Dropping Out

[BlechBlah1]

Good evening, SDN. Classes begin again very soon for me and looking at the first week's schedule made me want to vomit. I have been seriously reconsidering a career in medicine since the end of the first year. I cannot no longer bring myself (or trick myself) to get excited about any aspect of classes or a future in medicine. I know that I am depressed and burnt out. I know that for me it's just not going to get any better/easier and that I need to drop out. Obviously, it would have been nice to know how much I would hate it 5-6 years ago when I decided to pursue medicine. How many people are certain at the age of 18, or even 24 for that matter, who they are let alone what they want in this world. Unfortunately, I do not have the courage to quit. Anyone else feeling me here?

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[Wednesday]

Why don't you 1. take a year off, 2. get some treatment for your depression and 3. find someone at your school to talk to (student affairs dean?). Dropping out is okay as long as that is what you really want to do and if you're depressed, you may not be able to know what you really want. One thing to keep in mind is that eventually most med student realize that the perfect utopia that they believed medicine to be as a premed, isn't exactly realistic and they begin to make decisions (ie specialty choice) based more on reality.

Talking to someone is key though. Try not to make such an important decision in a vacuum. Good luck.

 

[8744]

Tough it out. You obviously passed first year, you can certainly pass second year. If you don't like it then just do the bare minimum required to pass, relax, and three years from now you can take your MD degree and pursue some other career.

Third year is nowhere nearly as bad as second year and fourth year, especially if you don't intend to match, can be a walk in the park. On the other hand you may enjoy third and fourth year.

Don't be a quitter. At least wait until the middle of third year to decide if you like medicine or not. First and second year are not typical of the medical profession.

 

[8744]

...One thing to keep in mind is that eventually most med student realize that the perfect utopia that they believed medicine to be as a premed, isn't exactly realistic...

Exactly. It's just a job for most of us. An interesting sometimes demanding job but still just a job.

 

[Jonathan13180]

As someone who is now waiting/receiving secondaries from schools and is constantly on pins and needles i feel i should throw my two cents in...Be thankful for the opportunity you have provided yourself for getting into medical school, and just realize there a about 1000 people who would kill (not literally) to be in your position. Nothing in life is worth doing if it isnt difficult. You once made the decision to pursue medicine, why? All my friends who are 3rd and 4th years (im assuming youre going into your 2nd) said that the first two years suck, but how they love the rotations, how the rotations are what they always invisioned med school would be. Take it from someone who is struggling to get to where you are....keep your chin up and just remember why you wanna be a doc in the first place.

 

[Dragonfly411]

I know some people close to me who felt burnt out, as well, after first year, and they were seriously considering dropping out of medical school. Instead, they took some time off (I think it was half a year to a whole year), and they came back rejuvenated and ready to be a student again. One has already graduated and is currently a first year resident, and the other is finishing up second year. Thus, I'm definitely with the above poster who suggested that you talk with someone and/or take a year off.

I haven't begun medical school yet so I can't directly empathize with your situation, but I know that when we're burnt out and things get really tough in our lives, we tend to make decisions that we normally wouldn't have made if we weren't in such a distressed state. Dropping out of med school is a huge decision, and with decisions like these, I always think it's best that whether you're content, distressed, sad, angry, ecstatic, etc., your decision remains the same. Taking time off may allow you to decide with a clearer mind and come to a more definitive answer to your problem.

Well, good luck! Hope you reach a decision that satisfies you in the long run.

 

[Arsenic]

Why don't you 1. take a year off, 2. get some treatment for your depression and 3. find someone at your school to talk to (student affairs dean?). Dropping out is okay as long as that is what you really want to do and if you're depressed, you may not be able to know what you really want. One thing to keep in mind is that eventually most med student realize that the perfect utopia that they believed medicine to be as a premed, isn't exactly realistic and they begin to make decisions (ie specialty choice) based more on reality.

