Medical Fearful of the MCAT - How do I get started?

[Goro]

A little background:

I am a non-traditional student. I graduated with my bachelors in Biochemistry & Molecular Biology last year at the age of 25. I started out doing CS, I was not very good at it.
I had the opportunity to transfer colleges (within the same state college system), which had a much better CS program, but I couldn't get into the program, so I was an undeclared major for my first year there. After this first year I had to take an academic school year off to take care of my mother who had been recently diagnosed with terminal cancer.

After her passing the following year, I re-entered academia and established myself as a Biology Major, after my second semester, I transferred my major again into Biochemistry & Molecular Biology until I graduated. In between summers I focused on my lab internship (same place for 3 summers), and was awarded with 2 publications. I participated in research on campus and also TA'd for basic lab courses, as well as running a Biology related activities club being the VP.

I since re-entering academia I never got below a 3.8 GPA, I was able to raise my GPA from a 3.21 to a 3.77.

Now that I have graduated college for 1 year, I still have not come to terms with facing with studying and taking the MCAT.
I have all the books, tons of materials, pdfs, videos, websites, etc. But I just can't face myself to study. I'm particularly scared since my background is quite weak compared to my friends and peers, who are mostly 3-4 years younger than me, they all took AP classes in highschool, which I did not, in fact I was a terrible student almost borderline drop out.

I know this is something I can do because I was able to do so well in my major, but I'm really bad when it comes to standardized testing I scored poorly on the SATs 1400 (out of 2400), but I do not know where to start. Both of my very good friends have taken the exam almost a year ago, and one is in the process of applying this cycle.

Currently I started working again 40 hrs/week doing clinical research which involves some patient interaction/experience (something I lacked hinted by my pre-med advisors).

I think I have commitment issues and am overall not sure how to tackle studying and working at the same time. I know I can do it but I feel like I am lacking the motivation I once had when I was in college now that I am truly on my own as an independent person.

I would appreciate any advice with how I should commit to studying for the MCAT.

Thanks.
L

Contact your school's student Support Services and ask about help with your performance anxiety issues.

This is not giving medical advice!

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[TheBoneDoctah]

I sometimes have this issue as well as not being able to start something. Once you start studying and get a schedule down, things will come much easier. Sit down, write out a schedule, and stick to it. Your academic record shows that you can succeed.

 

[tantacles]

My suggestion is that you book a date. That will force you to actually set a timeline.

If you can not self-study, I would, if you can afford it, do an MCAT course or have a strict tutoring schedule so that someone helps keep you accountable.

And most of all, remember that you can apply to medical school at any time, and if you do not apply, you are not a failure. You simply chose a different path.