More negativity.
Typically you make acquaintance with someone before they can become a friend. You know, like a stepwise progression. The things I suggested were ways to create acquaintances, have a friend group, which could lend itself to having more in depth conversations, which are how friends are made.
My list were things I did that put me into contact with med students (getting time with which is like getting time with a unicorn sometimes), that contact that leads to "hanging out," leads to opportunities, like studying along together in a room, and then breaks together over coffee leads to chances to discuss personal stuff, like "why medicine?" "Growing up my dad was sick with ____." "Oh yeah? My mom had X problems." "Right now is sorta hard cuz _____" whatever.
A lot of our curriculum included a lot of humanities/social determinants of health, etc, and this gave people chances to share personal stuff in small group (careful) and could lead to REAL friendships when you discovered personal stuff about each other. "hey, I heard you talk about ____. I've had similar experiences, just wanted to say thank you for sharing that. I'd love to grab coffee and get to know you more."
If you got involved in rape advocacy on campus, you might meet someone else who was involved with that. Maybe you both have that in common on a personal level. Maybe you get involved in a group for whatever ethinicity and you can bond over similiar experiences.
If you meet people with similiar specialty interest that can affect third year tracks for rotations, and if you have a wide cirlce of acquaintances those people you could be on the same track and have similar attendings, didactics, which lends itself to conversations about the experience you're sharing and its struggles.
I volunteered for a group project on a topic, and my classmate invited me to a local bar that was conducive to studying and we worked on it and had a beer. I learned that my classmate had interest in that topic because we both had family experiences that overlapped. We talked about our views on the topic. We hung out again. We kept hanging out, getting to know each other, talking, met some of each other's friends/acquaintances so we had even more in common to talk about. Watched movies together, made dinner together. This person is now who I call my best friend from med school and now it's been years. We talk on the phone weekly and have shared residency struggles, SO struggles, we're there for each other to talk. We've spent vacations visiting each other! (usually one of us was on a light duty with work). We even shared each other's Amion info so it was easier to coordinate having chats after work.
Another close friend I made was in the context of a mixer for the different years. They were a year behind, and this allowed me to be a mentor for them and we could bond over the shared experiences. When I got out of clinic I would come over and tell them what my day was like, get things off my chest, which was interesting to them as it was their near future. They could share with me their struggles being a year behind and I could relate to it. We would have dinner together and talk about our families. Got into some really deep stuff.
Another close friend was just someone who hung around the same library, we found a room to study in. Breaks ended up being the time that we got to know each other's life story and became best friends.
It's true some of the people I was closest with in med school, sometimes we would only get a chance for ourselves once a week. Some friends we'd have to get our damn day planners out and make an apointment! Some rotations you might not talk for a month! You need friends, and to be friends, with peole who understand, and can be the sort of friend you don't talk to for a week / month and still pick up where you left off. I had a friend we didn't talk for 3 months 4th year because both of us were away for like 6 months of the year!
Maybe you just have a hard time learning how to bond with people or open up or connect on a deeper level. Usually that will center around shared feelings, hardships or life experiences. Studies have shown that the act of sharing secrets or gossiping serves to help people form bonds and feel closer to one another. This is one reason why developing a friend or acquaintance group helps.
My suggestions were because people find themselves very busy and have a hard time figuring out how to break the ice and get those chances to form acquaintances, and then chances to bond more closely.
It's true the earlier you do some like this the better your chances of "finding your people,", developing a group, and that leading to deeper friednships.
It can be hard, especially with people from the area, with SOs. It is true most people don't have a lot of time, but it's also true med school is lonely, so dont' underestimate how many people are lonely and do want a friend. You just have to put in more effort and accept that you can have real friendships that might not be a daily thing.
I lived close to campus and it made it easier to invite people over, a lot of us did and we could walk after class to have a little time together. or dinnner or lunch.
