Have to repeat OMS I. Gutted and...mortified.

[mwsapphire]

Hi everyone,

I'm an OMS I at a well known DO school . I'm in the position where I will likely have to repeat the year. My school was mostly remote due to COVID, and because of that I struggled a LOT with anatomy last sem. By the time I started passing it was too late for the math to work in my favor. I was going to remediate over the summer. ( By mostly remote I mean 6 hrs weekly of dissection anatomy lab reduced to 2 hrs pro-section lab, no extra lab time w cadaver).

I guess I must have struggled a lot more with anxiety this semester than I thought, bc I failed my current course by 1.5 percentage points ( I know a fail is a fail, and I didn't meet the minimum threshold to pass, but it's just mind blowing that I"m in this position).

I'm waiting for admin to confirm, but I am in all likelihood repeating the year. I'm crushed on so many levels. Humiliated, depressed, can't beleive I have to do it all over again. I was waitlisted before getting in ( app complete late /interviewed late/ accepted late), and it's amazing that just over a year after I got in, I'm finding out that I have to repeat the year. What a contrast a year can bring.

I already told my parents. I'm extremely lucky that I went to an affordable college/ lived at home/ had a scholarship, so I don't have UGrad debt. That ,combined with the fact that I'm super fortunate to have my parents help me with living expenses, the debt factor shouldn't be *too* bad, in the long run. ( My school also charges half tuition/ full fees rather than full tuition/full fees for a repeated year).

How will I tell my friends? I only have 1 pod of friends since that's the setup my school did with COVID, but I can't bear the thought of telling them. Even as I'm looking for roommates for next year ( I lived alone this year bc I couldn't find a good roomie situation) , they may realize as well . Shame shame shame. I feel 14 years old again, with how emotional I am rn.

Any advice? Please help a sad b!tch out.

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[Goro]

Having to repeat a year is not a reflection of your character nor does it define you.

Just tell your friends the truth.

 

[hallowmann]

Agree with Goro, this happens. It's not a measure of who you are. Non-med school friends you don't even necessarily need to tell, because it's not like most people notice with grad school, but med school friends will understand. You'll also make new friends in your new class next year and it'll be fine.

I had multiple friends that either repeated a year or joined our class after repeating the year from a class ahead of us. They all made friends within their "new" classes and many remained friends with those in their original class.

It's a transition, but take the opportunity to do as well as you possibly can with the material next year.

 

[deleted1079620]

I repeated OMS-1. I was devastated when it all went down, and I had some serious doubts about even returning at all. Now that my repeat year is over and I’m heading into 2nd year, I look on it as one of the best things that could have happened to me.

It’ll be ok, OP. Feel free to PM me if you would like to vent to someone who has been there, or discuss what a repeat year was like, or anything.

edited to add: I’m signed up to be a mentor next year (and forever probably) to students who will be repeating. Your school probably has something similar in place, and you may be truly surprised as some of the people you find out were repeaters and were the top of your class, or were tutors a year ahead of you. It’s not uncommon for repeat students to do extremely well during their repeat year.

 

[0ncogene]

First, you got to reflect why they are making you repeat a year. Failing an anatomy class by 1.5% does not put you in a position to repeat a whole year. Likely you were not doing well in your other classes as well. Take your this as a chance to learn the material well, crush COMLEX1 and 2 and match into a good residency. You're going to be a physician for a long time (~30 years), being held back a year is nothing.

Your current medical student friends should understand how hard med school is and be understanding. I am sure you will make new friends. Instead of worrying about what they think, reflect on your study habits and find a way to not only pass but excel in your classes. A good foundation will help you on the boards, rotations, and residency.

 

[thepoopologist]

Repeating a year or decelerating is more common than you'd think.

It does make your future feel less certain and the risk of failing out more real and that tends to shake people's commitment and self confidence.

Where I went to school. I remember a M1 giving me a tour of the campus when I interviewed. Then the following years he was in my M1 class and M2 class. Then I heard he needed to repeat M2. Then had to take Comlex a couple times. All in all he was in school 2008-2014, then went to residency and finished. Another student I know repeated M1 and M2 between 2008-2011 and then failed out. Another decelerated to 5 years and then became a cardiologist.

Its a calculated risk you're taking and if you do decide to repeat just know that willpower and commitment and luck have as much to do with success as raw intelligence.

 

[Osminog]

What do you call somebody who finishes medical school in five years? A physician. Objectively speaking, that aspect of the situation is far from a huge deal. It's understandable that you're upset and embarrassed about it; it's not a good feeling to be held back and separated from your class. At the same time, I would hope that your friends know you well enough to understand that repeating a year doesn't mean you're incompetent or unable to become a great doctor.

