Help-I matched where I don't want to go

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TraumaHamster

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Dear WingedScapula or other wise/experienced someone:

I matched way up north into Categorical General Surgery. I matched into my last ranked program -- the one I though I shouldn't even put down. And now I don't want to go there ---- to the point of waitressing next year to pay out the loans if I have to.
I live in flordia for last 16 years. Ranked worse florida programs ahead of the one I matched into --- just to increase my chances of staying in florida. Not afraid of working hard --- just don't want to move that far away from my parents and the sunshine.
I don't know what to do now. Looked at PGY1 positions available on FindAResident -- and there is only one in pathology somewhere in midwest. I am complitely devastated and see no way out.
Please help. What are my options? (besides doing what I don't want to do).:cry::cry::cry:

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Where did you match?
 
It looks like you are pretty much determined not to go the the program, so I would not waste time trying to change your mind.

There are literally hundreds of people who would love to have your spot. I suggest you contact the program ASAP so that they can start to look for a new intern right away.
 
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I thought we weren't allowed access to FindAResident if we matched.
 
I am sorry, all that I have to say is that if you did not want to go there, you should not have listed it.

I have failed to match in surgery for the third freaking time (despite good board scores, good letters of rec and now finishing up a second prelim year). I would LOVE to match ANYWHERE!!!

If you truely have your heart set on not going there, contact the program director and tell him/her that. There are more out there like you so a few programs will come open in the next few weeks. Do the rest of us poor souls a favor and open up your spot and you should be able to slip into one...even if it is a prelim spot.

My $0.02 worth
 
Sorry - I appear to be one of "those". I guess I should be thankful - don't mean to be an ingrate.

Sorry to hear of your difficulties. I wish you the best.:oops:
 
Nothing to add, but love the name TraumaHamster!
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Unfortunately, you've tasked us with something impossible as your options are pretty limited at this point. It bears repeating, if not for you, for someone else: do not rank programs that you would not consider being at because you risk matching there.

Now you are faced with breaking your NRMP contract, being found in violation of the match and eliminating the possibility of participating in the match for another position next year.

All states require at least 1 year of GME to award a full and unrestricted license so your options for working as a physician without at least an intern year are nil. Surgery has gotten rather competitive and although there will be some attrition this year (with spots usually opening up around August and December), you cannot count on a position opening up near home in Florida and you may end up someplace even worse than your imagined hell in the NE. With increasing numbers of wannabe categoricals slaving away in Prelim spots, there will be more competition for any position which does arise.

If waitressing actually sounds better than doing a residency in the NE, I don't think there is much I can tell you that will solve things for you. You have made a commitment to attend wherever you matched and by breaking it, your options are limited to non medical work like waitressing or to find a position outside of the match.

I'd suggest you are experiencing buyer's remorse and to sleep on it. You may actually find that this bottom ranked program provides you with an excellent education, a new adventure in a part of the country you've never experienced and some wonderful friends and colleagues. No one is asking you to leave Florida forever nor to never visit home. 5 years is a short time in the grand scheme of things and if it means living your dream of becoming a surgeon is to move to the NE, then so be it.

You have to accept that if you give up this position, you may never find a residency position, in surgery or other fields, in Florida.

I'm sorry...I wish I had some options for you, but they are limited to:

- suck it up and go to the NE and learn how to be a surgeon
- suck it up and go to the NE and quit; hopefully finding another position elsewhere
- quit now and take your chances on finding something else
 
Unfortunately, you've tasked us with something impossible as your options are pretty limited at this point. It bears repeating, if not for you, for someone else: do not rank programs that you would not consider being at because you risk matching there.

Now you are faced with breaking your NRMP contract, being found in violation of the match and eliminating the possibility of participating in the match for another position next year.

All states require at least 1 year of GME to award a full and unrestricted license so your options for working as a physician without at least an intern year are nil. Surgery has gotten rather competitive and although there will be some attrition this year (with spots usually opening up around August and December), you cannot count on a position opening up near home in Florida and you may end up someplace even worse than your imagined hell in the NE. With increasing numbers of wannabe categoricals slaving away in Prelim spots, there will be more competition for any position which does arise.