Talking to someone is key though. Try not to make such an important decision in a vacuum. Good luck.

exactly, i think a lot of us feel the way you do or at least come close to it during some point in the first 2 years. if you're really at the point where your next step is quitting, taking a year off isnt going to change anything. a year from now if you still want to quit, do it. but at least you'll give yourself time to decompress and try to reset.

 

[Entei]

I was in your same shoes last year. I hated second year, and I was giving serious thought to dropping out. I really thought I had entered the wrong field, and I just couldn't get excited about anything related to medicine at all. I hated every second of school, and looking back, I think I pretty much just sleep-walked through second year. But now I'm a third year, and I'm so glad I pushed through. It just gets SO much better because you're actually doing some work and can feel halfway useful, instead of just taking up space in a lecture hall day in and day out. I agree 100% with Panda: stick it out until you're into third year at least. It's completely different from the first two years.

I never really considered taking a year off because it just raises too many eyebrows and, really, to me, doesn't accomplish very much because when you get back, you'll still have that horrid second year staring you in the face. For me, it was easier to just push on through and hope that third year would turn out to be better. Good luck!

Good evening, SDN. Classes begin again very soon for me and looking at the first week's schedule made me want to vomit. I have been seriously reconsidering a career in medicine since the end of the first year. I cannot no longer bring myself (or trick myself) to get excited about any aspect of classes or a future in medicine. I know that I am depressed and burnt out. I know that for me it's just not going to get any better/easier and that I need to drop out. Obviously, it would have been nice to know how much I would hate it 5-6 years ago when I decided to pursue medicine. How many people are certain at the age of 18, or even 24 for that matter, who they are let alone what they want in this world. Unfortunately, I do not have the courage to quit. Anyone else feeling me here?

 

[rad_one]

It's not an easy journey. But in 10 or 20 years, you will look back and thank yourself for sticking it out. If I may borrow a quote from "A League of Their Own": "It's supposed to be hard. The hard is what makes it great. If it was easy, everyone would do it." People who don't want to suffer the journey, for whatever reason, go to nursing/PA school or whatever. The hotter the fire, the stronger the steel. You've come this far....

 

[Paws]

It's not an easy journey. But in 10 or 20 years, you will look back and thank yourself for sticking it out. If I may borrow a quote from "A League of Their Own": "It's supposed to be hard. The hard is what makes it great. If it was easy, everyone would do it." People who don't want to suffer the journey, for whatever reason, go to nursing/PA school or whatever. The hotter the fire, the stronger the steel. You've come this far....

When I had started to absolutely hate my classmates, the rediculous typo ridden lecture notes and the awful tiny auditorium we were all crammed into - and it was January, cold and dark - I thought, h%ll. How am I going to get the heck out of here? Then I decide the h%ll with everyone and everything else. I was just going to suck it up and get through and do it for myself. But I was sure that I was in for a big mistake in my life - I felt that bad.

But I began to shadow a doc that I really liked. She wasn't a super competitive, unfriendly classmate, or a boring prof or an unresponsive financial aid person. She was normal! And I loved working with her. I began to feel normal again, too. I liked the other docs and they were really friendly and supportive. I began to seriously feel better.

So, what worked for me was to get out of the classroom, away from my classmates (most) and to get back into the clinic where I re-experienced why I wanted to do medicine in the first place. It still works everytime, I shadow a new doc and I feel great!

 

[Medikit]

You definitely need to ask if you can defer for a year.

 

[fun8stuff]

Don't be a quitter. At least wait until the middle of third year to decide if you like medicine or not. First and second year are not typical of the medical profession.

lol... but by the time 3rd year comes along, you will be too much in debt to back out. I think this happens to a fair amount of students. There is really no way you could drop out 3rd year... I mean, you probably be close to 100k in debt and there aren't very many other occupations that could guarentee you the salary to pay that off...

 

[PiccoloPlaya]

Go drink a couple beers.

