I Messed Up So Bad; Don't Ever Do What I Did!!!

[dcowboyman]

I don't know how to begin this thread but I'm going to try.

I was a MS-1 at Northwestern Chicago Med back in 2002. I started online gambling when I was a senior in college, betting on college and professional sports. Sadly, the habit became out of control and I continue to wager online during my first year of medical school. I do not have much money so I always seem to gamble to try to pay for my rent, meals, books, etc. It was a total disaster.

Past forward two years. I won so much money, over $100,000 but eventually I lost it all. Present day consequences because of my compulsive gambling habit.
1) $95,000 in personal debts.
2) The following credit cards cancelled my account: American Express, MBNA America, Citibank, Providian because of failured to pay.
3) Bank account cancelled by Bank of America.
4) Creditors harrasing me everyday.
and............................................
5) I was kicked out of medical school because I failed a few of my courses more than once.

I know this sounds untrue, but it is to the letter. I am currently living my life with so much regrets.

Rewinding my life back three years, I was living a great life. No debt, well known and respected among family and peers, and a medical career in the horizon. My acceptance to Northwestern was very hard earned. I was on the verge of making it in the real world.

Anyhow, that's the story of my pathetic life. Literally, it's no more than **** right now because of gambling. I don't know if I will ever forgive myself but if killing yourself is not a sin, I would have done it a long time ago.

I hope no one has to go through what I went through. I have a brother who is in med school right now. I tell him everyday, don't **** up like your old bro. I cried because we were suppose to have a private practice together now he have to do it without me.

-S.R.

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[kinetic]

That suxs. Are you still trying to get back in? Or are you out for good?

 

[vandypatty]

Def scary b/c myself and a bunch of my friends love to gamble online over all sports. It's almost gotten to where we don't even know the teams we're betting on. I don't think it's out of control by any means, but I def sympathize with how out of hand it can be.

 

[Premedtomed]

man that's terrible

Seems like you spent a lot of time in front of the computer.

Warning to all you terds

 

[Psycho Doctor]

ouch, that's truly heartbreaking. But don't giv eup. You can get back in..reapply, pick up the pieces. if that's what you want to do, do it...never ever give up.

 

[Pinkertinkle]

You should have gambled in stocks and options instead.

 

[vandypatty]

Just as risky...I think not gambling at all may be a better option.

 

[Sirius Black]

I don't know if I will ever forgive myself but if killing yourself is not a sin, I would have done it a long time ago.

Isn't gambling a sin too, though?

 

[stinkycheese]

Isn't gambling a sin too, though?

Don't make light of suicidal references, please.

OP: I am sorry that all of this has happened to you. I know what it is to make mistakes that seem impossible to overcome. Would NU ever consider taking you back under probationary circumstances?

 

[Psycho Doctor]

yes they are all sins and so is so much more

but we can be forgiven for sins so life isn't over...

and besides i am not sure...if a person is truly saved, wouldn't they still go to heaven even if they committed suicide? once saved, always saved...I've pondered this for a long time

 

[MoosePilot]

I hope no one has to go through what I went through. I have a brother who is in med school right now. I tell him everyday, don't **** up like your old bro. I cried because we were suppose to have a private practice together now he have to do it without me.

-S.R.

Dude, that's rough.

I do believe you came out of it with your most valuable assets. You're still alive. You still have the intelligence that got you into med school. You've got your family. You've got a lot to continue living for.

Go see Dodgeball. It may seem cheesy, but when Lance Armstrong talked about quitting, it was really inspirational to me.

 

[aunaturel]

dodgeball is the funniest movie i've seen in a while. possibly better than old school. sorry to hear of your misfortune cowboy. god bless

 

[Mistress S]

Wow dcowboyman...what a sad story. If you haven't already, it seems like you might need to consider filing for bankruptcy. It's not an ideal option, but it could allow you to start over with a clean slate--unless you have another way to pay back your debt and get the creditors off your back. Many states have programs set up to help people with gambling addictions (at least I know my state does), if you aren't already getting help you might want to look into resources in your area (isn't there a national Gambler's Anonymous, like AA?) to help you understand your compulsion and avoid it in the future. It also sounds like you are understandably depressed, if you are at the point of contemplating suicide then you definitely should talk to someone about that too. As for med school, I don't know how possible it is to get back in if you are still interested--obviously it's not going to be an easy road, but I'm sure there have been others who have gotten back in after failing out. You might start by talking to your old school, Northwestern, as they know you personally and more about what happened and could possibly offer some advice about what steps you need to take. In any case, good luck to you. It is hard to crawl out of a hole, especially a self-made one, but it can and has been done by people in even worse situations than yours (if that is any consolation).

 

[Fumoffu]

Uh oh I play Texas Hold'Em on PartyPoker...

 

[samurai_lincoln]

Bankruptcy, brother. I would not hesitate for a second. Your credit options are already gone, so get that debt monkey off your back ASAP. Don't buy into that debt consolidation crap, and file Chapter 7. Heck, it doesn't even affect your eligibility for federal student loans, and you can get a mortgage on the same terms as anyone else after two years.

 

[kinetic]

This guy got kicked out of medical school and your advice is to go see 'Dodgeball'? Holy crap on a stick!

 

[exmike]

What is northwestern chicago med?

 

[kinetic]

I assume he means Northwestern University (of course, as a new poster, he could be playing us all for chumps, but whatever).

 

[exmike]

I assume he means Northwestern University.

Yeah, but i was also thinking CMS, since it is "northwestern chicago"

 

[pauleuglis]

This guy sounds like a troll if you ask me.

 

[Koppertone]

I bet you that this guy's story is made up. 20:1 odds. Any takers?? Come on come on!!

 

[thewzdoc]

This guy sounds like a troll if you ask me.

