I think my personal statement is cliche

[kgamon8]

I am just in the beginnings of my essay, and usually what I do with writing is just letting it flow. I ended up writing about my mom's multiple sclerosis and how from a young age I was interested in how the disease worked, especially as my parents are both scientists and could explain it to me. And as she progressed, I decided to volunteer with other people facing disabilities. I just don't know how to specifically make it about wanting to be a physician as opposed to research or other healthcare fields that involve helping people. I didn't know I wanted to go to med school until this summer after a long day at the lab when it just clicked so I don't have a windy tale of personal growth.

And most of all I worry it is cliche. I don't want to *use* my mom's condition, but it really has affected me. Would it be better off to just talk about my extracurriculars?

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[Welshman]

Then it probably is....

Honestly everything is cliche until you put a new spin on it. When you boil it down there are really like 5 reasons people want to become physicians but it’s how they got their and how they tell you about it that makes it unique.

 

[Veni vidi vicii]

Well if that's how you got started and it affected you then say that. Just be honest and genuine. Despite whatever happens at least you know you meant what you said. Obviously, don't make it bland, boring, and original. Also, make it easy and enjoyable to read. Eazy Peazy my friend, people tend to overcomplicate there PS so much.

 

[MDPedigree]

Every single personal statement I have read seemed to be cliché in my opinion.. including my own. My guess is 98% of personal statements are like that, and so they're really not make or break.

When I started writing drafts of my PS, I did write about some unique experiences I had that helped me down this path, but ultimately the people who reviewed my statement all said that it was inappropriate and controversial to include those in a med school personal statement. I ended up submitting a PS I was not happy with, but that I knew would be "good enough" to get the job done despite being cliche. I was playing it safe.

 

[MedicalDoge]

Do not be afraid to talk about your mother's condition. I talked about my father's in my PS, but I didn't make it the main focus. I kind of made it the cohesive "tying together" factor if that makes sense. Just write from the heart and you'll do great!

 

[kb1900]

It’s a fine topic for a ps but don’t make everything about it.

 

[Nathan17182]

In my PS, I told the story of my sister having a stroke and then her being diagnosed with some underlying conditions and talked about how going to doctors appointments with her exposed me to the healthcare field and then talked about how I think I have developed certain characteristics because of my sister that will make me a good doctor. Every interview I have had, my PS is always brought up and told that it was a compelling story and they want to know more. So, it's all about how you frame your mother's story and you focus on what you have learned because of your mother's condition and how it will make you a better doctor.

 

[CyrilFiggis]

Stories like this, including the one I told about my dad in my PS, are good jumping off points. The whole narrative should be no more than 10-15% of your PS character count. If that was the spark to your interest in the function, health and treatment of the ill, use it.

Having a personal reason for being interested in medicine is great. Frankly, the substance is going to seem trite simply because the majority of applicants have those - some more than others. Your mom has MS, my dad had cancer, I know someone who helped deliver their baby brother on the side of the highway. But what really matters is what you did next. What patients have you encountered, what experiences have you had through this process that have reaffirmed your passion. That's how you make it less cliche. Remember, most of LoTR isn't about how Frodo got the ring, but rather his journey to Mordor.

 

[Med Ed]

When I started writing drafts of my PS, I did write about some unique experiences I had that helped me down this path, but ultimately the people who reviewed my statement all said that it was inappropriate and controversial to include those in a med school personal statement.

Do tell.

 

[MDPedigree]

Do tell.

My parents lost their home when I was growing up and never had any money. I wanted a career with financial stability, among other things.

I also witnessed my dad get cursed at and yelled at by his boss one day for being a janitor and not even being able to do it right. Ever since that day I wanted a job with high prestige.

 

[Lannister]

Like 75% or more of personal statements are about a parent's illness. And 99.9% of personal statements are cliché. Don't worry about it too much, as long as your personal statement is well-written and doesn't make you sound crazy, narcissistic, etc. you'll be fine.

 

[CyrilFiggis]

My parents lost their home when I was growing up and never had any money. I wanted a career with financial stability, among other things.

I also witnessed my dad get cursed at and yelled at by his boss one day for being a janitor and not even being able to do it right. Ever since that day I wanted a job with high prestige.

