Has anyone thought of the long term financial benefits of marrying another doctor?

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CaptainJackSparrow83

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Just a thought,

But my whole life Ive always dated people who intended to stay in the lower income range (below 40 k) A whole foods cashier, an Ulta make up specialist, and a hippie. So when ever I thought future I always thought everything I wanted would be purchased pretty much on my own income. If I wanted a 2 million dollar home I would need to earn above 300 k and pick a higher paying specialty.

I was set up on a blind date this weekend with a girl whos also med student. No I didnt get creepy and start planning our future together but I was like damn, finally a girl who can be independent once her debt is paid off.

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As it turns out income potential is up there on desirable qualities. Right next to step score and calve circumference
 
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Have you considered the long term financial benefits of marrying a Sugar Momma?
 
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Just a thought,

But my whole life Ive always dated people who intended to stay in the lower income range (below 40 k) A whole foods cashier, an Ulta make up specialist, and a hippie. So when ever I thought future I always thought everything I wanted would be purchased pretty much on my own income. If I wanted a 2 million dollar home I would need to earn above 300 k and pick a higher paying specialty.

I was set up on a blind date this weekend with a girl whos also med student. No I didnt get creepy and start planning our future together but I was like damn, finally a girl who can be independent once her debt is paid off.

I've honestly thought about it but you also have to realize there are expenses that come with the dual physician combination as well. For example you'll probably need a full-time nanny when your kids are young (~40k).

Furthermore you'll also lose a relative sense of autonomy, since if you were the bread-winnner, however you wanted to spend your money would most likely be the way it went, but if you have a high-earning spouse then its much more democratic.

Depends on what you value, nice things or autonomy.

As it turns out income potential is up there on desirable qualities. Right next to step score and calve circumference

Dem calves doh.

Have you considered the long term financial benefits of marrying a Sugar Momma?

Where do I find said momma?
 
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Yeah, if you end up on the lucky side of the settlement. Lol, but in all seriousness, you had to have known their income status before you dated them, I mean but hey I could be way out of touch, Hippies could be in the top 1%, and frankly I didn't know hippie was an occupation?

I'm glad that y'all are so open with this, because when I mention the same thing, I get so much sh+t from men, it's ridiculous.... "that shouldn't matter if he's a good man". Does that not hold the same to you, if she's a really great woman? And why are those professions you mentioned not "independent". I know plenty of MUA, who have an apartment, car, pays her own bills. That seems pretty independent to me. Also, have you ever seen NikkieTutorials on YT, she probably makes very close to physicians, if not more than most, just on doing makeup and posting videos..Net worth is $800,000. ON MAKEUP.
 
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I don't get the "losing sense of autonomy" aspect here. We just have a joint account that we each shuffle money into every month to cover joint expenses, and we each have our individual accounts as well. No real loss of autonomy in our individual discretionary spending at all. Yes, for big expenses, we'll talk about things, but it's never impacted anything of import. We're both fairly frugal people though, so that probably helps that we're mostly on the same page for the vast majority of expenditures.
 
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Yeah, if you end up on the lucky side of the settlement. Lol, but in all seriousness, you had to have known their income status before you dated them, I mean but hey I could be way out of touch, Hippies could be in the top 1%, and frankly I didn't know hippie was an occupation?

I'm glad that y'all are so open with this, because when I mention the same thing, I get so much sh+t from men, it's ridiculous.... "that shouldn't matter if he's a good man". Does that not hold the same to you, if she's a really great woman? And why are those professions you mentioned not "independent". I know plenty of MUA, who have an apartment, car, pays her own bills. That seems pretty independent to me. Also, have you ever seen NikkieTutorials on YT, she probably makes very close to physicians, if not more than most, just on doing makeup and posting videos..Net worth is $800,000. ON MAKEUP.

Whats a MUA?

And its not that they're not necessarily independent, but as time goes on and assuming OP wanted to start a family, it would make way more sense for the spouse with the significantly (<20%) smaller income to stay at home and raise the family, or at least work part-time in order to focus more on the young children at home --> Less independence.

