Failed first year. Getting back up is the hardest thing I have to do

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Arkangeloid said:
I mean, I won't tell outsiders I play these games. Hell, when I'm at a party, I totally fake who I am. I don't even use my real name amongst outsiders (not that they could pronounce it anyways). I sure as hell won't tell people about the trauma and suffering in my past/present.


Here's southernIM's post.
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Okay. @Priapism4tooLong - Ark is not my patient and that was not mean - it was genuine and honest at worst. And I'm never going to be a psychiatrist. Obviously. I mean...obviously.

Ark, I am not clued into what sort of trauma you faced but I will tell you that I once remember being a 17 yr old girl and bemoaning certain things in my childhood to a guy I liked. He was the first person to ever say "um...so what?". And at first I thought it was the most heinous response in the world...he was minimizing my pain. But within a few days I had really reconfigured everything to understand what he meant...that my belly never growled growing up...that my parents were around...that my life compared to that of most people was a cakewalk. And I see that in you too. It's not easy if you have chemical problems...I will agree with you on that, but I'm not so sure whether your interpretation of your pain is as accurate as you paint it in your own mind. Might need to start reexamining how everything looks from your very narrow perspective. It's like your egotism is such that you only see your own stuff. I admit that I don't like this about you.
 
CherryRedDracul said:
Hahaha, I have to admit I harbor the same feelings. I don't really hate on them. A lot of my friends are super creative cosplayers. All in all, I don't really give two craps what people think my interests, my hobbies, or anything about my life unless its constructive criticism. I'll live life how I see fit, and if you don't like it? Tough. Besides Step 1 looming and robbing me of my sanity, I'm as happy as I've ever been.
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All the best on step 1. When is it?
 
CherryRedDracul said:
Hahaha, I have to admit I harbor the same feelings. I don't really hate on them. A lot of my friends are super creative cosplayers. All in all, I don't really give two craps what people think my interests, my hobbies, or anything about my life unless its constructive criticism. I'll live life how I see fit, and if you don't like it? Tough. Besides Step 1 looming and robbing me of my sanity, I'm as happy as I've ever been.
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There's a huge difference between doing a hobby in the privacy of your own home, and going out and having fun in, say, a park. Of course a couple things comes to mind. First, the only difference between LARP and air soft or paintball is the costume. Besides, jock, LARP, geek, nerd, heck, even the hipsters can all agree. The real enemy is the furries.
 
Siggy said:
There's a huge difference between doing a hobby in the privacy of your own home, and going out and having fun in, say, a park. Of course a couple things comes to mind. First, the only difference between LARP and air soft or paintball is the costume. Besides, jock, LARP, geek, nerd, heck, even the hipsters can all agree. The real enemy is the furries.
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DAMN those furries!
 
CherryRedDracul said:
This upcoming Sunday. I might be the last person in my class to take this exam because I had to take an extension due to extenuating circumstances.

Goodbye, EDC NYC. Hello, no vacation. I really hate life right now actually hahahaha.
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Then I command you to stay off SDN till after Sunday.
 
Anastomoses said:
Okay. @Priapism4tooLong - Ark is not my patient and that was not mean - it was genuine and honest at worst. And I'm never going to be a psychiatrist. Obviously. I mean...obviously.

Ark, I am not clued into what sort of trauma you faced but I will tell you that I once remember being a 17 yr old girl and bemoaning certain things in my childhood to a guy I liked. He was the first person to ever say "um...so what?". And at first I thought it was the most heinous response in the world...he was minimizing my pain. But within a few days I had really reconfigured everything to understand what he meant...that my belly never growled growing up...that my parents were around...that my life compared to that of most people was a cakewalk. And I see that in you too. It's not easy if you have chemical problems...I will agree with you on that, but I'm not so sure whether your interpretation of your pain is as accurate as you paint it in your own mind. Might need to start reexamining how everything looks from your very narrow perspective. It's like your egotism is such that you only see your own stuff. I admit that I don't like this about you.
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Well, maybe you're right. I don't have it so bad compared to some people. Tbh, I think most of the crappiness in my life comes from medical school, and that's a temporary thing.

