Having a family while in medical school.

[Roxas]

I have to say, mad props to all you people with 4+ kids that are making life work in medicine. I'm just at 3 and it's nearly killing me (and subsequently my children)

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[deleted1079620]

I have to say, mad props to all you people with 4+ kids that are making life work in medicine. I'm just at 3 and it's nearly killing me (and subsequently my children)

How old are they? I couldn't have done this when my kids were younger, but now that they're older/more independent it's just a matter of managing them rather than physically doing things for them.

 

[Roxas]

How old are they? I couldn't have done this when my kids were younger, but now that they're older/more independent it's just a matter of managing them rather than physically doing things for them.

My oldest was born 2 weeks after med school started haha. They are 6, 3, and 1

 

[deleted1079620]

My oldest was born 2 weeks after med school started haha. They are 6, 3, and 1

It gets better...hang in there! Life changes dramatically when you don’t have to do literally everything for them.

 

[8YearsLate]

We couldn’t apply until we had a lease signed and our names on something with the address we were moving to. Probably varies by state and tbh who you happen to talk to. I know we’ve had to jump through lots of hoops because it seems like half the people don’t get that student loans are not income. I’ve even been straight up denied and had to appeal the decision.

Yeah my state factors student aid into the eligibility calculation. Actually while I was getting grants and scholarship I never qualified for SNAP. I remember being told by the EBT worker, "You could drop hours at school or drop hours at work and be approved." If that's not proof the system is flawed, I don't know what is. Anyway, thanks for the answer!

 

[Ho0v-man]

Yeah my state factors student aid into the eligibility calculation. Actually while I was getting grants and scholarship I never qualified for SNAP. I remember being told by the EBT worker, "You could drop hours at school or drop hours at work and be approved." If that's not proof the system is flawed, I don't know what is. Anyway, thanks for the answer!

Student loans are legally not income. That’s not a state thing. I’d ask to talk to someone else.

 

[Cornfed101]

Yeah my state factors student aid into the eligibility calculation. Actually while I was getting grants and scholarship I never qualified for SNAP. I remember being told by the EBT worker, "You could drop hours at school or drop hours at work and be approved." If that's not proof the system is flawed, I don't know what is. Anyway, thanks for the answer!

Grants and scholarships ARE income, but loans are not

 

[skeek16]

Dude feel free to message me. I am married, a couple kids, and just about to finish my first year. I’m pretty sure I was literally on SDN last year asking these same exact questions and stressing SO hard about “how tf are we going to do this”. I’m more than willing to explain what we are doing in order to ease any concerns you may have. Although we have “lucked out” with a few things, I now firmly believe you can control SO much of your situation to the point where you can have enough money to pay babysitters on a semi-regular basis (e.g., when exam day lands on Friday) and go out for drinks with the honey (or whatever floats your boat. I only say this since there’s like a 44% chance you’re mormon). You’ll make it happen, captain. Just prepare yourself for the most enjoyable hell you’ve ever experienced.

Hey, if you happen to see this would you direct message me? My husband is about to start med school this august, we have three kids, and are beyond stressed out.

 

[DOVinciRobot]

Hey, if you happen to see this would you direct message me? My husband is about to start med school this august, we have three kids, and are beyond stressed out.

We just had our last kid and I’m in surgery residency. Also had a baby in med school and started school with multiple kids.

Everything will be ok

 

[NotAProgDirector]

The often bottom line in threads like this is that students/residents without kids can't imagine trying to do so with a child, and those with kids can't imagine trying to do so without kids.

 

[WildWing]

Another thing - watch an episode or two of "Old Enough" on Netflix. While I don't recommend sending your three-year-old out to run errands as they do on the show unless you live in Japan, young children are VASTLY more competent than modern parents in the US give them credit for. Let them help you wherever you can!

 

[Proudfather94]

Hey, if you happen to see this would you direct message me? My husband is about to start med school this august, we have three kids, and are beyond stressed out.

I have a kid and am a first year and have a few pieces of advice here. He's going to need alot of support from you, so be ready for that. If he is a competitive person it will be hard to be at the top of his class unless he doesn't sleep or is super smart. If he goes in knowing that he'll be less stressed.

 

[Calizboosted76]

So I didn't read all the responses so mine may be exactly the same as someone else's but here it is:

My kid is 3 years old and I will say it is tough in terms of not spending as much time as you want with them during school. However it is also a blessing because it can push you to say organized and on top of your school work so that way you have MORE time to spend with them.

Some tips I have are:
- Make sure you allocate at least an hour a day to play with your kids even if that is right before bed and you read them a story.
- Try to take one weekend day off for a family day (not always possible but it will help)
- Prepare your spouse/SO (if you have one) for what they are about to endure. It is a-lot of long days and nights where you're not always able to help with the day to day. I think having a mentally strong spouse through this time really helps. (With that being said, make sure you take an hour or two a day and sit on the couch and talk to your spouse. Again, sometimes its only 15-20 minutes but really try to make them feel included along this journey and that they aren't alone raising kids by themselves)
- Just breath, doing this with kids does make it harder but it is very possible to be in the top of your class, do research, and still have a family life.


Good luck.

 

[DrAmeliaEarhart]

This thread was so comforting to read. I'm about to start med school this summer with 4 kids, ages 2-10, and a super supportive husband. Luckily he'll continue to work remote, but I definitely stress about the day to day things getting done and my kids hating me being gone so much. Everyone's suggestions and kind words to each other were so helpful.

 

[Monster-Mormon]

I'm a third year med student at a midwest DO program. My wife and I met in college and had our first daughter in late senior year. Started medical school with a colicky infant (during early covid). It was a tough time, but we made it through financially with my wife working from home, which then converted to a totally work-from-home position. Only took out loans for tuition. We did that until about 4 months ago when we had our second daughter. Definitely took out more loans, but they've covered our expenses thus far. It's one hundred percent worth it. Every day after rotations I come home to my two kiddos and have a blast. Planning fourth-year away rotations has me sad because I've never been away from my daughters, and now I'm planning entire months away.