Of course you can make money doing anything, but we're talking about averages here.

I don't get the "losing sense of autonomy" aspect here. We just have a joint account that we each shuffle money into every month to cover joint expenses, and we each have our individual accounts as well. No real loss of autonomy in our individual discretionary spending at all. Yes, for big expenses, we'll talk about things, but it's never impacted anything of import. We're both fairly frugal people though, so that probably helps that we're mostly on the same page for the vast majority of expenditures.

Thats nice that you have a frugal spouse, but what if you didn't? If she's making the same amount of money as you but wants to live a lavish lifestyle, difficult to try to get her to stop while you're over there worrying about retirement. Not saying that's necessarily going to happen to OP, but its much easier/more care-free to plan your family's finances if you're the one making the decisions.
 
Thats nice that you have a frugal spouse, but what if you didn't? If she's making the same amount of money as you but wants to live a lavish lifestyle, difficult to try to get her to stop while you're over there worrying about retirement. Not saying that's necessarily going to happen to OP, but its much easier/more care-free to plan your family's finances if you're the one making the decisions.

But, this isn't unique to people in the healthcare/medical professions making >6 figures. This applies to all marriages. Of course, if you're unilaterally making all of the money decisions, it may be great for you. Sounds like a terrible marriage, though.
 
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So, are y'all opposed to stay-at-home dads? If we are talking about the spouse that makes <20% of the income, being if I'm the breadwinner as a physician and he's Idk, a school teacher? And has anybody seen that documentary that Nova had that followed those physicians and 2 of them got divorced because the wives were SAHM, and felt that they weren't "home enough"? So, to piggyback on what @Osteoth said, about being part time or staying home to raise kids, that didn't necessarily work.

I read this study on the most successful physician marriages; let me see if I can find it. Also, I follow a plastic surgeon and she recommended other doctors not marry doctors.


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Sounds like fun.....until she gets a Step 1 in the 220s and is forced into primary care making 130k a year with 400k debt hanging over her head. At this point her self esteem will down hill. She will become a very pessimistic individual you don't want to hang around. People will look down on her and make fun of her. You may also make fun of her. She will be labeled an outcast for failing in medical school. Her insecurities will become apparent in every aspect of life.

...this may or may not explain why I am in no position to date...
 
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But my whole life Ive always dated people who intended to stay in the lower income range (below 40 k) A whole foods cashier, an Ulta make up specialist, and a hippie.

Lol dude you just finished undergrad, these are the types of people that you date in undergrad. No college kid is out there dating established women. I would never marry another doctor just for the financial benefits

Sounds like fun.....until she gets a Step 1 in the 220s and is forced into primary care making 130k a year with 400k debt hanging over her head. At this point her self esteem will down hill. She will become a very pessimistic individual you don't want to hang around. People will look down on her and make fun of her. You may also make fun of her also. She will be labeled an outcast for failing in medical school. Her insecurities will become apparent in every aspect of life.

You are so good.
 
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Sounds like fun.....until she gets a Step 1 in the 220s and is forced into primary care making 130k a year with 400k debt hanging over her head. At this point her self esteem will down hill. She will become a very pessimistic individual you don't want to hang around. People will look down on her and make fun of her. You may also make fun of her. She will be labeled an outcast for failing in medical school. Her insecurities will become apparent in every aspect of life.

...this may or may not explain why I am in no position to date...

Is primary care that low? Its usually close to 200 in california, and in pennsylvania its also usually 200
 
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Guys... the autonomy comes from not blowing my entire salary on a girl who complains about her 20 hour weeks being too stress ful and expects gucci purses, prada shoes, and whole foods in the fridge every day
 
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Sounds like fun.....until she gets a Step 1 in the 220s and is forced into primary care making 130k a year with 400k debt hanging over her head. At this point her self esteem will down hill. She will become a very pessimistic individual you don't want to hang around. People will look down on her and make fun of her. You may also make fun of her. She will be labeled an outcast for failing in medical school. Her insecurities will become apparent in every aspect of life.