Don't get me wrong, my life is still bad. But I think a lot of that badness might be transient.


Think.
 
Arkangeloid said:
Well, maybe you're right. I don't have it so bad compared to some people. Tbh, I think most of the crappiness in my life comes from medical school, and that's a temporary thing.

Don't get me wrong, my life is still bad. But I think a lot of that badness might be transient.


Think.
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Let's do an exercise. Name the crappy things in your life. List them.
 
Arkangeloid said:
Well, maybe you're right. I don't have it so bad compared to some people. Tbh, I think most of the crappiness in my life comes from medical school, and that's a temporary thing.

Don't get me wrong, my life is still bad. But I think a lot of that badness might be transient.


Think.
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I think a lot of it has to do with your nearly always fatalistic perception of things which you greatly hold onto instead of thinking of the possibility you might be wrong.
 
Anastomoses said:
You're muddling a bunch of **** together. Any large degree of escapism involves hating your reality and or self.

And yeah...I didn't even wear a flip of makeup on my vacation. But no, adding a little cosmetics to look gorgeous or prettier is not the equivalent of whatever bad analogy you're making.
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You're trying to make it sound like people that play videos are bottom-feeders that never see the surface and are recluse-like. Every single one of my friends that plays games is above average socially. The whole shy guy that doesn't talk to anyone and is addicted to his computer isn't really prevalent, at least not in medical school.
 
Anastomoses said:
Let's do an exercise. Name the crappy things in your life. List them.
Click to expand...

Ok, I'll do it.

1) Bottom of the med school class
2) Future prospects look rather grim
3) Relatively poor relationship with family
4) Doing worse socially and professionally than all my peers in and out of med school
5) Not as buff/cut as I would like to be
6) Not as charismatic or cool as I would like to be
7) Forever alone
8) Starting to think that medicine isn't all it's cracked up to be

There are probably a few more I'm forgetting, but those are the big ones.
 
PL198 said:
You're trying to make it sound like people that play videos are bottom-feeders that never see the surface and are recluse-like. Every single one of my friends that plays games is above average socially. The whole shy guy that doesn't talk to anyone and is addicted to his computer isn't really prevalent, at least not in medical school.
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I have a different definition of bottom-feeder than maybe you do.

I never suggested they are all shy guys. and I'm mostly stuck to my computer and slightly more on the anti-social end...so that's not my issue with them. And I'm unconvinced that these people are socially gifted/above average/make for lovely bedfellows. The ones I've met are awkward, some of them even froth, and they are eager and weird - maybe some have developed a semblance of normalcy by the time they reach adulthood. I haven't been in touch.

Edit: I just realized we're clumping a lot of people together. I did not mean to suggest the average guy who plays video games sometimes is in this group I'm discussing. No no no. Don't bunch them all together. I go dancing sometimes, but that doesn't make me a club rat.
 
Wit and reaction is needed in LoL? LOL. League is casual garbage and you guys should feel bad about your awful taste in video games. MOBA's are one of the genres that require the least amoutn of skill. Why do you think so many girls like it? (no offense ladies)
 
Arkangeloid said:
Ok, I'll do it.

1) Bottom of the med school class
2) Future prospects look rather grim
3) Relatively poor relationship with family
4) Doing worse socially and professionally than all my peers in and out of med school
5) Not as buff/cut as I would like to be
6) Not as charismatic or cool as I would like to be
7) Forever alone
8) Starting to think that medicine isn't all it's cracked up to be

There are probably a few more I'm forgetting, but those are the big ones.
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Chin up dude, attitude is everything.

1. You're in a very respectable program, so bottom of your class still means you are doing better than hundreds (maybe thousands after throwing carib in there) of other students.
2.Why?
3. Work at it
4. Ever heard the phrase "fake it til you make it?" Try that.
5. You have the power to change that.
6. (see #3 and #4)
7. (See #5)
8. That may be true (not as many quickies in closets with nurses as you want), but it's a hell of a lot better than many other professions.

