Have to repeat OMS I. Gutted and...mortified.

[Redpancreas]

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Another update:
Told my closest friend in my POD group. She offered to relay it to everybody else in the group, and offered me old notes. She was actually wicked calm and said this doesn't affect us being friends ( not that that surprised me, but Idk I was still nervous anyway).

Edit: Mom is still berating everyday. I've learned to tune it out, it only really stresses me out bc I know this is a bad situation anyway, so it's more that her berating makes me remember that this is a bad situation. Trying to get the ball rolling on some kind of medicine for anxiety attacks.

Siaution seems much worse than I thought, I guess you're going to have to depersonalize yourself from it in a way. More important than any anxiety medication is seeing a high quality psychologist or psychiatrist willing to provide counseling/therapy. Pay out of pocket if you have to. Hopefully you're sharing these narratives with such a person.

 

[calivianya]

Another update:
Told my closest friend in my POD group. She offered to relay it to everybody else in the group, and offered me old notes. She was actually wicked calm and said this doesn't affect us being friends ( not that that surprised me, but Idk I was still nervous anyway).

Edit: Mom is still berating everyday. I've learned to tune it out, it only really stresses me out bc I know this is a bad situation anyway, so it's more that her berating makes me remember that this is a bad situation. Trying to get the ball rolling on some kind of medicine for anxiety attacks.

Nothing wrong with psych meds for sure.

I know a good proportion of my class was already on a psych med of some sort, and I’d say that proportion is quite a bit larger now. I can think of one person in my friend group who isn’t taking something - the rest are. As far as everyone else, I know multiple people buying pee off the internet to pass drug tests, so a bunch of them are still self-medicating even if it’s not a legal substance.

This really shouldn’t be this hard. I have no idea how to fix it, but just the sheer number of brilliant people who need help once starting med school, who’ve never needed it before, tells me that something is irreparably broken about our medical education system.

I second talking to someone. I never talked to a therapist in my life… until med school. It’s nice to have a neutral third party to talk to when things get bad.

 

[Sleepingdoc]

Hi everyone,

I'm an OMS I at a well known DO school . I'm in the position where I will likely have to repeat the year. My school was mostly remote due to COVID, and because of that I struggled a LOT with anatomy last sem. By the time I started passing it was too late for the math to work in my favor. I was going to remediate over the summer. ( By mostly remote I mean 6 hrs weekly of dissection anatomy lab reduced to 2 hrs pro-section lab, no extra lab time w cadaver).

I guess I must have struggled a lot more with anxiety this semester than I thought, bc I failed my current course by 1.5 percentage points ( I know a fail is a fail, and I didn't meet the minimum threshold to pass, but it's just mind blowing that I"m in this position).

I'm waiting for admin to confirm, but I am in all likelihood repeating the year. I'm crushed on so many levels. Humiliated, depressed, can't beleive I have to do it all over again. I was waitlisted before getting in ( app complete late /interviewed late/ accepted late), and it's amazing that just over a year after I got in, I'm finding out that I have to repeat the year. What a contrast a year can bring.

I already told my parents. I'm extremely lucky that I went to an affordable college/ lived at home/ had a scholarship, so I don't have UGrad debt. That ,combined with the fact that I'm super fortunate to have my parents help me with living expenses, the debt factor shouldn't be *too* bad, in the long run. ( My school also charges half tuition/ full fees rather than full tuition/full fees for a repeated year).

How will I tell my friends? I only have 1 pod of friends since that's the setup my school did with COVID, but I can't bear the thought of telling them. Even as I'm looking for roommates for next year ( I lived alone this year bc I couldn't find a good roomie situation) , they may realize as well . Shame shame shame. I feel 14 years old again, with how emotional I am rn.

Any advice? Please help a sad b!tch out.

I would say keep your head up. Pretty soon you will realize that Medicine is not just about grades... Its about people's lives. Who cares about what your friends think if you fail. if you fall, you just have to get up. Thats life my friend. Just dont look at your friends, just look at yourself and do what you can... Others in my class have failed a year and repeated in med school too, they just overcome it and are now attending.

 

[hallowmann]

Nothing wrong with psych meds for sure.

I know a good proportion of my class was already on a psych med of some sort, and I’d say that proportion is quite a bit larger now. I can think of one person in my friend group who isn’t taking something - the rest are. As far as everyone else, I know multiple people buying pee off the internet to pass drug tests, so a bunch of them are still self-medicating even if it’s not a legal substance.

This really shouldn’t be this hard. I have no idea how to fix it, but just the sheer number of brilliant people who need help once starting med school, who’ve never needed it before, tells me that something is irreparably broken about our medical education system.

I second talking to someone. I never talked to a therapist in my life… until med school. It’s nice to have a neutral third party to talk to when things get bad.

Medicine is broken. Hell its basically broken by design. I'm sick of hearing about suicides and it being silenced by the academic machine.

