Give me your honest opinion...

[medskoolmathguy]

Hello everybody,

Please give me your honest opinion about my situation:

I am 28 years old, married for 4 years, have a daughter that will turn 2 in March, a pretty stable job that pays about $55K/yr in the accounting field in the public sector here in SoCal, prospects of moving up, a homeowner, and a lot of hobbies.

Why do I have this small burning sensation that I should leave this fairly stable life I have and pursue the madness of being a doctor??

I received my BS in math in 2005, and attempted a master’s program in math shortly after in which I didn’t end up doing well.

I don’t know what it is, maybe the idea of the ultimate challenge, or of doing something in my life that is worthwhile, a job where I can directly see the fruits of my labor on a daily basis.

I haven’t taken an prereqs and have no volunteer experience. Its just a strong feeling that I have that I know is going to stay with me for a while unless I either go to grad school in math or physics or attempt med school. However, I feel that grad school in math or physics is going to still leave that empty feeling in me that helping others as a doctor would satisfy.

I mean, that is the meaning of life right???- to help and serve others. What better profession to do this in than to be a doctor.

After I saw the movie “City of Joy” with Patrick Swayze not too long ago, I honestly saw myself doing something like this- going to Calcutta or another 3rd world nation and bringing my services and desires to help others as a doctor.

My bro-in-law is finishing up med school this year, so I see him as another example for me to give it a shot. We graduated the same year from high school and yet he is done with med school- I am still at a public sector job that although is stable, is not challenging!


Please help! I am at a crossroads in my life where I am approaching 30 and still feel that I am not passionate about my career. I don't want anymore time to go by and me not deciding what I want to ULTIMATELY do with my career.

I also feel that I owe it to my beautiful daughter. I want her to know that her daddy is a doctor!, and became one despite numerous obstacles…

Thank you all in advance for reading my jibberish!

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[EdLongshanks]

Hello everybody,

Please give me your honest opinion about my situation:

I am 28 years old, married for 4 years, have a daughter that will turn 2 in March, a pretty stable job that pays about $55K/yr in the accounting field in the public sector here in SoCal, prospects of moving up, a homeowner, and a lot of hobbies.

Why do I have this small burning sensation that I should leave this fairly stable life I have and pursue the madness of being a doctor??

Have you really not done any volunteer work before now? You've not taught Sunday School, or picked up litter with the local Kiwanis. You don't belong to the Lions and helped them put on the flip pancakes to raise money for the blind.

If you're really 28 and haven't done any of this, ever, then I'm not sure that your desires for the emotional rewards of altruism are more than a passing phase.

 

[NTF]

After I saw the movie "City of Joy" with Patrick Swayze not too long ago, I honestly saw myself doing something like this- going to Calcutta or another 3rd world nation and bringing my services and desires to help others as a doctor.

I gotta say that your post kind of sends out a lot of alarm bells to me.

1)Inspired by fictional representations
2)Claim a desire to "help people" and haven't volunteered.
3)Saying you owe it to someone else to be a doctor.

Seriously. Get out there. Volunteer. Shadow. Study. Find out for yourself if this is what you want. Cuz none of us can tell you anything useful when you haven't done a thing except watch a movie and just happen to have a brother-in-law in med school.

 

[medskoolmathguy]

If you're really 28 and haven't done any of this, ever, then I'm not sure that your desires for the emotional rewards of altruism are more than a passing phase.

I actually volunteer extensively, and have in the past as well. Organized soup kitchens every month in downtown los angeles, church lector, church organizer, and I plan on volunteering at Children's Hospital soon since this is an area of medicine I am most interested in.

What I was trying to say is that I haven't done any clinic/medical-related volunteering, say at a clinic or hospital...

 

[medskoolmathguy]

I gotta say that your post kind of sends out a lot of alarm bells to me.

1)Inspired by fictional representations
2)Claim a desire to "help people" and haven't volunteered.
3)Saying you owe it to someone else to be a doctor.

Seriously. Get out there. Volunteer. Shadow. Study. Find out for yourself if this is what you want. Cuz none of us can tell you anything useful when you haven't done a thing except watch a movie and just happen to have a brother-in-law in med school.

Like I said in the earlier post, I plan on volunteering 5 hours a week at CHi
Children’s Hospital in Los Angeles in about a month. I have volunteered in many ways in the past and that is why I am saying that helping people has brought me the most satisfaction to my life.

I just feel that being a doctor is the ultimate way to serve others. This is the main reason I would like to pursue the medical field

 

[NTF]

Children’s Hospital in Los Angeles in about a month. I have volunteered in many ways in the past and that is why I am saying that helping people has brought me the most satisfaction to my life.

I think that's an excellent place to start. I highly recommend shadowing healthcare providers of all stripes (RN, NP, PA, MD, LISW, etc).

