How many people go to the Parties during orientation and after test?

[touchpause13]

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I've been called a bitch or worse for simply saying I'm not interested. And I think you guys aren't taking in account the fear of violence that happens when a woman is harassed.

Someone won't stop hitting on me or grabs me? I have to go through a risk management analysis in my head. How big is this guy in comparison to me? Is his drunk? Does he look angry? Does he have a weapon or something that can be used as a weapon? I have to figure out my safest option for getting him to stop. It's not just about etiquette.

 

[RJGOP]

I've been called a bitch or worse for simply saying I'm not interested. And I think you guys aren't taking in account the fear of violence that happens when a woman is harassed.

Someone won't stop hitting on me or grabs me? I have to go through a risk management analysis in my head. How big is this guy in comparison to me? Is his drunk? Does he look angry? Does he have a weapon or something that can be used as a weapon? I have to figure out my safest option for getting him to stop. It's not just about etiquette.

Yeah, that's a good point. That's why is usually try to intervene to help a girl if I see a dude that's pissed and wants sex, and she's not interested. It doesn't always work but I go up to the and offer to buy him a drink, and he usually forgets about her. Then I try to apologize to the girl.

 

[PL198]

I've been called a bitch or worse for simply saying I'm not interested. And I think you guys aren't taking in account the fear of violence that happens when a woman is harassed.

Someone won't stop hitting on me or grabs me? I have to go through a risk management analysis in my head. How big is this guy in comparison to me? Is his drunk? Does he look angry? Does he have a weapon or something that can be used as a weapon? I have to figure out my safest option for getting him to stop. It's not just about etiquette.

How often do you fear for violence in those situations? If it's not extremely rare, I'd say you're not hanging out in very nice places. Huge difference between someone harassing you and someone harassing you that you think would get physical.

 

[touchpause13]

Yeah, that's a good point. That's why is usually try to intervene to help a girl if I see a dude that's pissed and wants sex, and she's not interested. It doesn't always work but I go up to the and offer to buy him a drink, and he usually forgets about her. Then I try to apologize to the girl.

That's a good technique and I'm sure the girl in question appreciates it. I've definitely had friends save my bum before with guys who were getting out of control, and have managed to slip away while a dude was distracted.

 

[RJGOP]

How often do you fear for violence in those situations? If it's not extremely rare, I'd say you're not hanging out in very nice places. Huge difference between someone harassing you and someone harassing you that you think would get physical.

Usually if they're drunk, people tend to be more violent.

 

[touchpause13]

How often do you fear for violence in those situations? If it's not extremely rare, I'd say you're not hanging out in very nice places. Huge difference between someone harassing you and someone harassing you that you think would get physical.

Someone stronger than you wants something from you that you don't want to give. You are going to wonder whether or not that person will hurt you to get what they want.

 

[PL198]

Someone stronger than you wants something from you that you don't want to give. You are going to wonder whether or not that person will hurt you to get what they want.

If you want to be absolute, sure. But there's a point where something is viable or not. I don't know how you interact with men at all if you are as absolute as you're making it sound. Nearly every man is going to be physically superior to you, that doesn't mean they're all actual physical threats, even while harassing you. That's the sensationalist BS I'm talking about.

 

[touchpause13]

If you want to be absolute, sure. But there's a point where something is viable or not. I don't know how you interact with men at all if you are as absolute as you're making it sound. Nearly every man is going to be physically superior to you, that doesn't mean they're all actual physical threats, even while harassing you. That's the sensationalist BS I'm talking about.

I determine whether or not a man is a threat to me or not. That's what I was talking about, that I have to figure out whether or not it's safe to confront a man harassing me.

 

[PL198]

I determine whether or not a man is a threat to me or not. That's what I was talking about, that I have to figure out whether or not it's safe to confront a man harassing me.

Yes and I initially asked you, how often does that happen?

 

[touchpause13]

Yes and I initially asked you, how often does that happen?

How often do I do the risk assessment thing? All the time.

 

[PL198]

Alright you're purposefully avoiding the question. I'm pretty sure it's clear I'm asking how often is someone a viable threat in your opinion. Every human performs a risk analysis of all organisms they are aware of at every second of the day. I'm pleased to know that you are no different than them, but not interested in wasting more of my time.

adios

 

[fancymylotus]

Jeez @touchpause13 you're so horrible coz you don't want to **** me 🙁

 

[touchpause13]

Okay you weren't clear with your question. I thought you were asking how often I do the risk assessment thing because of this post:

Yes and I initially asked you, how often does that happen?

If you are asking how often I determine someone may become violent when I confront them? Ehh.. like 1 out of every 10 times I'm harassed. Mostly this happens when the guy in question has been drinking.

If you are asking how often someone has been violent? That's a bit personal for this conversation.

