I am not a wife but I am the husband of a wonderful woman who has been behind me since wanting to go to medical school, going through medical school, and now in residency with 4 kids.
There are many questions regarding health insurance and other financial related issues that come associated with having one spouse in medical school and the other spouse working or staying at home taking care of the children.
My wife works from home as an editor and when I first started medical school we had 3 kids. I was covered by the school's insurance but it would have been too expensive for the rest of the family. We did buy health insurance but the cheapest was 900 per month and it was hurting us. I did some research and found out that my loans were not used to calculate cost of living and income with a family. As a result, we were able to qualify for Medicaid. Now at first, my wife was a little put off by the idea but in the end, it was only for 3 years and we were able to save about $25,000. In addition, when she became pregnant with our now 2 year old (when I was a 3rd year) we received WIC which decreased our monthly food bill. We also applied for assistance for our electric bill and saved another $5000 overall as well as getting a new refrigerator that was energy efficient.
The programs are there for people who need it on a temporary basis and if you have been working all of these years, you have been paying into the system then why not use it? Remember there is nothing to be ashamed of because there is an end to the assistance when residency starts and you are covered by your spouse's insurance.
Use craigslist or ebay for things that you do not need as new. Patio furniture, tables, lamps. Sell things on ebay. If your mortgage is NOT underwater (very lucky for you in this economy) then make sure that you refinance before medical school starts. Check the malls for mommy and me play time which are usually free. No need to buy books, the public library has them for free. There are also many programs for kids at the library that are free as well.
It will take creativity but it is only temporary. You will have to have your own life outside of your spouse's. It is important that you get hobbies as well. Keep in touch with family and friends. And set up time with your spouse. My wife insisted that I come home for dinner every night. It was family time. The TV was turned off, the radio was put on at a low volume and we talked about our day. They I went to study at the library. On the weekends, I put the books away and had family time. Several of my classmates agreed to babysit so my wife and I could go out. Unfortunately, you may need to schedule some time for romance and while spontaneity is great sometimes, when the mind is all about books, that scheduled break is a real tension releaser.
Regarding day care, after speaking to financial aid and showing them that it was needed for my wife to complete her work, they added the monthly amount to my cost of attendance allowing me to use my loan money to pay for day care. The schools expect that the spouse works because they will only support the student and not the family. However, if there is a need, they will work with you. Usually a local babysitter that takes cash is cheaper than the companies. But you will not likely be able to declare that on your taxes.
I am sure if you have any more questions, my wife would be able to answer them. I graduated recently in 2011. Things are tough but progressing. Good luck. I hope this helps. In June of 2013, the National Society for NonTraditional Pre Medical and Medical students has their annual conference in Washington DC, if there is a demand, I am sure they can have a spouse forum as one of the topics.
www.oldpremeds.com
