Feeling a bit depressed. In need of some motivation

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[dentalprodigy]

I feel you ...I think joining clubs (pre dental, video games, chess, psychology or whatever your interest) is a good start in establishing a healthy social life.

I suggest you try to go on school trips, or events like presentations from distinguished authors, local comedian presenting on campus , concerts,ski trips,, our school offers discount tickets to the aquarium/six flags....try to get one of your existing buddies and go with them.its important to socialize outside of the school setting as these social experiences trend to be more meaningful imo.

Also consider getting a job on campus (work study?), or a someplace near campus....you are bound to make New friends there aswell.

In the end you just have to put your guard down and try to get out of your comfort zone. Its not easy and I by no means and an expert at it. I struggled too in the beginning of my freshman year. I just went to class and then straight home.

As a last resort I would reluctantly suggest joining a fraternity/sorority.personally I don't believe in them. But some people benefit positively from having a sense of belonging to a certain social group and feel "accepted", and "part of the group"

Good luck!

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[omnipoDent]

I am a CC student who recently transferred to a state university this spring. So far the transition has been pretty big, both academically and socially. I am actually living off-campus in a 3 bedroom house. I got my own bedroom but the other two bedroom are filled with the owner as well as another student. I am actually doing OK academically so far but socially I feel really lacking. It is very very tough to make friends here(i have only made like 4-5 in a month, and all of them live on campus so I dont even hang out with them very much). Sometimes I don't even feel like I want to pursue my dream of becoming a dentist anymore. Should I try joining clubs or something? I am afraid this will interfere with my studies

Do you guys have any advice? should I think about living on campus? I don't want to make my parents pay more(they're paying 425/month for my current place and living on campus will cost a lot more maybe around 8-9k/year) But I am helping them a bit with the scholarship that I got).

How do you guys deal with this feeling?

sigh...

Hey, I'm sure we all felt isolated at one point or another during our studies. I was in a fraternity, which really helped. I would not suggest going through the pledge process. One thing that was helpful was the IM sports. At major schools they have IM sports for every season. We had a team for our fraternity, but they also have non greek IM sports. It's a great way to go out and release some stress, while also getting to meet some new people. Something like being on a coed IM kickball team can actually be not too time consuming, but is a good break and a nice way to meet people. I see your Rutgers picture under your name. It's a large school, so I bet they would have something like that there.

You also need to remember that a lot of people you meet in undergrad are not needing to do as well as you and will not share your drive to succeed in the classroom. Trust me, I ran into this a lot in my fraternity. Ha, for instance, I could not take part in an all day beer pong tournament on a Tuesday. It's just different paths that people are taking. The path that you're wanting to take to become a dentist is more difficult. Everyone gets frustrated with it at some point or another, but just remember what got you started and wanting to do it in the first place.

On a lighter note, a friend of mine sent me this link on facebook during the past fall.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYm5A45-mb8

Ha, this thing is real, but he did it as a joke when I was getting frustrated and worried that I wouldn't get in this cycle. It definitely made me laugh, so I hope it does for you as well. It was only October, but I was sure I wouldn't get in anywhere. I got 10 interview offers and got into my top choice, so I was obviously wrong. Just remember to try to stay positive. Best of luck.

 

[Sublimazing]

absolutely join clubs...not only for the social aspect but you need solid extra curriculars to get into d school. I'm surprised no one has mentioned this to you. I would find the pre-health advisor and ask what clubs would help you.

Perk up, college is the best time of your life!

 

[euphaire]

It's okay if you feel you don't have time for clubs. I felt the same way at some point.
I'd suggest grabbing some smart/hard-working people in your class and organize a study group/join an existing one for problem sets, before exams, etc. That's how I made most of my friends in senior year, and did well in my classes. Two birds one stone? 🙂

 

[UltimateHombre]

Clubs, intramural sports, and getting a job are all good ways to meet people.

Also, there are usually like friday/saturday night activities on campus like movie nights, game nights, bowling, pool tournaments, etc.

Chin up man!!!

 

[dentalbro2016]

Join a club - your academics will not suffer. Certain clubs can be small time commitments (1 or 2hrs/week), while others can be very time consuming (10hrs/week in a fraternity). However, the best part about joining a club is the fact that you get the opportunity to join something you WANT to be a part of, and something you can be passionate about! I was always confused why some people would join 10 different clubs spreading themselves thin and not actually having a meaningful impact on their organizations - I think most were joining to boost their resume. Join one or two clubs where you can have an impact on; not only will you find "new friends," but the experience and knowledge gained by impacting your organization is truly priceless (and something that can help you through your dental school application and throughout life).