 

[touchpause13]

Jeez @touchpause13 you're so horrible coz you don't want to **** me 🙁

Don't you ever think that, not even for a second.

 

[redpanda]

I've been called a bitch or worse for simply saying I'm not interested.

This. So much.

 

[Ismet]

Here's just a few examples of how that link is *****ic:
1) Telling a rando you have a BF has nothing to do with harassment. Most women do it because it's simple, most men will immediately respect this claim and it doesn't require the woman to actually reject the guy directly. I'm pretty sure if someone is actually harassing a woman, they wouldn't talk about their significant other, they'd just say, "get away from me," and then elevate the issue from there if it isn't finished. So in terms of actual harassment, this isn't involved.
2) Groping is direct sexual harassment. I'm not sure there's anyone that somehow negates groping as harassment, but it was a nice addition to try to draw sympathy? "Yeah murder is real, I just got shot in the head and died."
3) The author of this could look up the definition of provocative. It requires dressing a certain way to acquire attention. As in, that was the persons intent by dressing that way. If that attention becomes a problem(ie becomes harassment) then the issue is handled as such. It's pretty clear to me that someone that purposefully dresses to attract attention is going to receive a higher amount of both good and bad attention than someone who does not. It's not slut shaming, it's just not being oblivious to the fact of someone's intent. It doesn't mean the woman is asking for it, it just means if she was being rational, she'd have understood that dressing proactively, by nature will result in a higher amount of both good and bad attention.
4) Cool down periods have nothing to do with public ownership. I'm not a proponent of them at all, but its another thing to blatantly misconstrue. If anything, it's public ownership of the administers of the abortion, not the person receiving it, as they are the one with the regulations. No one is stopping a woman from doing that herself, but if she wants a medical abortion, then she would have to go through a provider, which has regulations. Thus those regulations aren't inherently about a potential "ownership" or her, it's of the providers.
5) I still don't know anyone that says women are never harassed. I've definitely seen it happen, and have literally stepped in when I was asked to. People commonly say that the issue is overplayed and talked about too frequently, which is completely different than saying it doesn't exist.

Typical emotional draw though.

Sorry, I had typed a response earlier but had to run to evening clinic.


1. What exactly is your definition of "actually harassment"? The only times I've used the boyfriend excuse is AFTER I've already tried excusing myself and getting away politely. Especially if you're alone, guys can be persistent and keep going after you. Sometimes they don't take no for an answer. It's sad that we have to lie and say that we're "taken" by another man in order for the guy to "respect" that and stop. It is NOT as easy as just telling them to go away. If they keep persisting, in their minds, what they're doing isn't harassment. And touching on what has been said more recently, I also do the risk assessment in my head. I don't live in a dangerous city overall by any means, but there are bad parts of town, and I happen to live on the border of one of said parts. I have to walk by a bar to get home and I've been cat-called by the huge men who stand outside. I doubt they're going to do anything as I'm next to a busy street, but I turn the corner into an alley where my building is, and they could easily follow me back there. I don't think you know what it's like to be in that situation and having to assess your safety from men when you're just walking home from the bus stop.

2. The groping thing was just an example to show how women are treated as objects to be enjoyed. And yes, there are people out there who do feel like they are allowed to just touch something that's there in front of them.

5. I do know people who think that women are never harassed. Just because you haven't encountered them doesn't mean they don't exist.

 

[alpinism]

No actually many of us wouldn't say, "get away from me". Many of us were raised to be "nice young ladies" who don't say anything rude to someone else, regardless of whether it's unwanted attention or a physical altercation.

Yes saying you have a BF is easier and doesn't require you to reject the unwanted attention which can (and often does) escalate. What woman here hasn't tried to reject some unwanted attention and been labeled a **** or a bitch? It's just easier to end the harassment before it gets to that level, and because it works because men respect others "property".

There is difference between legal harassment and what most women would would define as harassment.

If you honestly think that "no one" is ever called a bitch for telling off someone who is harassing her (or for even something as simple as "I'm not interested thanks"), then I'm not sure what else to say. You've just not seen it but it happens all the time. There are an awful lot of entitled men out there.

True, but for every entitled man who mistreats women there are probably 10 or more gentlemen out there. While there’s no denying that women overall have it worse then men, there are plenty of men out there who are mistreated by women on a daily basis.

Also, not sure if you’re trolling, but the statement about “men respect others property” can easily be interpreted as degrading and offensive. That’s like me saying saying “women love being in the kitchen.” I’m pretty sure most men (myself included) don’t regard women as property. I would hope you don’t stereotype all men this way.

Lol I do appreciate the irony though.

 

[RJGOP]

Sorry, I had typed a response earlier but had to run to evening clinic.