The far more important factors here, in my opinion, are the learning difficulties and mental health struggles. If you haven't already, you should meet with an academic advisor, mental health professional, etc., and come up with a strong game plan so that you can start the next academic year on the right foot. The goal is to become a redemption story—to show the faculty and administrators what you're really made of. To do this, you'll have to come back in the fall feeling academically confident and mentally strong.

 

[calvinhobbes]

You’ll be fine. Plenty of people repeat a year, I know many, one is a Neuroradiologist, another is a Cardiologist, both DOs. No one cares, just be honest if asked, and you also don’t owe anyone any explanation. Just focus on studying hard and passing boards and in five years literally all of these people won’t matter, you won’t remember them, and they won’t remember you. You got this!

 

[Surgeon D.O.]

Several of my classmates repeated a year and several fell to the class below mine, I think no differently about any of them.

 

[Ho0v-man]

Med schools hard AF and people fail. I’m sure there’s people in school who think less of people who have to repeat a year. But they’re all tools none us can stand to be around anyway so who cares? The ones I know who had to repeat would tell you they would have really struggled with boards if they didn’t.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Two of my good friends had to repeat MS1. Didn’t change how I think of them at all. I thought it was really mature of them to take on their challenges and move forward.

 

[Redpancreas]

Two of my good friends had to repeat MS1. Didn’t change how I think of them at all. I thought it was really mature of them to take on their challenges and move forward.

This OP. It’s how you respond to the challenges. Some people struggle with the material more than others and it isn’t reflective of your ultimate ability or potential. Take this as an opportunity to not only remediate and master the material you failed but to revisit your daily workflow and habits so you can avoid future stumbling blocks. At the end of the day 1 year is a drop in the bucket for an otherwise 30-40 year career.

 

[Redpancreas]

First, you got to reflect why they are making you repeat a year. Failing an anatomy class by 1.5% does not put you in a position to repeat a whole year. Likely you were not doing well in your other classes as well. Take your this as a chance to learn the material well, crush COMLEX1 and 2 and match into a good residency. You're going to be a physician for a long time (~30 years), being held back a year is nothing.

Your current medical student friends should understand how hard med school is and be understanding. I am sure you will make new friends. Instead of worrying about what they think, reflect on your study habits and find a way to not only pass but excel in your classes. A good foundation will help you on the boards

OP failed anatomy and was initially slotted for summer remediation, but now learned they failed another course and based off their knowledge of the school policy, they’re thinking they’re going to repeat the year.

Completely agree on using this as an opportunity to not only pass but to develop a good foundation. People who truly need that often squeak bye in many cases.

 

[DOVinciRobot]

These failures do not define you. Analyze what happened, and improve your study process so you can grow and excel, as your career is far from over. Med school is an adjustment and it can wipe out anyone in the right circumstances.

 

[Neopolymath]

Med school is one dimension of your life not your entire life!

 

[mwsapphire]

Anybody who has been in my positon.

Were your parents sort of.." Well, you must have just effed around and not taken school seriously." about it? I don't blame them for being disapointed, but the constant " So you just slacked off for a yr" is...very much salt on a wound.

 

[deleted1079620]

Anybody who has been in my positon.

Were your parents sort of.." Well, you must have just effed around and not taken school seriously." about it? I don't blame them for being disapointed, but the constant " So you just slacked off for a yr" is...very much salt on a wound.

I’m very sorry that this is the message they’re sending you, instead of being supportive. I would probably stand up and say “I did not slack off during school. I faced a very difficult year and struggled, and I would appreciate your support in overcoming my difficulties & moving forward. However, if this is the treatment I have to look forward to, I’ll move out, take out my own loans and deal with this myself, because I don’t need to be continually beat down by you in addition to repeating the year.”

But I’m an older student and I’ve learned how I will and will not be spoken to, and I’m perfectly willing to train my husband, parents & extended family if necessary in how to properly support a struggling person. You do not deserve to be spoken to in this way, and you are an adult!

 

[MDMechEngr]

Anybody who has been in my positon.

Were your parents sort of.." Well, you must have just effed around and not taken school seriously." about it? I don't blame them for being disapointed, but the constant " So you just slacked off for a yr" is...very much salt on a wound.

Mine would absolutely say this. LOL. You and I went through the 2019-2020 application cycle together and I am familar with your stats. You absolutely got this. Set your compass north, move out, and don't look back.