...this may or may not explain why I am in no position to date...


You are also a special peanut that I find much entertainment from your woe is me posts lol. Only people failing in medschool are those that don’t finish
 
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Guys... the autonomy comes from not blowing my entire salary on a girl who complains about her 20 hour weeks being too stress ful and expects gucci purses, prada shoes, and whole foods in the fridge every day

Just need to reass the women you are dating if that is their expectations. Sounds a bit... shallow.
 
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Furthermore you'll also lose a relative sense of autonomy, since if you were the bread-winnner, however you wanted to spend your money would most likely be the way it went, but if you have a high-earning spouse then its much more democratic.
No
 
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Who is this guy ?

Who me? Failed’s constant woe is me has become the running joke

Guys... the autonomy comes from not blowing my entire salary on a girl who complains about her 20 hour weeks being too stress ful and expects gucci purses, prada shoes, and whole foods in the fridge every day

Lol, you are dating the wrong women. You’re too high up on the hot crazy matrix
 
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But, this isn't unique to people in the healthcare/medical professions making >6 figures. This applies to all marriages. Of course, if you're unilaterally making all of the money decisions, it may be great for you. Sounds like a terrible marriage, though.

Depends on the accepted division of labor.

So, are y'all opposed to stay-at-home dads? If we are talking about the spouse that makes <20% of the income, being if I'm the breadwinner as a physician and he's Idk, a school teacher? And has anybody seen that documentary that Nova had that followed those physicians and 2 of them got divorced because the wives were SAHM, and felt that they weren't "home enough"? So, to piggyback on what @Osteoth said, about being part time or staying home to raise kids, that didn't necessarily work.

I read this study on the most successful physician marriages; let me see if I can find it. Also, I follow a plastic surgeon and she recommended other doctors not marry doctors.

I have no philosophical qualms about stay at-home dads, but there was a study done out of Chicago Booth that showed when women make more than their husbands "couples are less satisfied with their marriage and are more likely to divorce". Something to think about

Source: https://faculty.chicagobooth.edu/emir.kamenica/documents/identity.pdf

TBH I feel like you run into fewer hassles if you marry someone you like.

Number one cause of divorce outside of infidelity is commonly cited to be financial.


Well thought out and succinct argument friend.
 
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The makeup artist doesn't have a guaranteed income. Someone else could become famous on YouTube and there goes her popularity and money.

As for the two-Doctor thing, I think it has its pluses and minuses. Understanding each other and salary guarantee is nice. Being busy and not having time for kids, not so nice. I think ultimately, the most important thing is what a previous post said, liking each other and wanting to make things work. Your partner's occupation is secondary, particularly if even one of you is a physician… Chances are your family will be fine financially.


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The makeup artist doesn't have a guaranteed income. Someone else could become famous on YouTube and there goes her popularity and money.

As for the two-Doctor thing, I think it has its pluses and minuses. Understanding each other and salary guarantee is nice. Being busy and not having time for kids, not so nice. I think ultimately, the most important thing is what a previous post said, liking each other and wanting to make things work. Your partner's occupation is secondary, particularly if even one of you is a physician… Chances are your family will be fine financially.


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Well, in my particular citing, she does have guaranteed income, because she has a makeup line and sponsors, and launched a line with Sephora. I can name several artists who have incomes in the upper 500k. So the beauty industry is where it is. Are you male? Because I think that's why you made that statement. It's a new artist every day. But I digress., and see your point. But just thought I'd clarify lol.


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So, are y'all opposed to stay-at-home dads? If we are talking about the spouse that makes <20% of the income, being if I'm the breadwinner as a physician and he's Idk, a school teacher? And has anybody seen that documentary that Nova had that followed those physicians and 2 of them got divorced because the wives were SAHM, and felt that they weren't "home enough"? So, to piggyback on what @Osteoth said, about being part time or staying home to raise kids, that didn't necessarily work.