If waitressing actually sounds better than doing a residency in the NE, I don't think there is much I can tell you that will solve things for you. You have made a commitment to attend wherever you matched and by breaking it, your options are limited to non medical work like waitressing or to find a position outside of the match.

I'd suggest you are experiencing buyer's remorse and to sleep on it. You may actually find that this bottom ranked program provides you with an excellent education, a new adventure in a part of the country you've never experienced and some wonderful friends and colleagues. No one is asking you to leave Florida forever nor to never visit home. 5 years is a short time in the grand scheme of things and if it means living your dream of becoming a surgeon is to move to the NE, then so be it.

You have to accept that if you give up this position, you may never find a residency position, in surgery or other fields, in Florida.

I'm sorry...I wish I had some options for you, but they are limited to:

- suck it up and go to the NE and learn how to be a surgeon
- suck it up and go to the NE and quit; hopefully finding another position elsewhere
- quit now and take your chances on finding something else

The above is excellent advice. My advice too you. Go and do the program!! If you do, there is much better chance that you will be able to find another place to go to as there are many open PGY2+3 positions every year from people changing jobs. You never know what may happen. You may actually like it after awhile. The ability for humans to adapt is amazing. If you break your contract with your program. you may NEVER be able to match into another program again depending on the disciplinary action you will receive from the NRMP and GME.
 
seriously, you need to think about your priorities. If you break your NRMP contract, there is a good chance you will not be able to find another position this year OR any other. You just went through medical school. Do you seriously want to throw away your future medical career because you don't want to spend a few years somewhere you don't like the weather? :confused:
 
As a lifelong southerner who has now transplanted to northern NE, I can tell you that it's not bad. Depending which program you are coming to up here you might find it to be a great change of pace. This time of year is a drag weather wise but overall the area is beautiful and the people are friendly (unless they are Mass drivers). My patients generally appreciate what I do for them.

When it's all said and done I'll be spending 6 years here. As previously mentioned, it's only a finite period of time and I'll have great options to head back South when I finish. Consider it a new adventure and give it a shot.

I'd be curious why you even applied to the program in the first place??? There are plently of surgery programs in the south. Anyway, doesn't change your current predicament. Just wondered if there might've been some desire for a change when you initially applied to this program.
 
I matched lower than I expected into my "safety" program, and at first felt a little disappointed, as if I had let myself and my family down. I slept on it, and today, I am very grateful to have matched into a Categorical position, and to be given the chance to fulfill my dreams. I later found out my sister matched into a categorical GS spot 1.5 hours away from me, and my boyfriend ended up in a program 20 min away. So in the end, things worked out for the best.

The grass is greener on the other side, as they say. Although it might not be obvious to you yet, you will come to realize that there are reasons why you matched where you matched. I say, go be a surgeon in the NE. Your cell phone will definitely come in handy. Coming from the warmer California weather myself, the move to the NE wasn't bad at all (just make sure you have an all-wheel drive vehicle!).
 
Dear WingedScapula or other wise/experienced someone:

I matched way up north into Categorical General Surgery. I matched into my last ranked program -- the one I though I shouldn't even put down. And now I don't want to go there ---- to the point of waitressing next year to pay out the loans if I have to.
I live in flordia for last 16 years. Ranked worse florida programs ahead of the one I matched into --- just to increase my chances of staying in florida. Not afraid of working hard --- just don't want to move that far away from my parents and the sunshine.
I don't know what to do now. Looked at PGY1 positions available on FindAResident -- and there is only one in pathology somewhere in midwest. I am complitely devastated and see no way out.
Please help. What are my options? (besides doing what I don't want to do).:cry::cry::cry:


Granted, everyone is a little different, but... it is a little hard for me to understand this. You can do anything for a year -- no matter how bad it is. I mean if you truly love surgery and have a surgeon's mindset, you will be able to plow through anything. Plus as a surgery intern, you won't be spending that much time outside anyway. Honestly, for the good part of intern year, when I got to work the sun had not risen and when I left, the sun had already set. To echo WS, I would say just suck it up and do it.
 
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Honestly, for the good part of intern year, when I got to work the sun had not risen and when I left, the sun had already set. To echo WS, I would say just suck it up and do it.

