How to deal with being single?

[Blade28]

Well, I haven't read the myriad methods out there today, but I'm sure they do work since they probably all preach the same thing. In my experience, if you sit back and look at the dynamic of a club or bar, you will have several niches of behavior form as the night progresses. A) the bf/gf couple doing their thing, the B) girls night out crew humping each other and laughing it up, C) the generic bro group all wearing some permutation of a button down, and D) the random weirdos that are constantly scoping out the scene in the most stalkerish fashion.

If you're a guy, competition against group D) is out because they'll just sulk in the corner all night. All you're really up against is group C), and they're all clones of each other. It's like winning by default as long as you don't get stuck in with the C's.

Like you said, you also really have to match your personality type to the place you're going to be hanging out at too. Legitimate clubs, >$20 cover and above, are going to have smoking chicks with attitudes that you usually have to knock down a peg or two. Conversation is pretty limited too, so you have to move quickly. Bars and clubs are both fun, but I'm just too old to wake up and still not be able to hear correctly anymore. It's like a once a month thing now, and Philly's club scene isn't that great anyways.

So true! This is the bar/club scene whether you're in med school or residency, unfortunately.

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[jester384]

read "The Game". Then use torrents to dl all of Style, and Mystery, and Juggler's (wayne elise's) stuff. lol I'm laughing because this stupid **** works. Don't ask me why. if i misinterpreted your post and you already date but you haven't found, "THE ONE", i can't help you there, but this has helped people i know get into the dating scene. anyways, it'll be a start for you and help you fill your friday and saturday nights. btw, undergrad was where you should have learned about dating but better late than never.

 

[seraph524]

This thread rocks so hard.

I'm looking forward to a lonely 8 years in med school.

 

[SoFlaKnight]

The thing about the books and ideas put out by Mystery, Juggler, Thundercat, [insert Douche pseudonym here] is that the methods employed by them work for each respective guy, though serving as a foundation for guys with absolutely N-O game whatsoever, 95% of guys out there treat it like a sacred text and follow the patterns and general bull**** to the letter. Time and time again you'll see some poor bastard in a club or bar trying to open up some girl, ultimately crashing and burning b/c he hit a bump along the way and get flustered because he had no inner CONFIDENCE. I agree with the aspects that allow "Average Frustrated Chumps"-or whatever they're referring to them as now-to realize that if they don't focus on the matters of their own life that they can build upon as the foundation for this confidence they're dead in the water. However, it's pretty pathetic to see guys patterning, doing magic tricks and trying to NLP as they subtly point at their *****. I will agree that from what I've seen, it works most of the time...which is a tad disconcerting.

I get the impression that the guys who are behind the community had some kind of maternal-emotional abusive relationship in their past that they never quite got over. Also, most of their stuff doesn't apply to college game, due to the intrinsic social/tribal matters that are at work. In any event, women will get wise to the tricks, petty openers, 'negs', etc. and ultimately still be attracted to the qualities of the oft referred to 'Alpha'. Whatever happened to sacking up, having confidence in yourself and enjoying the company of others?

 

[thebeatblitz]

Dude, did some guy doing a magic trick steal your girl or something?

 

[SoFlaKnight]

Dude, did some guy doing a magic trick steal your girl or something?

Yeah man, we were walking down the Upper West Side when some guy with a goatee...David Blaire or Blaine something, stopped us in the middle of the street to show us this levitation trick...When I came out of my awestruck stupor, they were both gone! Now I'm all alone

 

[la petite mort]

At a no name hospital where I worked prior to medical school, there was a big controversy where a department chief was caught having a relationship with his medical student.

Remember, this isn't some some intern being released for dating a med student, this was a middle aged, respected doctor who had quite a bit of power in the hospital. And this wasn't a "There were doing it in a linen closet and got caught by a patietn's family" controversy. They got caught because people wondered how a fourth year student was getting so many expensive things and some people started asking questions and she let it slip to the wrong person.