I read this study on the most successful physician marriages; let me see if I can find it. Also, I follow a plastic surgeon and she recommended other doctors not marry doctors.


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Statistically, however, dual physician marriages have the lowest divorce rate of any physician pairing at only 9%.
 
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I'm female. Even if I were male, my point would still be valid. You don't need to be female to understand these things.
Any Youtube celebrity is, in my eyes, here today, gone tomorrow. Sponsors can leave, stores can drop you for someone else. It's happened to artists many times--nothing like the guaranteed long term salary of a physician. And these select people are rare, whereas nearly every physician makes well over 100K.


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I meant understanding the demand for makeup and the market it creates. You should even more so know that as being a woman, if you choose to dabble in beauty products, and if you don't cool. But nevertheless, she does have a stable income, and if her business fails, (which she now has progressed beyond YT, to a fully functioning business), as could any other business, then so be it. That's my point. This isn't about YouTube "celebrities" my point was in reference to showing that independence and income can come from anywhere.

And if we are speaking on long term income, let's talk about a physician who loses his/her license, then what? Are you saying that every physician should marry a physician just for financial security?


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I'm female. Even if I were male, my point would still be valid. You don't need to be female to understand these things.
Any Youtube celebrity is, in my eyes, here today, gone tomorrow. Sponsors can leave, stores can drop you for someone else. It's happened to artists many times--nothing like the guaranteed long term salary of a physician. And these select people are rare, whereas nearly every physician makes well over 100K.


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OrthoTraumaMD is one of my all-time favorite posters.
 
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Not at all. In fact, I said if at least one spouse is a physician that the family will likely be financially fine. My husband is not a physician. But I would not dismiss another physician salary, and I strongly considered it when I was choosing a mate. Not all incomes are created equal. There are many Wall Street people who make a lot of money, and then lose it all because the market went bad. Financial security is one of the biggest draws of medicine. Losing your license as a physician is very rare, much more rare than having your business fail.
I buy makeup and I see brands come and go. I don't see it as a stable market. Maybe as a whole, yes, but not any individual brand or person. An individual physician, on the other hand, is guaranteed to make a consistent salary for decades, provided they don't commit some kind of egregious crime.


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Good point! Did you ever have any reservations of marrying a non-physician? And with you being in surgery, does that or a strain on your marriage because of hours and income, if you make more than him? I'm curious because I'm interested in surgery.


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Lol dude you just finished undergrad, these are the types of people that you date in undergrad. No college kid is out there dating established women. I would never marry another doctor just for the financial benefit.

You'd be surprised. I had friends (both male and female) in UG and grad school who dated well-established professionals, though most of those relationships didn't last. Most college kids don't because they're wrapped up in the college lifestyle and dating people who are at that stage in their lives. If college students project actual maturity and go to bars/restaurants/whatever where single professionals go, they can land the big fish.
 
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I answer this in my AMA. But generally yes I had reservations, but not because of financial issues. I make well over 500K, so my spouse's contribution does not really matter to me. I was more worried about the cultural implications, as in my culture it is expected for doctors to marry doctors. (Both my parents are physicians) I married outside my culture, to a non-physician who makes much less than I do. It caused problems with family, and still does. But for me, it was the best choice. I initially worried because I was attracted to the surgical personality, which I myself have. But I quickly discovered that being with someone who was just like me did not work out well in terms of the family situation. So I looked for someone who would give me a sense of stability, and would have a domestic streak that I did not have. That is what my husband does. We have a role reversal. He loves to cook, clean, and is very family oriented. I am none of those things (though I can do them, I just prefer work over everything). But I'm so happy to have someone take care of me, and not to have to worry about things when I come home, that I overlook the financial disparity between us. He, in turn, does not resent me for my success, and brags about me every chance he gets. He complements my lifestyle. As for strain, yes we have some, and he does get sad when I leave at random hours when I'm on call, but he understands, and I try to make the best of the (little) time we have together. I think most surgeons, especially those of us who are busy, benefit from this type of symbiotic relationship. Most of the male surgeons I know have wives like this. A tumultuous affair with a fellow surgeon is the stuff of TV shows, and just as hot in real life, but it has no lasting potential because you are way too similar.