I just feel that being a doctor is the ultimate way to serve others. This is the main reason I would like to pursue the medical field

Although that's the way you might feel, it's really the kind of sentiment that makes adcoms, med students, and physicians cringe. Medicine is not the ULTIMATE way to help people. You can help people in almost any field. Unless you demonstrate how your passion SPECIFICALLY intersects the actual practice of medicine vague general statements like this about helping or serving others will only raise eyebrows and roll eyes.

In many ways I think it's a testament to how early you are in the process. You like the idea of medicine but you don't really know much about it yet. Just get as much exposure as you can. Learn exactly what it is physicians do day to day (not just the idealized stuff, but the nitty-gritty mundane things too).

As far as whether deciding on medicine as career later in life is crazy or impossible, it's neither. It's just a matter of really understanding what you're getting into and if it's what you want.

 

[fizzgig]

i understand wanting to not let any more time go by before you figure out what you really want to do. it's tough to even focus with that underlying feeling, so definitely continue to volunteer, shadow, really think about the service aspect (not the oh i love seeing the smiles on childrens' faces, but the getting spat on and cursed at and told you're an idiot by the people you're trying to help) and the work aspect (the boring and repetitive parts of the work, the parts of the system you'll get super frustrated with like dealing with politics of others or the insurance company's limitations, etc). i don't mean train yourself to hate it but try to really consider that negative stuff, because it won't be able to deter you if you really want it (disclaimer, this is what *I* feel that I am finding, but I am several years from even applying so my outlook could be as skewed as the next... read people's responses who already applied and got in and have been there!).

that said, i found it worth pointing out that you say you want to go EITHER to grad school in math/physics or med school. these are entirely different animals. i'm in grad school in a medically related field and it's still an entirely different animal. if you have the urge to 'do something more, go farther' etc, then that needs to be clarified. why would you want to do one or the other, what are the considerations, do you know what they really do, etc... anyway that is something that is worth figuring out i'd say.

a second thing to consider is that while going to some country and giving medical care to the super needy is wonderful, you have a very young kid, who won't be grown by the time you finish schooling. you can do that kind of work at some point, or for short stints, but you need to consider what you think about being a typical doc, at a typical clinic/hospital/etc, because realistically that is what you're going to need to do i'd assume.

a third thing as others pointed out is that, again, you seem to be looking to go higher and do more in a generalized sense vs really wanting medicine based on your looking at someone else who is close to you who is doing medicine, and based on your perception of it as a noble career (gonna do noble stuff like in a movie, my daughter will be proud). my dad's not a doctor and i love him and respect him and look up to him! watch your motives and clear them up with yourself.

i'm not saying it's not ok, and even great, to look for a career that you're really passionate about. it's what i'm doing too right now. but definitely continue your path of slowly (it will take TIME) getting all the plans and practicalities in order, shadow, volunteer, get your prereqs, to get as good of a picture as you can as to what you're getting into and WHY. fwiw your broinlaw could be a great source. stop looking at him as a comparison (you have different life experiences!) but talk to him about the process, the sacrifice, the application process, what he loves about it and what he hates about it. he can give you some great honest perspective (as can lots of SDN of course too).

keep digging and good luck!

 

[riverjib]

Why do I have this small burning sensation that I should leave this fairly stable life I have and pursue the madness of being a doctor??

I don't know. You need to answer this yourself. WHY do you want to be a doctor? Don't quote any movies or allude to the respect your child will have for you someday. Just talk about why medicine really means something to you.

 

[vanslix]

Have you really not done any volunteer work before now? You've not taught Sunday School, or picked up litter with the local Kiwanis. You don't belong to the Lions and helped them put on the flip pancakes to raise money for the blind.

If you're really 28 and haven't done any of this, ever, then I'm not sure that your desires for the emotional rewards of altruism are more than a passing phase.

I'm 34 with wife and kid and in my first year. I hadn't done much volunteer work at all but TONS of research. I gave up a much higher salary but I don't regret it at all. An MD gives lots of options and not all of it involves volunteer types of stuff.

 

[EdLongshanks]

I'm 34 with wife and kid and in my first year. I hadn't done much volunteer work at all but TONS of research. I gave up a much higher salary but I don't regret it at all. An MD gives lots of options and not all of it involves volunteer types of stuff.

You're the med student, and I'm the pre-med. So our opinions hold different weights. But I would like to see doctors continue to the premier community and volunteer leaders of our culture. I realize that there is a movement away from this and toward medicine as a simple career, but I don't have to like it.

 

[Valvool]

Don't quote any movies or allude to the respect your child will have for you someday.

His motivations for wanting to become a physician are multi-faceted. Wanting to set an example for my daughters, to be a certain kind of mother, played a role in my own motivation to study medicine.

I understand where you are coming from, OP.

 

[sassilysweet]

Honestly, it kind of sounds to me like you are just getting a morbid feeling about being 30 and already having the type of life you will continue to have until you retire....ex: Already married w/ kid(s) and a steady job. You tried that MS but it didn't quite work. There's got to be more to your life than "just this", right?