But honestly, join some type of club and devote yourself to it. If you can't fit 2 hours a week in your schedule then you'll be hard pressed to succeed with your busy schedule in dental school.

 

[e00z]

Join a fraternity (srs)

 

[Oonjuk]

OP: From your profile pic, I am guessing you are at same school as I am. If you are interested in martial arts, please check out the Judo Club or BJJ Club. If you want, I could PM you the student organizations page link.

 

[timwatley]

I would live on campus if possible. That's my biggest regret. More expensive but the quality of life is worth it. I went through a similar phase in college as well.

 

[dentistmom]

I'm right there with you, but for a different reason! I'm old enough to (technically) be the mother of the other students at my school, so it's taken me a while to get to the point where people are friendly to me. I think they were afraid at first that I might hear them swearing and give them a lecture or something! Of course, I have a family to go home to, so I'm not looking to develop a huge social life at school, but I do want to talk to people between classes and set up study groups, stuff like that. What has saved me is the natural camaraderie that seems to develop among the students in those tough science courses. I asked people how they work out a physics problem, or how a reaction mechanism works, and pretty soon they saw that I'm friendly and a good resource, too.

If I can find a way to fit in, I know you can!

 

[Tootyfruity]

wait um wait

so you're quitting dentistry

'cause you ONLY have made 5 friends in the eternity that is 1 month

some science kids barely have 5 friends during all of undergrad

 

[mike ashley]

So, you spent an entire summer saying you were going to give up dentistry because of community college, and now you're considering giving up on dentistry because you've only made 5 friends?

I think it's time for you to grow a pair and stop whining.

 

[iralex801]

Join a fraternity. I would suggest it if you are a transfer. Unless you are here freshman year, it will be hard to make friends b/c everyone has got their boys already.

 

[frd88]

I am a CC student who recently transferred to a state university this spring. So far the transition has been pretty big, both academically and socially. I am actually living off-campus in a 3 bedroom house. I got my own bedroom but the other two bedroom are filled with the owner as well as another student. I am actually doing OK academically so far but socially I feel really lacking. It is very very tough to make friends here(i have only made like 4-5 in a month, and all of them live on campus so I dont even hang out with them very much). Sometimes I don't even feel like I want to pursue my dream of becoming a dentist anymore. Should I try joining clubs or something? I am afraid this will interfere with my studies

Do you guys have any advice? should I think about living on campus? I don't want to make my parents pay more(they're paying 425/month for my current place and living on campus will cost a lot more maybe around 8-9k/year) But I am helping them a bit with the scholarship that I got).

How do you guys deal with this feeling?

sigh...

Try to put your focus on other things besides how many friends you have. I've been living at my parents and working every friday, saturday and sunday night to get by at school for the past 4 years. I've done it by focusing on other things besides getting upset about not having a social life. Put that energy into school work, real work, exercise, etc., and always keep your goals in mind. Once I accepted that in order for me to get to where I wanted to, my social life needed to be put on hold, I became much less depressed and stressed out about it. Ironically, once you do this, more friendships start to develop out of the blue. At least that's how it worked for me. Don't give up on becoming a dentist. The two or three years you have ahead of you may seem like eternity, but it is such a small amount of time. Seriously, don't give up on that. It may be tempting because you think you don't have a life because of all of the studying, but just keep the big picture in mind. You have the chance to have a great career, where you love what you do, are respected, have ridiculous job security, and make a very good income. I look at people close to me who "just enjoyed life" in college, and those who really dug deep and worked hard. Those who "just enjoyed life" in college are friggin miserable now working their butt's off to pay their bills and worrying about getting fired all the time. Those who sacrificed in school and stuck with their dreams are going on awesome vacations, live in beautiful houses and are much happier now.

 

[invictusx]

You have to maintain a balance. A vast majority of my school dorm and live off campus because I go to quite a luxurious school. However, I commute. Takes me 1.25~1.5 hours to get to school EVERY DAY but I also maintain my own social life and activities. You gotta open your mind up to clubs and organizations and sacrifice some time to do invest in your social network instead of your books. Networking is so important because you get so many resources from them, I know I do. In fact, most of my friends are residents at my college; rarely do I have commuter friends.