He ended up leaving the hospital (one of those "resign or you're fired" deals) and the rumor was she got some scarlet letter in her med school file.

Fraternization between students and attendings/residents seems glamorous and fun on TV, but it's serious business

I've heard repeatedly that as far as lechery goes, male med school professors are the worst.

 

[Van Chowder]

Marriage? Hell the frequency of sex changed for me when I was just dating my last two girlfriends.

If you've got someone who likes you (the real you) and honestly shares your interests, then sex isn't as big a deal anymore, sometimes you would honestly just rather do something else with them.

GEt outta my face with that crap!!

 

[enjoydrywax]

Being single in medical school is especially bad when you're the scrawny, short, and asian type (me). Even if I fix the scrawny part, which I am working on, it's still ridiculously difficult to get girls to even notice you. And I'm not even talking classmates either, even girls outside of class. I live in LA too.. attractive girls are a dime a dozen here.

It's kind of a bummer when you over hear all the girls fawning over the tall white dudes all the time.

However, it gives me tons of reason/time to study hard because that's the only area of expertise I have.

 

[SweetnessFollow]

Being single in medical school is especially bad when you're the scrawny, short, and asian type (me). Even if I fix the scrawny part, which I am working on, it's still ridiculously difficult to get girls to even notice you. And I'm not even talking classmates either, even girls outside of class. I live in LA too.. attractive girls are a dime a dozen here.

It's kind of a bummer when you over hear all the girls fawning over the tall white dudes all the time.

However, it gives me tons of reason/time to study hard because that's the only area of expertise I have.

The girls looking for the MRS degree in medical school are not the ones you want anyway. And secondly, my vote is to date someone OUTSIDE of medicine. Gives you a perspective on something you wouldn't be exposed to. And remember dude, the type of guys that girls date are different from the type they marry. When you don't realize the distinction is when you see divorces happen. But what do I know, I haven't been single in decades...

 

[AlexMorph]

Being single in medical school is especially bad when you're the scrawny, short, and asian type (me). Even if I fix the scrawny part, which I am working on, it's still ridiculously difficult to get girls to even notice you. And I'm not even talking classmates either, even girls outside of class. I live in LA too.. attractive girls are a dime a dozen here.

It's kind of a bummer when you over hear all the girls fawning over the tall white dudes all the time.

However, it gives me tons of reason/time to study hard because that's the only area of expertise I have.

that sounds so sad

 

[surag]

I think overall negativity here needs to be put in perspective.

1. the people who are posting here with a negative vibe are mainly here because they sought out this site to vent or throw fire into the fire pit(so to speak; does that even make sense?)

2. A lot of what we see isn't what it seems. Don't worry about the next guy whos married or is dating the hottest girl in town. for all you know he's not accomplishing jack in med school or w/e profession he's in. Worry about yourself...which leads me to..

3. Be confident in YOUR life. Someone out there is going to be smarter than you, taller than you, hotter looking than you, have more game than you, or have more money than you. You cant succeed at everything, and life's beauty has limited you in some things. which again leads me to...

4. Be intent on succeeding at what YOU CAN. Do well in whatever your good at, within reason. I'm assuming most people here have gotten into med school. So work your ***** off to do well. Succeed in whatever field you want to get into.


The most important thing out of it all is to work hard at what you do, be confident at it, and let things come as they do.

Does it sound fishy? maybe...but its a fact.

 

[AlexMorph]

I think overall negativity here needs to be put in perspective.

1. the people who are posting here with a negative vibe are mainly here because they sought out this site to vent or throw fire into the fire pit(so to speak; does that even make sense?)

2. A lot of what we see isn't what it seems. Don't worry about the next guy whos married or is dating the hottest girl in town. for all you know he's not accomplishing jack in med school or w/e profession he's in. Worry about yourself...which leads me to..

3. Be confident in YOUR life. Someone out there is going to be smarter than you, taller than you, hotter looking than you, have more game than you, or have more money than you. You cant succeed at everything, and life's beauty has limited you in some things. which again leads me to...