Good point. When my friends back home in California asked me how I was tolerating eastern snow and humidity, I had to respond "what snow? what humidity?' because I rarely experienced "weather" inside the hospital.

Plus I hear there is sunshine in the NE.:D
 
you'll be too busy to notice...
 
I live in flordia for last 16 years. Ranked worse florida programs ahead of the one I matched into --- just to increase my chances of staying in florida. Not afraid of working hard --- just don't want to move that far away from my parents and the sunshine.
I don't know what to do now. Looked at PGY1 positions available on FindAResident -- and there is only one in pathology somewhere in midwest. I am complitely devastated and see no way out.
Please help. What are my options? (besides doing what I don't want to do).:cry::cry::cry:

I know the high intelligence quotient of the Northeast tends to scare most non-NE'ers into thinking their brains will just get sucked out of their skulls. It's happened quite a few times, especially to those coming from sunshine-infested states like California and Florida. The doom and gloom of the Northeast (we actually have a weather storm pattern called a "Nor'easter," if that's any indication of how terrible it is up here...) will kill you.

Seriously, you have two options.

1) Continue to HONOR your OBLIGATION to the program that so graciously offered you a spot when no other program on your rank list would give you the time of day.

2) Explain to the PD of your matched program that you "had a change in heart" and couldn't possibly suck it up to train in the Northeast. Believe it or not, many PDs will just let you out without any legal ramifications. Yes, the Match is supposed to be a binding contract between you and the program to which you matched, but no one wants a resident who's gonna be a kill joy.

But be prepared to explain just what the heck you did during your year off when you reapply. Chances are, given the unfavorable results of this Match for you, I don't see how your application would improve enough to help you get the program you want.

Good luck.
 
Plus I hear there is sunshine in the NE.:D

Like today.

The sun was out and the high was near 45, but the winds whipped around at about 50 MPH and the wind chill made it feel A$$ COLD.
 
If you matched your last rank, maybe you should take the spot an be happy. Might not get anything next time.
 
we have snow on the ground in Chicago. And not just, "hey look there appears to be a light dusting..." There is SNOW.

Good thing I matched in MA where it doesnt...oh crap.
 
i'm not of anglo-saxon background. i'm from a culture that is close with their parents and relatives. as a child immigrant and an only child i'm especially close with my parents -- for emotional support, understanding, good times. Now i live with one parent in the same city, the other two hours away -driving. if i move where i move, i will be twenty hours away from my only two relatives in this country. this scares me more than anything else. the loneliness (emotional loneliness). the fact that if something happens, to me or one of them, i have to f*** through the airports or drive for that long. Anyway at this point everyone already guessed that i'm a chick/girl/female - can't wait to hear what comments will be made about that. But don't worry, i'm moving - with a fistfull of xanax - but moving....:cool:
 
wise choice. :thumbup: Get a good cell phone plan with lots of free long distance so you can talk to your family a lot, and good luck. You'll get through it.
 
I'd be curious why you even applied to the program in the first place??? There are plently of surgery programs in the south. Anyway, doesn't change your current predicament. Just wondered if there might've been some desire for a change when you initially applied to this program.



Care to comment on this???
 
Like today.

The sun was out and the high was near 45, but the winds whipped around at about 50 MPH and the wind chill made it feel A$$ COLD.

Or like today...where the sun was shining brightly, and reflecting off the snow flurries.

I HATE that - when it's sunny but snowing at the same time. Freakish.

we have snow on the ground in Chicago. And not just, "hey look there appears to be a light dusting..." There is SNOW.

I was in Boston for a tournament when I was in high school. There were schools from all over the country there - including ones from Florida. When we woke up, my teammates and I looked out the hotel window and saw flurries - no big deal. (I'm from PA, where it snows pretty much every winter.)