 

[cali7925]

Dude, dont drop out. They got meds for everything now. Just go see a shrink, tell them you've been depressed and they will give u happy pills. It'll take about 6 weeks to kick in and if you are still thinking of dropping out, just ask them to up the dose.

Meds are easier to get than candy. Docs give this stuff out like people giving out candy during halloween. I say, drug yourself up until you finish med school. I f'in hate med schl and i think drugs are the way to go.....for sure.

Good evening, SDN. Classes begin again very soon for me and looking at the first week's schedule made me want to vomit. I have been seriously reconsidering a career in medicine since the end of the first year. I cannot no longer bring myself (or trick myself) to get excited about any aspect of classes or a future in medicine. I know that I am depressed and burnt out. I know that for me it's just not going to get any better/easier and that I need to drop out. Obviously, it would have been nice to know how much I would hate it 5-6 years ago when I decided to pursue medicine. How many people are certain at the age of 18, or even 24 for that matter, who they are let alone what they want in this world. Unfortunately, I do not have the courage to quit. Anyone else feeling me here?

 

[Realest]

The hotter the fire, the stronger the steel.

I never heard this proverb before but I'm lovin it.

Stick it out man. And if you need encouragement during 2nd year, just read this thread over again - there's a bunch of motivational posts on here. I haven't even started yet, so I have yet to be burned, but I second everyone who writes that clinical rotations are redemption for the sweat and tears of the first two years. Give it your best shot, and it will pay off.

Another thing to think about - what is your alternative? What would you do once you drop out of medical school and would it be that much better to justify your decision? If you are 100% passionate about another field, I'd say go for it. But in the end, a job is a job, and I'd rather be doing something that pays well, is interesting, and has postive social ramifications than being somebody's personal b!tch on $50,000 salary. Unless you're self-employed, you'll be starting out at the bottom wherever you go. At least in medical school, there are 100 other people in the pits with you, and at least you are guaranteed a good level of authority and independence at the end.

Good luck.

 

[Entei]

lol... but by the time 3rd year comes along, you will be too much in debt to back out. I think this happens to a fair amount of students. There is really no way you could drop out 3rd year... I mean, you probably be close to 100k in debt and there aren't very many other occupations that could guarentee you the salary to pay that off...

Or you can already be that much in debt during second year... It depends on which school you're attending and how much debt you accumulated in undergrad, doesn't it? Some of us reach that 100k point of no return sooner than others, but that doesn't change the fact that the OP should at least give himself a chance to see if he likes medicine better after the first two years are done.

 

[Blade28]

I hate to say it, but if you think you can just grit your teeth and suck it up, that's what I'd do. You'd really regret it if, down the line, you keep wondering what life as a doc would have been like.

Of course, if you're really miserable, then get out...no point continuing med school.

 

[closertofine]

When I had started to absolutely hate my classmates, the rediculous typo ridden lecture notes and the awful tiny auditorium we were all crammed into -

I'm sorry, I know this makes me an awful person, but this made me laugh

 

[Blade28]

Gotta love irony.

 

[JaneDough]

Dude, dont drop out. They got meds for everything now. Just go see a shrink, tell them you've been depressed and they will give u happy pills. It'll take about 6 weeks to kick in and if you are still thinking of dropping out, just ask them to up the dose.

Meds are easier to get than candy. Docs give this stuff out like people giving out candy during halloween. I say, drug yourself up until you finish med school. I f'in hate med schl and i think drugs are the way to go.....for sure.

Drugs are gooooood.
Seriously though, a lot of people in my class were hella burned out by middle of second year. I agree, it does suck. I was one of those people who seriously considered dropping out for a career in cosmetology through the Univeristy of Pheonix online education. You can make it. Take comfort in the knowledge that it is a rite of passage. Rent a funny movie, drink a beer, don't study for a day and know that you are SO close to being out of the really sh1tty part.

