:( I can't believe this...

[TexanGal]

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Hey everyone! Hope all is well.

I just wanted to share something that has happened recently... and I'd love some advice

My Kaplan teacher, who also happens to go to my school and is a wonderful friend of mine, is extremely brilliant (as I'm sure most of you are.) He got above a 36 on his MCATs, applied on time this past cycle, and did amazing on all of his interviews. He got accepted into all Texas schools except for San Antonio (because of the lack of biochemistry). So basically, he can go anywhere he wants- including UT Southwestern.

We've all been asking him for the past few weeks where he has decided he wants to go and he says he's not sure... but probably not Southwestern. Anyway, that's irrelevant.

The point is, Monday was our last Kaplan class before the January MCAT, and he was still indecisive. Today I saw him in the library and we chatted for a little bit. Then I noticed he was on the PCAT website. I asked him why? He said he was going to register for it & that he didn't want to go to medical school anymore because he doesn't have the motivation to get through it and is not willing to put up with the life style.

Honestly I flipped **** (sorry I'm 19, we talk like that.) He's been accepted into medical school and he has decided he doesn't want to do it. I'd understand if he has a SOLID reason, but I know he's just terrified right now. He can pick specialties that don't necessarily have too much of a rigorous life style. And I KNOW he is smart enough to get through medical school.

I really would love to give him advice so that he doesn't make a huge mistake. Like I said, if he had a good reason I would let it go... but he doesn't. I don't know.

And what's funny is he was saying he doesn't want to leave his family (who he is with right now.) But he doesn't have to? He's accepted at SOUTHWESTERN which is in our backyard. And anyway, if he applied to pharmacy school and gets in... he'll have to go down to Austin or something?

It just doesn't make sense and it's really upsetting me. He's my Kaplan teacher! I want to know why he suddenly had this change of heart! After keeping a 4.0 GPA, rocking his MCATs, and going through the crazy application and interview process!

 

[ChubbyChaser]

Pharmacy is a rather prestigious profession and is fairly difficult. I dont think hes neccessarily making a mistake just because hes had a change of heart.

 

[Dissected]

Ultimately its up to him...he has chosen a much less stressful lifestyle (no matter what specialty) by deciding not to go to med school. Maybe he just needed to know that he could do it, but doesn't want the life of a doc! I dunno, I feel like just because you can go to med school doesn't mean you should if its not for you.

 

[Narmerguy]

Ultimately its up to him...he has chosen a much less stressful lifestyle (no matter what specialty) by deciding not to go to med school. Maybe he just needed to know that he could do it, but doesn't want the life of a doc! I dunno, I feel like just because you can go to med school doesn't mean you should if its not for you.

I agree, I think a lot of people are interested if they can stand up to the challenge but not necessarily interested in becoming a physician (or whatever difficult goal they strive for).

 

[Twiigg]

Wow. Well, it's hard for us to imagine making that decision at the point where he is now; however, ultimately, it is his decision.

By the way, he may have a perfectly good reason and just not want to tell you.

 

[aebvd97]

Sounds like someone has a crush

 

[Dr Roboto]

Intelligence isn't the only thing that will get you through med school. Motivation is vital and arguably even more important than intelligence.

 

[nellia]

better he decides now that he doesn't want to go to med school than when my friend did.. right before her fourth year.. of med school..

 

[Dissected]

Sounds like someone has a crush

 

[DrYoda]

If he doesn't want to put up with the lifestyle and doesn't feel he is motivated to go through with it. Then it sounds like he made the right decision, and has saved himself four years and tens of thousands of dollars that some people spend to figure that out.

He's been accepted into medical school and he has decided he doesn't want to do it. I'd understand if he has a SOLID reason, but I know he's just terrified right now. He can pick specialties that don't necessarily have too much of a rigorous life style. And I KNOW he is smart enough to get through medical school.

Your logic here seems somewhat faulty, raw capability does not imply necessity. Lots of people are smart enough to be doctors, but have other interests.

 

[beachblonde]

Simply not wanting to go to medical school is a very solid reason to not go.