5 minutes later, we heard a bunch of people stampeding down the hallway and rushing outside. When we looked, there were a group of people from Florida playing in the "snow", which (obviously) most of them had never seen before. Except it wasn't snowing heavily - just a light dusting of flurries, so they were really rolling around in pavement dust, and not snow.

i'm not of anglo-saxon background. i'm from a culture that is close with their parents and relatives. as a child immigrant and an only child i'm especially close with my parents -- for emotional support, understanding, good times. Now i live with one parent in the same city, the other two hours away -driving. if i move where i move, i will be twenty hours away from my only two relatives in this country. this scares me more than anything else. the loneliness (emotional loneliness). the fact that if something happens, to me or one of them, i have to f*** through the airports or drive for that long. Anyway at this point everyone already guessed that i'm a chick/girl/female - can't wait to hear what comments will be made about that. But don't worry, i'm moving - with a fistfull of xanax - but moving....:cool:

Good luck to you. :luck:

I can understand how stressful it is to move away from your parents. I'm also a child of immigrants, and I have a very close relationship with my parents.

But my parents would rather see me move 3000 miles away for residency than break my NRMP contract and risk being blacklisted. And they would definitely rather see me move 3000 miles away for residency than see me work as a waitress after 4 years of the most stressful, most expensive schooling imaginable. I imagine that your parents would be the same way.

It IS lonely moving away from your parents - but you'll make great friendships with the other residents in your program. (And at least you're moving somewhere where you know that you'll have a job - a lot of people in other careers have to move somewhere and hope that they'll find a job there!)

And, hey, you never know - your parents might offer to move with you to the north! :laugh: (If you're Indian or Asian, you'll get the joke.)
 
i'm not of anglo-saxon background. i'm from a culture that is close with their parents and relatives. as a child immigrant and an only child i'm especially close with my parents -- for emotional support, understanding, good times.

I don't think being Anglo-Saxon and being close to your family are mutually exclusive. Nor does being an only child mean you are automatically close to your parents. Point being: your qualifiers don't matter...just say you are very close to your family (which we figured anyway).

Now i live with one parent in the same city, the other two hours away -driving. if i move where i move, i will be twenty hours away from my only two relatives in this country. this scares me more than anything else. the loneliness (emotional loneliness). the fact that if something happens, to me or one of them, i have to f*** through the airports or drive for that long.

Bear in mind that many of your new surgery colleagues will be in the same boat. I moved 3000 miles away from my family to a city where I knew a couple of people. Most of my intern classmates were also transplants. It makes for fast friends as long as you put some effort into it and not spend all your time in the hospital complaining about being in the NE.

Anyway at this point everyone already guessed that i'm a chick/girl/female - can't wait to hear what comments will be made about that. But don't worry, i'm moving - with a fistfull of xanax - but moving....:cool:

Again, I'm not sure what being female has to do with all of this. Being female and close to your family are not necessarily related. However, being a female in a surgical program who spends a lot of time being upset, acting lonely, etc. will not make things easier for you. As you probably already know, general surgery is not kind to complainers. I am sympathetic to your plight, really, but you need to understand that you'll need to come to some sort of resolution with this and be happy about it before you start.
 
I'd be curious why you even applied to the program in the first place??? There are plently of surgery programs in the south. Anyway, doesn't change your current predicament. Just wondered if there might've been some desire for a change when you initially applied to this program.

That's a very good question - it's not like there are no strong surgery programs in nearby Georgia, Louisiana, or Mississippi. You wouldn't be as far away from FL, then, and the weather would be a heck of a lot warmer. Why did you even apply to this one program that was so far away? :confused:

I'll admit it...I was slightly wistful for snow at Christmas this year. It IS gorgeous when it first falls.

...and once it's finished falling and you can go outside and have snowball fights with your classmates when people aren't looking.... :)
 
And, hey, you never know - your parents might offer to move with you to the north! :laugh: (If you're Indian or Asian, you'll get the joke.)

I'm an immigrant myself, and would consider myself having a very close relationship with my family.... but when my parents found out I wanted to mvoe to NY for med school, my parents practically packed my bags for me -- then got a really kick *** cell phone family plan! :laugh:
 
Care to comment on this???

a) applied to go and check the program out, see what kind of city it is.
b) the city turned out to be small
c) all my other programs I ranked before the one i got in were in big urban areas like Miami, etc.
d) I put a lot of safety programs ahead of this very good one (location was number one for me in the end, but big city away from florida wouldn't have been bad either -- every other program in the list was big city program).
e) not in a million years did i think i would not match in an easier to match program where everyone tells you not to go and end up in the one small city, last on my list, twenty hours away one that is harder to get into than the three ranked before it.

