How do you politely decline a school? (Especially after visiting!)

[FlipFlops]

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Hey Everyone,

So here's my story and I hope someone can help guide me:

In early February I was accepted to my first OT school, Temple, in Philly. I hadn't seen the school or really done enough research but since it was the only one I had been accepted to, I put down the $300 deposit. I also planned a visit to see the school (and also planned to see two other schools I had applied to: UPitt and Columbia).

After visiting schools, I always write a thank you letter. However, University of Pittsburgh admitted me so soon after I got back that I didn't have a chance (I wrote one to Columbia) and figured it would sound a little moot. I also got into my top school, NYU, about two hours before UPitt.

I have now formally decided to go to NYU. Here's the issues:

1) This morning, Pitt emailed me asking about my decision (originally they said to just not respond if I didn't want to go). How can I possibly thank them for the courtesy of a personal tour and day planned out with student ambassadors and everything perfect to the last detail and simultaneous say "no"? I have been trying to come up with a nice way to say this for weeks (I knew I wasn't going as soon as I got into NYU)! They were sooo amazing and I feel terrible that I have waited so long, but I can't think of a nice way to say thank you and reject them. Please help!

2) I think this is a little more expected, but I need to turn down Temple, as well. I know I'm not getting my money back and that's fine, but they, like Pitt, planned an awesome day for me. I really enjoyed meeting with everyone and taking the tour and I have been corresponding with them since January. I know when I visited them they knew I was still deciding, but how do you say how much you loved their program but will have to decline admission, even after you paid money and committed yourself? I actually did email a short thank you letter, even though I knew I needed to decline, because once again, I wasn't sure what to do. Furthermore, do I address it to the Program Director or the Student Coordinator.

I think I've come to realize what a small and close-knit community the OT community really is and I want to keep good feelings between me and these great institutions. Does anyone know of a good way to do that?

Thank you for your time and letting me vent and ramble!

 

[OT307]

Hi. Honestly those are good schools and they will not be hurt that you are not accepting. They will have great classes no matter what. You also should be respectful to the people who may be on the waiting lists at those schools. Someone is probably anxiously awaiting the spot you are holding onto. Just send them a quick e-mail... they will be fine! I rejected Pitt last week and it was fine, just be respectful about it. Good luck!

 

[OT4Life]

🙂

 

[FlipFlops]

I agree with OT307. I think it's pretty commonplace for schools to receive a thanks but no thanks from students so I don't think you have any chance of offending them.

Would you mind telling me your opinions on Pitt's program? I am considering going there but will not be able to visit the campus and would really appreciate some insight! Thank you so much!

I understand what you guys are saying but I feel like arranging a personal tour and students assigned to guide me and everything was a personal touch and a rejection is a slap in the face. I'm not asking if it's okay to do it, I'm asking of there is a specific way you would go about doing so, especially since I am technically committed to one of the schools already.

As for Pitt, I am declining them because of the city, not the program. The program is phenomenal and I felt right at home. They pair you with a student mentor from the year above and everyone is really close. I felt like all the Professors were so nice and wanted to include me. I hadn't slept the night before (I flew into Pittsburgh) and they were accommodating, despite my obvious sleep deprivation. They have great facilities, a cadaver lab, and beautiful facilities.

I wasn't thrilled about Pittsburg's (the city) parking situation and they tell you not to bring a car and to take the bus, which is supposed to be really easy. My main reason is that I graduated from a big university in a tiny town that has nothing to do and I need a real city. Pittsburgh (though I honestly didn't get to explore everything), from what I saw around campus, was definitely a city, but then you were in the suburbs. Don't get me wrong, it was great and probably endless things to do! I just know that I need to be somewhere like Manhattan...hope that helps!

 

[affa]

I think any heart felt letter would be understandable. You could frame it by saying how difficult it is to make decisions when you don't know all of your options. They have to send hundreds of denial letters every year, they know how hard it is to do.
Another thought is that there are people on waiting lists at all of those schools that would really love to go, and the sooner they know, the sooner they can sleep better at night!

 

[FlipFlops]

I think any heart felt letter would be understandable. You could frame it by saying how difficult it is to make decisions when you don't know all of your options. They have to send hundreds of denial letters every year, they know how hard it is to do.
Another thought is that there are people on waiting lists at all of those schools that would really love to go, and the sooner they know, the sooner they can sleep better at night!

affa,
I definitely understand that one, though to be fair, Pitt just said not to respond if we weren't attending and I only recently decided between Temple and NYU. I plan on having letters emailed to both by tomorrow, so any insight would be fantastic! I hope you all get my spots! I really do!

 

[frootloops]

Dear Awesome school,

I am honored that you have accepted me to your awesome program. Unfortunately, there are many factors to consider when deciding on a graduate program. I regret to inform you that I will be attending another program (if there are specific reasons and you feel comfortable discussing, you can explicate here). Thank you for your interest and time you have taken to select me as a qualified applicant.

Sincerely,

Awesome OT applicant.

If you want something more fancy, then I am sure SDN or Google can help you find articles about this type of letter.

 

[Lifeisgreat]

Nicely said frootloops!

 

[gymnastau]

Great letter Fruitloops and a very professional approach. Flipflops, you already come across as such a thoughtful person and I have no doubt they saw this in person. They will certainly understand how tough this choice was. They know these are big life decisions for people. No doubt they will respect your choice and will look forward to interacting with you at OT events in the future.
Congrats on a decision!! Can't wait to hear how NYU is if you continue to post on these boards. I almost feel like there should be a Facebook group for those who suffered through the application process of 2012! It sure is a uniting process. 🙂

 

[FlipFlops]

Dear Awesome school,

I am honored that you have accepted me to your awesome program. Unfortunately, there are many factors to consider when deciding on a graduate program. I regret to inform you that I will be attending another program (if there are specific reasons and you feel comfortable discussing, you can explicate here). Thank you for your interest and time you have taken to select me as a qualified applicant.

Sincerely,

Awesome OT applicant.

If you want something more fancy, then I am sure SDN or Google can help you find articles about this type of letter.

Thank you frootloops! That matches my letter well. I feel confident in sending it now. I really hope you all get my spots and I apologize for any delay I may have caused. I promise it was not done out of greed or malice!

 

[FlipFlops]

Great letter Fruitloops and a very professional approach. Flipflops, you already come across as such a thoughtful person and I have no doubt they saw this in person. They will certainly understand how tough this choice was. They know these are big life decisions for people. No doubt they will respect your choice and will look forward to interacting with you at OT events in the future.
Congrats on a decision!! Can't wait to hear how NYU is if you continue to post on these boards. I almost feel like there should be a Facebook group for those who suffered through the application process of 2012! It sure is a uniting process. 🙂

Thank you so much gymnastau! You're too kind! And yes, I feel like we should all stay connected! You have all either directly or indirectly held my hand through this process so thank you so much!