4. Be intent on succeeding at what YOU CAN. Do well in whatever your good at, within reason. I'm assuming most people here have gotten into med school. So work your ***** off to do well. Succeed in whatever field you want to get into.


The most important thing out of it all is to work hard at what you do, be confident at it, and let things come as they do.

Does it sound fishy? maybe...but its a fact.

It seems Dr. Phil has made his way onto SDN...

 

[DrDrixDZanth]

It seems Dr. Phil has made his way onto SDN...

2nd that. lol.

Also, whoever brought up PUA content (Mystery Method, "The Game", etc) is dead on. As long as you develop conversational techniques using their methods as a TEMPLATE rather than carbon copy you'll have incredible success. Most girls will also appreciate having a guy who can make interesting conversation. The goal of this stuff isn't to make you into some wierdly effective playboy. Approach it as a set of instruments that will open up the barriers between the girl and the real you that she would probably like, anyway.

Worst comes to worse, it's a numbers game. Eventually you will find someone.

 

[ChemEngSoonMD]

Ok I've really resisted to post this kind of thread on the SDN forums, but after going to a Halloween party last night and seeing that most of the females there were taken, I just couldn't take it anymore.

I foolishly had the conception that if I were in medical school, my chances of meeting a nice girlfriend would be just as good as college, or even better just because of being a medical student. It seems in my class, almost every girl is married/engaged/committed, so I won't be getting any luck from interclass relationships (which may be a blessing in disguise). Every female in this city here around my age also seems to be married/engaged and it really pisses me off. I'm trying to get around to meet other females that are not in medical school, but I've had very little time to actually do so this semester.

Next semester, that won't be a good excuse because our class doesn't have gross and biochem anymore. How have you guys been able to meet other singles outside your class? Or should I just deal with the fact that I'm going to be single for a looooong time?

Getting good with women is a skill that can be learned by going out consistently 2-3 nights a week and forcing yourself to talk to people. Thomas Edison failed on the light bulb 9999 times. If you talk to 10,000 girls, I guarantee you will get the skill to pick up any body you want whether it is a gf, a wife, or whatever you chose. If you go out 3 times a week and talk to 10 people per night. Thats 30 girls a week, 1500 girls a year. Hell, even with 5000 under your belt, which is about 3 years, you would be insanely good. I'll leave the rest of the research to yourself.

 

[dreslam zeghebr]

I thought that being single is bad but you must take care that girl you want suitable for you

 

[surag]

It seems Dr. Phil has made his way onto SDN...

Haha...I'm no dr. phil. And I loathe that comparison but its true.

I think the other guy who wrote about how PUA can be an effective tool is correct to.

Thing is, most guys just dont bother to try and are more than willing to wallow in misery. Which is a lot easier to do.

I'm just trying to show that its not all that a big deal and that hteres more to life than being 'only' single.

 

[ChemEngSoonMD]

Haha...I'm no dr. phil. And I loathe that comparison but its true.

I think the other guy who wrote about how PUA can be an effective tool is correct to.

Thing is, most guys just dont bother to try and are more than willing to wallow in misery. Which is a lot easier to do.

I'm just trying to show that its not all that a big deal and that hteres more to life than being 'only' single.

No offense, but you probably spend more time talking about theorycraft on SDN on dating than actually talking to them in real life.

 

[AlexMorph]

No offense, but you probably spend more time talking about theorycraft on SDN on dating than actually talking to them in real life.

don't start the flaming on this thread too. just let it be.

 

[ChimpanzeeMinky]

No offense, but you probably spend more time talking about theorycraft on SDN on dating than actually talking to them in real life.

The silly moderators who get off on having a limited piece of power on SDN here deleted my message, so here I say again:

Shut up and quit your trolling. Perhaps that won't violate their political correctness objections.