In order to put up will all of the crap, all of the studying, the insane hours, etc, you need to want to be there. Being smart is not sufficient. You have to have an internal drive and the motivation to do the work. If he doesn't want to go, he doesn't want to go. And that's ok. I'm sure he's aware of what his options are, and is thinking it all through.

If you want to be a good friend to him, just listen to him and support his decision. He's hardly throwing his life away by not going to med school and opting for pharm instead.

 

[closer23]

I think most of the responses are missing the point. The way I interpret the OP is that her friend seems to be making a rash, thoughtless change in his direction and may or may not be making the right decision.

With that being said, I have nothing else to add..

 

[Depakote]

You have to know medicine is right for you to make it through the parts of med school that are just a long grinding pain in the ass... to say nothing of residency.

If this guy was smart enough to realize his calling lies elsewhere before accumulating a few hundred thousand dollars in debt and taking a seat from someone that really wants to be in school, more power to him and don't try to convince him otherwise.

 

[armybound]

I think it's good for him. More of us should take the blinders off and realize there are other professions which are similar, but less expensive and less demanding.

My mom constantly tries to talk me out of becoming a physician. She'd much prefer I have a real life and be a pharmacist.

 

[OncoCaP]

Hey everyone! Hope all is well.

I just wanted to share something that has happened recently... and I'd love some advice

My Kaplan teacher, who also happens to go to my school and is a wonderful friend of mine, is extremely brilliant (as I'm sure most of you are.) He got above a 36 on his MCATs, applied on time this past cycle, and did amazing on all of his interviews. He got accepted into all Texas schools except for San Antonio (because of the lack of biochemistry). So basically, he can go anywhere he wants- including UT Southwestern.

We've all been asking him for the past few weeks where he has decided he wants to go and he says he's not sure... but probably not Southwestern. Anyway, that's irrelevant.

The point is, Monday was our last Kaplan class before the January MCAT, and he was still indecisive. Today I saw him in the library and we chatted for a little bit. Then I noticed he was on the PCAT website. I asked him why? He said he was going to register for it & that he didn't want to go to medical school anymore because he doesn't have the motivation to get through it and is not willing to put up with the life style.

Honestly I flipped **** (sorry I'm 19, we talk like that.) He's been accepted into medical school and he has decided he doesn't want to do it. I'd understand if he has a SOLID reason, but I know he's just terrified right now. He can pick specialties that don't necessarily have too much of a rigorous life style. And I KNOW he is smart enough to get through medical school.

I really would love to give him advice so that he doesn't make a huge mistake. Like I said, if he had a good reason I would let it go... but he doesn't. I don't know.

And what's funny is he was saying he doesn't want to leave his family (who he is with right now.) But he doesn't have to? He's accepted at SOUTHWESTERN which is in our backyard. And anyway, if he applied to pharmacy school and gets in... he'll have to go down to Austin or something?

It just doesn't make sense and it's really upsetting me. He's my Kaplan teacher! I want to know why he suddenly had this change of heart! After keeping a 4.0 GPA, rocking his MCATs, and going through the crazy application and interview process!

You have a crush on this guy don't you? Nothing wrong with that. Just be aware of any potential emotional involvement when it comes to giving career advice and a potential "rescue" love tendency (even if you don't mean that, you should be aware that it could be (mis)interpreted that way).

In any case, I'm fairly sure you wouldn't be writing this if you thought your teacher was just logically connecting the dots in a way that seemed consistent with sensible decision making the he should be capable of. On the one hand there is nothing wrong with deciding to go a different direction; becoming a physician isn't for everyone. On the other hand, you seem to suggest that there is something not quite right here ... that he might really like to become a physician but there is an issue, whether fear, depression, lack of confidence, or just poor judgment. It could be that you can't imagine not going to medical school if one had the opportunity or it could be, as you seem to suggest, that he might really want to go but there is something throwing him off track, whether it's a misunderstanding of the medical profession (not uncommon) or a personal problem.

