Horrible Step 1 experience and is it normal to feel low energy/want to quit medicine?

[davethebarbarian]

I had the worst experience with Step 1 due to family toxicity and ex-girlfriend problems. Regret going home to study for free food by my parents. By the end of Step 1 dedicated I was scoring 70-75% on the NBMEs but had a score drop on Free 120 to 64% and spiraled into crippling anxiety and sadness and postponed by a week. I passed but i'm not even happy about it. I'm starting rotations and I feel so icky and stressed. My mentor knows I'm in introvert and I need to standout if I want to Honors but I have a fear I'm going to choke on History taking, Physical, and presentations with attendings. I feel I'm becoming socially inept in a group setting and don't know if I deserve to be in this profession.

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[GoSpursGo]

There are ebbs and flows throughout the medical training process, so yes it is totally normal to have moments that are harder than others. What is most important is to recognize when those moments are happening and to take care of your mental health when you notice it becoming an issue. I think most people (myself included) find that they need to seek help from a mental health professional at some point during the training process.

It sounds like this may be one of those moments for you. I would recommend you seek help from the resources available at your school.

 

[Putkernerinthehall]

There are ebbs and flows throughout the medical training process, so yes it is totally normal to have moments that are harder than others. What is most important is to recognize when those moments are happening and to take care of your mental health when you notice it becoming an issue. I think most people (myself included) find that they need to seek help from a mental health professional at some point during the training process.

It sounds like this may be one of those moments for you. I would recommend you seek help from the resources available at your school.

I totally second this recommendation. You might think "oh, that won't help" or "I don't need that" but a counselor from the school can be very helpful. The school resources are very knowledgeable of the specific stresses and situations med students are facing ---- they aren't just a generic counselor who has no idea what you're going through. In fact, I imagine they get a spike in inquiries between when last pre-clinical block ends and M3 rotations start. It's a rocky period for many.

 

[davethebarbarian]

I totally second this recommendation. You might think "oh, that won't help" or "I don't need that" but a counselor from the school can be very helpful. The school resources are very knowledgeable of the specific stresses and situations med students are facing ---- they aren't just a generic counselor who has no idea what you're going through. In fact, I imagine they get a spike in inquiries between when last pre-clinical block ends and M3 rotations start. It's a rocky period for many.

thank you everyone. I actually did try our resiliency center during the end of dedicated but they were a bit judgmental and felt the first 2 sessions were not supportive and a bit condescending. I will be looking into a therapist as an investment and am grateful I have an online elective to begin rotations to pan some of my mental health stuff.

 

[Goro]

It sounds like this may be one of those moments for you. I would recommend you seek help from the resources available at your school.

DITTO!!!

 

[esob]

If the services at your institution didn't sit well with you, then it might be helpful to seek resources outside of that setting. Your experience is similar to many of your classmates, whether or not they admit it. I distinctly remember taking step1 with two good friends that I went through dedicated with. After the exam, we went to a pricey restaurant to celebrate, at which point we also noted feeling like we had forgotten how to interact with society.

It sounds like you have good insight into the situation, so I would simply encourage you that your experience is not abnormal and that talking with a professional is a good strategy to move forward in your journey.