 

[mwsapphire]

I’m very sorry that this is the message they’re sending you, instead of being supportive. I would probably stand up and say “I did not slack off during school. I faced a very difficult year and struggled, and I would appreciate your support in overcoming my difficulties & moving forward. However, if this is the treatment I have to look forward to, I’ll move out, take out my own loans and deal with this myself, because I don’t need to be continually beat down by you in addition to repeating the year.”

But I’m an older student and I’ve learned how I will and will not be spoken to, and I’m perfectly willing to train my husband, parents & extended family if necessary in how to properly support a struggling person. You do not deserve to be spoken to in this way, and you are an adult!

See, I'd rather not do that. For a variety of reasons. First of all, in our religion, we do our best to minimize taking out loans. ( This is bc financial interest is a sin, and basically we do our best to not support the business of interest based loans by doing whatever we can to minimize taking out loans for school) , so it'd really be something I don't want to do.

Also, it's more my mom coming after me with this ( this is TMI but I need someplace to shed these Feels TM) , and she's a SAHM. The financial support is from my dad, who is likely also disappointed but has managed to not say anything like this. So also it's unfair to imply it's both of them, that was my mistake. I actually couldn't' even bear to tell him, I had my mom break the news to him. It's still unbearable to discuss it with him.

Mine would absolutely say this. LOL. You and I went through the 2019-2020 application cycle together and I am familar with your stats. You absolutely got this. Set your compass north, move out, and don't look back.

OMG this is so sweet. The encouragement but also the fact that you remember me from our app cycle and my stats.


So, I got my email from the academic affairs office saying I need to email an assistant dean with my decision to repeat the year or leave. Obviously I want to repeat the year. I will then meet with a committee and we'll discuss plans for how I will succeed next year , and hopefully my request to repeat will be approved. My question is, how do I write this email? Do I just write " I would like to repeat" or should I write out that I think i've identified what went wrong this year and what I plan to do, or make it more short? It says to contact the assistant dean " with my decision. ( Posting here to get as many answers from multiple folks in case somebody new sees this thread.) It implies after I tell them my decision, we can move forward with the process.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

See, I'd rather not do that. For a variety of reasons. First of all, in our religion, we do our best to minimize taking out loans. ( This is bc financial interest is a sin, and basically we do our best to not support the business of interest based loans by doing whatever we can to minimize taking out loans for school) , so it'd really be something I don't want to do.

Also, it's more my mom coming after me with this ( this is TMI but I need someplace to shed these Feels TM) , and she's a SAHM. The financial support is from my dad, who is likely also disappointed but has managed to not say anything like this. So also it's unfair to imply it's both of them, that was my mistake. I actually couldn't' even bear to tell him, I had my mom break the news to him. It's still unbearable to discuss it with him.

OMG this is so sweet. The encouragement but also the fact that you remember me from our app cycle and my stats.


So, I got my email from the academic affairs office saying I need to email an assistant dean with my decision to repeat the year or leave. Obviously I want to repeat the year. I will then meet with a committee and we'll discuss plans for how I will succeed next year , and hopefully my request to repeat will be approved. My question is, how do I write this email? Do I just write " I would like to repeat" or should I write out that I think i've identified what went wrong this year and what I plan to do, or make it more short? It says to contact the assistant dean " with my decision. ( Posting here to get as many answers from multiple folks in case somebody new sees this thread.) It implies after I tell them my decision, we can move forward with the process.

I would keep it short and sweet. Something like “I would like to repeat the year and have identified things to work on so I can succeed next year. Thank you.”

Edit: also, I know folks from all the major religions who have taken out loans, including observant people. Have you spoken with a religious advisor? There might be something there. For example, the Torah prohibits Jews from borrowing from or lending to another Jew when interest is involved. The prohibition is specifically when both parties are Jewish, and so Jewish students can take out student loans as long as it’s not from another Jew, which means generally it’s okay since student loans aren’t usually provided by a single person.

 

[sunshinefl]

Anybody who has been in my positon.

Were your parents sort of.." Well, you must have just effed around and not taken school seriously." about it? I don't blame them for being disapointed, but the constant " So you just slacked off for a yr" is...very much salt on a wound.

Nobody except other medical students can even remotely understand what it’s like even in the absence of a setback. Just know in your heart that it’s not accurate and don’t look to them for support about it. Other medical students will be more understanding.

See, I'd rather not do that. For a variety of reasons. First of all, in our religion, we do our best to minimize taking out loans. ( This is bc financial interest is a sin, and basically we do our best to not support the business of interest based loans by doing whatever we can to minimize taking out loans for school) , so it'd really be something I don't want to do.