 

[WellWornLad]

I think the other guy who wrote about how PUA can be an effective tool is correct to.

You know you've been in the club too long when you start using acronyms to describe dating strategies. Am I the only one who had to look up "PUA?"

 

[username456789]

You know you've been in the club too long when you start using acronyms to describe dating strategies. Am I the only one who had to look up "PUA?"

No, I had to look it up too. And when I did, I instantly felt sad for the person(s) using it. Kids these days.

 

[surag]

No, I had to look it up too. And when I did, I instantly felt sad for the person(s) using it. Kids these days.

Haha...I felt the same way. Actually, I only know what it is because it kept coming up on a different thread. I finally looked it up and then had the audacity to rail against that kind of stuff. The backlash was intense.

Anyway, I just assumed since everyone was using the term PUA(i dont even know what it stands for now, players something something) that you guys would know it as well.

 

[surag]

No offense, but you probably spend more time talking about theorycraft on SDN on dating than actually talking to them in real life.

im not replying to this. sorry.

 

[MsKrispyKreme]

No, I had to look it up too. And when I did, I instantly felt sad for the person(s) using it. Kids these days.

It's a lot of ugly guys on SDN...

 

[ChemEngSoonMD]

It's a lot of ugly guys on SDN...

Looks don't matter. Ugly guys who got game are typically more interesting and dynamic.

 

[surag]

Looks don't matter. Ugly guys who got game are typically more interesting and dynamic.

no you're absolutely WRONG. LOOKS ARE THE MOST important quality!

Being 6' tall, having a high cheekbone, the square jaw. Blue Eyes. Blonde hair. One arm stretched out showing off the awesome muscles of the bicep. Very key in being successful with women. Indeed, short men need not apply. One must be very well dressed, with incredible style. Such companies as DG, Gucci are a must. Just listen to SouljaBoy and you will understand what I mean!

Looks-the best a man can get!

 

[SpookyDoc]

Looks don't matter. Ugly guys who got game are typically more interesting and dynamic.

Yes, they're lots of fun to pal around with. Prepared to get friend zoned. If you don't meet a general threshold you're ****ed with anything above a B-.

That's why your first step in getting a girl is to get a haircut and some nice clothes, and to put some attention into your personal grooming.

Having game and confidence is all well and great, but if you confidently approach a girl from within her field of view (5 second approach) you're dead in the water compared to a guy whose face she can lust over as he approaches.

 

[hoqhuuep]

Looks don't matter. Ugly guys who got game are typically more interesting and dynamic.

Reading between the lines: you're ugly, yet perceive yourself as interesting and dynamic.

First impressions are everything, and those of us that groom ourselves have a step up on the ChemEng population. Not a step that can't be overcome, but still a step that many ChemEngs are too timid to climb.

Looks do matter... or are you down for chasing the fat chicks?

 

[bigman225]

lol

 

[ChemEngSoonMD]

Have you ever been to college? That's not the way things work. Girls are every bit as shallow as guys. This is why I can pull girls at bars during the middle of summer when I'm tan and have been lifting a bunch, but not during finals week when I'm a dilapidated ghost. Please tell me this is sarcasm.

My roommate:

1. works at radio shack
2. smells
3. lives with his mom (IN THE SAME ROOM)
4 fat

He has f* closed over 50 girls.


What now?

 

[WellWornLad]

LOOKS ARE THE MOST important quality!

Two words: Serge Gainsbourg

The guy was ugly incarnate, but he pulled more women than you'll ever meet.

 

[AlexMorph]

My roommate:

1. works at radio shack
2. smells
3. lives with his mom (IN THE SAME ROOM)
4 fat

He has f* closed over 50 girls.


What now?

your roommate lives with his mom in the same room.
you, presumably, live with your roommate.
so your apt. is you, him, and his mom?

how did you even agree to that? is it not awkward?

 

[surag]

your roommate lives with his mom in the same room.
you, presumably, live with your roommate.
so your apt. is you, him, and his mom?

how did you even agree to that? is it not awkward?