In terms of providing informal career advice, probably the best thing you could do is just to ask him more about how he figured out that medicine wasn't right for him and what interests him about pharmacy and ask about those parts that don't make sense to you. Sometimes just talking things out helps identify simple errors in decision making. If there is a bigger issue here, probably the best thing you could do is suggest that he talk to a career counselor, pre-med adviser, or someone else who understands the different concerns and how to assess them before he makes a big mistake. If he really does want to go to medical school and is just confused about something he may never get that chance again if he turns a school down now.

 

[nVictus]

unless youre 100% set on becoming a doctor, when you reach the point he has, you'll understand what it means. he's on the verge of making the biggest decision of his life and it's a decision that he would probably not be able to correct if it's the wrong choice.

i tend not to voice my concerns about the subject since this is SDN and one would get bashed more often than not for being anything other than happy with acceptances.... but ive been having doubts too and i wouldn't be ok with myself if i didn't think it over. for some, it's a no-brainer, go to UTSW and become a prestigous doctor from a prestigous school... for others, not so much.

like someone else said in this thread, it takes more than intelligence to make it through med school. it takes dedication and sacrifice; virtues i thought i had up until i was accepted but now i dont know anymore. we're all grown up now and it's time make a decision.

 

[NurWollen]

I think this guy did the right thing, not wasting his time and money on something he doesn't want to do, but I also see the OP's dissapointment. We put so much into getting into med school and I for one just feel like it's a great field and I feel dissapointed when someone decides against it...like they are rejecting the thing we have in common. Imagine you have a hobby that you really like, and you have a friend with the same hobby. Then if that person tells you that he doesn't want to participate any more in that hobby, then you're going to b dissapointed. Of course, med school is a lot more than a hobby, with a lot more on the line, so I guess he probably made the right decision.

 

[umean2tellme]

It's cheaper to decide that now than after you start. Just because you're smart doesn't mean you should be a physician. He doesn't feel like he wants to deal with the rigors of doc-life. I don't know if going to pharm school is all that much easier tho but the world needs good pharmacists so he's still doing something positive. It's not like he's decided to forget about medical school to become a gangster or something.

 

[Kaustikos]

You have to know medicine is right for you to make it through the parts of med school that are just a long grinding pain in the ass... to say nothing of residency.

If this guy was smart enough to realize his calling lies elsewhere before accumulating a few hundred thousand dollars in debt and taking a seat from someone that really wants to be in school, more power to him and don't try to convince him otherwise.

Seriously. Don't try to encourage him just because he's "smart enough".

 

[cheshir3]

Originally posted by TexanGal

He's been accepted into medical school and he has decided he doesn't want to do it. I'd understand if he has a SOLID reason, but I know he's just terrified right now. He can pick specialties that don't necessarily have too much of a rigorous life style. And I KNOW he is smart enough to get through medical school.

Did he sit down and tell you his reason isn't solid? Because, quite frankly, it is very presumptuous to say HIS reason for HIS decision isn't good enough according to YOU. So he has great grades and was accepted to a lot of schools...That is meaningless if he doesn't honestly feel medicine is right for him and he can handle that lifestyle. Plenty of my friends are incredibly smart and are in various healthcare fields, and even considered medicine. Ultimately however, they realized that 1. medicine isn't the end-all be-all to healhcare careers, as much as some people here on SDN try to make it out to be and 2. intellecual ability =/= prescribed career path.

It's easy for us to sit back and say how easy it will be once we get into med school, but it's hard. Pharmacy school is hard too--I don't understand why so many people here seem to think pharmacy is so easy and lame compared to medicine--but once he graduates pharmacy school, he has one year of optional residency and then he's done. No more years of sleep deprivation, not seeing family, watching the interest on student loans increase, etc.

I say congrats to him that he realized now that this isn't the right path for him. Better now than 3 or 4 years from now when he's piling up even more debt and taking up a spot at school some other student could have.

 

[AZFutureDoc]

I know from experience that Kaplan teachers have lied about this stuff in the past. I know mine bragged to the class about how cool he was, but I ended up meeting a guy who is good friends with my teacher, and the beans got spilled...