Also, it's more my mom coming after me with this ( this is TMI but I need someplace to shed these Feels TM) , and she's a SAHM. The financial support is from my dad, who is likely also disappointed but has managed to not say anything like this. So also it's unfair to imply it's both of them, that was my mistake. I actually couldn't' even bear to tell him, I had my mom break the news to him. It's still unbearable to discuss it with him.

OMG this is so sweet. The encouragement but also the fact that you remember me from our app cycle and my stats.


So, I got my email from the academic affairs office saying I need to email an assistant dean with my decision to repeat the year or leave. Obviously I want to repeat the year. I will then meet with a committee and we'll discuss plans for how I will succeed next year , and hopefully my request to repeat will be approved. My question is, how do I write this email? Do I just write " I would like to repeat" or should I write out that I think i've identified what went wrong this year and what I plan to do, or make it more short? It says to contact the assistant dean " with my decision. ( Posting here to get as many answers from multiple folks in case somebody new sees this thread.) It implies after I tell them my decision, we can move forward with the process.

Short and sweet. Email them your decision to continue and repeat the year. You can think of some ideas in the meantime, but when you meet with the committee, your plan will be formulated.

 

[Angus Avagadro]

I ask students interviewing for my school ," What's the most important characteristic a medical student should have?" I get lots of lovely and thoughtful responses. Then I tell them, "Grit", is what I think most important for the majority of students because you will be challenged in some way during the process. Unless you are an elite student, med school will definitely test your character. How do you respond to a setback? This is where Grit comes in. " Never give up..Never surrender"

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

I ask students interviewing for my school ," What's the most important characteristic a medical student should have?" I get lots of lovely and thoughtful responses. Then I tell them, "Grit", is what I think most important for the majority of students because you will be challenged in some way during the process. Unless you are an elite student, med school will definitely test your character. How do you respond to a setback? This is where Grit comes in. " Never give up..Never surrender"

Honestly, at some point it challenges everyone. Even the top students.

 

[DrZoidbergDO]

I would keep it short and sweet. Something like “I would like to repeat the year and have identified things to work on so I can succeed next year. Thank you.”

Edit: also, I know folks from all the major religions who have taken out loans, including observant people. Have you spoken with a religious advisor? There might be something there. For example, the Torah prohibits Jews from borrowing from or lending to another Jew when interest is involved. The prohibition is specifically when both parties are Jewish, and so Jewish students can take out student loans as long as it’s not from another Jew, which means generally it’s okay since student loans aren’t usually provided by a single person.

So basically all interest is straight up Haram in Islam, but since it's impossible to not deal with interest in our modern monetary system, you basically just try to take out as little loans with as little interest as possible

 

[deleted1079620]

See, I'd rather not do that. For a variety of reasons. First of all, in our religion, we do our best to minimize taking out loans. ( This is bc financial interest is a sin, and basically we do our best to not support the business of interest based loans by doing whatever we can to minimize taking out loans for school) , so it'd really be something I don't want to do.

Also, it's more my mom coming after me with this ( this is TMI but I need someplace to shed these Feels TM) , and she's a SAHM. The financial support is from my dad, who is likely also disappointed but has managed to not say anything like this. So also it's unfair to imply it's both of them, that was my mistake. I actually couldn't' even bear to tell him, I had my mom break the news to him. It's still unbearable to discuss it with him.

OMG this is so sweet. The encouragement but also the fact that you remember me from our app cycle and my stats.


So, I got my email from the academic affairs office saying I need to email an assistant dean with my decision to repeat the year or leave. Obviously I want to repeat the year. I will then meet with a committee and we'll discuss plans for how I will succeed next year , and hopefully my request to repeat will be approved. My question is, how do I write this email? Do I just write " I would like to repeat" or should I write out that I think i've identified what went wrong this year and what I plan to do, or make it more short? It says to contact the assistant dean " with my decision. ( Posting here to get as many answers from multiple folks in case somebody new sees this thread.) It implies after I tell them my decision, we can move forward with the process.

Ahh, I didn’t know that. I know many devout Muslim students who take out loans. Many Christians don’t believe in borrowing either, so I understand. I do think it’s ok to stand up for yourself though, and there is a respectful way to do it. That was my main point…I wasn’t really focusing on the loans.