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o_O...storytime?
 
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I answer this in my AMA. But generally yes I had reservations, but not because of financial issues. I make well over 500K, so my spouse's contribution does not really matter to me. I was more worried about the cultural implications, as in my culture it is expected for doctors to marry doctors. (Both my parents are physicians) I married outside my culture, to a non-physician who makes much less than I do. It caused problems with family, and still does. But for me, it was the best choice. I initially worried because I was attracted to the surgical personality, which I myself have. But I quickly discovered that being with someone who was just like me did not work out well in terms of the family situation. So I looked for someone who would give me a sense of stability, and would have a domestic streak that I did not have. That is what my husband does. We have a role reversal. He loves to cook, clean, and is very family oriented. I am none of those things (though I can do them, I just prefer work over everything). But I'm so happy to have someone take care of me, and not to have to worry about things when I come home, that I overlook the financial disparity between us. He, in turn, does not resent me for my success, and brags about me every chance he gets. He complements my lifestyle. As for strain, yes we have some, and he does get sad when I leave at random hours when I'm on call, but he understands, and I try to make the best of the (little) time we have together. I think most surgeons, especially those of us who are busy, benefit from this type of symbiotic relationship. Most of the male surgeons I know have wives like this. A tumultuous affair with a fellow surgeon is the stuff of TV shows, and just as hot in real life, but it has no lasting potential because you are way too similar.


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Thank you!! So, so helpful!!! I appreciated hearing this!


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Not at all. In fact, I said if at least one spouse is a physician that the family will likely be financially fine. My husband is not a physician. But I would not dismiss another physician salary, and I strongly considered it when I was choosing a mate. Not all incomes are created equal. There are many Wall Street people who make a lot of money, and then lose it all because the market went bad. Financial security is one of the biggest draws of medicine. Losing your license as a physician is very rare, much more rare than having your business fail.
I buy makeup and I see brands come and go. I don't see it as a stable market. Maybe as a whole, yes, but not any individual brand or person. An individual physician, on the other hand, is guaranteed to make a consistent salary for decades, provided they don't commit some kind of egregious crime.


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are you a sugar momma ;)
 
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Just a thought,

But my whole life Ive always dated people who intended to stay in the lower income range (below 40 k) A whole foods cashier, an Ulta make up specialist, and a hippie. So when ever I thought future I always thought everything I wanted would be purchased pretty much on my own income. If I wanted a 2 million dollar home I would need to earn above 300 k and pick a higher paying specialty.

I was set up on a blind date this weekend with a girl whos also med student. No I didnt get creepy and start planning our future together but I was like damn, finally a girl who can be independent once her debt is paid off.
Financially independent is different from your standards. I was financially independent and supported myself in NYC without a roommate in my early twenties. But I wouldn’t have contributed much to owning a $2M home.
 
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I've thought about this, idly, but right now the plan is as follows:

Complete an EM residency, work my ass off for a year to pay off debt and then start alternating balls-to-the-wall locums months with South American playboy months. Forget the McMansion in some lame suburb, I'll get a luxury penthouse in Rio with a million dollar yacht in the harbor for the bubble-butts. Any time spent in the USA will be on locums assignments so I'll be living out of a hotel anyway, no need for a house or fancy car stateside.

That's about as far as I can see right now and it's a pretty picture :naughty:. Sadly we are all mortal and I concede that at some point I will age out of this lifestyle but those first 10 years post residency are going to be bumpin'. To the OPs point, if I ever do get the urge to settle down and marry it will have to be to a woman who is within the same ballpark as me financially.

The reason for this is purely practical: if I'm making mid six figures and have 7 figures in assets and marry a woman of few means, I'm basically placing everything I've ever worked for at the mercy of that woman and this country's unconscionably rapacious divorce-court industry. Ef that noise, too many sad cases taking the L and toiling away into their twilight years just so that Uncle Samantha can take a third of what they make and the ex-wife half of what's left.
 