Seriously, at the end of the day, what proof do you have of anything your teacher tells you? Besides what he says to people who have paid a crap load of money to learn from him, there really is not much.

 

[cdcd67]

I don't think your friend is making the wrong decision here and I agree with all the posts above. It definitely won't be a piece of cake to get through medical school, so you have think twice before jumping into it.

I am a sophomore in college..and I have always wanted to be a doctor (yeah..sounds cliched)...but now, I am also beginning to rethink my path. Some of the friends were shocked as well because they think I am hastening my decision, but honestly, it all depends on the person; you can be really smart...but perhaps you just want a better life.

 

[mbe36]

Hey, if it will make him happy I am rather excited for the guy.

 

[cbrons]

Hey everyone! Hope all is well.

I just wanted to share something that has happened recently... and I'd love some advice

My Kaplan teacher, who also happens to go to my school and is a wonderful friend of mine, is extremely brilliant (as I'm sure most of you are.) He got above a 36 on his MCATs, applied on time this past cycle, and did amazing on all of his interviews. He got accepted into all Texas schools except for San Antonio (because of the lack of biochemistry). So basically, he can go anywhere he wants- including UT Southwestern.

We've all been asking him for the past few weeks where he has decided he wants to go and he says he's not sure... but probably not Southwestern. Anyway, that's irrelevant.

The point is, Monday was our last Kaplan class before the January MCAT, and he was still indecisive. Today I saw him in the library and we chatted for a little bit. Then I noticed he was on the PCAT website. I asked him why? He said he was going to register for it & that he didn't want to go to medical school anymore because he doesn't have the motivation to get through it and is not willing to put up with the life style.

Honestly I flipped **** (sorry I'm 19, we talk like that.) He's been accepted into medical school and he has decided he doesn't want to do it. I'd understand if he has a SOLID reason, but I know he's just terrified right now. He can pick specialties that don't necessarily have too much of a rigorous life style. And I KNOW he is smart enough to get through medical school.

I really would love to give him advice so that he doesn't make a huge mistake. Like I said, if he had a good reason I would let it go... but he doesn't. I don't know.

And what's funny is he was saying he doesn't want to leave his family (who he is with right now.) But he doesn't have to? He's accepted at SOUTHWESTERN which is in our backyard. And anyway, if he applied to pharmacy school and gets in... he'll have to go down to Austin or something?

It just doesn't make sense and it's really upsetting me. He's my Kaplan teacher! I want to know why he suddenly had this change of heart! After keeping a 4.0 GPA, rocking his MCATs, and going through the crazy application and interview process!

Ask him if he would rather be in school or deal with overweight and self entitled welfare recipients all day (retail pharmacy)... oh wait he's in Texas... maybe hes okay then

 

[cdcd67]

Ask him if he would rather be in school or deal with overweight and self entitled welfare recipients all day (retail pharmacy)... oh wait he's in Texas... maybe hes okay then

He doesn't have to do retail pharmacy....he could do clinical pharmacy and then he will get to work in a hospital too.

 

[dienekes88]

You definitely have to know medicine's for you to do it, but it sounds to me like a case of cold feet. I too was really nervous right before starting medical school. I even went out and bought Netter's over the summer.

However, medical school hasn't been anywhere near as difficult as I thought it would be. Sure, I study a lot, but I find most of it interesting. It's not difficult to work hard when you're genuinely interested in the material. On top of that, I still race bikes, find the time to make french pastry, and have a couple drinks every so often.

I go to a pass/fail school, though.

Don't get me wrong. It's a lot of work. I just don't think it's that painful to work hard.

 

[diosa428]

Ask him if he would rather be in school or deal with overweight and self entitled welfare recipients all day (retail pharmacy)... oh wait he's in Texas... maybe hes okay then

Hahahahaha. Wait until you hit the wards. The overweight, hypertensive, diabetic, non-compliant, self-entitled crowd has to get their prescriptions from somewhere.