I'm also sick of the stigma associated with getting help whether it's meds or therapy. I can assure you, plenty of great doctors/med students need help in this area. The lucky ones get it through their psychiatrist or therapist. The unlucky ones get it from the bottom of a bottle, pipe, or syringe.

 

[alecbak]

Don’t worry about it. It is what it is, one day you'll see that this was somehow the best thing that could have happened to you

 

[PTPuser]

Girl, throw away the brown mentality and just do you. And this goes for both your parents and religion.

They don't get it and they never will. Allah will forgive.

Do what you have to do to move forward.

This will be biggest time for growth and a trial of perseverance. It freaking sucks to fail, trust me, been there and done that.

Cry, be sad, sleep it off for a week if you have to. Just get back up and tackle it with a good game plan. You got this.

 

[deleted1100659]

Another update:
Told my closest friend in my POD group. She offered to relay it to everybody else in the group, and offered me old notes. She was actually wicked calm and said this doesn't affect us being friends ( not that that surprised me, but Idk I was still nervous anyway).

Edit: Mom is still berating everyday. I've learned to tune it out, it only really stresses me out bc I know this is a bad situation anyway, so it's more that her berating makes me remember that this is a bad situation. Trying to get the ball rolling on some kind of medicine for anxiety attacks.

for what its worth, I started off in the bottom 5 of my class, finished in the top half, 2/4 years of residency was highest score on in service exam in my class, and now a psych attending.

not everyone gets it right away, but the ability to adapt can be quite useful. Your parents and most people likely wont understand what you're going through. That horrible feeling of failure; this is not the end.

 

[mwsapphire]

I know you have culture, religion, etc effecting your choices, but you gotta get away from that. Some how.

glad your POD friend was supportive.

I'm moving back out for school in about a month anyway.

Siaution seems much worse than I thought, I guess you're going to have to depersonalize yourself from it in a way. More important than any anxiety medication is seeing a high quality psychologist or psychiatrist willing to provide counseling/therapy. Pay out of pocket if you have to. Hopefully you're sharing these narratives with such a person.

I should clarify: I was having issues with anxiety long before this situation. I actually think that contributed to me struggling this past year ( or was like, the main contributor tbh) , not bc of the berating. Like I had the anxiety anyway.

Nothing wrong with psych meds for sure.

I know a good proportion of my class was already on a psych med of some sort, and I’d say that proportion is quite a bit larger now. I can think of one person in my friend group who isn’t taking something - the rest are. As far as everyone else, I know multiple people buying pee off the internet to pass drug tests, so a bunch of them are still self-medicating even if it’s not a legal substance.

This really shouldn’t be this hard. I have no idea how to fix it, but just the sheer number of brilliant people who need help once starting med school, who’ve never needed it before, tells me that something is irreparably broken about our medical education system.

I second talking to someone. I never talked to a therapist in my life… until med school. It’s nice to have a neutral third party to talk to when things get bad.

I can't unread " buying pee off the internet" .

So I talked to a family friend who is a psychiatrist ( just for initial advice, she didn't prescribe anything) , and she recommends proper Cognitive Behavioral Therapy before trying SSRI's. I asked her about Xanax , and she said that all the scary things you hear about Xanax are as scary as they sound. I'm trying to find a CBT therapist who is certified in the state my school is in.

Medicine is broken. Hell its basically broken by design. I'm sick of hearing about suicides and it being silenced by the academic machine.

I'm also sick of the stigma associated with getting help whether it's meds or therapy. I can assure you, plenty of great doctors/med students need help in this area. The lucky ones get it through their psychiatrist or therapist. The unlucky ones get it from the bottom of a bottle, pipe, or syringe.

I did try behavioral therapy with my school , but , see above, that wasn't the right kind. It is insane that so many med students and residents need psych help. I wonder how many med students take things like Aderral and Ritalin, ( without actually having ADHD). Why have we normalized a whole career where most of us have mental health problems at one point or another? I feel like I'm already jaded.

" Med school/ med training is only one aspect of your life" when really it takes up your entire life while you're in it. I think that's part of why I'm so particularly bitter about needing to repeat the year, med school really feels like your whole entire life while you do it, so it feels like I've failed at ~ my whole life~.

I think it's cute that med school/ residency apps advertise wanting " interesting people with hobbies" , like you have much time for hobbies or anything interesting while in med school.

 

[mwsapphire]

Okay here's an update:

Meeting to decide my fate is like a week from today.

I've gone like two whole weeks without crying ( or at least 1 week, not keeping tally here this is just my memory).

So, my best friend's cousin graduated from my program this year. She also took an extra year to graduate, and from what I can tell ( like the fact that when she saw me on campus she didn't say anything about being a year behind), it was for an academic reason. I ended up seeing her at a small outdoor family friend gathering, and I kinda gently asked about the match ( She said she matched back in her home state and can live w her parents, and I said oo what specielty! and she answered it's a one year position, which makes me think it's a dead-end prelim/ transitional year. I'm going to frow up.) I was hoping she matched decently and it could give me hope. Welp.

