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I got in but halfway through applying my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.

Discussion in 'Pre-Medical - MD' started by VeblenGoodsman, Dec 7, 2016.

  1. VeblenGoodsman

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    I was interviewed and got accepted to an out-of-state school, but my mom was given just 2 years to live by her oncologist. She already had the primary tumor removed, but there's secondary tumors that require chemo.

    She's the primary income-earner of my household and her treatments have left her unable to work, but my extended family is stepping in to help.

    Should I withdraw and try again next cycle to attempt to get into nearby in-state schools and explain my reasons on my personal statement or risk my mom dying while I'm a thousand miles away.

    This is my second time applying, and both times I only got one interview total.

    MCAT 519, GPA 3.83. 22M, East Asian. 300+ hours volunteering in a level 1 trauma center ER. No research experience.
     
  2. Promethean

    Promethean Syncretist
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    You can tell the school what is going on in your life and see if there is any hope to defer your enrollment for a year.

    Your situation is pretty much why deferment is a thing.

    I'm sorry to hear about your mom.
     
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  3. wb100

    2+ Year Member

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    I'm so sorry.

    I know some people have tried to defer twice and you might be able to in your circumstance? I just know this from med students but it would help if @Goro @LizzyM could chime in.
     
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  4. gyngyn

    gyngyn Professor
    Moderator Physician Faculty Lifetime Donor Verified Expert Verified Account 7+ Year Member

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    Ask for a deferral.
    One year is standard. Re-assess at that time.
     
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  5. LoveBeingHuman:)

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    I'm so sorry to hear about your mom :(

    But yes, you should be able to get a deferral
     
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  6. Frogger27

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    OP what state are you from? Have you been rejected by this school yet? Maybe send your state school an update about your situation and mention that you have been accepted to an out of state school X but in your situation would attend state school in a second if possible
     
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  7. redferrari

    redferrari Membership Revoked
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    I don't know what your other EC's are, but perhaps you are a victim of yield protection at your state schools. If I were you, I'd immediately inquire about a deferral from schools that have accepted you. At the same time, reach out to your state schools and explain what's going on and that you would attend if accepted. There are many reasons I'm not the biggest fan of yield protection, but this is a big one, as state schools often punish their own for simply being high achievers.

    I am so sorry about your circumstances. I lost my mom to cancer a few years back, and she is my motivation every day in medical school. Treasure these times you have right now. My school grants deferrals for people who simply want to travel for a year or who "need a mental break." I'm fairly certain your reason is more deserving than theirs.
     
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  8. Goro

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    Very very sorry to hear this!

    If anyone has a valid reason to ask for a LOA, it is you.

    Ask your mom's oncologist about Nivolumab and other PD1 agonists. Their results can be quite striking. Also see if she can be enrolled in any clinical trials.

     
  9. JB50

    JB50 I'm really in I swear

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    I'm incredibly sorry opie. Obviously I think a deferral would be a great choice as you spend time with your family and your mother. I think down the road when things change you will be glad you took the time you did instead of going back to medical school and trying to balance it all out.

    Will be praying for you. Med school can wait.
     
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  10. gonnif

    gonnif Only 695 Days Until Next Presidential Election
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    My thoughts and prayers are with you. And to add to everyone above, request a deferment. If you need any help at all with the request, please do not hesitate to PM
     
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  11. ardeidae

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    I understand. My father has stage IV cancer, but we've known for a couple years and it definitely played into deciding where I would apply. If she can get referred to MD Anderson, those people are absolutely amazing and gave us hope back that he could beat the 2-4 year deadline an oncologist gave him. I agree with the above people, and please PM me if you need to talk.

    I would also ask your OOS acceptance what their policy is in such circumstances. I plan to go to re-visit weekends and be very honest about my expectation that my father is going to die while I'm in the MD-PhD and see what they have to say. They might be very understanding and let you take off as much time as you need if things get bad.
     
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  12. Skenti

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    Hey OP, I'm in a similar situation and just wanted to express my sympathy. Coping with my mom's diagnosis is the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. To give you some hope, my mom was given ~6 months and we just hit the 2 year mark!

    I really hate leaving for medical school but unfortunately I don't have an option...I didn't get into any state schools. I don't want to go but I don't have much of a choice. I'm so sorry for your situation. Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best! Hang in there.
     
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  13. ChemYoda

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    I am very sorry to hear about that OP, and I wish for the best outcome for you and your family.
     

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