 

[175961]

In the end its his decision, who are you to tell him what he should or shouldnt do?? If hes smart enough to do as well as he has I'm sure hes smart enough to make this type of decision on his own.

 

[TexanGal]

LOL. Thanks for the input everybody!

Believe it or not I actually do not have a crush on him He's a good friend of mine.

I knew you guys would say things like it's his decision... as if I didn't already know that. I just want to support him because I feel like he's going through a crisis which he might regret later.

Actually. I saw him today... and he has changed his mind. I think he himself thinks he's gone too far to turn back now But now, on the other hand, it would be bad of him to just continue because he feels he has already done so much!

I don't know. I pray he makes the right decisions for him & knows he has people who are supporting him.

 

[gl0baltrader]

Hey everyone! Hope all is well.

I just wanted to share something that has happened recently... and I'd love some advice

My Kaplan teacher, who also happens to go to my school and is a wonderful friend of mine, is extremely brilliant (as I'm sure most of you are.) He got above a 36 on his MCATs, applied on time this past cycle, and did amazing on all of his interviews. He got accepted into all Texas schools except for San Antonio (because of the lack of biochemistry). So basically, he can go anywhere he wants- including UT Southwestern.

We've all been asking him for the past few weeks where he has decided he wants to go and he says he's not sure... but probably not Southwestern. Anyway, that's irrelevant.

The point is, Monday was our last Kaplan class before the January MCAT, and he was still indecisive. Today I saw him in the library and we chatted for a little bit. Then I noticed he was on the PCAT website. I asked him why? He said he was going to register for it & that he didn't want to go to medical school anymore because he doesn't have the motivation to get through it and is not willing to put up with the life style.

Honestly I flipped **** (sorry I'm 19, we talk like that.) He's been accepted into medical school and he has decided he doesn't want to do it. I'd understand if he has a SOLID reason, but I know he's just terrified right now. He can pick specialties that don't necessarily have too much of a rigorous life style. And I KNOW he is smart enough to get through medical school.

I really would love to give him advice so that he doesn't make a huge mistake. Like I said, if he had a good reason I would let it go... but he doesn't. I don't know.

And what's funny is he was saying he doesn't want to leave his family (who he is with right now.) But he doesn't have to? He's accepted at SOUTHWESTERN which is in our backyard. And anyway, if he applied to pharmacy school and gets in... he'll have to go down to Austin or something?

It just doesn't make sense and it's really upsetting me. He's my Kaplan teacher! I want to know why he suddenly had this change of heart! After keeping a 4.0 GPA, rocking his MCATs, and going through the crazy application and interview process!

I applaud his decision for being honest with himself. I have a friend who had similar stats ( 2 bachelor degrees & 36+ MCAT) who decided that she wanted to keep her current lifestyle. And I think its better than quiting in the middle of his medical school.

 

[DaddyOAK]

I did something quite similar to your friend/teacher. I was going to suggest simply coming out and asking him if there was more to his decision, but it appears he's come back. My reasons were simply a change in passions, no moments of panic. Besides, I realized I'd rather be fixing errors than making them! (yes, I'm teasing!) Seriously, it's not something to worry about if you're concerned that after all this work you may have a similar moment of panic. Some people legitimately just decide they would rather do one than the other because something was realized that appealed to them. A change of heart doesn't mean they no longer like the previous option.

Anyway, your posts seemed to have the aura of worry that the same thing could happen to you so you wanted to find out what the reason was to avoid it. If that's not the case, then I apologize.

 

[nka1985]

Simply not wanting to go to medical school is a very solid reason to not go.

In order to put up will all of the crap, all of the studying, the insane hours, etc, you need to want to be there. Being smart is not sufficient. You have to have an internal drive and the motivation to do the work. If he doesn't want to go, he doesn't want to go. And that's ok. I'm sure he's aware of what his options are, and is thinking it all through.

If you want to be a good friend to him, just listen to him and support his decision. He's hardly throwing his life away by not going to med school and opting for pharm instead.

SOOO true. If you don't want to be in med school there is a good chance you won't even make it through the pre-clinical years, at least without being miserable.