Also, I understand feeling like you’ve disappointed the whole world…I have a spouse and children that I felt like I let down, after they moved across the country for me to go to school. This will eat you alive if you don’t deal with it, and it’ll haunt you into next year. You haven’t let anyone down, you’ve experienced a setback. Everyone will have at least one in their lifetime, and how you respond and talk to yourself about it will have a huge impact on your ability to overcome it.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

So basically all interest is straight up Haram in Islam, but since it's impossible to not deal with interest in our modern monetary system, you basically just try to take out as little loans with as little interest as possible

Interesting. I definitely know devout Muslims who took out student loans. Maybe just a lack of choices there.

 

[hallowmann]

My post may also be an exercise in TMI, but so be it.

See, I'd rather not do that. For a variety of reasons. First of all, in our religion, we do our best to minimize taking out loans. ( This is bc financial interest is a sin, and basically we do our best to not support the business of interest based loans by doing whatever we can to minimize taking out loans for school) , so it'd really be something I don't want to do.

Also, it's more my mom coming after me with this ( this is TMI but I need someplace to shed these Feels TM) , and she's a SAHM. The financial support is from my dad, who is likely also disappointed but has managed to not say anything like this. So also it's unfair to imply it's both of them, that was my mistake. I actually couldn't' even bear to tell him, I had my mom break the news to him. It's still unbearable to discuss it with him.

OMG this is so sweet. The encouragement but also the fact that you remember me from our app cycle and my stats.


So, I got my email from the academic affairs office saying I need to email an assistant dean with my decision to repeat the year or leave. Obviously I want to repeat the year. I will then meet with a committee and we'll discuss plans for how I will succeed next year , and hopefully my request to repeat will be approved. My question is, how do I write this email? Do I just write " I would like to repeat" or should I write out that I think i've identified what went wrong this year and what I plan to do, or make it more short? It says to contact the assistant dean " with my decision. ( Posting here to get as many answers from multiple folks in case somebody new sees this thread.) It implies after I tell them my decision, we can move forward with the process.

It seems like your parents are being relatively supportive of you. You're mom probably thinks she trying to motivate you, but is obviously doing it in a non-productive way. Most people don't know what's actually involved in medical school, so the idea of a smart person studying hard and not passing doesn't make sense to them. It makes sense to all of us though, obviously. Brush it off. Try to limit conversations with your mom about it, there's no point exposing yourself to that negative feedback right now.

Also, be careful not to project too much. You may be expecting that they are disappointed because of your disappointment in yourself. They may just be worried about the future more than anything.

One of the greatest worries I have is not that my kids will do bad in school, but it's that they will struggle to provide for themselves when I no longer can. It's one of our main jobs as parents to try our best to prepare our children and set them up to succeed. Seeing my children succeed will not make me think better of them (I already think the world of them), it will make me more confident that I did my job and that they will be able to fend for themselves.

For a while, my dad used to be crazy hard on me in my less directioned time of early adulthood. You know what he talks about now? How anxious and stressed out he was that I wouldn't be able to support myself, how he used to talk about his worry with friends, and how he now feels safe to retire and ultimately to pass away knowing his kids are set up.

Interesting. I definitely know devout Muslims who took out student loans. Maybe just a lack of choices there.

Dealing in any interest is technically forbidden. There is some (albeit limited) disagreement in whether this is all interest 100% or usury specifically, which is not as well-defined, but is essentially burdensome interest. You are not supposed to engage in it from either end whether you are being the one taken advantage of (by having to pay interest) or you are benefiting (by receiving interest), although the latter is generally considered worse because the sanctity of the source of one's finances is in and of itself very important in Islam. There are ways to offer penance for this, by for example donating all interest to the poorest of the poor in charity, although Islam does not endorse ends justifying the means, so you cannot deal in interest with the intent to donate, it is simply a way of cleansing your finances.

The taking out of loans is unfortunately something virtually impossible to avoid in our society, so most Muslims either will use Islamic finance (loans based on fees and shares so it is less about the interest - although if you're not careful some of these in my opinion are essentially interest based loans in everything but name) or they will try to minimize traditional loans as much as they can, attempt to pay them off quickly to minimize the interest, and use measures as described above to offer penance for its use.

Generally speaking when it comes to loans given by Muslims, whether to other Muslims or non-Muslims, they should never involve interest. One is not meant to make money off of money alone. If someone is investing, there should be risk that that investment could go well and risk that it could go poorly (e.g. investing in a company, investing in an individual to go to school or develop a business, etc). Interest-based loans guarantee the benefit is always in favor of the lender at the expense of the borrower.

Interestingly, during the recession Islamic finance/investing actually gained a lot of popularity among non-Muslims, because it offered more stability from an investment standpoint than other markets that were heavily leveraged in finances and specifically mortgages and interest-based loans.

