven't realized already this is exactly my dilemma. I'm deciding between Tufts and Minnesota and cant figure out whether to risk going to Minnesota and not get granted IS status. From what I've been told by students it's impossible to predict. I even spoke to the woman in charge and she could not provide statistics on how many people are usually granted the IS status out of all those that apply. I actually favor Tufts and it's curriculum but I know I would be perfectly contempt in going to UMN as well. Last years tuition was around 55 K/yr and they wont have a number for this year until June 1st. Could go up or down from there. Is it worth the risk?

Personally, without knowing anything about either school, I'd say go to the cheaper one... If it's not easy to get residency, I wouldn't try. 6,000 isn't the biggest difference in price, but it still is nothing to write off. Go as cheap as possible.
 
What if you're deciding between two schools that are OOS? One school has lower tuition by about $6000/yr but the other allows you to switch to IS after a year if you could prove you moved there for reasons other than school ? If you haven't realized already this is exactly my dilemma. I'm deciding between Tufts and Minnesota and cant figure out whether to risk going to Minnesota and not get granted IS status. From what I've been told by students it's impossible to predict. I even spoke to the woman in charge and she could not provide statistics on how many people are usually granted the IS status out of all those that apply. I actually favor Tufts and it's curriculum but I know I would be perfectly contempt in going to UMN as well. Last years tuition was around 55 K/yr and they wont have a number for this year until June 1st. Could go up or down from there. Is it worth the risk?
Make sure you consider cost of living too. From a quick Google search it looks like rent is higher near Tufts, but I would recommend doing more research.
 
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