 

[Paws]

I'm sorry, I know this makes me an awful person, but this made me laugh

okay, okay you got me ... 'ridiculous'

but if it were me writing those darn lecture notes I would try and use the spell-check or have someone else proof my pages for me. No spell-check here on SDN, and we're all just gabbing here. Lecture notes are obsessively pored over by hundreds of eyes, year after year. That's what made me so mad that they weren't proofed ... like they didn't care.

 

[closertofine]

okay, okay you got me ... 'ridiculous'

but if it were me writing those darn lecture notes I would try and use the spell-check or have someone else proof my pages for me. No spell-check here on SDN, and we're all just gabbing here. Lecture notes are obsessively pored over by hundreds of eyes, year after year. That's what made me so mad that they weren't proofed ... like they didn't care.

I know...just kidding. I definitely relate to the frustration of un-proofed lecture notes...I was an editor for the transcript service at my school last year, but this year they've decided to do away with editors and just have everyone edit his or her own... not so sure how that will work.

 

[getunconcsious]

Well...I'm just an incoming MS1, so I don't know anything, but...I have been in situations like this where I want to quit something real bad, and my advice in any situation like that is just to try it first. Like after a month or the first set of exams or whatever you still hate it, then drop out. But I wouldn't just quit without knowing what exactly the 2nd year entails. Like anything else, it might be better than you expect. That said, I think if you really do hate it once you try it then you should move on to something else. I would not listen to the people who say to just grin and bear a career you hate and be miserable...better yet those that suggested you waste 3 more years getting an MD and THEN move on to a new career. That's just stupid. I'd say try it out and if you really hate it and it makes you miserable, quit. I will not stay in medical school if it makes me hate my life...it's just not worth it and life is too short to be depressed all the time. I know, because I'm one of the most depressed SDN'ers ever.

Just my .02

 

[justcurious09]

Don't make a major life decision while you're depressed. Go see a real therapist. Get on an antidepressant. Once your mood is restored you can make the decision to stay or go.

 

[MD'05]

Good evening, SDN. Classes begin again very soon for me and looking at the first week's schedule made me want to vomit. I have been seriously reconsidering a career in medicine since the end of the first year. I cannot no longer bring myself (or trick myself) to get excited about any aspect of classes or a future in medicine. I know that I am depressed and burnt out. I know that for me it's just not going to get any better/easier and that I need to drop out. Obviously, it would have been nice to know how much I would hate it 5-6 years ago when I decided to pursue medicine. How many people are certain at the age of 18, or even 24 for that matter, who they are let alone what they want in this world. Unfortunately, I do not have the courage to quit. Anyone else feeling me here?

I think many medical students go through this. I absolutely hated years 1 and 2. So freaking boring and at the time, so very pointless. However, years 1 and 2 set the foundation for your future knowledge acquisition.

Do not drop out and do not take a year off. You will look back and regret that you quit medicine. The only way you should take a year off is if you plan to do research in that year or work in the medical field. It really does get better. Especially once you are in third and fourth years. Find someone to talk to, but not your counselor. You do not want to be labeled as having emotional problems.

Good luck.

 

[loveumms]

lol... but by the time 3rd year comes along, you will be too much in debt to back out. I think this happens to a fair amount of students. There is really no way you could drop out 3rd year... I mean, you probably be close to 100k in debt and there aren't very many other occupations that could guarentee you the salary to pay that off...

I love this reply ... I think we have all felt like this!

I know I thought about dropping out of med school almost every day in the first two years. When studying for boards I probably thought about dropping out like 10 times a day. When I started third year and saw how hard all the interns/residents have it (and realized what was in store for me) I really gave it some serious consideration but then I remembered that I was already $80,000 in debt and what the heck else would I do if I dropped out? Me and some of my classmates think that the debt is what keeps us "sucked in". Don't get me wrong, becoming a doctor is incredibly rewarding but its a long and tough journey and you wouldn't be human if you didn't think about giving it up along the way.