Dude...this guy just lies through his nose. I'm sure you recognized that and posted this in jest...but...to put things in perspective.

he claimed he was 15 and that he would be the next dougie houser MD and that he was halfway through his engineering degree yet looked like a 20+ year old in the pictures he posted of himself(claimed).

He claims he works for a pharmaceutical company full time(so he's a student and an employee).

He claimed that he scores with countless women and that he spends hours in the gym yet he also has time to play 10000 hours of ONE GAME.

So:

he's a student/employee. Works out regularly to maintain a very fit physique(his claim). Also has time to play 10,000 hours of ONE GAME. Also has time to pick up hot chics. Now has the claim that he's got a roommate who lives with his mom...so he lives with that mom as well.

How nice.

And he would like to tell you how to hook up with girls....he knows everything!

 

[surag]

Two words: Serge Gainsbourg

The guy was ugly incarnate, but he pulled more women than you'll ever meet.

Ahhhh but looks are the most important thing in the WORLD. MOST IMPORTANT. OK???

SERIOUSLY. LOOKS ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT. unless you are blonde, blue eyed with fair skin and 6 feet you will not be attractive. Unless you have a ripped physique you are not attractive. OK?

You must also dress VERY FASHIONABLY. Metro Sexual is nothing but an insult created by the ugly. YOU MUST WAX. You must prim and make your hair proper.

You must wear fashion from DG and Gucci. Ralph Lauren is a no no. Its for normal people.

 

[ChimpanzeeMinky]

My roommate:

1. works at radio shack
2. smells
3. lives with his mom (IN THE SAME ROOM)
4 fat

He has f* closed over 50 girls.


What now?

f* closed? If you want to be taken seriously, drop language such as this that you've convinced yourself makes you sound "cool" but to everyone else makes you sound like a ******.

 

[PSUtoMD]

He has f* closed over 50 girls.


What now?

It's exceedingly difficult to take anything you say seriously when you use "PUA terminology" like this all the time.

Edit: Didn't even read the post above me that asserted essentially the exact same thing. So, there you go.

 

[aloepathic]

OK, this has gotten to be too much. Everyone should read the following article, it explains a lot of the ... behavior that's been occurring lately on these threads

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/03/magazine/03trolls-t.html

In related news, FTLOG
:troll:

 

[Perrotfish]

OK, this has gotten to be too much. Everyone should read the following article, it explains a lot of the ... behavior that's been occurring lately on these threads

The problem is that the kind of personality that the (pre)medical online community tends to attract is every bit as akward/hateful as the deliberate trolls from the b. That's what makes dealing with 'trolls' so difficult: if they're capable of good grammer it's pretty much impossible to differentiate a troll from a dickish premed.

 

[WellWornLad]

OK, this has gotten to be too much. Everyone should read the following article, it explains a lot of the ... behavior that's been occurring lately on these threads

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/03/magazine/03trolls-t.html

In related news, FTLOG
:troll:

Truly, proof that being a troll is its own punishment. Those photos look like something out of The Onion.

 

[surag]

well he's no longer on probation. perhaps that explains why he's back on trolling.

 

[MsKrispyKreme]

your roommate lives with his mom in the same room.
you, presumably, live with your roommate.
so your apt. is you, him, and his mom?

how did you even agree to that? is it not awkward?

LMAO!

By the way, does "closed" mean "had sex with", "dated", or "got their phone #"? I'm not familiar with all of this ugly guy slang...

 

[NotSur]

My goodness. There goes my plan to put off dating until medical school. Please please please let me end up in an urban school!

 

[PSUtoMD]

Well, looks like I might end up single again. The girl I've been seeing for a few months doesn't seem to be very happy about this whole "I have to study all the time" thing. I told her M2 was gonna be more difficult/timeconsuming than the first year, but she apparently didn't believe me.