 

[IMGASMD]

Okay here's an update:

Meeting to decide my fate is like a week from today.

I've gone like two whole weeks without crying ( or at least 1 week, not keeping tally here this is just my memory).

So, my best friend's cousin graduated from my program this year. She also took an extra year to graduate, and from what I can tell ( like the fact that when she saw me on campus she didn't say anything about being a year behind), it was for an academic reason. I ended up seeing her at a small outdoor family friend gathering, and I kinda gently asked about the match ( She said she matched back in her home state and can live w her parents, and I said oo what specielty! and she answered it's a one year position, which makes me think it's a dead-end prelim/ transitional year. I'm going to frow up.) I was hoping she matched decently and it could give me hope. Welp.

I am all for display of your emotions and wearing your feelings on your sleeves. Sometimes you just need time and more time. Just to process what’s going on. It’s overwhelming when you’re IN it, but it will all work out, somehow. Maybe not according to YOUR plan….

Transitional year/prelim year is NOT a bad thing. Its certainly much better than not match, like so many FMG/IMGs. It gives you another opportunity to showcase yourself. When you’re in the clinical realm it’s very different than the pre-clinical years. There are other skill sets you will need which is much more than just book smart and test taking smart.

Good luck.

 

[fldoctorgirl]

d it's a one year position, which makes me think it's a dead-end prelim/ transitional year. I

You're assuming this, though? She could be saying she has a year at home at a prelim before moving elsewhere. Regardless...that's one person. I have a family member who repeated a year and is a PGY2 now in the specialty they wanted. Honestly, repeating a year for whatever reason isn't that uncommon.

 

[Dave1980]

Okay here's an update:

Meeting to decide my fate is like a week from today.

I've gone like two whole weeks without crying ( or at least 1 week, not keeping tally here this is just my memory).

So, my best friend's cousin graduated from my program this year. She also took an extra year to graduate, and from what I can tell ( like the fact that when she saw me on campus she didn't say anything about being a year behind), it was for an academic reason. I ended up seeing her at a small outdoor family friend gathering, and I kinda gently asked about the match ( She said she matched back in her home state and can live w her parents, and I said oo what specielty! and she answered it's a one year position, which makes me think it's a dead-end prelim/ transitional year. I'm going to frow up.) I was hoping she matched decently and it could give me hope. Welp.

Probably didn't match a full residency so grabbed a prelim medicine spot and reapplying. Sucks for her but it doesn't mean that will happen to you.

 

[El-Rami]

Okay here's an update:

Meeting to decide my fate is like a week from today.

I've gone like two whole weeks without crying ( or at least 1 week, not keeping tally here this is just my memory).

So, my best friend's cousin graduated from my program this year. She also took an extra year to graduate, and from what I can tell ( like the fact that when she saw me on campus she didn't say anything about being a year behind), it was for an academic reason. I ended up seeing her at a small outdoor family friend gathering, and I kinda gently asked about the match ( She said she matched back in her home state and can live w her parents, and I said oo what specielty! and she answered it's a one year position, which makes me think it's a dead-end prelim/ transitional year. I'm going to frow up.) I was hoping she matched decently and it could give me hope. Welp.

Preliminary spots are a pretty common thing in surgery, from what I understand. Doesn't mean anything negative. Not so sure about "dead-end" either as I know people who are doing a transitional year and things seem to be going really well for them. It's my understanding that as long as you do well in them, you are fine.

Also you should qualify for a medical license after 1-2 years of GME.

Take a deep breath. Relax. You've got this.

 

[mwsapphire]

You're assuming this, though? She could be saying she has a year at home at a prelim before moving elsewhere. Regardless...that's one person. I have a family member who repeated a year and is a PGY2 now in the specialty they wanted. Honestly, repeating a year for whatever reason isn't that uncommon.

Idk, I asked what specielty and she seemed to dodge the question. I didn't want to press her, but if it were a rotation intern year before starting, say, rads or anestheisa, I feel like she would have said that. I obviously didn't want to make her uncomfy, lol.

My friend might mention something with time, but for now it seems like a dead end position. Welpitty welp.

 

[sunshinefl]

@mwsapphire a classmate friend of mine repeated M1 and M2, was off cycle in rotations for extended Level 1 time, failed level 2 CE, and barely graduated in 6 years. No step. She matched university Peds (her desired specialty).

your situation isn’t hopeless because of this one person.

 

[IMGASMD]

Idk, I asked what specielty and she seemed to dodge the question. I didn't want to press her, but if it were a rotation intern year before starting, say, rads or anestheisa, I feel like she would have said that. I obviously didn't want to make her uncomfy, lol.

My friend might mention something with time, but for now it seems like a dead end position. Welpitty welp.

Even if it is as you pointed out multiple times, “dead end position”. She’s there, she got her degree, she has plenty of options with a MD/DO. That’s something you don’t have and won’t have if you don’t find a way to move forward.

