1. The SDN iPhone App is back and free through November! Get it today and please post a review on the App Store!
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Dismiss Notice

Engagement Ring

Discussion in 'Emergency Medicine' started by dinga, Nov 7, 2018.

  1. dinga

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2018
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    I want my fellow EM docs opinion. I would post elsewhere but I’m an EM doc so want my fellow colleagues opinion. Made a throw away for this.

    Uncomfortable topic about money. I luckily met the love of my life. I am a 2017 residency grad and never met my “forever” in Med school or residency. I now have met that person.

    Little backstory. We met as friends about 2 months after I got out of residency. Had a lot of chemistry but never really explored it. Just hung out as friends. About 4 months of being really good friends before we started dating. Now have been dating for 9 months. I am starting to think about the engagement in a few months. I’m 31 she is 30.

    She’s pretty middle of the road. She’s not extravagant nor “cheap”. What would be a reasonable budget to throw down for an engagement ring? I don’t want to go overboard but don’t want to be a cheap ass either. We have a really good relationship and she does a freaking ton for me. Just want her to feel loved and appreciated. That whole 2 months of salary online seems a bit unreasonable.
     
  2. Note: SDN Members do not see this ad.

  3. gro2001

    gro2001 SOCMOB
    Physician Faculty 10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2006
    Messages:
    899
    Likes Received:
    582
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    Obviously your budget is going to depend on what your financial situation is. I don't think most people follow the 2 months salary thing. That was all a DeBeers marketing ploy anyway. The average engagement ring price seems to be around $5k. Your financial situation is probably better than average, so a range of $5-10k seems reasonable. But that's only if you have that money to spend. If you don't have $5-10k lying around, start setting aside some cash now while you are still thinking about it until you have that much on hand. Don't just add it to the credit card debt. If you feel it's taking too long to save up the amount you desire, then you can't afford a more expensive ring. Which is not as big a deal as it may seem.
     
  4. dinga

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2018
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks for the reply. I will honestly pay cash for the ring. I am lucky to work in a low COL with high reimbursement. I’ve been able to stash about 45k in the bank while paying debts. So it’s not a problem of having the money available. I’ve hinted at this to her. I get the “I will be happy as long as I have you” response. I know she means that it’s just not a lot of help. I know she more so wants to be surprised but I would love to give her something special.
     
  5. GonnaBeADoc2222

    10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2008
    Messages:
    370
    Likes Received:
    417
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    Obviously, this is deeply personal.

    I spent ~2k on my wife's ring while we were still in medical school. It's what I could "afford." 4 years later, still going strong.

    The novelty of any ring will wear off. The success of your marriage will depend on much more.

    Personally, I'd rather take that money and go on a baller honeymoon.
     
    mmmnmmm and wholeheartedly like this.
  6. dinga

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2018
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    That’s the thing. I know I could give her a ring pop and she would marry me. I just don’t want to do that. You and I are at much different points in our lives when we looked at marriage. I know she doesn’t expect me to spend a lot. I just don’t know what to spend. I really appreciate her.

    For the first 4-5 months she spent hours driving back and forth to see me. We lived an hour apart and she has kids. We didn’t involve them until we were “certain” it would work out. She would often drive the hour to my place after she got her kids on the bus. A couple hours together and she would turn around and drive back so she could get them off the bus.

    I love her and appreciate that dedication. I think I owe her something for doing that. A nice ring maybe is the start? Just don’t know what to spend.
     
  7. BAM!

    BAM! Senior Member
    10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2004
    Messages:
    619
    Likes Received:
    181
    get a 1 carat Canadian ring. don't get a blood diamond. don't get something too big and flashy. not puny. spend less than or equal to 5k. you don't want to have to insure it. if the prongs loosen and she loses it, you don't want it be a huge loss. if you want to upgrade at 10 years, you can always do that.
     
    WilcoWorld likes this.
  8. erdoc111

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2018
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    3

    Congratulations. Have you asked her how big of a diamond she would like? My advice is don't be cheap. She will be wearing the ring for 50 years! Get around 1.5 carats since you can afford it. Honestly, that is not so big. Should be around 10,000-12,000. You won't regret it if she is a keeper. (I joined to answer this question!)
     
    #7 erdoc111, Nov 7, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2018
  9. VA Hopeful Dr

    VA Hopeful Dr Senior Member
    Physician 10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2004
    Messages:
    18,009
    Likes Received:
    19,389
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    I'm going to go against the grain here. Don't go nuts and spend all 45k you've saved on a ring, but if you want to splurge a little then go for it.

