- Joined
- Jun 4, 2016
- Messages
- 682
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I'm about 1 week out from my first shelf exam, and I haven't read a single book, flipped a single flashcard, or answered a single practice question. I am completely disillusioned with medical school after my Step 1 experience, and I can't bring myself to study. It just feels pointless when, after putting in 14 hour days for the better part of a year, answering over 12,000 q bank questions, and doing nearly half a million Anki reviews, I ended up with the same (or worse) score as people who put in half the effort and just crammed near the end. On top of that, I was lucky enough to get placed with an attending who is a notoriously harsh grader and "doesn't give honors" even though I'm busting my ass on the wards and essentially operating at the level of an intern. Kissing ass, grade-grubbing, or complaining to the administration are simply not in my nature...so it looks like it's going to be a very long year for me.
At this point, I don't know what specialty I'll end up in, but I do know that I will do everything in my power to "sell out" once I'm there. In fact, at this point, I am seriously considering taking my MD and doing something outside of medicine altogether. The "culture" of medicine so far has simply disgusted me. On the one hand they promote this culture of martyrdom where you are considered unfit if you don't put up with borderline inhumane (and sometimes outright illegal) working conditions...and on the other hand they use an archaic evaluation system that rewards unctuous showboats while punishing those diligent students who prefer to simply put their head down and work. If their goal is to kill whatever genuine enthusiasm one has for patient care, then they are doing an excellent job.
TLDR: Step 1 is fake, and third year is making me hate medicine
Shout out to @failedatlife
At this point, I don't know what specialty I'll end up in, but I do know that I will do everything in my power to "sell out" once I'm there. In fact, at this point, I am seriously considering taking my MD and doing something outside of medicine altogether. The "culture" of medicine so far has simply disgusted me. On the one hand they promote this culture of martyrdom where you are considered unfit if you don't put up with borderline inhumane (and sometimes outright illegal) working conditions...and on the other hand they use an archaic evaluation system that rewards unctuous showboats while punishing those diligent students who prefer to simply put their head down and work. If their goal is to kill whatever genuine enthusiasm one has for patient care, then they are doing an excellent job.
TLDR: Step 1 is fake, and third year is making me hate medicine
Shout out to @failedatlife