That's sh***y that you had to go through that, but you were guided in the right direction to not write that. Answering "why medicine" with "because I want respect, prestige and money" will make you stand out, but not for the right reasons.

 

[DokterMom]

There's a statistic bandied around here that goes something like this: "90% of personal statements are boring/cliche and will ultimately have no bearing on your chances of getting an interview invitation. Of the ones that are not, 3% are memorable for being good and 7% are memorable for being awful. Your goal is to avoid being in that 7%."

OK, so your mom's MS probably puts you in the 90%. The things that are relatively unique in your story and that can put you into the good 3% are the fact that your parents are both scientists and as such were willing and able to explain the disease process to you -- so the intertwined science/medicine angle from an early age versus the scared kid angle.

The second unusual factor is that you actually put your interest and life experiences to use helping people with disabilities; most applicants don't actually do this until they see it will be necessary to get into medical school. If you got involved early and stayed involved, that will set you apart.

Thirdly, that you realized you wanted to use this knowledge and your life experiences clinically instead of the laboratory - while working in a lab no less - is the kind of insight that rings true and sounds sincere.

Don't over-complicate your story with big words. Just speak from the heart and tell it like it is. You've got a good story.

 

[MDPedigree]

That's sh***y that you had to go through that, but you were guided in the right direction to not write that. Answering "why medicine" with "because I want respect, prestige and money" will make you stand out, but not for the right reasons.

Yup, it sucks that people like me have to hold back our true feelings a little bit to get in. Everything I wrote in my PS is true (loving to care for others, wanting to make a difference etc.), but I feel as though I didn't put my most significant reasons down because I knew I couldn't. This med school game is just a bunch of hoops we have to pass through, unfortunately.

 

[kgamon8]

There's a statistic bandies around here that goes something like this: "90% of personal statements are boring/cliche and will ultimately have no bearing on your chances of getting an interview invitation. Of the ones that are not, 3% are memorable for being good and 7% are memorable for being awful. Your goal is to avoid being in that 7%."

OK, so your mom's MS probably puts you in the 90%. The things that are relatively unique in your story and that can put you into the good 3% are the fact that your parents are both scientists and as such were willing and able to explain the disease process to you -- so the intertwined science/medicine angle from an early age versus the scared kid angle.

The second unusual factor is that you actually put your interest and life experiences to use helping people with disabilities; most applicants don't actually do this until they see it will be necessary to get into medical school. If you got involved early and stayed involved, that will set you apart.

Thirdly, that you realized you wanted to use this knowledge and your life experiences clinically instead of the laboratory - while working in a lab no less - is the kind of insight that rings true and sounds sincere.

Don't over-complicate your story with big words. Just speak from the heart and tell it like it is. You've got a good story.

oh my gosh, you said what i wanted to say but couldn’t put into words! thanks!

 

[Med Ed]

Yup, it sucks that people like me have to hold back our true feelings a little bit to get in. Everything I wrote in my PS is true (loving to care for others, wanting to make a difference etc.), but I feel as though I didn't put my most significant reasons down because I knew I couldn't. This med school game is just a bunch of hoops we have to pass through, unfortunately.

If your most significant reasons revolve around financial security, get ready to be miserable. Unless you have a full ride + stipend, or some other newfound means to pay your way, you're going to have to cross a very long chasm of debt before you can live the life you think you want. Hopefully you won't decide that you don't like the path after you're in too deep.

 

[MDPedigree]

If your most significant reasons revolve around financial security, get ready to be miserable. Unless you have a full ride + stipend, or some other newfound means to pay your way, you're going to have to cross a very long chasm of debt before you can live the life you think you want. Hopefully you won't decide that you don't like the path after you're in too deep.

I clearly said "among other reasons". It's not my main reason, but it is one of my reasons (I probably have around 10 solid reasons). And money is no worry for me. I'm 27 and have been working a 6-figure salary non-medical job since I graduated college 6 years ago. I have enough saved up to the point where I may get away with not having to take out any loans (would have to live a minimalist life-style though).

 

[Med Ed]

I clearly said "among other reasons".

"...I wanted a career with financial stability..."

"...I wanted a job with high prestige."

