Serenity Now!!! said:
Ill assume that youre honestly curious and not trying to start something where there really isnt anything to start...my parents are from a different culture (West Indian) where the man was seen as the head of the house hold. Now what visual that conjures up in your mind may not be the reality of the situation...this was 30+ years ago!!! obviously times have changed but the term is still relevant. I challenge anyone from Asian, African, Middle eastern backgrounds to prove me wrong, (but I digress..) My dad wasnt the overbearing type although I had alot of neighbors and friends whose dads were tyrants!!!. He is my mom's partner and It didnt matter how much $$ either of them made. Now where in my post did I mention that I was worried about losing my Status as head of the house?? I was responding to a very interesting comment another poster had pointed out. My original post dealt with my wife getting a response from Pharm. school before me. The title of my post was "Hey, should I be jealous?" it was a tongue-in-cheek commentary. Dont paraphrase and dont ASSume. Please re-read the post before making unwarrented comments. 👍
You said: [If a marriage is truly an equal partnership, then I don't see why one person would be the "head of house."]
Just so you know I totally agree! and at least in my case thats the truth
I really wanted it to be clear in my posts that i was NOT attacking anyone or trying to "start something," honestly. and, yeah, i was very curious, or i wouldn't have bothered to post (since i rarely post at all). i made no "unwarranted" comments. i stated my opinions, and i raised some questions, because it was, obviously, an issue that i felt very strongly about, so try not to "ASSume" very much into it either. nice touch, by the way, thanks alot.
believe me, i'm fully aware that things were quite different 30+ years ago, all i'm saying is that (in MY opinion, which seems to be very unpopular on this board) things either have, or should, change. i just don't believe those standards fit anymore. don't just assume that i don't know what you're talking about concerning the roles you've described that your parents held in the house. i wouldn't have to look to different cultures/backgrounds to find evidence of that scenario. it actually sounds like a very similar situation to my family. my mom and dad both worked and were successful, but when it came down to it, my dad was the "head of the house." but just because that was the case for them, doesn't mean it has to be for me.
i never made one comment about your original topic of "should i be jealous?" i think that question definitely has merit. i found your posts interesting, because my husband and i are also both applying to pharmacy school for next year, and i don't run into many couples in the same situation as ours. the idea of resentment or jealousy if only one of us gets in is a serious concern that's buried deep in the back of my mind... and it goes for either one of us. so i completely empathize with you about that.
i applaud you if you truly do support your wife in all her endeavors (just as she does for you, i hope), but, as a woman, i can't help but have my guard up for anything that sets off an "oppressive-comment-or-action-towards-women" red flag. i just feel soooo strongly about it, and i can admit that i might be a little over-zealous at times to find a seemingly harmless comment offensive and sexist, but... it comes down to this: the bottom line is that it absolutely infuriates me to know that there are people in the world that think women are inferior because they're women. that's it. that's where all this is coming from. i know from your response that you did NOT mean to imply that (whew... what a relief
), but please try to see where i'm coming from with all of that, ok?
what do you say... no hard feelings?
Last night were went to the mall looking for an outfit for her interview and she had the nerve to say "Now I have to worry about my interview when I should be studying for the Oct PCAT" I was like "I wish I had your worries!!!" I guess thats human nature. Oh well back to the waiting game 