Med school is a BIG decision to make. It not only decides what your profession will be it defines some things in your life. Example: My husband and I have been talking kids and we had to look not only at when we are emotionally and financially ready, but also when it will best fit in my school-residency-fellowship-practice schedule.

 

[smq123]

He's been accepted into medical school and he has decided he doesn't want to do it. I'd understand if he has a SOLID reason, but I know he's just terrified right now. He can pick specialties that don't necessarily have too much of a rigorous life style. And I KNOW he is smart enough to get through medical school.

I really would love to give him advice so that he doesn't make a huge mistake. Like I said, if he had a good reason I would let it go... but he doesn't. I don't know.

- He may be "smart enough to get through medical school," but is he dedicated enough? That's the more important question.

- It's not really any of your business what he does. He's not a relative, not your boyfriend, and not your husband. If he wants to be a pharmacist instead, then it really shouldn't matter to you either way. If he didn't ask you for advice, it's not your place to give it to him.

- Choosing to be a trapeze artist instead of going to medical school is a "huge mistake." Choosing to spend your life on a street corner, playing a tambourine for a living, is a "huge mistake." Choosing to go to pharmacy school instead of medical school is NOT a "huge mistake." Let's keep things in perspective here.

- You don't really know his motivations for choosing not to go to medical school. He may have solid reasons that he, for whatever reason, has decided not to share with you. Maybe he knows that, deep down, he doesn't like sick or dying people. That's fair, to be honest. Or maybe he just doesn't want to spend 7-12 years of his life in debt, working 80 hours a week, 5-6 days a week. That's also fair.

And please remember that the specialties that don't have a rigorous lifestyle have other rigorous aspects to them, though. Derm has a great lifestyle....but you have to kill yourself through 4 years of medical school (and apply to >75 programs) just to get in. They only take the best and the competition is getting stiffer each year.

Or breast surgery, which also has a relatively good lifestyle. In order to be a breast surgeon, you have to survive 6 years of a general surgery residency....which is kind of a high price to pay.

Second of all, I agree with others who think you have a crush on this guy. Your fantasy of him becoming a doctor, just like you, and then marrying him and having beautiful children together (two girls, one boy) who go on to become doctors themselves and care for you and your husband as the both of you hold hands and walk into the sunset together is frankly, falling apart.

To be fair to the OP, I doubt that she actually has a crush on her Kaplan instructor/friend.

I think that she's suddenly worried that she, too, might change her mind one day. After all, her friend seems cut out for medical school! He's funny, nice to people, and brilliant....he "SHOULD" be a doctor!!

Now, suddenly, this guy who seemed destined for medical school (and jumped through the numerous mandatory hoops) has changed his mind. And I think that this is scaring the OP into wondering whether she, like him, will put in the effort to get to med school, only to change her mind at the last minute.

It's not the end of the world if he goes to pharm school instead of med school. <shrug> I wouldn't worry too much about it, to be honest.

 

[TexanGal]

I realize my original explanation of the situation was a little bit melodramatic. I should have been a little bit more eloquent and less general. I know it's not a HUGE mistake if he doesn't go to medical school. I just meant that he might regret it later by rushing into a decision he wasn't really thinking about.

And to all of you who are saying that I'm worried about him because I could be him in a year... you're right. I want this so much- but at the same time, I don't know if I want to sacrifice my youth for it. Frankly, by the time you are a physician... your youth is gone. And I know for me, as an Arab, it is especially hard because women generally do not work but instead stay home as homemakers and nurturers. Not to say it is not hard for other people... but I don't really have anybody backing me up.

I realize it's my life and I know that I want to go for this We all have our reasons.

I think a lot of what I dont' understand is how he got through his personal statement and the interview process without being fully convinced himself that he wants to be a doctor. People are making it out to be SUCH a big deal that you need to know EXACTLY why you want to be a doctor and have an amazing reason to back it up besides "oh I've been playing doctor ever since I was 3."

Anyway. Thanks again for the input. I'd love for him to read a lot of what you have to say