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Financially independent is different from your standards. I was financially independent and supported myself in NYC without a roommate in my early twenties. But I wouldn’t have contributed much to owning a $2M home.

Thats impressive! congratulations
 
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I answer this in my AMA. But generally yes I had reservations, but not because of financial issues. I make well over 500K, so my spouse's contribution does not really matter to me. I was more worried about the cultural implications, as in my culture it is expected for doctors to marry doctors. (Both my parents are physicians) I married outside my culture, to a non-physician who makes much less than I do. It caused problems with family, and still does. But for me, it was the best choice. I initially worried because I was attracted to the surgical personality, which I myself have. But I quickly discovered that being with someone who was just like me did not work out well in terms of the family situation. So I looked for someone who would give me a sense of stability, and would have a domestic streak that I did not have. That is what my husband does. We have a role reversal. He loves to cook, clean, and is very family oriented. I am none of those things (though I can do them, I just prefer work over everything). But I'm so happy to have someone take care of me, and not to have to worry about things when I come home, that I overlook the financial disparity between us. He, in turn, does not resent me for my success, and brags about me every chance he gets. He complements my lifestyle. As for strain, yes we have some, and he does get sad when I leave at random hours when I'm on call, but he understands, and I try to make the best of the (little) time we have together. I think most surgeons, especially those of us who are busy, benefit from this type of symbiotic relationship. Most of the male surgeons I know have wives like this. A tumultuous affair with a fellow surgeon is the stuff of TV shows, and just as hot in real life, but it has no lasting potential because you are way too similar.


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On a side note does it ever bug you when that 500+ k gets cut in half because of taxes. When I was younger and built small castles in the sky about cars I would buy or homes when I was a doctor I kept getting reminded to almost half the salary because of taxes. bleh.
 
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On a side note does it ever bug you when that 500+ k gets cut in half because of taxes. When I was younger and built small castles in the sky about cars I would buy or homes when I was a doctor I kept getting reminded to almost half the salary because of taxes. bleh.

It does. I talk about it in my AMA too...but it is what it is, and I love what I do, so I would not do things any differently.


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On a side note does it ever bug you when that 500+ k gets cut in half because of taxes. When I was younger and built small castles in the sky about cars I would buy or homes when I was a doctor I kept getting reminded to almost half the salary because of taxes. bleh.
It does not bother me that we pay nearly 40% of 500K in federal taxes. Taxes pay for vital government services Also if we are being honest doctors benefit from the federal government more than most. No doctor other than a plastic surgeon could make 500K without the government insurance that our taxes pay for.

It does bother me that a 2 doctor household making 500K pays nearly 40% of their combined income in taxes, while two unmarred doctors making 250K each will pay only 25% of their income in Federal taxes. That is unfair and incredibly discriminatory against working women.
 
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It does not bother me that we pay nearly 40% of 500K in federal taxes. Taxes pay for vital government services Also if we are being honest doctors benefit from the federal government more than most. No doctor other than a plastic surgeon could make 500K without the government insurance that our taxes pay for.

It does bother me that a 2 doctor household making 500K pays nearly 40% of their combined income in taxes, while two unmarred doctors making 250K each will pay only 25% of their income in Federal taxes. That is unfair and incredibly discriminatory against working women.

Just a clarification, 250 k only pays 25% of income in federal? Isnt the 33 % tax bracket something like 200-400 K /annum?
 
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Just a clarification, 250 k only pays 25% of income in federal? Isnt the 33 % tax bracket something like 200-400 K /annum?
That means you only pay 33% on the income over 200K. So for the first 6K you pay nothing, and for the next 10K of your income you pay 10% in taxes, and for the next 20 K you pay 15% in taxes... Etc. That's why you don't ever lose money by moving up to a higher tax bracket.

Also, if I take the time to run the numbers, the the purely federal tax rate for a married couple isn't actually 40%>. It's close to 30%. Still way more than if they hadn't gotten married though. Which is stupid.
 
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