 

[DrZoidbergDO]

Interesting. I definitely know devout Muslims who took out student loans. Maybe just a lack of choices there.

Yeah it's basically impossible to avoid.

 

[International_student]

Hey girl, I recognized your username from last cycle as we applied together. You left a good impression on me on different threads, and I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. One of the first friends I made in school left since last summer and just started back, but we have become even closer through the year even though she wasn’t in school. I’m sure your friends will not treat you any different. I know it’s devastating but I hope this year goes by very fast for you. Best of luck

 

[fldoctorgirl]

Just wanted to send some positive vibes. I remember a lot of your threads and although your parents may not understand, all of us here know the grind that is med school and we all know you didn't just slack off. It's unfortunately just hard for anybody else to truly get it. I have a family member who repeated a year, he's a resident right now doing what he loves. I have classmates who joined my class when they had to repeat, and M1 classmates who are now in the class below me. There is no judgement towards any of them....if anything, I am in awe of their resilience in taking on one of the hardest years (for me, at least) of life again.

 

[benruitz98]

Interesting. I definitely know devout Muslims who took out student loans. Maybe just a lack of choices there.

Some of us are very devout, some select what to follow, etc. I'm non-practicing but I have friends who will do just about anything (drink, smoke, premarital sex, etc) but won't consume pork. I have a classmate who refused to take out loans (parents paid toa void interest) but then wanted to hop on the stock train and his parents didn't approve so he took out loans to gamble away (thankfully he profited).

 

[getfat]

Were your parents sort of.." Well, you must have just effed around and not taken school seriously." about it? I don't blame them for being disapointed, but the constant " So you just slacked off for a yr" is...very much salt on a wound.

Almost broke my computer reading this haha. Show them a powerpoint or review sheet for an exam.

 

[benruitz98]

Almost broke my computer reading this haha. Show them a powerpoint or review sheet for an exam.

Most people outside of medicine think we just hang around the hospital and make bank.

 

[mwsapphire]

Almost broke my computer reading this haha. Show them a powerpoint or review sheet for an exam.

I guess her point was " If I couldn't do it why did I sign up for it"

It would make more sense if they went to med school or ever did remote **** school during a pandemic, and also the worst year to be remote ( first yr is already tough bc of isolation and not knowing how to approach school) , or even did any pandemmy schooling at all.

 

[benruitz98]

I guess her point was " If I couldn't do it why did I sign up for it"

It would make more sense if they went to med school or ever did remote **** school during a pandemic, and also the worst year to be remote ( first yr is already tough bc of isolation and not knowing how to approach school) , or even did any pandemmy schooling at all.

TBH even some older docs think its a walk in the park because they didn't have an 80 hour cap for residency so it must mean everything is easier nowadays. They forget that most insurance regulations didn't exist back then. EM didn't exist for example and any fresh med school grad could run an ER with little liability. They also had a significantly smaller amount of info to learn and lower minimal competencies to meet.

A family friend of our went to SGU in the late 80s and talked about how easy it was back then to match.

 

[BobbyKoch]

TBH even some older docs think its a walk in the park because they didn't have an 80 hour cap for residency so it must mean everything is easier nowadays. They forget that most insurance regulations didn't exist back then. EM didn't exist for example and any fresh med school grad could run an ER with little liability. They also had a significantly smaller amount of info to learn and lower minimal competencies to meet.

A family friend of our went to SGU in the late 80s and talked about how easy it was back then to match.

yep...FirstAid was like half as long and passing Step 1 score was ten points lower (exaggerating, but not by much).

OP, I feel for you. I've had many setbacks, both before and during medical school. You haven't really failed until you give up. Keep fighting, come back stronger and make this happen for yourself. Your parents might be disappointed for a minute and they might have unproductive ways of expressing it (as someone commented above), but I also think they will be proud of your resilience and tenacity when you ultimately succeed. First year is a pressure cooker. I found second year gets better and I am really looking forward to clerkships. Keep pushing forward.

 

[Stranger00120]

I remember you from the application threads last year, you got in, which is amazing. I'm just going to be starting first year at the same school, other campus. Pandemic schooling was a disaster for so many people (I tutor high school students, so I've seen a pretty broad sample). I'm sure you're going to come back stronger next year. The setbacks help us build, and it doesn't say anything about what kind of doctor you'll be.

 

[getfat]

I guess her point was " If I couldn't do it why did I sign up for it"

It would make more sense if they went to med school or ever did remote **** school during a pandemic, and also the worst year to be remote ( first yr is already tough bc of isolation and not knowing how to approach school) , or even did any pandemmy schooling at all.