1. What exactly is your definition of "actually harassment"? The only times I've used the boyfriend excuse is AFTER I've already tried excusing myself and getting away politely. Especially if you're alone, guys can be persistent and keep going after you. Sometimes they don't take no for an answer. It's sad that we have to lie and say that we're "taken" by another man in order for the guy to "respect" that and stop. It is NOT as easy as just telling them to go away. If they keep persisting, in their minds, what they're doing isn't harassment. And touching on what has been said more recently, I also do the risk assessment in my head. I don't live in a dangerous city overall by any means, but there are bad parts of town, and I happen to live on the border of one of said parts. I have to walk by a bar to get home and I've been cat-called by the huge men who stand outside. I doubt they're going to do anything as I'm next to a busy street, but I turn the corner into an alley where my building is, and they could easily follow me back there. I don't think you know what it's like to be in that situation and having to assess your safety from men when you're just walking home from the bus stop.

2. The groping thing was just an example to show how women are treated as objects to be enjoyed. And yes, there are people out there who do feel like they are allowed to just touch something that's there in front of them.

5. I do know people who think that women are never harassed. Just because you haven't encountered them doesn't mean they don't exist.

Depends where you live. The men in places like cook county don't give a **** whether or not someone sees them committing a crime, as they've been locked up numerous times before.

By the way, I was never good at math but I don't think 5 follows 2 ( you had #1 point, #2 point and #5 point) 😛

 

[Ismet]

Also, not sure if you’re trolling, but the statement about “men respect others property” can easily be interpreted as degrading and offensive. That’s like me saying saying “women love being in the kitchen.” I’m pretty sure most men (myself included) don’t regard women as property. I would hope you don’t stereotype all men this way.

Pretty sure she was referring to the example in the article/comic.

Of course all men are not like this. Most of the men I interact with on a daily basis are perfect gentlemen most or all of the time.

 

[Ismet]

Depends where you live. The men in places like cook county don't give a **** whether or not someone sees them committing a crime! as they've been locked up numerous times before.

By the way, I was never good at math but I don't think 5 follows 2 ( you had #1 point, #2 point and #5 point) 😛

I live in a very safe city, I'm sure if I lived in Chicago or Baltimore I would be much more aware.

For the numbers, I was responding to the numbers in PL's post. Didn't respond to 3 or 4.

 

[RJGOP]

I live in a very safe city, I'm sure if I lived in Chicago or Baltimore I would be much more aware.

For the numbers, I was responding to the numbers in PL's post. Didn't respond to 3 or 4.

Oh, I'm really sorry, I didn't pay attention to the quote to which you were responding. My bad- I guess the joke backfired, lol.

 

[touchpause13]

True, but for every entitled man who mistreats women there are probably 10 or more gentlemen out there. While there’s no denying that women overall have it worse then men, there are plenty of men out there who are mistreated by women on a daily basis.

Also, not sure if you’re trolling, but the statement about “men respect others property” can easily be interpreted as degrading and offensive. That’s like me saying saying “women love being in the kitchen.” I’m pretty sure most men (myself included) don’t regard women as property. I would hope you don’t stereotype all men this way.

Lol I do appreciate the irony though.

#NotAllMen

lololol

Also the point was that the men who harass, grope, are awful to women do treat us like property, that's why saying you are someone else's tends to get them to back off.

 

[redpanda]

3) The author of this could look up the definition of provocative. It requires dressing a certain way to acquire attention. As in, that was the persons intent by dressing that way. If that attention becomes a problem(ie becomes harassment) then the issue is handled as such. It's pretty clear to me that someone that purposefully dresses to attract attention is going to receive a higher amount of both good and bad attention than someone who does not. It's not slut shaming, it's just not being oblivious to the fact of someone's intent. It doesn't mean the woman is asking for it, it just means if she was being rational, she'd have understood that dressing proactively, by nature will result in a higher amount of both good and bad attention.

I might add that merely being a woman is enough to attract unwanted attention aka being provocative. I have been catcalled on the street wearing anything from professional clothing to summer athletic clothing.

 

[RJGOP]

I might add that merely being a woman is enough to attract unwanted attention aka being provocative. I have been catcalled on the street wearing anything from professional clothing to summer athletic clothing.

The men who catcall and harass are typically just desperate douchebags who cannot maintain a relationship with a woman, or can't create one in the first place. Most men are more professional, courteous and mature, myself included.

 

[Ismet]

There's a new movement going called "Cards Against Harassment" (cardsagainstharassment.com)

This woman secretly films interactions with men who harass her on the street.

Perfect example of a guy who thinks it's perfectly okay to harass women:

 

[fancymylotus]

Don't you ever think that, not even for a second.

I'm sure he wouldn't mind sharing for a night. You should ask him.

 

[RJGOP]

There's a new movement going called "Cards Against Harassment" (cardsagainstharassment.com)

This woman secretly films interactions with men who harass her on the street.

Perfect example of a guy who thinks it's perfectly okay to harass women:

In my opinion he wasn't harassing her, he was just being kinda obnoxious and low class. He wasn't threatening her or touching her though.