Everyone has given great advice and I don't think I have much else to add but to know that you certainly are not alone in feeling this way. I don't know if I would take time off only because really all your doing is delaying having to come back and deal with second year but, if you feel like this would help then go for it. My mentality was to grin and bear it and try to make the best of it. Having a wondeful support system also helped me get through those tough times. My boyfriend/parents/friends were amazing and they were there to remind me why I choose this path when I was ready to throw in the towel.

Good luck with everything and feel free to PM me if you just want to talk.

 

[TheFlash]

i hope this upcoming M2 triple block doesn't "force me out" of medical school, otherwise also known as failing out.

 

[Dire Straits]

quit. there are reasons why so many doctors off themselves. and this is one of them. get out before you build up so much debt that it's too late and you basically become trapped in the profession like i see so many chumps have.

 

[Elysium]

I think it's definetly absurd to think that dropping out as a third year is a viable option. At my school you would be $150,000 in debt by that time and who the hell can afford that? Personally, I absolutely loathed first year and basically cried everyday I was there. I just thought it was the biggest bag of crap that I've ever dealt with in my life and by the end of the year I just really couldn't see the point of the whole thing anymore. And yes, I went out and worked in the real world for 5 years before I went to do my post-bacc. Then I worked while I took classes. In my first job, I worked on a film set from 5am to 10pm some nights where my sole responsibility was picking up cigarette butts and water bottles and taking crap from B movie actors like Neil Patrick Harris (alas, Doogie Howser was a total assclown) all the live long day. I stood outside with a walkie talkie when it was 20 F and my instructions were to "lock up the ducks" (meaning: I was supposed to make the ducks not quack while they were shooting inside, where it was warm). So, believe me, I've had my share of bullsh1t. The deal with med school was simply that it forced me to look deep within myself and decide what was really important. Is it worth it to be this unhappy? Is it worth it to have migraines on a daily basis? Muscle spasms? Anxiety attacks? Depression? Is it worth it to forgo all the other myriad things I'm interested in (art, literature, movies, politics, etc) so that I can memorize the innervation of the brachial plexus? Is it worth it to be 40 years old when I'm done and be over $200,000 in debt? When will I find time to have kids (as a woman, you gotta think about that)? Who will take care of them? It sure as hell can't be me, if I'm working 80+ hours a week getting central lines started so that herion addicts can find a good vein to inject into. What motivates one to be a doctor instead of a PA except ego (esp. if you're going into primary care)?

So, I took a leave of absence which is going to turn into a withdrawl. I don't regret it, I don't miss it, and I'm glad I got the experience of attending med school. I wouldn't know for sure that it wasn't for me if I didn't go through the process.

So, if you decide to do it, do it. Don't do it out of frustration or depression. Do it because you really can't imagine spending the rest of your life as a physician.

And, I know that some people get all flustered when someone leaves medical school. But here's the deal: go read the "would you do it again" thread in general residency to get an idea of just how many regret going down this path. There are LOTS.

And I also know that there are some diehards on SDN that preach that you can be a great parent and a medical student and balance your family and all that (though this is probably easier as a guy), but something has to give. It's hard to be on the top of your game and give it your all to your family. Unless you're happy doing FP in Iowa it's going to take more than just getting by to get into something competitive so that you can pay back those loans.

That's the end of my long f-ing rant. PM me if you have any questions.

Good luck.

 

[1Path]

What motivates one to be a doctor instead of a PA except ego (esp. if you're going into primary care)?.

First off, good for you for making what muct have been a tough decision. I've often thought myself that if I wanted to see patients ( I seem to be making a B-line for pathology) that I'd would probably have been a PA. Then again, if some serious changes in the work of those other PA's (Pathologist Assistants) are made, I'd probably at the very least seriously think about that too.

Bets of luck with whatever you do!