"...I feel as though I didn't put my most significant reasons down..."

 

[MDPedigree]

"...I wanted a career with financial stability..."

"...I wanted a job with high prestige."

"...I feel as though I didn't put my most significant reasons down..."

It's still one of many.. reasonS. Regardless, I am graduating med school with little to no debt so your point does not apply to my case.

 

[Med Ed]

It's still one of many.. reasonS. Regardless, I am graduating med school with little to no debt so your point does not apply to my case.

Well, this is where it gets interesting, because if financial security is high on the expansive list of reasons you have articulated to become a physician, then leaving a 6 figure job in your 20’s, cashing in a chunk of your savings, and having four years of no earnings, followed by three to seven of modest earnings, makes little sense.

Can’t wait to see how this turns out.

 

[MDPedigree]

Well, this is where it gets interesting, because if financial security is high on the expansive list of reasons you have articulated to become a physician, then leaving a 6 figure job in your 20’s, cashing in a chunk of your savings, and having four years of no earnings, followed by three to seven of modest earnings, makes little sense.

Can’t wait to see how this turns out.

Lol don’t worry about me my guy. You would be correct if money was the ONLY thing I was after, but once again, your reading skills are failing you. Money is one thing I’m after... one of 10 things. My current job does not get me the other 9.

 

[mistafab]

Cliche is fine as long as the writing doesn’t suck. Most PS don’t stand out. If you are honest and genuine a reader can tell. Your mentors/people who help you edit will be able to quickly help polish and help you say what you want to say. Always remember that the essay is “why medicine.”

 

[Med Ed]

Lol don’t worry about me my guy. You would be correct if money was the ONLY thing I was after, but once again, your reading skills are failing you. Money is one thing I’m after... one of 10 things. My current job does not get me the other 9.

I believe my reading skills are fine, but I'm not sure you understand the tenor of your posts on this matter. For instance, here is what you wrote in post #14:

"Yup, it sucks that people like me have to hold back our true feelings a little bit to get in. Everything I wrote in my PS is true (loving to care for others, wanting to make a difference etc.), but I feel as though I didn't put my most significant reasons down because I knew I couldn't. This med school game is just a bunch of hoops we have to pass through, unfortunately."

Would you care to enumerate and more fully explain the bolded?

 

[MDPedigree]

I believe my reading skills are fine, but I'm not sure you understand the tenor of your posts on this matter. For instance, here is what you wrote in post #14:

"Yup, it sucks that people like me have to hold back our true feelings a little bit to get in. Everything I wrote in my PS is true (loving to care for others, wanting to make a difference etc.), but I feel as though I didn't put my most significant reasons down because I knew I couldn't. This med school game is just a bunch of hoops we have to pass through, unfortunately."

Would you care to enumerate and more fully explain the bolded?

Lol I would think a physician would have better things to do than to just argue with an internet stranger. No I'm fine. I don't need to explain myself to anyone.

Have a nice day!

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Wow, I get to use this twice in one day:



Seriously though, "What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun" (Ecc. 1:9). Just put your spin on it. And avoid trite phrases.

 

[Goro]

Lol I would think a physician would have better things to do than to just argue with an internet stranger. No I'm fine. I don't need to explain myself to anyone.

Have a nice day!

I don't know...maybe because he's truly dedicated to the training of future physicians???

And one who's trying to give you a peek inside the heads of Adcoms?

And one who's trying to prevent you from making a seriously bad mistake because your primary motivations are the wrong ones.

 

[LizzyM]

I don't know...maybe because he's truly dedicated to the training of future physicians???

And one who's trying to give you a peek inside the heads of Adcoms?

And one who's trying to prevent you from making a seriously bad mistake because your primary motivations are the wrong ones.

Sometimes, I'm just here to witness the slow-motion crash and burn... remember the guy who would not do any volunteering because he wasn't giving anything away for free... he lasted a few months in medical school and is now in accounting.

 

[Dr.Toboggan]

Remember, most of LoTR isn't about how Frodo got the ring, but rather his journey to Mordor.

This is the best analogy I've ever seen

 

[kgamon8]

This is the best analogy I've ever seen

i LOVE Always Sunny!! greatest username ever