You need to tune all the distractions out, very difficult to do while you’re in the situation. (Believe me, I KNOW).

All the anecdotal evidence out there is just telling you there is a light at the end of the tunnel, BUT, YOU will have to be the one who walk towards it. No one else can and will do that for you.

As usual, good luck. I hope you find a way to move pass all this.

 

[El-Rami]

@mwsapphire a classmate friend of mine repeated M1 and M2, was off cycle in rotations for extended Level 1 time, failed level 2 CE, and barely graduated in 6 years. No step. She matched university Peds (her desired specialty).

your situation isn’t hopeless because of this one person.

Despite the number of red flags someone has on an ERAS application, there is always a nonzero chance of someone getting a GME position, barring something like a felony or something that would make them ineligible for residency. There are always anecdotes of someone with multiple red flags getting a residency position. That doesn't mean it is easy, or necessarily likely, but few things are impossible.

Speak with your faculty advisors and they can give you guidance for what to do in order to maximize your odds. Apply to programs that are a good fit and take faculty advising on the matter very seriously. If they tell you to apply broadly, be prepared to put down enough money to do so.

Personally I don't think repeating a year (barring any other issues) is that big of a deal for something like primary care (and possibly a lot of other specialties outside of primary care). Make sure you do well on boards.

 

[DameJulie]

Hey OP, sorry to hear about your situation. I hope you will find a strong support system there. We also have some students who repeated OMS-1 and 2, and many of us who survived try our best to cheer for them. It's not an easy time, and it could happen to any of us. You've got this!

 

[hallowmann]

Okay here's an update:

Meeting to decide my fate is like a week from today.

I've gone like two whole weeks without crying ( or at least 1 week, not keeping tally here this is just my memory).

So, my best friend's cousin graduated from my program this year. She also took an extra year to graduate, and from what I can tell ( like the fact that when she saw me on campus she didn't say anything about being a year behind), it was for an academic reason. I ended up seeing her at a small outdoor family friend gathering, and I kinda gently asked about the match ( She said she matched back in her home state and can live w her parents, and I said oo what specielty! and she answered it's a one year position, which makes me think it's a dead-end prelim/ transitional year. I'm going to frow up.) I was hoping she matched decently and it could give me hope. Welp.

Don't worry about it. You know nothing about that person's situation. Plus, they got into a program that can get them a license in 30+ states.

In any case, it's meaningless. For all you know she was a year late and failed boards. You really can't honestly compare yourself to others. There's too many variables to have an accurate comparison.

 

[mwsapphire]

Hi everyone,
My student progress meeting is tomorrow. I have DMd this question, but I wanted to post here:
Would it make sense to bring up struggling with anxiety this past yr, and persuing Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for it? Or would that be seen as a "weakness." ( Like, a reason to just dismiss me)

 

[IMGASMD]

I would not go into the specifics. I would talk “around” it, but would not address it head on.

If there are “events” that you can hang your hat on, I would use some of those. Don’t think of them as excuses, more like contributing factors. Ex: family got sick, close friends got covid, people were scared and tried to have you helping them with their medical problems. Don’t make stuff up, but all these are real scary scenarios that may have contributed to your unsuccessful completion of your first year.

These meetings are not the places to address specifics or even to get you through difficult times. Perhaps in a smaller settings; however, if you have more than 3 in the audience, to me, it’s already too much of a crowd to address the nitty gritty. They are NOT your friends, nor really there to help you.

Good luck. It shouldn’t be “horrible”. Most at least get a second chance.

 

[calivianya]

Hi everyone,
My student progress meeting is tomorrow. I have DMd this question, but I wanted to post here:
Would it make sense to bring up struggling with anxiety this past yr, and persuing Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for it? Or would that be seen as a "weakness." ( Like, a reason to just dismiss me)

Normally I would say not to - but in your case, I would consider including it if they press you on how you are going to do things differently this year, should they let you continue.

I’d talk about how you’ve got better study routines now and have a better grasp on what you need to do, and if they continue to ask beyond that, say something like I am also starting CBT so I will be in a better head space this upcoming year and will be more prepared to handle the stress of medical school. I wouldn’t get more detailed than that.

 

[mwsapphire]

I would not go into the specifics. I would talk “around” it, but would not address it head on.

If there are “events” that you can hang your hat on, I would use some of those. Don’t think of them as excuses, more like contributing factors. Ex: family got sick, close friends got covid, people were scared and tried to have you helping them with their medical problems. Don’t make stuff up, but all these are real scary scenarios that may have contributed to your unsuccessful completion of your first year.

These meetings are not the places to address specifics or even to get you through difficult times. Perhaps in a smaller settings; however, if you have more than 3 in the audience, to me, it’s already too much of a crowd to address the nitty gritty. They are NOT your friends, nor really there to help you.

Good luck. It shouldn’t be “horrible”. Most at least get a second chance.

