Family-Relatives Say The Darndest Things...

[BombsAway]

From "The American President" when a friend of Annette Benning's character is trying to persuade her to go ahead and date the President: "The man is the leader of the free world. Isn't it possible our standards are just a tad high?"

Well it's funnier becasue UW is usually in the top 10 (#12 this year) while Dartmouth is in the 30's. However, to the layperson the ivy name is familiar and thought to be more prestigious.

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[SpoiledMilk]

A good nature, but uneducated aunt living on a small island off the coast of Canada told me that I should give up on pursuing medicine and get any job, including one at a Wal-mart making $10/hr, because I'm just too old. Her entire family, sons and husband, kept pressuring me to "wake-up" when I visited them just before I started applying. Throughout the entire visit, the criticism was persistent...

Needless to say, their lack of support makes me appreciate the 1000s of geographical miles between us now, when once I wished we lived closer together...

 

[chilimeetsthecheese]

hahahahahahaha!

yeah I know haha, I was like okay i hope you never need to see a doctor then

 

[willow84]

This thread is making me realize how lucky I am to have my parents! I'm a nontrad in my 30s, and when I quit my job to do a post-bacc both of my parents were like, "you rock! You will get into whatever med schools you apply to." Of course my mother immediately started telling people I was already a DR. Now that I have acceptances in hand, my mom happily tells everyone from the pharmacist at the grocery store to distant relatives.

I definitely had naysayers from outside of my family though. Tons of people gave me the, "uh you do realize it's hard to get into medical school, right?... And you're older. What about children?" Friends who thought I was nuts. Friends who probably still think I'm nuts!

 

[Laterthansooner]

From "The American President" when a friend of Annette Benning's character is trying to persuade her to go ahead and date the President: "The man is the leader of the free world. Isn't it possible our standards are just a tad high?"

Loooooooved this movie. Also, meant to tell you in another thread that I saw Lady Bird a couple weeks ago and Wonder this past weekend. Liked both. The scene in LB when she's sitting at the computer waiting to see which UC she got into hit a little too close to home. I was hyperventilating a bit in the theatre. As for Wonder, a) did you see the news story about the kid who has the disease IRL? (Completely inspiring!) and b) nice to see Julia Roberts come back to the screen.

Apologies for hijacking the thread momentarily.

 

[de Ribas]

things were probably a little different 20+ years ago.

just a little...

 

[jazzmetal]

Loooooooved this movie. Also, meant to tell you in another thread that I saw Lady Bird a couple weeks ago and Wonder this past weekend. Liked both. The scene in LB when she's sitting at the computer waiting to see which UC she got into hit a little too close to home. I was hyperventilating a bit in the theatre. As for Wonder, a) did you see the news story about the kid who has the disease IRL? (Completely inspiring!) and b) nice to see Julia Roberts come back to the screen.

Apologies for hijacking the thread momentarily.

PMed you so we can talk more about movies!

 

[ShyGuy0082]

I guess I'll be the exception. My daughter wanted to be a doctor since she was 5 yrs old (I know it sounds cheesy). But I'm doing all the leg work for her (in terms of the whole process). I've seen enough neurotic pre-meds on SDN to know better and I don't want her to become that. So I explained the whole process to her, what she needs to do, grades, ECs, MCAT and she's just doing it. She's a freshmen in our state UG, after first semester, looks like she will end up with 3.82 cGPA and 3.78 sGPA.

My wife and I never pushed her to be a doctor but I did stress enough to my daughter that this road is long and painful. At least she understands what she's getting into.

 

[SpoiledMilk]

I guess I'll be the exception. My daughter wanted to be a doctor since she was 5 yrs old (I know it sounds cheesy). But I'm doing all the leg work for her (in terms of the whole process). I've seen enough neurotic pre-meds on SDN to know better and I don't want her to become that. So I explained the whole process to her, what she needs to do, grades, ECs, MCAT and she's just doing it. She's a freshmen in our state UG, after first semester, looks like she will end up with 3.82 cGPA and 3.78 sGPA.

My wife and I never pushed her to be a doctor but I did stress enough to my daughter that this road is long and painful. At least she understands what she's getting into.