 

[RJGOP]

Jeez @touchpause13 you're so horrible coz you don't want to **** me 🙁

Jesus that's gross.

 

[Ismet]

In my opinion he wasn't harassing her, he was just being kinda obnoxious and low class. He wasn't threatening her or touching her though.

The video started after their initial interaction and after she gave him one of the cards. Listen to what he says in the video. He sees nothing wrong with talking to women like that and says "women were put on this earth to pleasure men."

Harassment does not mean threatening or touching. Simply catcalling a woman is considered harassment.

 

[touchpause13]

"Women are put on this earth to satisfy men"

You seriously don't think that's harassment???

 

[RJGOP]

The video started after their initial interaction and after she gave him one of the cards. Listen to what he says in the video. He sees nothing wrong with talking to women like that and says "women were put on this earth to pleasure men."

Harassment does not mean threatening or touching. Simply catcalling a woman is considered harassment.

That's just his stupid opinion or justification for catcalling.

And I know harassment doesn't need to involve threats or unwanted touching to constitute harassment, but compared to what I've had to help women out of, he wasn't so bad. Sorry if I was wrong.

 

[fancymylotus]

Jesus that's gross.

Wait. What's gross?

 

[Ismet]

That's just his stupid opinion or justification for catcalling.

And I know harassment doesn't need to involve threats or unwanted touching to constitute harassment, but compared to what I've had to help women out of, he wasn't so bad. Sorry if I was wrong.

I probably wasn't clear in my reason for posting that. I was referring to the earlier claims that some people can't believe that there are people out there who don't think women get harassed (see point #5 in my previous post). That guy in the video is an example of that person who doesn't think it's harassment to talk to women like that. His personal interaction with the woman taking the video wasn't bad apart from the disgusting things he was saying, not sure what came before it though.

 

[RJGOP]

Wait. What's gross?

Well from the context and the word which had been covered, it seemed that you wanted to fornicate another woman.

 

[fancymylotus]

Well from the context and the word which had been covered, it seemed that you wanted to fornicate another woman.

@touchpause13

You're up.

 

[Ismet]

 

[NontradCA]

There's a new movement going called "Cards Against Harassment" (cardsagainstharassment.com)

This woman secretly films interactions with men who harass her on the street.

Perfect example of a guy who thinks it's perfectly okay to harass women:

Wow that girls just as obnoxious as the guys she's talking to. If I start talking to random dudes on the street like that Id probably get stabbed.

You don't see the irony in this?

 

[touchpause13]

Well from the context and the word which had been covered, it seemed that you wanted to fornicate another woman.

Do you really want to go there?
Because I'm not in a good mood right now. Honestly I'm sick and freaking tired of dealing with homophobes so and I'm really fittin to let someone have it. Do you want that someone to be you?

 

[SouthernSurgeon]

The trolling is getting more obvious

 

[Arkangeloid]

Too many feminists up in hurr I think.

 

[RJGOP]

Wow that girls just as obnoxious as the guys she's talking to. If I start talking to random dudes on the street like that Id probably get stabbed.

You don't see the irony in this?

She was sort of aggressive, but I think that was due to her frustration.

 

[RJGOP]

Do you really want to go there?
Because I'm not in a good mood right now. Honestly I'm sick and freaking tired of dealing with homophobes so and I'm really fittin to let someone have it. Do you want that someone to be you?

I'm not homophobic, I just don't think that should be discussed amongst us all, maybe a private conversation would be more suitable. And I'm sorry you're not in a good mood.

 

[SouthernSurgeon]

I'm not homophobic, I just don't think that should be discussed amongst us all, maybe a private conversation would be more suitable. And I'm sorry you're not in a good mood.

Maybe like...if nobody asked, and they didn't tell?

 

[RJGOP]

Maybe like...if nobody asked, and they didn't tell?

Sure, that would work great. Don't ask, don't tell.

 

[Ismet]

@touchpause13 rn:

 

[Ismet]

Wow that girls just as obnoxious as the guys she's talking to. If I start talking to random dudes on the street like that Id probably get stabbed.

You don't see the irony in this?

She didn't start the interaction. He harassed her and she confronted him.

 

[touchpause13]

oh helllll no

 

[touchpause13]

 

[touchpause13]

Sure, that would work great. Don't ask, don't tell.

No that didn't work "great" it worked horribly. Because you know what's horrible? Being in the closet. You know what else is horrible? Being able to be discharged (sometimes dishonorably) for your sexual orientation. Are you actually this ignorant?

 

[fancymylotus]

No that didn't work "great" it worked horribly. Because you know what's horrible? Being in the closet. You know what else is horrible? Being able to be discharged (sometimes dishonorably) for your sexual orientation. Are you actually this ignorant?

#missourilyfe