I mean, I really do think the main contributing factor to my issues this year was anxiety. Can I just skirt around it with " Get more agressive help for anxiety, including cognitive behavior therapy" and wrap it like that?

Bc it seems like other ppl who failed a yr bc of anxiety or mental health issues, adressing how you will fix that helps you if that really was the main issue. It almost feels like bluffing to leave it out.

edit: My main issue was my study plan would be going smoothly, and then fall apart towards the end of the block. I kind of alluded to this in the last meeting, the one where I was on " warning." I would just quickly say CBT can help me better manage my thoughts and avoid the end-of-block panic.

 

[sunshinefl]

Hi everyone,
My student progress meeting is tomorrow. I have DMd this question, but I wanted to post here:
Would it make sense to bring up struggling with anxiety this past yr, and persuing Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for it? Or would that be seen as a "weakness." ( Like, a reason to just dismiss me)

ONLY if it’s your last ditch effort for an exception because you’re at risk for dismissal. NOT if you’re just a regular, within policy, repeat year.

Is this meeting to decide if you can repeat? Or just to come up with a plan of action for success during repeat year?

 

[calvinhobbes]

No don’t mention anxiety. Just mention you had a hard time adjusting Bc u have a lot of family stuff going on, etc. don’t give them a reason to make you see a psychiatrist etc, although they can off r a therapist and u should def accept that. But don’t mention things that may make them put you on their “troubled” list. Either way they will watch u like a hawk the following year but don’t give them any more info than they need, just be apologetic and acknowledge u can do better and have a plan. Again, nothing wrong with having anxiety, but if you tell them that, some members may label you as “that psych” kid , and unfortunately , you really need less complications from them at this point

 

[IMGASMD]

I mean, I really do think the main contributing factor to my issues this year was anxiety. Can I just skirt around it with " Get more agressive help for anxiety, including cognitive behavior therapy" and wrap it like that?

Bc it seems like other ppl who failed a yr bc of anxiety or mental health issues, adressing how you will fix that helps you if that really was the main issue. It almost feels like bluffing to leave it out.

edit: My main issue was my study plan would be going smoothly, and then fall apart towards the end of the block. I kind of alluded to this in the last meeting, the one where I was on " warning." I would just quickly say CBT can help me better manage my thoughts and avoid the end-of-block panic.

It’s ultimately up to you how much you want to disclose. If you don’t know, one of the hot topics on sdn is always how to disclose “mental or psychiatric” diagnosis. I am certainly in the camp of the less is more. Medicine is still a very conservative and institutionalized field. Some people are more rigid than others.

That being said, if you’ve done CBT and it helped. It’s better than “I think it will help”. Or if you’ve tried it and you’re in therapy. you can say it helped you concentrate more or even planned better.

If you’re not there, formally diagnosed or starting therapy. I wouldn’t use the word “anxiety” in the discussion. I may say something like, difficulty concentrating or making plans and too proud to seek help.

Make sure you know your audience, they’re there to hear you “can” make it in four years. They don’t want hear you “think you can” make it. Concrete steps is always better than possible helpful plans.

Good luck.

Edit: I saw @Goro was here, i hope you’ve sought his counsel.

 

[mwsapphire]

Just had my committee meeting, now I have to wait a whole week to see if I'm dismissed or allowed to repeat. It's in God's hands now

 

[DrZoidbergDO]

Just had my committee meeting, now I have to wait a whole week to see if I'm dismissed or allowed to repeat. It's in God's hands now

Inshallah you'll be fine

 

[calvinhobbes]

Read this:
(Regarding why you shouldn’t be “honest” about your anxiety”

hope your meeting went well today and good luck. Keep us posted, we are rooting for you.

The Mental Health Toll of Not Matching

Reports of suicides and unprecedented social media dialogue have turned a spotlight on the issue

www.medpagetoday.com

 

[brockhamptonfanacct]

Hi OP -- I'm not a med student but a premed, and you asked about those who have been in a similar situation to you. I also have desi parents, failed a course in a BA/MD program, and ultimately withdrew from the program. It was the darkest time of my life, and my parents were exactly like yours.

Please do whatever you need to in order to avoid internalizing their disappointment as a reflection of who you are. I know your parents probably worked incredibly hard to get where they are today, they talk about how difficult it was being an immigrant, they're baffled by how you could do so poorly when "you've always been so smart and we've raised you better than this." Your parents, even if they are not trying to hurt you, will not understand what happened and how many hours of hard work you have put in. They also will not understand why the way they speak to you hurts you and demoralizes you. So there is no sense in even trying to debate them, and even less in internalizing what they say as a testament to your character.

Please know that you are not alone, not in facing academic struggles in medical school as other commenters have said, nor in disappointing your desi parents and hearing about it every minute since then. I'm rooting for you and sending you love and care while you wait for your decision.

Will say Ayatul-Kursi tonight for your decision. iA everything works out okay ❤️

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Idk, I asked what specielty and she seemed to dodge the question. I didn't want to press her, but if it were a rotation intern year before starting, say, rads or anestheisa, I feel like she would have said that. I obviously didn't want to make her uncomfy, lol.