She is very fortunate to have her parents' support. But I hope that when the time comes, you start getting her more involved in the whole process instead of continuing to do everything for her. This entire process is full of highs and lows. So being disappointed is inevitable. Learning how to process/grow from disappointments will help ensure that she will be able to better handle the ordeal of dealing with dying patients, etc. as a physician...

 

[ShyGuy0082]

She is very fortunate to have her parents' support. But I hope that when the time comes, you start getting her more involved in the whole process instead of continuing to do everything for her. This entire process is full of highs and lows. So being disappointed is inevitable. Learning how to process/grow from disappointments will help ensure that she will be able to better handle the ordeal of dealing with dying patients, etc. as a physician...

Of course. I can only bring her to the well, she will have to drink from it. She knows it. When the time comes, she will be the one actually doing it.

 

[CloverBale]

I was pumped to tell my family I got into UW. They were like "cool, but have you heard back from Dartmouth?"

Haters.

You're literally #goals

 

[CloverBale]

Of course. I can only bring her to the well, she will have to drink from it. She knows it. When the time comes, she will be the one actually doing it.

Can you adopt me.

 

[PreMedMissteps]

That's still better than Asian parents & relatives. I basically have 2 choices: 1. Harvard, Yale, Penn calibre or 2. Disowned.

When i read posts like this I wonder why these Asian kids don't hand these relatives an app and tell them, "have at it...see where you get in."

 

[bunnyluvr]

When i read posts like this I wonder why these Asian kids don't hand these relatives an app and tell them, "have at it...see where you get in."

Their response is always "don't compare yourself to me. See where {insert X person of similar age as you} got in. He got a 70000 on his SATs!!"

 

[Gilakend]

When all the Asian kids get in they should tell their parents they've instead decided to become a traveling erotic snow-globe salesman to spite them before telling them the good word.

 

[PreMedMissteps]

Their response is always "don't compare yourself to me. See where {insert X person of similar age as you} got in. He got a 70000 on his SATs!!"

So are you supposed to compare their success to other parents of similar age who are far more successful? Hey, you've been in the usa for 15 years and only have (fill in the blank). This guy moved here 10 years ago and already has 4 restaurants.

 

[SpoiledMilk]

Oh not to mention relatives I haven’t spoken to in years coming out of the blue asking for free healthcare.

AND bring shame to the family's "face" or honor if you say, "No, I can't." AMIRITE?

I had to provide so much services pro-Bono in my previous career that it stopped being a laughing matter after the 100ed time...

 

[Kingsmen2018]

Lol I love this. Probably the 7th best thing about getting accepted into a US MD is giving the middle fingers to everyone who said u wouldn't do it.

 

[actioncat]

Lol I love this. Probably the 7th best thing about getting accepted into a US MD is giving the middle fingers to everyone who said u wouldn't do it.

On hard nights of studying this is one of the things that keeps me going sometimes. "Gotta get that A so I can prove everyone who said I couldn't get in wrong...."

 

[fourandtwo]

When i read posts like this I wonder why these Asian kids don't hand these relatives an app and tell them, "have at it...see where you get in."

Their response is always "don't compare yourself to me. See where {insert X person of similar age as you} got in. He got a 70000 on his SATs!!"

Haha my mom used to do that and my crazy teenage ass used to say "how come I can't get better grades? How come you won't get richer, seems easy to me too,"

In retrospect I feel very sad I ever said those things

 

[fourandtwo]

10/10 relate to the "rich doctor husband" thing. My mom has literally said, "So, you're going to medical school to find a husband right?" Yes mom. I'm definitely planning on being 200+ thousand dollars in debt for the sole purpose to find a husband. That's my top priority

Plot twist: found said husband but just discovered
im a lesbian!!

 

[PreMedMissteps]

Haha my mom used to do that and my crazy teenage ass used to say "how come I can't get better grades? How come you won't get richer, seems easy to me too,"

In retrospect I feel very sad I ever said those things

Don't feel too badly.... sometimes we parents do need to be put in our place.