    As an intern I spent 10k (borrowed from my mother, paid back within a year) on my wife's ring. Its not huge (1.3 carat IIRC) but really good quality.

    We've been married 6 years and she'll still stare at it in good lighting as it gets really sparkly.

    You can upgrade later, but there's something to be said for having the same engagement ring for the entirety of your marriage (ie. something nice enough that an upgrade isn't really needed).
     
    lymphocyte, sunshinefl and miacomet like this.
  10. bravotwozero

    bravotwozero Chronically ambitious
    10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2004
    Messages:
    1,243
    Likes Received:
    530
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    This. More memorable and enjoyable than a ring.

    I spent a little over a grand. Please for the love of god don’t spend two months salary on a ring. Bunch of materialist nonsense...




    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  11. WilcoWorld

    WilcoWorld Senior Member
    10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2004
    Messages:
    2,899
    Likes Received:
    1,507
    First things first: The price of your ring need not and can not be proportional to the depth of your love for her. One knows no bounds, the other is finite.

    I bought my then fiance a ring with a beautiful sapphire from Brilliant Earth for around 2k, because blue is her favorite color and she wasn't down with blood diamonds. 10 years later she still loves the ring but hasn't worn it since the last time we attended a wedding.

    IMO the best answer to your question is - what kind of ring would your SO like the most? My wife is thrifty & not showy, so an expensive diamond would've been all wrong. That may not be the case with your special lady. Given that you're ready to make a life-long commitment, presumably you know her better than we do. So, go with what you think she'll like most. The main point I take away from this thread is that you can afford to spend more than you probably need to - that's a good problem to have.

    And (a slightly premature) congratulations!
     
    #10 WilcoWorld, Nov 7, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2018
  12. GatorCHOMPions

    10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2007
    Messages:
    96
    Likes Received:
    12
    Status:
    Attending Physician

    This. It all depends on the woman's values, expectations, and friends/social circle. Has she dropped any hints whatsoever? What kind of rings do her friends have? She may not show it, but the answer to the latter question matters a lot. Hopefully this ring is forever, so what's the big deal in spending some money if it lasts her whole life and can be passed down to your children, grandchildren, etc.? For an attending, I think 10k is in the low-normal range.
     
    VA Hopeful Dr likes this.
  13. southerndoc

    southerndoc life is good
    Physician Moderator Emeritus Lifetime Donor Classifieds Approved 10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2002
    Messages:
    11,721
    Likes Received:
    640
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    I spent a LOT on my wife's ring (more than a luxury car) and did a baller honeymoon (Turtle Island in Fiji). Was incredible and I don't regret spending so much money on either one. The ring will be hers for a lifetime and I didn't want to mess it up. The look on her eyes when she saw it and constantly watching her look at it (even to this day) makes my heart melt. Yes, she would've said yes to a ring pop, but I took it upon myself to go all out. 2.5 carat Harry Winston extremely high grade (don't remember the grading scale anymore).
     
    sunshinefl and VA Hopeful Dr like this.
  14. Saddleshoes

    10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2007
    Messages:
    519
    Likes Received:
    264
    Status:
    Dentist
    Here is a different idea...

    Find a custom jeweler and have him make a custom ring (for greater significance) with a lower cost diamond. Get her in on the design so she has "ownership" on the whole process.
    You will be amazed at how economical this approach can be when you work with a good custom jeweler.

    BTW Sometimes you can use old jewelry to melt down and recycle stones for even greater savings.
     
    WilcoWorld and miacomet like this.
  15. dchristismi

    dchristismi Gin and Tonic
    10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2003
    Messages:
    996
    Likes Received:
    343
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    From the ladies' perspective:

    I am not a flashy fancy person, and before I met my husband, I didn't really wear jewelry. (That my first marriage never resulted in jewelry unless I bought it myself might have been part of that...) Regardless, he wanted me to have something "fitting," whatever that means. Second marriage for both of us, and we spent all of $800 on the wedding, so take that into consideration. Anyway, I flat out rejected some huge, ridiculously gaudy nonsense. I wanted something simple, no little side stones or baguette nonsense. Nothing too frilly. We talked and I hemmed and hawed because it seemed silly to spend a chunk of change on something like that.

