Oct 17, 2020
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Recently my boyfriend accepted a job 4 hours away from where I'm going to medical school so it looks like we will be doing some long distancing. We plan on getting married- we've been together since college and have known each other since elementary school, but his career choice (an engineer) has put some constraints on where we will be able to live, especially early in his career. While I would love to stay in the city I am currently going to school in for residency and we both have deep personal ties to the area in the Midwest where I am currently going to school, it is not an optimal place for my significant other to get a job. There are a few cities in the Midwest where he might be able to get a job, but his prospects would be better in places like the West Coast, Texas, and Boston. I have no connections (personal or academic) to any of the major cities he would be able to get a job in, even in the Midwest. I do not know how I can explain to a program in a place I have no connections to why I want to leave the place I have called home for basically my entire life when my only significantly compelling reason will be I need to be in an area my significant other, likely spouse by then, can get a job. I definitely want to do IM- not sure about whether I want to do a fellowship yet because I do love primary care. Are IM residencies geographically biased- ie do they generally only look at people with ties to the area? Is there a way to stand out without significant connections to residencies outside the midwest area? I am fine with moving away from where I currently am to be with my significant other. I have been a midwesterner all my life and would welcome a change of scenery as well so moving somewhere unfamiliar would not feel like a sacrifice on my part.
 

Dr G Oogle

2+ Year Member
Mar 8, 2017
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Plenty of people move to places for residency with no personal connection just to go to that residency. Having an SO who has a job where you are applying is a far more compelling than many other reasons i here, and yes there is a bias and in your case it would work in your favor.

on the other, more equitable view point, unless Your SO plans on working on a promising startup With stock options and HUGE financial gains your earning potential is much higher than his. So unless the above is true I’d have a serious conversation about who’s career should be prioritized.
 
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FalconSlice

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Feb 23, 2012
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Recently my boyfriend accepted a job 4 hours away from where I'm going to medical school so it looks like we will be doing some long distancing. We plan on getting married- we've been together since college and have known each other since elementary school, but his career choice (an engineer) has put some constraints on where we will be able to live, especially early in his career. While I would love to stay in the city I am currently going to school in for residency and we both have deep personal ties to the area in the Midwest where I am currently going to school, it is not an optimal place for my significant other to get a job. There are a few cities in the Midwest where he might be able to get a job, but his prospects would be better in places like the West Coast, Texas, and Boston. I have no connections (personal or academic) to any of the major cities he would be able to get a job in, even in the Midwest. I do not know how I can explain to a program in a place I have no connections to why I want to leave the place I have called home for basically my entire life when my only significantly compelling reason will be I need to be in an area my significant other, likely spouse by then, can get a job. I definitely want to do IM- not sure about whether I want to do a fellowship yet because I do love primary care. Are IM residencies geographically biased- ie do they generally only look at people with ties to the area? Is there a way to stand out without significant connections to residencies outside the midwest area? I am fine with moving away from where I currently am to be with my significant other. I have been a midwesterner all my life and would welcome a change of scenery as well so moving somewhere unfamiliar would not feel like a sacrifice on my part.
I must also ask what year you are? If you are a first year, be warned that A LOT of things will change for you in the next 4 years. You might hate IM and want to go into neurosurgery (extreme, but possible), you and your boyfriend might breakup (not a value judgement but boyfriend is not the same thing as fiance which is not the same thing as husband. But then again...), etc. So, my advice is to cross the bridge when you come to it.

Also, 4 hours away is not long-distance IMO? Now, if you're in Michigan and he's in Maryland, that's a different story.
 
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Oct 17, 2020
2
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  1. Medical Student
Plenty of people move to places for residency with no personal connection just to go to that residency. Having an SO who has a job where you are applying is a far more compelling than many other reasons i here, and yes there is a bias and in your case it would work in your favor.

on the other, more equitable view point, unless Your SO plans on working on a promising startup With stock options and HUGE financial gains your earning potential is much higher than his. So unless the above is true I’d have a serious conversation about who’s career should be prioritized.
Thank you! Makes me feel a lot better that this is doable. The current plan is to keep this job until I match and by then he should have enough experience that will open up a lot more jobs in his field. We're open to anywhere, but it will have to be a place with some jobs for him- even if it means a pay cut- as opposed to none...
 

ciestar

All grown up!
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Sep 18, 2013
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Geography restrictions are a very real thing. I was geographically restricted as well. I got lucky and I went to med school and matched at a program in the city his job is located in.

You don’t have to have ties. I was told at one point by a PD that it is okay to communicate your “why” as far as their program is concerned to them.
 
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georgia_boy1

5+ Year Member
Feb 27, 2014
1,077
522
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Is it important to do an away if you're trying to match at a top 20 program that's across the country? Given you're within matriculant averages for scores?
 

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