You could do so much better with a little bit of confidence and positive attitude
 
Arkangeloid said:
Ok, I'll do it.

1) Bottom of the med school class
2) Future prospects look rather grim
3) Relatively poor relationship with family
4) Doing worse socially and professionally than all my peers in and out of med school
5) Not as buff/cut as I would like to be
6) Not as charismatic or cool as I would like to be
7) Forever alone
8) Starting to think that medicine isn't all it's cracked up to be

There are probably a few more I'm forgetting, but those are the big ones.
Click to expand...
Fatalistic and wrong. I swear you sound like you're in high school. Each one of those things you have more control over than you believe.
 
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Arkangeloid said:
Ok, I'll do it.

1) Bottom of the med school class
2) Future prospects look rather grim
3) Relatively poor relationship with family
4) Doing worse socially and professionally than all my peers in and out of med school
5) Not as buff/cut as I would like to be
6) Not as charismatic or cool as I would like to be
7) Forever alone
8) Starting to think that medicine isn't all it's cracked up to be

There are probably a few more I'm forgetting, but those are the big ones.
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I'm sending you my reply in PM.
 
Anastomoses said:
Please tell me you're holding out on sharing the serious ones.
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This. I hate to sound like a dick, but it's true. Nearly every issue you have, you also have control over.

I'm lucky enough that I've never had any serious problems in my life, and everyday I'm thankful for that. A pre-med friend of mine was driving up to see his family about a year ago when he got into a car accident and is now quadriplegic, with everything that he'd worked so hard for just gone. He has since maxed out his insurance and his parents are unsure of how to care for him for the rest of his life. He has justification to be sad.

If you really feel this bad maybe you should seek some professional help.
 
Akali said:
Wit and reaction is needed in LoL? LOL. League is casual garbage and you guys should feel bad about your awful taste in video games. MOBA's are one of the genres that require the least amoutn of skill. Why do you think so many girls like it? (no offense ladies)
Click to expand...

My 4-year-old niece likes to play princess makeup games on my phone. She should feel bad about her awful taste in video games. Makeup games are one of the genres that require the least amount of skill. Why do you think so many 4-year-old girls like it? (No offense 4-year-old girls).
 
Akali said:
Wit and reaction is needed in LoL? LOL. League is casual garbage and you guys should feel bad about your awful taste in video games. MOBA's are one of the genres that require the least amoutn of skill. Why do you think so many girls like it? (no offense ladies)
Click to expand...

games like league are way more calculation based than something like cod. I'm not really sure what you mean. I'm talking about actual decent level play (plat and higher).
 
I do not know why you posted this on SDN. From what I have read you have been given a second chance. Instead of concerning yourself with what you did wrong the first year, you are now concerned with how other people view you. FIRST THING IS FIRST, make new friends to study with, learn what you did wrong, and if your previous class mates makes fun of you, who cares! Do what you go to do.
From What I read you are more concerned about other peoples' opinions instead of being a doctor. I think you have been given another chance to succeed in life, but you have not realized that. Now get back up and focus on your career. In 5 years when you are done it does not matter you failed your first year, you got back up and continued. I want to say something mean because you sound ungrateful.
 
DermViser said:
Fatalistic and wrong. I swear you sound like you're in high school. Each one of those things you have more control over than you believe.
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Perhaps.

How do you think I could be less fatalistic?
 
Arkangeloid said:
Perhaps.

How do you think I could be less fatalistic?
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Um, maybe if you could change your perceptions of things. Or maybe at least remind yourself that you don't have all the answers, and that maybe...just maybe..you're perceiving it differently than how most would perceive it.
 
PL198 said:
games like league are way more calculation based than something like cod. I'm not really sure what you mean. I'm talking about actual decent level play (plat and higher).
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League of Legends is the DO degree of the MOBA world, brah - takes less skill, less intelligence, and you get crapped on by the far superior DOTA players.
 
Wordead said:
League of Legends is the DO degree of the MOBA world, brah - takes less skill, less intelligence, and you get crapped on by the far superior DOTA players.
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I've never played DOTA, but I actually played HON( chills run down spine thinking about that, let's pretend it never happened) before league. From what I've read, they each have things their good at. I'll probably try DOTA this summer, not really trying to jump in during school and try to figure stuff out.
 