    We sort of "settled" on an idea that ended up becoming an insured-for-18K 2ct-total 3 stone which he got for a fraction of that because his family owns a pawn/jewelry store. Well, he'd better have gotten for a fraction of that... the family discount is, shall we say, substantial, and I didn't care if it had been pre-owned. (The stones were, the setting wasn't.) I didn't see it until he proposed, but had a pretty good idea of what it was going to be. FWIW, he's a nurse, not a doc.

    I think the kind of person she is should guide you. I still look at my ring and think that it's massive. But it's gorgeous and I love it, and I don't whack it on things as much as I used to. I deliberately requested a setting that wasn't really high because obviously, I wear gloves a lot. I'm rough on jewelry, and never take it off, so unlike my sister, I would be too hard on a sapphire (she has a sapphire and wears it most of the time.) I oogle it way more than I admit, and love making rainbows with it. Seriously. Airplane windows are ideal for this. I appreciate LED lighting more now because damn, that thing sparkles. Now, it normally has 2 months worth of soap scum on it, so...

    I think the 2 month salary thing is ridiculous for multiple reasons, but agree that you're in a position to be able to afford more than you need and depending on multiple factors, put you in that 5-10K range suggested by the others. There are deals out there if you look. (ahem, pawnshops. I happen to also be wearing a stunning tennis bracelet that I know he got for way less than it's appraised for because the shop was having a hard time selling it.) I did try on a $65K stunner at Tiffany's for grins... fun to look at, certainly not worth the brand-name markup. I bought a rental house for less than that. Still, it was fun to look. She'll drop hints, but they may be very subtle - this isn't the sort of thing many women are comfortable talking about either.

    Also, someone else mentioned insurance. Mine is under our homeowner's insurance under a rider. It's really not much, and it's peace of mind. She should have the prongs inspected yearly if not more frequently. I am lazy. My center stone came a little loose once and since I check it frequently being paranoid, had it fixed immediately. It wasn't going anywhere, though.

    Good luck!
     
  16. miacomet

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2018
    Messages:
    540
    Likes Received:
    261
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    I'm going out on a limb here- why don't you ask her what she might like? I agree on not more than 10k, and a fraction of that would be more than fine.

    Also, have you considered getting an antique ring, or a family heirloom, or one that's full of sentimental value, as others have suggested? I think a lot of dudes think it's all about the Benjamins, and it may be for some ladies (although perhaps one should steer clear of such potential partners), but some of the happiest are those with a ring that's unique and special for HER. Maybe she doesn't even like diamonds, or has always dreamed of a sapphire or a ruby.

    Some ladies like a choice- have you considered figuring out your price, and then picking out a few possibilities from a forward-thinking store or website (maybe Brilliant Earth- all conflict-free, and with several different gemstones, and you can customize) and then looking at options together? Seems like a nice couples thing to do.

    Congratulations and best of luck with a big decision. Let us know how it turns out.
     
  17. Stagg737

    5+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2013
    Messages:
    5,243
    Likes Received:
    7,024
    Status:
    Resident [Any Field]
    I spent about $3,500 on the engagement and wedding rings. Had an "emergency fund" which I had built. Since 7th grade I'd alwasy put ~$20 from each paycheck into it and eventually I was able to use it for that. For ~$2,800 I got a .9(ish) carat, vs1, i-color ring that my wife loves. Yes, it's a little smaller than most people wanted, but the color and cut make it look larger and the diamond itself is a lot nicer than most of the rings my wife's friends/family have. Imo, you can get a really nice ring for under $5k and $10k should get you a ring comparable to any designer ring if you know anything about stones. Unless she's asking or hinting that she wants something bigger/flashier, I'd keep it reasonable. You can check out sites like Blue Nile to get a general idea of what you can get for X dollars.

    I'd also say to keep in mind that you'll also be dropping $$$ on the wedding band as well. If you get something flashy and expensive for an engagement ring, it's likely your wedding band is going to be on the more expensive side as well. If you drop more than 10k on the engagement rign, be ready to drop another couple thousand on the wedding band. If you go with something a little less expensive (even 4-5k), you can get the matching band for 1k or less. Just something else to keep in mind.
     