My friend might mention something with time, but for now it seems like a dead end position. Welpitty welp.

You also don’t know how she applied. Totally possible she overestimated her competitiveness and applied above where she should have been. That happens every year to people who don’t repeat a year.

 

[mwsapphire]

Hi everyone,

Thank you so much for the kind replies. I have a lot of messages to reply to,lol, but I've been approved to repeat the year. It actually got approved within 24 hours, but I had a lot of paperwork to handle, a Muslim holiday, as well as just getting over the emotional roller coaster before posting on here. They made it seem like it would take days, but maybe they just already felt I should be allowed to repeat, considering the panny year and how close I was to being succesful. ( Did not mention this in my meeting! Those facts are already in front of them lol).

I just got the email welcoming me to the class of 2025, mentioning I have to do orientation again, etc. I haven't signed a lease on a place yet so now I'm a little frazzled with having to be in the area earlier for orientation but we'll figure it out.

At least I'm not dismissed. I'm hoping I can still match Meds/Peds.

 

[brockhamptonfanacct]

Hi everyone,

Thank you so much for the kind replies. I have a lot of messages to reply to,lol, but I've been approved to repeat the year. It actually got approved within 24 hours, but I had a lot of paperwork to handle, a Muslim holiday, as well as just getting over the emotional roller coaster before posting on here. They made it seem like it would take days, but maybe they just already felt I should be allowed to repeat, considering the panny year and how close I was to being succesful. ( Did not mention this in my meeting! Those facts are already in front of them lol).

I just got the email welcoming me to the class of 2025, mentioning I have to do orientation again, etc. I haven't signed a lease on a place yet so now I'm a little frazzled with having to be in the area earlier for orientation but we'll figure it out.

At least I'm not dismissed. I'm hoping I can still match Meds/Peds.

What an Eid gift!! I'm so happy for you and may your journey be easier from here on out!

 

[DrZoidbergDO]

What an Eid gift!! I'm so happy for you and may your journey be easier from here on out!

-50k in eidi!

 

[Stranger00120]

Hi everyone,

Thank you so much for the kind replies. I have a lot of messages to reply to,lol, but I've been approved to repeat the year. It actually got approved within 24 hours, but I had a lot of paperwork to handle, a Muslim holiday, as well as just getting over the emotional roller coaster before posting on here. They made it seem like it would take days, but maybe they just already felt I should be allowed to repeat, considering the panny year and how close I was to being succesful. ( Did not mention this in my meeting! Those facts are already in front of them lol).

I just got the email welcoming me to the class of 2025, mentioning I have to do orientation again, etc. I haven't signed a lease on a place yet so now I'm a little frazzled with having to be in the area earlier for orientation but we'll figure it out.

At least I'm not dismissed. I'm hoping I can still match Meds/Peds.

I’m so happy for you! Best of luck with finding a place.

 

[Goro]

Hi everyone,

Thank you so much for the kind replies. I have a lot of messages to reply to,lol, but I've been approved to repeat the year. It actually got approved within 24 hours, but I had a lot of paperwork to handle, a Muslim holiday, as well as just getting over the emotional roller coaster before posting on here. They made it seem like it would take days, but maybe they just already felt I should be allowed to repeat, considering the panny year and how close I was to being succesful. ( Did not mention this in my meeting! Those facts are already in front of them lol).

I just got the email welcoming me to the class of 2025, mentioning I have to do orientation again, etc. I haven't signed a lease on a place yet so now I'm a little frazzled with having to be in the area earlier for orientation but we'll figure it out.

At least I'm not dismissed. I'm hoping I can still match Meds/Peds.

So glad to hear this! Good luck, Sapphire!!!!

 

[Select All That Apply]

@mwsapphire Interested on seeing the gains in a year from deep, challenging therapy whether it's cognitive behavioral, dialectical behavioral, eclectic, or esoteric. From my limited understanding, it's less important about following a modality of therapy over finding a competent therapist who you respect, can develop mutual understanding, and engage in a dynamic where they can challenge you to make actual changes. I enjoyed taking a read out of Between Therapist and Client by Michael Kahn as a starting point even though I do not personally endorse nor practice psychanalysis or psychotherapy. It's a book you could probably digest in a week, if not a day and offers an interesting point of introspection while you're grasping in the void to find a therapist.

 

[mwsapphire]

Hi everyone, I just wanted to pop in and say I'm still alive.
I'm halfway through my repeat year. I haven't really made any new friends or adjusted to my new class, but I passed the fall sem comfortably.
It didn't get any easier??? But I'm still here.

 

[Osteosaur]

Glad to see you're doing well. You're passing and moving on and that's all you can ask for

I'm an M4 and I barely have any friends in my class. I am not at all bothered by this. You don't need medical school friends as much as it feels like high school again.