PL198 said:
games like league are way more calculation based than something like cod. I'm not really sure what you mean. I'm talking about actual decent level play (plat and higher).
Click to expand...

I mean RTS and fighters. Still, I also believe that the fast reactions, strategy, and coordination required for shooters is also much more impressive than what is needed for MOBA's.
 
Akali said:
I mean RTS and fighters. Still, I also believe that the fast reactions, strategy, and coordination required for shooters is also much more impressive than what is needed for MOBA's.
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Eh I played shooter games at a really high level when I was younger, like way better relatively than I am at league, and honestly it's just who can find the biggest gimmicks and abuse them, even among the most competitive levels. I got sick of that real fast.
 
dadaddadaBATMAN said:
Thanks for restraining yourself.
I have my popcorn ready if you change your mind, but it probably wouldn't be very productive.
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HAha, I think the OP has stopped looking at her own thread. I hope you got the hint from everyone.
 
failed29 said:
How do I get past this? This is the hardest thing obstacle that I have ever had to overcome.
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your current classmates will respect you a LOT more if you are the one who toughs it out and perseveres instead of the one who throws in the towel. additionally, many of your new classmates will look to you for guidance. keep your head down and push on forward. good luck.
 
Akali said:
I mean RTS and fighters. Still, I also believe that the fast reactions, strategy, and coordination required for shooters is also much more impressive than what is needed for MOBA's.
Click to expand...

MOBAs are more about pacing, knowing when to engage, game sense, etc. RTS is generally about build orders and macro early, and micro/unit selection in the late game. Shooters are primarily about twitch capabilities, with a small amount of "teamwork" if you play something like CS or BF4.

I've been playing Dota 2 for a while now and I'm still pretty terrible, since my game sense is kind of wonky. I'm a much better CS player than Dota 2 (or WC3 back in the day), but something about it continually pulls me back. There's a lot less repetition IMO in public Dota 2 games compared to CS or RTS games. With each of the different choices, games play out significantly different every time.

As to Ark - If video games help you out with your depression, then play them (as long as it's in moderation and you're not losing your health or missing assignments/studying time, as DermViser said). Don't let the sweeping generalizations that Anasto is making regarding heavy gamers influence you.
 
OP: I knew several people who had to repeat. It hardly came up and if it did they just said they had a bad year and moved on. Life happens, if they don't understand that then they have more to learn in med school than just books stuff. The students all ended up matching just fine.
 
failed29 said:
Hey everyone,

I am a 25 year old medical student in Florida (MD) who just found out 3 weeks ago that I failed my first year of medical school. The dean of medicine is asking me to repeat the first year. I don't know what I did wrong this past year. I studied as hard as my classmates, but I guess I was not studying enough. I think I can repeat first year successfully because I have already seen the material but I have a few questions on how this affects me.

I have to start first year with a new class on August 4th.

How do I tell my friends that I failed? I don't want to be labeled by my classmates and professors as the girl who was forced to repeat first year. I think my close friends would understand but what do I do if I run into other friends from my previous class when I am back on campus for first year work? My campus is really small and gossip and rumors spread really fast. I know I shouldn't be worried about this, and I should be focusing on my studies but honestly, studying becomes really hard if you don't have a support system of friends. How do I tell my new classmates that I am forced to repeat first year?

I am grateful for the opportunity to repeat, but I am worried I am going to be a loner for the next 4 years because most kids in medical school will not want to associate with the kid who failed a year. I screwed up. I never had any trouble academically in my life, and this is severely hurting my self image.

If anyone has had to repeat first year has advice for this failure of a lady, I would be greatly appreciated.

I told a professor in one of my classes from first year that I have to repeat. He told me that dealing with the boredom of the same material will be tough.

How do I get past this? This is the hardest thing obstacle that I have ever had to overcome.
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Hi Failed, I'm also repeating my first year of med sch.How are u coping so far?
 
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