I could be totally off-base and I apologize if I am. It is just hard to advise people about their "medical career" when they haven't taken any of the classes, worked in health-care, etc.

Math PhD = WAY different than MD/DO.

Like the other posters, if this really is something you want to pursue, start with medical volunteering and shadowing different professionals, including nurses and PAs. The only way to know if you have the drive and are going to like it is to see what it REALLY entails, not what movies/television/other people tell you.

 

[EdLongshanks]

Honestly, it kind of sounds to me like you are just getting a morbid feeling about being 30 and already having the type of life you will continue to have until you retire....ex: Already married w/ kid(s) and a steady job. You tried that MS but it didn't quite work. There's got to be more to your life than "just this", right?

OP, its pretty common for new posters here to get pummeled a little bit. I hope you don't take it too hard. They had to shut my first thread down, they were so busy eviscerating me and devouring my entrails.

I believe I know what rung everyone's bell here. You've expressed the idea that all of us recognize in ourselves and know is not sufficient. SassilySweet here couldn't have expressed it so well if she didn't identify with it, just a little. It's that mid-life crisis thing. I've now reached the summit of my personal Everest and I'm looking for another mountain to climb.

But this is an insufficient motivation. If medical schools let in people who were motivated with only this emotion, then the drop-out rate would be significantly higher - and there are already too few graduates.

As non-traditional students we have got to overcome the perception that we are just having a mid-life crisis. We have to convince our spouses, our friends, our parents, and sometimes, even, our children. Therefore, when you gave us the impression that this was your main motivation we landed on you.

 

[Emerald84]

Although that's the way you might feel, it's really the kind of sentiment that makes adcoms, med students, and physicians cringe. Medicine is not the ULTIMATE way to help people. You can help people in almost any field. Unless you demonstrate how your passion SPECIFICALLY intersects the actual practice of medicine vague general statements like this about helping or serving others will only raise eyebrows and roll eyes.

C'mon! Most of us started out with lofty fuzzy ideals about medicine and then challenged those ideals with long hard hours of work, volunteer work and seeing some of the gruesome realities of patient care- only to still want it.

Give the guy a chance!!!! I think it is fantastic that he has such passion. I have no doubt he will refine his ideas and will be able to articulate them quite well to adcoms.


I do agree with what you say below though.

I think that's an excellent place to start. I highly recommend shadowing healthcare providers of all stripes (RN, NP, PA, MD, LISW, etc).




In many ways I think it's a testament to how early you are in the process. You like the idea of medicine but you don't really know much about it yet. Just get as much exposure as you can. Learn exactly what it is physicians do day to day (not just the idealized stuff, but the nitty-gritty mundane things too).

As far as whether deciding on medicine as career later in life is crazy or impossible, it's neither. It's just a matter of really understanding what you're getting into and if it's what you want.

 

[NTF]

Most of us started out with lofty fuzzy ideals about medicine and then challenged those ideals with long hard hours of work, volunteer work and seeing some of the gruesome realities of patient care- only to still want it.

Give the guy a chance!!!! I think it is fantastic that he has such passion. I have no doubt he will refine his ideas and will be able to articulate them quite well to adcoms.

lol. I don't believe that anywhere in my posts I wasn't giving the guy a chance. In fact I'm imploring him to do what you did: "challenge those ideals with long hard hours of work, volunteer work and seeing some gruesome realities of patient care".

Plus, when you title a thread "Give me your honest opinion..." my assumption is the OP was asking for undiluted advice.

Congrats on your acceptances BTW.

 

[sassilysweet]

I agree that everyone starts with those "lofty ideals" when they start thinking about medicine. I did when I was 17 and starting college, and registered for all the premed classes. You know when I finally figured out how much I really wanted to be a doctor? After I had graduated and worked at a level one trauma center in surgery. I had all the classes, volunteer hours, and leadership experiences anyone could want, but I did not find my passion until I actually worked in health care. Now after being a "premed" for NINE years, I will be starting medical school at age 26.

What I am trying to say is that no matter what you "feel", you won't "know" until you actually start getting involved in the day-to-day of medical life. Quite frankly, you don't see much volunteering. You are going to get a better feel for it while shadowing. The classes are to see if you can handle the concepts, not to test if you want to be a doctor.

One of my best friends had a "quarter life crisis" when she turned 25. She had been trying to get into PA school and hated her job. I don't think I had one; I became very dedicated to the "calling" I had felt but didn't really understand before. I have seen it happen in other people, though, and like I said that was what I felt the OP was talking about without giving more background or details than "I saw this movie and now I want to be a doctor and save all the DABs".

Again, the only advice we can really give is to TRY IT OUT. You won't feel satisfied if you don't at least make the attempt. Don't be too upset if you find it is not for you, though. Even among the "traditional" students it is crazy the percentage that starts out full-on premed and then peter out quite quickly. I would assume it may at least a little similar for nontrads.