 

[mwsapphire]

Glad to see you're doing well. You're passing and moving on and that's all you can ask for

I'm an M4 and I barely have any friends in my class. I am not at all bothered by this. You don't need medical school friends as much as it feels like high school again.

That's true. But I think it's the fact that I socially adjusted so quickly last time and I was so happy, and the contrast just...feels a bit like being stabbed. I think I was lonely most of my schooling years so I was so happy that finally wasn't the case...and ...ya.

 

[calivianya]

That's true. But I think it's the fact that I socially adjusted so quickly last time and I was so happy, and the contrast just...feels a bit like being stabbed. I think I was lonely most of my schooling years so I was so happy that finally wasn't the case...and ...ya.

I met the best people in my class through extracurriculars.

Obviously, you need to focus on you and your studying, but if you get in the groove, are doing well, and find you have a piece of free time here or there, do some volunteering that you’re actually interested in if you guys are back to doing volunteering yet. If you’re really interested in XYZ topic, maybe other people who are volunteering are really interested instead of just checking a box for residency, and bam - connections with people you have something in common with.

My good friends in med school came from teaching CPR, the anatomy fellowship we volunteered for, and the MPH degree I got concurrently. So far I’ve kept absolutely zero of the “friendships” that came from sitting with each other in class or studying together.

 

[DrZoidbergDO]

Hi everyone, I just wanted to pop in and say I'm still alive.
I'm halfway through my repeat year. I haven't really made any new friends or adjusted to my new class, but I passed the fall sem comfortably.
It didn't get any easier??? But I'm still here.

Alhamdulillah that's amazing to hear!

 

[IMGASMD]

Hi everyone, I just wanted to pop in and say I'm still alive.
I'm halfway through my repeat year. I haven't really made any new friends or adjusted to my new class, but I passed the fall sem comfortably.
It didn't get any easier??? But I'm still here.

Hang in there, good job kiddo.

Hopefully you can keep some people from your previous class to be there with you. Make some friends when you can. But you also need to just focus on studying and make it through.

Rooting for you.

 

[TruthInMedEd]

I have seen dozens of students have to repeat over the years and go on to wonderful careers. Step 1 is to own the failure because you will never be able to brush it under the carpet. You will potentially be asked about it by state boards, hospital credentialing, insurance companies, on and on. it happened so own it. Step 2 is to learn from it. Make sure you understand what happened to get you in this situation and put in a concerted effort to change that moving forward. Personal growth from a set back will help define your character and show others that you can overcome adversity. The final step is to worry about no one else's opinion of your situation. You will undoubtedly come across people the rest of your life that will judge you for it if they find out, but realize their opinion of you doesn't matter. If a program director refuses your application because of this, is that a person you really wanted to work under anyway. You can and will get through this!

 

[BTR41]

As someone who was definitely bullied and was an outcast my M1 year. I can related to feeling alone. My advice would be to reach out to people outside of medical school. If it won’t affect your grades adversely. I have about 8-10 friends outside of medical school in the town I live in and honestly it has made a huge difference. Especially in my mental health and comparing myself to others. I had some mental health problems last year but have had hardly any mental health problems this year since I have surrounded myself with people who actually care about me.
I found a community of faith and play on several inter-mural sports teams and that has made a huge difference for me. Find a hobby or something you love doing and try to meet people through that. Also being in my spring M2 year, I am realizing that most of the cliqueness and exclusivity in my class this year will not be a part of my life next year. I can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know clinicals won’t be easy but I will actually be able to interact with patients which is exciting. Good luck and you are doing an amazing job!

 

[mwsapphire]

That's true. But I think it's the fact that I socially adjusted so quickly last time and I was so happy, and the contrast just...feels a bit like being stabbed. I think I was lonely most of my schooling years so I was so happy that finally wasn't the case...and ...ya.

Big sappy story incoming. read if you'd like. I know it's dramatic but just realize this is one of those things where you need to take my word for things unless you want me to describe my 24 years on earth.

I think the reason this whole thing is so hard for me ( yes this thread is my diary thank you very much) is a lot of my life I...have always struggled with feeling alone? Like throughout most of K-12 I felt isolated in some way, I have had way more friendships than normal shift because of moving, and a lot fo my friends growing up never went to school with me. So I always did school alone. Always. I think when I got to med school and was really adjusted in my old class and so excited to finally have that lonely feeling go away and was just met with....the most isolating experience of my life was a huge slap. ( no matter how supportive people are, repeating is isolating. Always will be.)

Like, it adds to this idea I have that things will always get ****ed for me somehow. Like at this point my life just feels like one long series of emotional taxes and I'm always waiting for the next one. Like it's not that so many people are lonely in med school and I should be thanfkul, it's just that I was so happy last year, and it's hard for me to understand why I can't just stay happy? Like instead something just had to happen? Like instead of continuing to experience school with my little friend group and feeling happy and content I just??Needed to be traumatized? Like this is part of why I have anxiety, there really is something always waiting for me. The whole experience of failing courses last year, coming in front of the committee, was all so dehumanizing that I honestly feel like it permanently scarred me.