You're probably right. It's just frustrating hearing about this type of way to "motivate" their children.

I'm starting to notice a lot of parents do it (including mine).

OP when you succeed and graduate medical school. Make sure to laugh when your parents tell you they always believed you would do it during graduation.

 

[Redpancreas]

Anybody who has been in my positon.

Were your parents sort of.." Well, you must have just effed around and not taken school seriously." about it? I don't blame them for being disapointed, but the constant " So you just slacked off for a yr" is...very much salt on a wound.

It’s ignorance. Maybe just keep in touch a little more; maybe what they’re really asking is why you aren’t calling them more often. Often in stressful situations we put up walls and avoid our loved ones. Try to avoid that. Have you tried involving them when discussing your exams. Maybe having them along to hear about the struggles will make them realize the true hardship.

 

[BidingMyTime]

Parents, and your friends, aren't going to understand the depth and fast pace of medical school. Of course you had to tell your parents, but try not to take their disappointment/lack of understanding to heart. Honestly, I wouldn't tell your friends, they aren't likely to be thinking about what year of medical school you are in. Then when you are in year 3, if any of them do remember and ask about your graduation plans, you can casually mention that you had to repeat some classes first year, so you won't be graduating until the next year. At that point when you are in year 3, your friends aren't going to have much to say about what happened 2 years ago.

 

[fldoctorgirl]

Honestly, I wouldn't tell your friends, they aren't likely to be thinking about what year of medical school you are in

I think OP is referring to her friends in her class, who will know she's no longer in their class.

From my experience, no one judges. And if they do, they're probably not someone you want as a friend anyways.

 

[mwsapphire]

Some of us are very devout, some select what to follow, etc. I'm non-practicing but I have friends who will do just about anything (drink, smoke, premarital sex, etc) but won't consume pork. I have a classmate who refused to take out loans (parents paid toa void interest) but then wanted to hop on the stock train and his parents didn't approve so he took out loans to gamble away (thankfully he profited).

Its really just a lack of choice. When necessary it's fine bc education is considered extremely important in Islam. It's really just that parents are supposed to contribute as much as they can. For med school it's tough bc its not as simple as " just go public" like it may be for college.

 

[Goro]

Anybody who has been in my positon.

Were your parents sort of.." Well, you must have just effed around and not taken school seriously." about it? I don't blame them for being disapointed, but the constant " So you just slacked off for a yr" is...very much salt on a wound.

Parents, out of love and ignorance, often try to destroy one's medical career. You will need to develop both a thicker skin and learn how to tune them out.

 

[mwsapphire]

Hi buddies,

I know I keep reviving this thread, but I need to get my emotions TM out ( and anybody who is really bothered could always mute the thread).

I feel like I'm going through the 7 stages of grief...and am just..stuck on anger. I'm so mad this is happening to me, I feel like I don't deserve it, all my friends are moving on without me and I get to do the worst year of my life...twice. I'm tired of being gritty. (I had a lot of bad luck when I was pre med too, and was a typical unhappy teen before college) and I wanted things to go somewhat normally for a little bit, but I guess a kitten dies every time that happens.

Okay vent over. Thanks for reading.

 

[benruitz98]

Hi buddies,

I know I keep reviving this thread, but I need to get my emotions TM out ( and anybody who is really bothered could always mute the thread).

I feel like I'm going through the 7 stages of grief...and am just..stuck on anger. I'm so mad this is happening to me, I feel like I don't deserve it, all my friends are moving on without me and I get to do the worst year of my life...twice. I'm tired of being gritty. (I had a lot of bad luck when I was pre med too) and I wanted things to go somewhat normally for a little bit, but I guess a kitten dies every time that happens.

Okay vent over. Thanks for reading.

Focus on the positives. You're already in the top 1% of people intelligence-wise. You've already seen the material once and you know what not to do the second time around. Use this to build a strong foundation and you'll cruise through the 3 years that follow. Connect with others who are remediating and come up with a game plan together.

 

[DrZoidbergDO]

Hi buddies,

I know I keep reviving this thread, but I need to get my emotions TM out ( and anybody who is really bothered could always mute the thread).

I feel like I'm going through the 7 stages of grief...and am just..stuck on anger. I'm so mad this is happening to me, I feel like I don't deserve it, all my friends are moving on without me and I get to do the worst year of my life...twice. I'm tired of being gritty. (I had a lot of bad luck when I was pre med too, and was a typical unhappy teen before college) and I wanted things to go somewhat normally for a little bit, but I guess a kitten dies every time that happens.