So to add insult to injury, it's not only far away, it's also not in a place like NYC--- where one doesn't feel lonely even when alone cause there is always something to do, even as simple as people gazing (which for some of us is a release - like golf or fishing for others).

Winged Scapula --- I'm working on my attitude as per your instructions.:cool:
 
Winged Scapula --- I'm working on my attitude as per your instructions.:cool:

I know I came off as harsh and I apologize if it upset you. But having spent my life moving from one place to another (first as the child of a miliary officer then as an adventurous adult), having a positive attitude, being outgoing and friendly can make the most of a less than ideal situation.

I wish you the best of luck - you may find small town life appealing.:)
 
I know I came off as harsh and I apologize if it upset you. But having spent my life moving from one place to another (first as the child of a miliary officer then as an adventurous adult), having a positive attitude, being outgoing and friendly can make the most of a less than ideal situation.

I wish you the best of luck - you may find small town life appealing.:)

No, I've done small town. I know what it's like. I should have never ranked the program, it's all my fault. But that's ok, i'll deal.
 
No, I've done small town. I know what it's like. I should have never ranked the program, it's all my fault. But that's ok, i'll deal.

Well, the relative advantage of a surgical residency is that you don't have much time to people watch, fish, shop, etc. anyway so you may not notice how small the town is.:D
 
b) the city turned out to be small

So to add insult to injury, it's not only far away, it's also not in a place like NYC--- where one doesn't feel lonely even when alone cause there is always something to do, even as simple as people gazing (which for some of us is a release - like golf or fishing for others).

I'm sorry about that. :(

But I'm sending you a PM that I hope will be encouraging.... :)
 
Dear WingedScapula or other wise/experienced someone:

I matched way up north into Categorical General Surgery. I matched into my last ranked program -- the one I though I shouldn't even put down. And now I don't want to go there ---- to the point of waitressing next year to pay out the loans if I have to.
I live in flordia for last 16 years. Ranked worse florida programs ahead of the one I matched into --- just to increase my chances of staying in florida. Not afraid of working hard --- just don't want to move that far away from my parents and the sunshine.
I don't know what to do now. Looked at PGY1 positions available on FindAResident -- and there is only one in pathology somewhere in midwest. I am complitely devastated and see no way out.
Please help. What are my options? (besides doing what I don't want to do).:cry::cry::cry:

I am going to say congratulations on your match because I have been on the phone with more than 20 people who haven't matched anywhere. If you hadn't put down that program, you might find yourself with no job let alone a categorical slot. As someone said in an earlier post, unless you find other reasons than you just hate the city/location, be happy that you are in a program that took enough interest in your abilities to rank you and allow you to match.

Be very wary of "everybody matched better than I did or in a better city than I did" feeling. You are moving from the comfort of your known surroundings to the unknown. There is always some trepidation at moving to new(and cold) places and meeting new people. As soon as you get the chance, find a great place to live and get your household set up and ready for the start of residency. Somehow, once you get into your home "digs" things look a bit better. (No one loves sunshine more than I do but there is something nice about curling up in front of my fireplace with the beagles on a cold night).

If you find that you are totally miserable in your program is totally miserable then consider that you can speak to your program director and get support for transferring to another program. Again, beware because the "grass isn't always greener" and you have to make the adjustments all over again. In your day to day activities as a surgical resident, the weather outside doesn't matter very much because you won't be out in it.

The other thing is that that are very few (but definitely some) programs out there that are horrible. My guess is that you are likely not in one of them but if this is the case, then do the best job that you can and prepare yourself for applying into a PGY-2 slot next year. This means acing the ABSITE and doing a great job with every task that you encounter in your PGY-1 year. As hard as this is to do, it is the key to getting good letters and getting in to a good program.

Again, I am sure that many of the very sad and depressed folks that I have spoken with would love to trade places with you. This may not be of much consolation right now but try to make the best of the challenges that lie ahead.
 