  18. killerleaf

    killerleaf beware, beyond there be dragons
    10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2006
    Messages:
    586
    Likes Received:
    585
    Status:
    Academic Administration
    Agree with others, get her perspective on what she wants. I may drool a little over some of the flashy ones, but what I want to wear everyday is not some huge rock. It would get in my way, and I would be terrified I would lose the stone. What he got me is a modest setting, a modest looking stone. However, this stone is high quality--so he paid a little more than you would think. I love it, and have only taken it off to make bread or because I was required to for tests/operations. For our 20th anniversary, he bought me a "flashy" ring, with large stone, but lower quality than my "everyday" set. (and the flashy actually cost less--even 20 years later) I wear it when we go out, fancy occasions...and we are going on 29 years.

    He knew what I liked, and respected that. He could have gotten me a big flashy thing, but he knew that is not what I wanted to wear day in, day out. He is very smart!
     
  19. carbonizedeyesockets

    5+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2013
    Messages:
    156
    Likes Received:
    145
    Status:
    Resident [Any Field]
    The engagement for my wife was my grandmothers (free). I think I spent 500$ on the wedding ring. Maybe 1000. The wedding ring for me? 10$. Seriously. A simple tungsten band. I don’t wear it ever and I told her I wouldn’t.

    Honestly, I don’t get this nonsense, but if you have the money to spend, then knock yourself out.
     
    Matthew9Thirtyfive likes this.
  20. WilcoWorld

    WilcoWorld Senior Member
    10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2004
    Messages:
    2,899
    Likes Received:
    1,507
    A lot of good advice above - main points:

    1 - This is a personal decision. While my wife would've been pi$$ed if I spent 10k on a ring, others' would've been offended by the sapphire stone that my wife loved. If you can get her input without totally blowing the surprise, do it!
    2 - Spend the money if that's what will make her happy. Don't spend it out of some artificially created sense of obligation to prove that you're a baller. Cuz if "you call yourself a baller", then there's no question - that ring's gonna be so big that your lady needs to start doing curls.
     
    #19 WilcoWorld, Nov 7, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2018
    VA Hopeful Dr and racerwad like this.
  21. Rendar5

    15+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Nov 12, 2003
    Messages:
    6,965
    Likes Received:
    583
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    Whether it’s a $500, $2000, $10,000 or $45,000, it’s going to be whatever you and she are comfortable with. There’s no necessarily right answer.

    However, this is very important, if you want to spend a $5000 or more on a diamond ring, you really should go somewhere where you can get cheaper diamonds, such as the diamond district in Manhattan. They don’t have the markups that local stores have because there are fewer middle men. Make a vacation out of it.

    If you’re only planning on going cheap on it, it may not be worth it, though some stores there will ship out of state and still save several hundred dollars.

    I think I spent somewhere between six and $8000 on my wife’s customized engagement ring when I was an intern. I purchased it from a reputable dealer in the diamond district. If I had bothered to get it at my local neighborhood jewelry store, it would’ve cost $14K-$21K. If you actually want to spend a decent amount of money on it, message me and I can give you information on a reputable store in New York that I use every several years for a present.
     
    miacomet and Apollyon like this.
  22. NITRAS

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2018
    Messages:
    307
    Likes Received:
    359
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    Old dimond in new rings was the original plan, but I lreally liked a setting and kept it. We had a jeweler that my family trusted. Got a custom wedding band after we paid off my loans. I had a pretty good idea of what she wanted.

    In retrospect, I probably wouldn’t have spent so much then (as an ms2) $4k.

    I would encourage you that it’s ok to spend $2-4K. You can get a lot of ring for that. You can always upgrade later when you’re out of debt.
     
  23. killerleaf

    killerleaf beware, beyond there be dragons
    10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2006
    Messages:
    586
    Likes Received:
    585
    Status:
    Academic Administration
    Might I also suggest a little different route. Of course, others may think it is kinda old fashioned...but why not just a plain solitaire? Plan on a size that won't make her uncomfortable. Make sure it is quality. A simple wedding band, for now. then at milestones, (paying off loans, birth of baby, 10 year anniversary) replace the band with what we always have called an anniversary band..the one with diamonds around it? Then the next milestone, add another, so the solitaire is now surrounded. Next milestone, upgrade the bands to bigger diamonds...you get the idea.
     
    miacomet likes this.
  24. Tenk

    Faculty 10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2007
    Messages:
    1,383
    Likes Received:
    4,056
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    You don’t want to skimp here but at the same time blindly throwing money into a more expensive diamond definitely has diminishing returns. You can get a solid sized diamond for about 8k or so. The problem is it will probably have a yellowish hue or lots of inclusions when you look at it. I ended up spending about 14k on the center diamond because it got to a point where I couldn’t tell the difference between the 20k+ diamond and the one I bought without a lens. My advice: go to a dealer and just have them show you different diamonds that aren’t set in rings. You will see a pretty big difference in quality up to a point with the naked eye. Once you stop seeing major differences, don’t go above that because it doesn’t matter unless you carry a lens around to show people it’s a VVS1D.
     