Okay vent over. Thanks for reading.

Hey, do whatever you have to do to get in the right headspace. If that means venting here, vent away. We've got you

 

[Redpancreas]

Hi buddies,

I know I keep reviving this thread, but I need to get my emotions TM out ( and anybody who is really bothered could always mute the thread).

I feel like I'm going through the 7 stages of grief...and am just..stuck on anger. I'm so mad this is happening to me, I feel like I don't deserve it, all my friends are moving on without me and I get to do the worst year of my life...twice. I'm tired of being gritty. (I had a lot of bad luck when I was pre med too, and was a typical unhappy teen before college) and I wanted things to go somewhat normally for a little bit, but I guess a kitten dies every time that happens.

Okay vent over. Thanks for reading.

You can keep venting here if you think it’s therapeutic but from someone who’s had to repeat far more without failing anything, ruminating on this is just going to weigh you down. The more cycles of rumination, the more damage it’s going to do to your mental health/psyche moving forward and IT’S NOT REVERSIBLE. What we don’t want to see is you coming back next year with a similar thread.

This has happened. There are people who did nothing wrong (haven’t failed courses) who’ve had a longer path to where you’re at for various reasons. You should count your blessings that you have the opportunity to repeat things.

All you can do now is take the spare change you’ve been given after this ****ty transaction and cash it in for something. You have a year of seeing the old material, right? Surely you’ve mastered some of it. You’ll be the one ahead of the game for once instead of playing catch up. Trust me. Those advantages will compound may provide the spark your life needs. If this changes the trajectory of what will be a 30-40 year long career, forget one year, people would give up an entire decade to do that.

In regards to your parents, ignore their words but spend more time with them as difficult as that is when things are stressful.

Sorry if this is harsh, but only you can validate yourself. You may trick yourself into feeling better because of what someone on the internet wrote like “it’s OK”, that it’s not your fault, that you’re still destined for great things…etc., but in a few days something from the real world will dig up all that bitter resentment you tried to bury. The only person who can lay those ugly thoughts to yourself by replacing them with positive thoughts about the future. Don’t take this second chance for granted. You need to focus and what you’re going to do differently this time around.

 

[hallowmann]

Hi buddies,

I know I keep reviving this thread, but I need to get my emotions TM out ( and anybody who is really bothered could always mute the thread).

I feel like I'm going through the 7 stages of grief...and am just..stuck on anger. I'm so mad this is happening to me, I feel like I don't deserve it, all my friends are moving on without me and I get to do the worst year of my life...twice. I'm tired of being gritty. (I had a lot of bad luck when I was pre med too, and was a typical unhappy teen before college) and I wanted things to go somewhat normally for a little bit, but I guess a kitten dies every time that happens.

Okay vent over. Thanks for reading.

Forget about perseverance and grit. Do things because it works toward your goal/what you want, not for the sake of being "gritty". If medicine is what you want, this is the next step.

Things happen in this life. You are going to struggle at times and do well at others. There are also going to be times when you fail, and times where you do everything right and still don't get what you want. You should not define yourself by these struggles, you'll miss the good times. This will all be a distant memory in a couple years.

Also, to be clear, there will be worse times than this. Medicine is a long and painful road full of frustration, exhaustion and disappointment, but also full of amazing friendships, accomplishments, and other rewards. Only you can decide if its a road you want to take.

 

[mwsapphire]

Another update:
Told my closest friend in my POD group. She offered to relay it to everybody else in the group, and offered me old notes. She was actually wicked calm and said this doesn't affect us being friends ( not that that surprised me, but Idk I was still nervous anyway).

Edit: Mom is still berating everyday. I've learned to tune it out, it only really stresses me out bc I know this is a bad situation anyway, so it's more that her berating makes me remember that this is a bad situation. Trying to get the ball rolling on some kind of medicine for anxiety attacks.

 

[sunshinefl]

Another update:
Told my closest friend in my POD group. She offered to relay it to everybody else in the group, and offered me old notes. She was actually wicked calm and said this doesn't affect us being friends ( not that that surprised me, but Idk I was still nervous anyway).

Edit: Mom is still berating everyday. I've learned to tune it out, it only really stresses me out bc I know this is a bad situation anyway, so it's more that her berating makes me remember that this is a bad situation. Trying to get the ball rolling on some kind of medicine for anxiety attacks.

I know you have culture, religion, etc effecting your choices, but you gotta get away from that. Some how.

glad your POD friend was supportive.