 

[JonathanHusky]

when I applied last cycle and didn't get a since II, my dad and one of my close uncle's immediate reaction was to go the Caribbean despite me telling them of the dangers of that... I think for a lot of the Asian families it's just the idea of having a doctor in the family that seems so appealing to them.. don't get me wrong, my parents have supported me beyond belief and I wouldn't be where I am w/o them but at the same time if I listened to their advice I'd be dying in the Caribbean rn instead of holding on to an MD acceptance... the lack of knowledge outside people have about this whole process isn't surprising, what's surprising is how they refuse to believe what you tell them about it lol

 

[DPTinthemaking15]

Long story short, my mom believes I could solve the cure for cancer. Meanwhile, my friends assume I can barely tie my shoes. Jokes on them, I just bought some sweet laceless shoes

 

[de Ribas]

Meanwhile, my friends assume I can barely tie my shoes. Jokes on them, I just bought some sweet laceless shoes

You are just avoiding an obstacle; accept the challenge.

 

[aaronrodgers]

You are just avoiding an obstacle; accept the challenge.

the laziest way is the most efficient way though

 

[WingedOx]

And your parents are all, “why in the world would you quit football for medicine.”


Sent from my iPad using SDN mobile

he should.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

the laziest way is the most efficient way though

The most efficient people are often the laziest.

 

[getdown]

10/10 relate to the "rich doctor husband" thing. My mom has literally said, "So, you're going to medical school to find a husband right?" Yes mom. I'm definitely planning on being 200+ thousand dollars in debt for the sole purpose to find a husband. That's my top priority

that's low key my option C if none of this works out. If you can't beat em--marry them ...I'd still be an "MD"---"Married to Doctor"

okay I'll stop.

The funny thing is most women once they're in residency and married/have kids the last thing they want to do is practice medicine. Most are gunning for the "mommy track" jobs that lets them work part time so they can take care of the kids.

 

[actioncat]

The funny thing is most women once they're in residency and married/have kids the last thing they want to do is practice medicine. Most are gunning for the "mommy track" jobs that lets them work part time so they can take care of the kids.

I suppose it makes sense for women that know they want kids. Earliest a traditional route can graduate med school is what, 24/25? So a couple years in is "prime time" to have kids. I think the mind set (as a woman) you really have to have going through all of this is that you either a) don't want kids at all b) are comfortable not being around much if you do or c) have to wait until your mid 30s to have kids

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

I suppose it makes sense for women that know they want kids. Earliest a traditional route can graduate med school is what, 24/25? So a couple years in is "prime time" to have kids. I think the mind set (as a woman) you really have to have going through all of this is that you either a) don't want kids at all b) are comfortable not being around much if you do or c) have to wait until your mid 30s to have kids

Having kids in your 20s is overrated. I’m so glad I waited until I was in my thirties, and so is my wife.

 

[Robin-jay]

Here are some family/relative/friend favorites:

1.) When are you actually going to start your life?

2.)Why would you waste so much time and money for a career you can earn the same amount as "insert any career here"?

3.) Have you considered "insert alternative healthcare career here"?

4.) I don't think its that hard to become a physician because I know "insert doctor here" who is terrible, and they made it.

 

[CloverBale]

Here are some family/relative/friend favorites:

1.) When are you actually going to start your life?

2.)Why would you waste so much time and money for a career you can earn the same amount as "insert any career here"?

3.) Have you considered "insert alternative healthcare career here"?

4.) I don't think its that hard to become a physician because I know "insert doctor here" who is terrible, and they made it.

Wow do we have the same family or? Haha

 

[Robin-jay]

Wow do we have the same family or? Haha

Haha if we do, then we better start a sitcom asap.

 

[eljefemdfuturo]

My favorite is when a relative says "Have fun spending your youth in the library!" and my only response is

 

[IWillMakeIt1]

I got accepted and I have not told my parents yet. During dinner, mom goes like "why do you have to go to medical school?" My sister " You know doctors kill people right? and they dont give a crap about anything other than getting paid"

Then... My supervisor during one of our meetings " You know X, she had to apply twice to get in. If you dont get in this cycle, are you going to stay with us?"

 

[actioncat]

Today:
Dad: Aren't you getting a B in Spanish? How do you ever think you're going to get into medical school?

 

[DokterMom]

The funny thing is most women once they're in residency and married/have kids the last thing they want to do is practice medicine. Most are gunning for the "mommy track" jobs that lets them work part time so they can take care of the kids.