I'm sure some superstars out there can juggle med school/a full time relationship/8 jobs/research in 14 labs, but for me, even keeping her happy on top of all the work I have to do is tough.

 

[AlexMorph]

Well, looks like I might end up single again. The girl I've been seeing for a few months doesn't seem to be very happy about this whole "I have to study all the time" thing. I told her M2 was gonna be more difficult/timeconsuming than the first year, but she apparently didn't believe me.

I'm sure some superstars out there can juggle med school/a full time relationship/8 jobs/research in 14 labs, but for me, even keeping her happy on top of all the work I have to do is tough.

that sucks, bro. it just depends on the kind of woman you are seeing. some are willing to let study come first, some are not. the kind that let study come first DO exist though, they are just a little harder to find.

 

[PSUtoMD]

some are willing to let study come first, some are not. the kind that let study come first DO exist though, they are just a little harder to find.

Yeah. She says she is, but then she gives me a hard time about it anyway. She even called me "boring" the other day because I reminded her that I don't take a night off the week of an exam.

 

[aggie08]

My goodness. There goes my plan to put off dating until medical school. Please please please let me end up in an urban school!

It just depends who you date.

I am married....and 100% happily at that.

Find someone who enjoys learning as much as you do and can study with you sometimes. I am blessed to have a husband who can do some of his work from the coffee shop if he has evening stuff to finish up. If not that, find someone who will read or take a lap top and just hang out with you. It just takes effort from both sides. My free time is not spent getting drunk with my classmates, it is instead spent watching movies/going on dates/spending time with my husband.

You just can't "date" frivolously in Medical School....as in a new person every week. Find someone who can put up with this lifestyle that is worth effort and put in the work and you will be fine.

Do not, however, expect to date the frat boys from the local college or the new graduates just experiencing the business world for the first time.

 

[NotSur]

It just depends who you date. ---

You just can't "date" frivolously in Medical School....as in a new person every week. Find someone who can put up with this lifestyle that is worth effort and put in the work and you will be fine.

Do not, however, expect to date the frat boys from the local college or the new graduates just experiencing the business world for the first time.

lol! don't worry! not my type at all! it just seems like a lot of effort which sort of kills a bit of the purpose of a relationship. i'd like to stay unmarried for a bit longer. med school is "heavy" enough. i'll focus on getting in first though. =)

 

[ChemEngSoonMD]

your roommate lives with his mom in the same room.
you, presumably, live with your roommate.
so your apt. is you, him, and his mom?

how did you even agree to that? is it not awkward?

My old roommates disbanded because they found jobs an hour away so they moved down to San Diego. I rented a master bedroom off Craigslist from some guy who buys houses and just rents out the rooms. I actually have many roommates, the kid and his mom is just living in one of the rooms. I moved in since I got a killer deal. Just finished unpacking this week.

Dude...this guy just lies through his nose. I'm sure you recognized that and posted this in jest...but...to put things in perspective.

he claimed he was 15 and that he would be the next dougie houser MD and that he was halfway through his engineering degree yet looked like a 20+ year old in the pictures he posted of himself(claimed).

He claims he works for a pharmaceutical company full time(so he's a student and an employee).

He claimed that he scores with countless women and that he spends hours in the gym yet he also has time to play 10000 hours of ONE GAME.

So:

he's a student/employee. Works out regularly to maintain a very fit physique(his claim). Also has time to play 10,000 hours of ONE GAME. Also has time to pick up hot chics. Now has the claim that he's got a roommate who lives with his mom...so he lives with that mom as well.

How nice.

And he would like to tell you how to hook up with girls....he knows everything!

LOL, you are just fun to mess with. You are the one to call me 14 and I just played along with it. I'm 26 years old and I just work. I didn't really start going to the gym till after I graduated. I did play those games in college. I don't feel like buying a house now because I don't know where med school will take me 2 years from now. Its funny you cant seem to put the pieces together.

 

[MsKrispyKreme]

Dude is like the Virginia Tech psycho...