    #23 Tenk, Nov 8, 2018
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2018
    Mighty Mouse and VA Hopeful Dr like this.
  25. d2305

    d2305 SDN Gold Donor
    Gold Donor Classifieds Approved 5+ Year Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2013
    Messages:
    477
    Likes Received:
    122
    Status:
    Non-Student
    Diamonds are basically worthless with the cost kept up by DeBeers.
     
    WilcoWorld and Goro like this.
  26. Raryn

    Raryn Infernal Internist / Enigmatic Endocrinologist
    Physician 10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2008
    Messages:
    6,899
    Likes Received:
    5,173
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    I got engaged as a resident and was also in a position I was able to save up a fair bit through a VLCOL (I lived with my parents in residency). I talked about it with my then-girlfriend now-wife about her philosophy for the matter. Some people want a cheaper ring now with plans to "upgrade" at a round number anniversary later on, some want a more expensive ring to keep forever, and some don't care and want a cheaper ring to keep forever.

    My wife was clear that she wanted a ring to keep forever so nothing with plans to upgrade. She'd have been OK with a sapphire or something, but i absolutely wanted a diamond given the better durability.

    We both wanted a unique design, nothing of the trendy halos or anything. She found a number she liked on pinterest, then I picked a designer and we did a custom ring based on one of them. Used Design Your Own Engagement Ring & Custom Jewelry | Green Lake Jewelry out of Seattle and did the whole process online - from drawings, to a wax model, to the final ring being made. No sales tax was nice. Their price on diamonds was competitive with any of the biggies (blue nile and such) but the custom design did cost a bit more than something off the shelf.

    In the end I spent $10-12k for a custom-made, 1.5 ct, unique cut that my wife still gets compliments on 3 years later.

    Could have gone cheaper, but she's happy, I'm happy, and it didn't break the bank or set retirement back by more than a few weeks long term ;)
     
  27. smq123

    smq123 John William Waterhouse
    Administrator Physician SDN Advisor 10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2006
    Messages:
    13,694
    Likes Received:
    3,104
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    I agree, but trying to convince people of this is impossible. I've suggested (in real life and elsewhere on SDN) that people buy something pretty, without spending more than $1000, by buying a simulated diamond (molecularly identical to anything that DeBeers sells) or Moissanite (difficult for the average, non-gemologist to tell apart by the naked eye), but people react like I'm suggesting that they also get a mail order bride or something.
     
    WilcoWorld, Ironspy and Apollyon like this.
  28. Psai

    Psai Snitches get zero vicryl
    Physician 2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2014
    Messages:
    11,001
    Likes Received:
    22,261
    Status:
    Resident [Any Field]
    Thats the power of advertising for you
     
    WilcoWorld likes this.
  29. TimesNewRoman

    5+ Year Member

    Joined:
    May 14, 2013
    Messages:
    2,150
    Likes Received:
    1,725
    Status:
    Fellow [Any Field]
    Depends on your financial situation. If you’re sitting on 200k in debt and working in academics in NYC, that’s very different if you have no debt, an emergency fund, and make 400k living in the Deep South.

    Cost of ring doesnt correlate with marriage Duration. I gave my wife a family ring and she loves it.

    I also don’t agree that you should spend a lot of money because she’ll wear it the next 50 years. You can buy her a cheaper ring, then upgrade in 15 years when you have paid off your house and have a nice nest egg. If I were you, I’d probably drop 2-5k depending on what she wanted in a ring. 2-3mo salary is insane. She doesn’t need a 75k ring.

    If I was doing it today, I’d spend 2k then buy her a 10-20k ring for a 20th anniversary.
     
    Makati2008 and NITRAS like this.
  30. thegenius

    thegenius Senior Wharf Rat
    10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2004
    Messages:
    1,030
    Likes Received:
    150
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    Why not just go ring shopping with her, get an idea of what she likes, and plan from there?

    I had nightmares that my wife would say "No" to my proposal because she hated the ring. Going shopping with her to get an idea of what she liked was the best decision I made. Proposed like 6-9 months later.
     
