- Joined
- Dec 20, 2009
- Messages
- 292
- Reaction score
- 40
I've posted this in a previous thread but I believe this is more appropriate in this Thread.
Hey everybody,
I just needed to get this off of my chest..... I feel like I've had some TERRIBLE luck from 2011-2016. At the end of 2010, I had recovered from a poor freshman year and Fall semester of sophomore year. Everything seemed to be falling into place and going well but from 2011 onwards things went downhill, I had both my grandparents pass away exactly a month apart from each other overseas (2011), my house caught on fire from a lightning bolt, which forced us to live away from our house for more than a year (2011), a girl was VERY unkind to me and played around with my emotions during the tumultuous times of 2011, my autistic brother was EXTREMELY challenging for all of us to deal with during 2011 and 2012, my maternal grandmother passed away in 2013 from complications from having a stroke from 2012, friends graduated/forgot about me and abandoned me/some didn't treat me well and were unkind/never seemed to want to hang out or spend time together much and I isolated myself socially, a few other incidents happened with girls not treating me well/being unkind/leading me on in 2013 and 2016, my mother got diagnosed with breast cancer (Stage II with no spread to lymph nodes doing well now with amazing prognosis) at the end of 2014, and my maternal uncle passed away unexpectedly from alcoholism, major depression, and other reasons in 2016.
I'm now FINALLY back on track, after all of these years..... to add to all of this, I suffered from self-doubt, depression, and anxiety during these years (and to an extent today.) My grades took a MAJOR hit from 2011-2013(to some extent) I doubted, if this is what I wanted to do with my life for a while because I have to do a Masters for a year for redemption/these occurences (that I am starting in a few days) and get the needed score on the MCAT.
I didn't know, if I REALLY wanted to do this, and I was thinking of going a totally different route entirely because of my self-doubt and wondering, if I would be making a mistake going into medicine and wouldn't be happy. My friends who had decided to pursue medicine and other physicians also "scared" me into thinking of not going into medicine from their experiences. I don't know what happened to me, but I had lost all my motivation and drive to pursue my goals. These struggles also made me have to graduate in five years and do a year of post-bacc to get my GPA to the minimum requirement to be considered for Masters/SMP programs. I know that I've had a lot of struggles and haven't been wasting time because I've needed the time to heal, but my mind keeps making me think that I have and that I should have started everything a bit sooner and that I am so/too old for this process?
I'm not trying to make excuses but is it just me, or have I had TERRIBLE luck over the years? Also, when I thought I had recovered and things were getting better, then another event would happen that would set me back, over those times and it did make me feel powerless to do anything to change my predicaments, quite angry, and worthless to some extent. I am 28 years old, and I feel like I just woke up and realized I've wasted quite a few years of my life and had them stolen from me unfairly to an extent..... has anyone else ever felt this way and how have you dealt with it and how your mind thinks and not care about your age? I know that I haven't though and that I've needed this time to get myself together and heal, even though my mind is making me think otherwise? Thank you all for your advice and insight..... it is greatly appreciated!!!!!
Hey everybody,
I just needed to get this off of my chest..... I feel like I've had some TERRIBLE luck from 2011-2016. At the end of 2010, I had recovered from a poor freshman year and Fall semester of sophomore year. Everything seemed to be falling into place and going well but from 2011 onwards things went downhill, I had both my grandparents pass away exactly a month apart from each other overseas (2011), my house caught on fire from a lightning bolt, which forced us to live away from our house for more than a year (2011), a girl was VERY unkind to me and played around with my emotions during the tumultuous times of 2011, my autistic brother was EXTREMELY challenging for all of us to deal with during 2011 and 2012, my maternal grandmother passed away in 2013 from complications from having a stroke from 2012, friends graduated/forgot about me and abandoned me/some didn't treat me well and were unkind/never seemed to want to hang out or spend time together much and I isolated myself socially, a few other incidents happened with girls not treating me well/being unkind/leading me on in 2013 and 2016, my mother got diagnosed with breast cancer (Stage II with no spread to lymph nodes doing well now with amazing prognosis) at the end of 2014, and my maternal uncle passed away unexpectedly from alcoholism, major depression, and other reasons in 2016.
I'm now FINALLY back on track, after all of these years..... to add to all of this, I suffered from self-doubt, depression, and anxiety during these years (and to an extent today.) My grades took a MAJOR hit from 2011-2013(to some extent) I doubted, if this is what I wanted to do with my life for a while because I have to do a Masters for a year for redemption/these occurences (that I am starting in a few days) and get the needed score on the MCAT.I didn't know, if I REALLY wanted to do this, and I was thinking of going a totally different route entirely because of my self-doubt and wondering, if I would be making a mistake going into medicine and wouldn't be happy. My friends who had decided to pursue medicine and other physicians also "scared" me into thinking of not going into medicine from their experiences. I don't know what happened to me, but I had lost all my motivation and drive to pursue my goals. These struggles also made me have to graduate in five years and do a year of post-bacc to get my GPA to the minimum requirement to be considered for Masters/SMP programs. I know that I've had a lot of struggles and haven't been wasting time because I've needed the time to heal, but my mind keeps making me think that I have and that I should have started everything a bit sooner and that I am so/too old for this process?
I'm not trying to make excuses but is it just me, or have I had TERRIBLE luck over the years? Also, when I thought I had recovered and things were getting better, then another event would happen that would set me back, over those times and it did make me feel powerless to do anything to change my predicaments, quite angry, and worthless to some extent. I am 28 years old, and I feel like I just woke up and realized I've wasted quite a few years of my life and had them stolen from me unfairly to an extent..... has anyone else ever felt this way and how have you dealt with it and how your mind thinks and not care about your age? I know that I haven't though and that I've needed this time to get myself together and heal, even though my mind is making me think otherwise? Thank you all for your advice and insight..... it is greatly appreciated!!!!!