Stereotype much?

 

[pewpew95]

The most efficient people are often the laziest.

What if I'm both lazy and inefficient?

 

[DJ Khaled's Pet Tiger]

My dad offered to pay me a hundred dollars if I made a B instead of an A in high school and college... he wanted me to focus on sports

 

[DJ Khaled's Pet Tiger]

How would you go about telling parents--who have no idea what the process is like--that even though you have good grades, ECs, e.t.c that you didn't get into medical school? My parents didn't even go to college, so to them, this process is completely foreign. They know plenty of doctors so it's weird that their daughter wouldn't get into medical school. I'm just not ready to break the news to them and see their disappointed and confused faces.

Tell them you did get in and just don’t go home next year.

Seriously though, see if your pre Med advisor has any info on this. They might be able to help.

 

[ChymeofPassion]

Eternally grateful for my comparatively normal and supportive parents after reading this thread

 

[PreMedMissteps]

How would you go about telling parents--who have no idea what the process is like--that even though you have good grades, ECs, e.t.c that you didn't get into medical school? My parents didn't even go to college, so to them, this process is completely foreign. They know plenty of doctors so it's weird that their daughter wouldn't get into medical school. I'm just not ready to break the news to them and see their disappointed and confused faces.

Aren't you married to a doctor? If so, can your spouse help explain? Did you get into any DO schools?

 

[narla_hotep]

Wow, this thread makes me grateful for my parents... Honestly, I think my mom has started respecting me a lot more as a person since I got into med school. Though my family might be a bit too much in the other direction, because when a few years ago I said I wanted to go into biomedical research they kept trying to convince me to be a doctor instead. So I said "por que no los dos?" (Not that my family dragged me kicking and screaming into it. My first career choice as a kid was medicine, and I've still been low key interested in it the whole time.)

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Seriously though, see if your pre Med advisor has any info on this. They might be able to help.

Given how “helpful” they are with other matters, I doubt it.

 

[The Physician Philosopher]

Don't feel too badly.... sometimes we parents do need to be put in our place.

That's one of the most important parts about parenting. Making sure your kids see you screw up, apologize, and do right. Very little is more important than forgiveness and grace. Showing your kids that you need it, too, is critical to parenting.

 

[ekmf27050]

Not that this compares to some of the others, and she didn't mean it maliciously, but my mom asked if I was "sure that I wanted to spend the time" interviewing at Duke...

I tried to explain why I had already scheduled and booked flights within 30 mins of the invite, but she didn't quite understand

 

[EmilKraepelin55]

Sounds like I got the long end of the stick. I've had a lot of crazy ambitious ideas in my life, which included becoming a rockstar. From 18-23 I pursued this goal with full support both emotionally and financially from my parents, leading me to receive a degree in Bass Performance. Then, I found an itch to go into medicine which turned into a personal calling. Both my parents were actually hesitant at first because they both worked in the medical field, but began truly supporting this goal once I started making good grades in the sciences, researching in biology, and faithfully volunteering weekly at the hospital. Now I am matriculating next fall.
Truly, I can't believe how amazing my parents have been. I'm so grateful to the them for all of their help over years. There have been a few detractors over the years outside of my family, but I have been fortunate enough for it to be fairly minor in comparison to some of you. Y'all keep fighting that good fight to enter the medical field now! What you are doing IS significant. It REALLY matters! We are the future of healthcare people. So let's forge ahead and do our best to make it a bright one, no matter what people say.

 

[HomeSkool]

When my wife and I were engaged (got married in undergrad)...

My wife's grandpa: "He's gonna be a doctor, huh? Well, he's just gonna dump you for the first cute young blonde thing to come along."

My wife: "Grandpa, I am the first cute young blonde thing to come along."

 

[HomeSkool]

I'm gonna expand this a little past the med school applications thing momentarily...

At least twice a week, I'll be doing a preop on a patient and their family member will hold out their own arm and say, "You've got the good stuff, huh? You can give me some of that, too!"

OMG IT'S MY FAVORITE JOKE LOLZ IT DOESN'T EVER GET OLD

My typical response is, "No thanks, I like being a doctor."