  31. Dr.McNinja

    Dr.McNinja Nobel War Prize Winner
    Moderator Physician Faculty 10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2006
    Messages:
    9,358
    Likes Received:
    5,265
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    Don't tell them. Just lie about the costs and buy the cheaper rock.
     
    smq123 likes this.
  32. Dr.McNinja

    Dr.McNinja Nobel War Prize Winner
    Moderator Physician Faculty 10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2006
    Messages:
    9,358
    Likes Received:
    5,265
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    I spent a week at Drawaqa Island, which is close to Turtle. I cheaped out on that by being a Fiji local when I got the res. We also got our Scuba Cert there, and swam with manta rays there.
    Agreed that you should spend to impress, but not everything needs to be high dollar to impress.
     
    smq123 likes this.
  33. Angry Birds

    Angry Birds Angry Troll
    5+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2011
    Messages:
    1,218
    Likes Received:
    1,470
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    You guys are all making me feel like a cheap ass.
     
    smq123 likes this.
  34. smq123

    smq123 John William Waterhouse
    Administrator Physician SDN Advisor 10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2006
    Messages:
    13,694
    Likes Received:
    3,104
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    I'm a cheap ass about these things too, although I think it's more socially acceptable for women to be cheap about what engagement ring they want. Maybe we can form an SDN support group.
     
    WilcoWorld likes this.
  35. killerleaf

    killerleaf beware, beyond there be dragons
    10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Sep 6, 2006
    Messages:
    586
    Likes Received:
    585
    Status:
    Academic Administration
    And now, for something else to really think about. I rarely took off my wedding set. I had to have it repaired once, because it was worn down too far on the bottom side, so they welded the two pieces (band and engagement ring) together, added some gold, and I was good for another 10-15 years. However, life intervened. Chemo and radiation and lumpectomy and lymph node removal plays havoc on your system, and your hands. I had to have my set cut off, because I woke up one morning and my arm/hand had swelled during the night, my finger was bluish, and it would not come off any other way. I am now wearing a "cute" silicone band--and very well may have to the rest of my life, as my hands have decided that they don't want to play nice. So all the planning, and joy and surprise...those are memories. Very good ones!

    Life happens. Make the most of what you have, when you have it. If you both want a big fancy ring, go for it. If something smaller is your taste, go for it. The thing of it is, marriage is not about the ring. Marriage goes on, even when the ring is now a necklace, because the hands are too swollen. Marriage goes on, life goes on. Seize everyday, make the memories.
     
    miacomet and smq123 like this.
  36. Angry Birds

    Angry Birds Angry Troll
    5+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2011
    Messages:
    1,218
    Likes Received:
    1,470
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    Granted I was an intern at the time. But yeah at the time I thought I had “spared no expense” being just around 3k. People talking about 10k wtf
     
  37. Dr.McNinja

    Dr.McNinja Nobel War Prize Winner
    Moderator Physician Faculty 10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2006
    Messages:
    9,358
    Likes Received:
    5,265
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    Yeah. Two month's salary. Am I buying her an engagement Mercedes?
     
    bravotwozero, Makati2008 and gutonc like this.
  38. smq123

    smq123 John William Waterhouse
    Administrator Physician SDN Advisor 10+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2006
    Messages:
    13,694
    Likes Received:
    3,104
    Status:
    Attending Physician
    Uh, if you DON'T spend that much money on her, then how will she know that you really, really love her?!?!

    </sarcasm>
     
  39. enalli

    2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    May 15, 2016
    Messages:
    127
    Likes Received:
    119
    Reading all these "she will be wearing it for a lifetime" comments would make you think lower-carat diamonds turn into graphite at year 3 or something.
     
  40. seaturtle98

    2+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2015
    Messages:
    310
    Likes Received:
    400
    Status:
    Pre-Medical
    We were broke college kids when my husband proposed to me. He had saved ~$2500 to get me a ring, and took me to pick it out. I’m very practical and have small hands, so I didn’t want anything large and cumbersome for fear that I would damage it. I picked out a ring that looked good on my hand, a .5 carat diamond solitaire...total price: $750, lol.

    It’s had to be repaired three times in 20 years due to wear and tear, having it cut off during pregnancy, and one unfortunate incident involving a garbage disposal. It’s still beautiful to me though and I love it just as much as the day we bought it.
     

Share This Page