Like when that feeling of isolation came back this year, I really thought, " It's back." Like it always beats me to the finish line somehow?

Even all the other circumstances of this. That I never made friends in my new class, that my friends from last year and I have had a really hard time seeing each other in person/ hanging out together. ( They all commmuters and in theory we were supposed to see each other outside of school as a group freuqnelty, but that hasn't really worked, like at all, not as in they are hanging out w/o me. It's just worse for me bc I also don't see them in school). Not adjusting to me new class, and feeling isolated in it. Almost every repeated I spoke to said they felt the same in their new class and their old class. Like even that didn't work out for me. Like all of these circumstances together, just describe my entire life so well I'm starting to realize I should have seen something like this coming.

Like when I first told the doc I used to work with about being separated from my frens he said " Let it go ( he meant well, he meant let the feeling go)." And like...( he did't know this) but people have said that to me my whole life. LIke I'm starting to realize anything that makes me feel content and stable needs to get ****ed somehow? It's the only reliable pattern in my life? LIke??? What????

Nobody on this thread could have known this, I'm not faulting all you for not knowing, I'm just realizing there's not enough context here to understand why this is crushing me. I'm scared to do anything else now, like, what's the next tax to pay? Also while I could tell my friends all this, I don't want to.

 

[Goro]

Big sappy story incoming. read if you'd like. I know it's dramatic but just realize this is one of those things where you need to take my word for things unless you want me to describe my 24 years on earth.

I think the reason this whole thing is so hard for me ( yes this thread is my diary thank you very much) is a lot of my life I...have always struggled with feeling alone? Like throughout most of K-12 I felt isolated in some way, I have had way more friendships than normal shift because of moving, and a lot fo my friends growing up never went to school with me. So I always did school alone. Always. I think when I got to med school and was really adjusted in my old class and so excited to finally have that lonely feeling go away and was just met with....the most isolating experience of my life was a huge slap. ( no matter how supportive people are, repeating is isolating. Always will be.)

Like, it adds to this idea I have that things will always get ****ed for me somehow. Like at this point my life just feels like one long series of emotional taxes and I'm always waiting for the next one. Like it's not that so many people are lonely in med school and I should be thanfkul, it's just that I was so happy last year, and it's hard for me to understand why I can't just stay happy? Like instead something just had to happen? Like instead of continuing to experience school with my little friend group and feeling happy and content I just??Needed to be traumatized? Like this is part of why I have anxiety, there really is something always waiting for me. The whole experience of failing courses last year, coming in front of the committee, was all so dehumanizing that I honestly feel like it permanently scarred me.

Like when that feeling of isolation came back this year, I really thought, " It's back." Like it always beats me to the finish line somehow?

Even all the other circumstances of this. That I never made friends in my new class, that my friends from last year and I have had a really hard time seeing each other in person/ hanging out together. ( They all commmuters and in theory we were supposed to see each other outside of school as a group freuqnelty, but that hasn't really worked, like at all, not as in they are hanging out w/o me. It's just worse for me bc I also don't see them in school). Not adjusting to me new class, and feeling isolated in it. Almost every repeated I spoke to said they felt the same in their new class and their old class. Like even that didn't work out for me. Like all of these circumstances together, just describe my entire life so well I'm starting to realize I should have seen something like this coming.

Like when I first told the doc I used to work with about being separated from my frens he said " Let it go ( he meant well, he meant let the feeling go)." And like...( he did't know this) but people have said that to me my whole life. LIke I'm starting to realize anything that makes me feel content and stable needs to get ****ed somehow? It's the only reliable pattern in my life? LIke??? What????

Nobody on this thread could have known this, I'm not faulting all you for not knowing, I'm just realizing there's not enough context here to understand why this is crushing me. I'm scared to do anything else now, like, what's the next tax to pay? Also while I could tell my friends all this, I don't want to.

Therapy is a good thing, y'know.

 

[mwsapphire]

Therapy is a good thing, y'know.

...I know.

 

[mwsapphire]

Therapy is a good thing, y'know.

Part of why Im hesistant to tell my friends these thoughts is bc they feel more " therapist" level than " friend" level. Even though they all wanna know what's going on inside my head? Would it be strange to tell a friend this or would they secretely be thinking " Geez why doesn't she tell this to a therapist."

Im asking.Like I don't want to be " that friend"- but I think when ppl say that they more mean a friend who trauma dumps and expects the friend act as a therapist, rather than just listen. Also, people seem to imply its only irritating to do that if you aren't listening to their problems , and I am the therapy friend. I think being unhappy as a kid forced me to emotionally mature faster so I'm the "therapy friend." Maybe I will share these thoughts

 

[Goro]

You're carrying a lot on your plate, it helps to talk to friends. But really stop being a non-adherent patient. You're going to have plenty of those as a clinician. Get some help now