It?s a definite possibility?. (let's just give him the benefit of the doubt...it's not like it will hurt any of us)

My trolldar is down for repair after my Saturday Graduation. WOOTWOOT

 

[shadowy onion]

This guy sounds like a troll if you ask me.

Falls accross SDN for the first after being kicked out of med-school.
hmmm thats kind of interesting. One would think that with all the hours "gambling" online he would have some time to visit SDN before med-school.

 

[Fin-Nor]

i read an almost exactly the same thread about a year back... here on sdn also.

 

[FERDInand]

gambling addictions suck. my family just found out my uncle has lost a total of 750k in the last 5 years or so. i so could have used just like 10 of those dollars

 

[Childe]

why would anyone want to commit suicide for being in debt and failing out of med school? Hardly the worst that could happen.

 

[jeanslee]

This guy sounds like a troll if you ask me.

what's a troll?

also, what does OP stand for?

sorry - i'm fairly new here and am not too familiar with SDN vernacular.

 

[Tippy007]

Ditto on the troll comment. By the way, what exactly is a troll anyway?

 

[MoosePilot]

This guy got kicked out of medical school and your advice is to go see 'Dodgeball'? Holy crap on a stick!

What, once you get kicked out of med school you can't go see movies anymore? Learn to deal with people dealing with tragedy. You'll probably see a lot of them in your career.

Dodgeball was some funny stuff and I think he might need a laugh.

 

[Childe]

Ditto on the troll comment. By the way, what exactly is a troll anyway?

A troll is usually a gimmick account created to annoy everyone. By posting ******ed/untrue stories or by posting useless/off-topic crap in every thread.

OP is original poster.

 

[Chirurgien]

I don't know if I will ever forgive myself but if killing yourself is not a sin, I would have done it a long time ago.

-S.R.

Nothing is worth killing one's life over. If life gets to be unbearable at times, seek out help by talking to other people - friends, family, anybody. They can help guide you through the tough times and help you get your life back on track.

 

[mshheaddoc]

I bet you that this guy's story is made up. 20:1 odds. Any takers?? Come on come on!!

Can we take the odd's online?

 

[mshheaddoc]

This guy got kicked out of medical school and your advice is to go see 'Dodgeball'? Holy crap on a stick!

 

[medic170]

I don't know how to begin this thread but I'm going to try.

I was a MS-1 at Northwestern Chicago Med back in 2002. I started online gambling when I was a senior in college, betting on college and professional sports. Sadly, the habit became out of control and I continue to wager online during my first year of medical school. I do not have much money so I always seem to gamble to try to pay for my rent, meals, books, etc. It was a total disaster.

Past forward two years. I won so much money, over $100,000 but eventually I lost it all. Present day consequences because of my compulsive gambling habit.
1) $95,000 in personal debts.
2) The following credit cards cancelled my account: American Express, MBNA America, Citibank, Providian because of failured to pay.
3) Bank account cancelled by Bank of America.
4) Creditors harrasing me everyday.
and............................................
5) I was kicked out of medical school because I failed a few of my courses more than once.

I know this sounds untrue, but it is to the letter. I am currently living my life with so much regrets.

Rewinding my life back three years, I was living a great life. No debt, well known and respected among family and peers, and a medical career in the horizon. My acceptance to Northwestern was very hard earned. I was on the verge of making it in the real world.

Anyhow, that's the story of my pathetic life. Literally, it's no more than **** right now because of gambling. I don't know if I will ever forgive myself but if killing yourself is not a sin, I would have done it a long time ago.

I hope no one has to go through what I went through. I have a brother who is in med school right now. I tell him everyday, don't **** up like your old bro. I cried because we were suppose to have a private practice together now he have to do it without me.

-S.R.

That is pretty pathetic. It sucks to be you.

 

[Rose122]

That is pretty pathetic. It sucks to be you.

Wow, I thought I was an ass but you've just made me feel like a nice person. Thanks.

 

[PluckyDuk8]

Nobody who ever attended Northwestern would ever call it Northwestern Chicago Med. T-r-o-l-l.

 

[SanDiegoSOD]

Wow - I'm sorry to hear that; I know what its like to be addicted to gambling. Get back on your feet and get back to school, you're not out for the count...

 

[ForensicPath]

If I recall correctly, pathological gambling is a diagnosis in DSM-IV (as is alcoholism). If you are a compulsive gambler then you should seek professional help.

 

[Preet]

Troll?? I can't really say. Its just that some of us have been very fortunate and it is absolutely impossible for us to believe that such circumstances can befall on someone. But things like these do happen and yes, they can happen to the best of us... to any of us. I was a homeless once. During my undergrad years, I experienced some "messed up" circumstances. I "messed up" my grades too and had to take some time off. Then I got tired of feeling sorry of myself and I know you will too. I'm truly convinced that human spirit is unbreakable (even though we know how the MCATs and med school admission process can challenge it a little ) I turned my "mess ups" into a success story. I picked myself up, finished up my undergrad and one of the top 10 MPH programs. I'm currently a college instructor, finishing up my nursing degree, and will be ready to apply to med school in a couple of years. ( Phew... I was trying to say all that in one breath )

I agree with MoosePilot. You have everything in life: your health, your family, your intelligence, your sanity, etc.etc. You have everything to look forward to. You don't have to be a doctor to live a happy, satisfying life. But if thats what makes you happy, find a way to get back to it. Its never too late to pick up the pieces. NEVER!!!!!!!

And remember, your habits don't define you. Yes, you may have had a gambling problem. But all that matters is (to me atleast): Are you a good person inside? Do you have a good heart?

God Bless YOU

 

[Tippy007]

You can still turn your life around. It sounds like you should seek professional counselling, which can help. Good luck.