Well it sounds to me from your descriptions that you are in one of three places

1. Burlington, VT at Fletcher Allen
2. Portland, ME at Maine Medical
3. Lebanon, NH at Dartmouth


As a sounthern guy I can tell you that each of these places has some real upside. It's doable and I think a good attitude will certainly help. As mentioned many times previously, as a GS resident you aren't going to do a ton of hanging out and looking for things to do. A smaller place with a laid back pace of life might be perfect for residency. As long as you get a decent apartment and the hospital is relatively nice, those are the places where 95% of your time will be spent.
 
TraumaHamster:

It might not be such a bad thing to be away from your family for a while. There're going to be times in your career as a surgeon when there's no one to console you / give you a hug / give you a pep talk, no matter how much you need one to keep going. I'm not trying to perpetuate the machismo of being a surgeon; we all need someone's shoulder to cry on once in a while. And I'm not trying to be insulting by implying any sort of emotional weakness on your part. But instead of focusing on the negative of being separated from your family, you should try to look for some positive side to it as well. Unless you're a complete atheist, you have to believe that things happen for a reason (karma, God's will, destiny, whatever).

As for the weather - you can always put on more clothes if it gets colder; you can only take so much off when it gets hotter (without getting thrown in jail).
 
we have snow on the ground in Chicago. And not just, "hey look there appears to be a light dusting..." There is SNOW.

Good thing I matched in MA where it doesnt...oh crap.

I was in Chicago last week. I think it was Wednesday or Thursday where the day's high was 50, then around 3PM the temps dropped to the 20s, and it started snowing with a howling wind coming off Lake Michigan. :(

Yeah... I had a couple California programs ranked higher. :(
 
i'm not of anglo-saxon background. i'm from a culture that is close with their parents and relatives. as a child immigrant and an only child i'm especially close with my parents -- for emotional support, understanding, good times.

Punch-buggy. You're Asian, aren't you?

I'm sorry, but the comment implying being "Anglo-Saxon" and not being close with one's parents or relatives is a bit of an ethnic stereotype in the Asian world, is it not? I've known plenty of Asian kids who'd sooner throw their parents into a nursing home for them to rot away than spend any more time than they had to with them.
 
I feel your pain. I have been in a city that I really don't like for a while now. I LOVE the people I work with (with only a few exceptions), but the city kind of sucks. Not a lot to do, pretty small, economy is dying at a rapid rate. And its always gray and cloudy for the winter months. I too am relatively far away from my family who is pretty close knit (and I am Anglo-Saxon:)). It sucks, but its do-able. I hate being North of the Mason-Dixon line. There is something weird in Yankee territory!

But, You should count yourself lucky.
1. You have a job in the field that you eventually want to practice in. There are quite a few people who would sell their mother for your position. You have a spot, take it, and make the best of it.
2. The cost of living shouldn't be that high. Small town is way easier to afford than big city.
3. Your family isn't close by. No distractions to keep you from studying. You should be able to ROCK the ABSITE, thus increasing your chances if you want to transfer at a latera date. Then when you do visit, you can guiltlessly spend all of your time with your family, not having to worry about studying.
4. You are a surgery resident. You won't be seeing the cold weather all that much anyway. Buy a warm fuzzy hat, scarf and gloves and get a car with seat warmers. (LOVE my heated seats. Everything else in my car sucks, but the heated seats are awesome!)
5. You will not be the only person who is transplanted from warmer climates. They can help you cope. And you will always have a great place to go on vacation.
6. Its only 5 years, at the most. A pretty short time in the grand scheme of things. In 10 years from now, is all this angst and worry really going to matter? I would wager to say, no, not really. Change the attitude and make the best of it.
7. Remember, everything happens for a reason. I know its cliche, but I really do believe it. I, too was not happy to match were I am. I now realize that if I had gone to my first choice I would have been miserable. I am a much better fit for the culture of this program that I would have been for my first choice. Other than the crappy weather and the dying economy, I do like my program.
8. No place is perfect. Sure you have great weather in Florida, but you have GIANT cockroaches, hurricanes, mosquitos and a lot of humidity. You will find some things that you like. And if you don't, refer to #6. Its only 5 years.

Just a little pep talk. You will be just fine. I am sure that you will get good training. Study hard and do well on the ABSITE. 5 years will go faster than you think. You might even make some new friends. Remember, there are people who would KILL to have your position.
 
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